There is no later state of arrival from a down position, that’s a position that causes you pain, and that pain is done for the purpose of generating a response from you, to make sense of their deductions of you. Not all will be welcome to your presence, or know what youre about, but there will be something about you not liked, and if cannot be proven, then just go your separate ways, that is the trait inherent to someone, upon looking at you, does not agree with something your saying, or what youre doing, and its from the deduction that people make the leap towards you, not in conformity to your interests present or past, and that’s a feeling that cannot be done away with, someone done with you, so just do your best to part ways. It’s a very heavy compression, on anyone, who is one way, and is viewed as another, that cannot be proven through words alone, what it physically feels like to be a position, that gets voices, or if anyone is trying to blame, in favor of another, it is how your past is perceived is how you get treated, as the position you get put in, is so that no one else is made to feel that way, until it’s a recognizable feeling to others, that you are in pain, or not going to make it, and that is what others become not sure of about you, why you are in a position of pain that cannot be made better, all letting gos hurt, and its not something that you can later prove, to get along with any voices in your head, in your body, or around you, pretending to be something no longer here, in representation of someone no longer here, then treat you like youre not longer here, to see how you look feel or respond to others trying to speak to you as though you are not living, or not thriving, or not going to make it, to make it a state issue, as to who is deserving of what treatments and life on what basis. There is a point of not turning around, and whether or not that is dying, or mental illness, its obviously a condition that I cannot run in, you can never do anything to please anyone who responds not in favor of you, they don’t think of you in a positive way, therefore you don’t make them feel good, no matter whether you have graduated are getting job interviews, that’s letting others decide where you belong, and if you don’t belong in writing then where do you belong, Im not sure if a condition in which I was not writing hitting my head obese and grose looking was the solution, not if everyone was struggling. So take that into a account, that combined struggles in life, don’t do anyone a service in life, and that’s not necessarily how things go wrong either. So lets move forward from, who wants who, and what things are about, people are mostly into themselves, and treat you like youre into yourself, or being looked at, and that’s why people get put down, okay around others, and others not okay with them, like Jamba Juice, if Im not soliciting for attentions from anyone, then that’s you looking at me and not liking me, not me being physically or mentally defective causing you to not like me, that why he left Jamba Juice, Im not contagious, but that type of behavior and mentally is whatever it means to you, to suit yourself in life, if you think that’s doing anyone a service to remind me that I am nothing, or to cause me to complain about something minor in public, ro make things about something else that comes to mind upon looking at me. You will not make everyone happy, and most of what people go through is them piecemealing life together, whether that suits your best interests in life or not. I don’t think Ive ever been made to feel more ashamed of myself in my life, or ever been made to struggle quite as hard as I have since recently, I don’t think my medication issues past are for public discourse, not if I have taken as prescribed while working, for the entirety of working, to then try to disprove upon having a new job, the accuse me of creating my own mental health issues, over a manifested guilt of my own, exiting by time period, designated by photo, viewed in the past, which gave another strength in trying to promote a different set of interests other than honesty, if its honestly they don’t care about you so be it, if they care about others, and try to punish you, like you don’t care about yourself or others, then that’s not God. That’s people trying to punush you, like you don’t care about yourself or others, which can make working hard, being in public (identifiably difficult if you have voices, then one is not out in public its not vice versa, the public to me, that causes me to stay home, they could care less but in a positive way concerned for themselves). So no matter who changed their name or for what reasons, whether to spite me, cause me mental illness, or to lose any case they are brainstorming in their minds to be about me, then that’s me being watched for mistake, and that’s not me being tricked, that me losing my life, to whatever is thought to be about me, and once you start trying to justify that hate, that’s not a battle that I can win through any amount of discussion, and that’s trying to convince me to die, to then cause me to hurt myself, to represent anothers living concerns in life, that don’t include my own.
That’s how the circuit works, one complaint, or one misunderstanding, then you don’t date for the rest of your life, once anyone executes that upper edge toward you in life, that means don’t go out, don’t date, not fit to work, not employable, and that’s not just not being not famous, that’s also not being used for excuse for anyones past mental health issues toward me, expecting for a different result. I once said on Twitter “please don’t hurt me until something bad happens,” and maybe that doesn’t include anyone not feeling sorry for me if Im in physical pain, getting headaches, or under performing in life, they will always think that whats coming to you in life is deserved and that’s if they think you are mentally retarded or carry some disease or existing discrimination (issues) that you: (1) are not sure about or (2) don’t know about, and that’s not something that can be proven by names, the cause of a pain, or by what misunderstanding represented by anothers issues in life, to treat you like you have some prior obsession, disorientation, mental illness, or lack of beauty, having to do with the opposite sex or same sex. So what is all the fighting about, if it’s a misunderstanding that you cannot prove and if its something on your Instagram that another does not like, and also does not report to anyone and is not taken down, then its something about your brain, body, intelligence, or resume, that they perceive as a threat that they are in disagreement to, and that then becomes the basis for a complaint as to your well being, the status of your mental health, the history of your mental health issues, what stemming from, known or unknown causes, and what keeps you going in life, if its not now for marriage (weight loss), being picked (intelligence for jobs), then one asks: what is the point of living life, if people are not happy with you, and for what reasons, do they think or expect you to try harder in life, and to what standard of intelligence is expected. #stopsuicide - Recognize your own self-worth, because if you get stuck reading others and dont feel good, then its best to focus on yourself, not be read by anyone. -This is how I feel currently, not motivated, in physical pain, and things not going well for me in writing. Then what can be done, about everyones personal issues with me, what if I dont speak at all? Will that be better? Since November (2020), so that fighting with an Ex, an Ex fighting me, because Im not sexual anymore, and not in the mood, not being warm toward him, then him taking out his frustrations in life on me, shared to a new employer, who then does not take my side, also does not hire "a friend" who he asked if I had friends who need jobs, so forwarded him my Exes number, who recently replied yesterday that hes doing fine, to check on him, You cant be well for everyone, if I was told to get a job, then thats what Im working towards, even if it was through blogging that I improved, working for free, its obvious that in order to live life, be a success, you have to earn a wage, and if you are not working for money, then no one will understand your value, think its about something else, especially not defensive in life, thats not how you speak in public, to drag anyone into your life, if you are not who you say you are, Ive done my best to photo and on paper (through writing), to be as honest for two years writing everyday, and thats not with a "war in mind," with "self-harm in mind," with anything negative in mind, but now once you lose that stability, its also a stability that no one else can provide for you, not feeling like youve said "enough," to make any sort of difference in life, whether that be explaining for another, or even yourself, and its not my time, to pass yet, and it should also not be a time, to convince anyone else of anything complicated, treatable with medication, I think past the point of sharing, and feeling sick, is most like January 2020 projectile vomiting foam, and thats also not my fault, taking as prescribed, you could be losing an argument in life, and that can cause your suffering, to not be understood, and if at no later point in time you make sense, thats okay too that no one needs you either, that doesnt also justify anyones attempt to see you ruin your life, to see if you ruin anyone elses life, thats when its time to stop blogging, and that doesnt mean (here is unwanted closeness) I dont care, it means its not working. Not working for me, and also not working for anyone, who is making it known to me they dont like me, or dont like me because Im not making money, Im not pretty, Im not thin, Im not married. #stophate - Working through mental health issues (self-harm).
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
Categories |