Peace is achieved on ones own. Its not something you are taught, and there is no strategy for overcoming hardship on your own, that needs to be explained to anyone. If another's sense of peace is causing me mental disturbance, its because they expect more from me, while I have provided everything online and in private for review. Thats trying to build information through me, by attacking my sense of character and based upon seeing who Im connected make themselves of importance. Allow me to be at peace without chiming in, or "@" me, if its been clear that I no longer want to communicate with someone who is causing me harm, that is because hearing from this person, upon a moment of rest after hours of writing, makes me want to hit my head, self-harm, that means that an unwanted communication was sent to me, past wanting to hear from someone, who has harmed me. That is his choice to hurt me post a moment, of collecting my thoughts, and looking at things in the positive. I obviously dont care to hear his story, he just shared his face after 8 months of talking to him, and didnt even give me time to adjust to continue speaking to him, after sharing my heart, my life, my face, and photos and videos of my body to someone, I havent even seen. Thats too close for comfort. Someone who reaches a point or speed in life, thats ahead of you, often feels this way, as though they have won, conquered their demons, or wrestled a goliath, that makes them feel empowered to see your work, and then think they are faster than you, or as though their thinking and way of maneuvering around the issues, sheds a better light upon the times, whether or not they are making use of your image and identity, as a "shield" in order to attract attentions or to not be harmed, thats to generate a positive reaction toward them as though they know you better than your audience does, or have seen a side of you that your audience, loved ones, family, or friends have not seen. Typical opportunist, sees someone who they do not see of value, as she becomes of value, suddenly interested, as gone, disinterested and trashed, and then upon trajedy, act like they have a story to be shared about me. Threatening me to send all information to the FBI. Go ahead! Or threaten me by contacting Attorney's I have already contacted. Go ahead! Take it court. This person is someone who doesnt know when to stop. I have been through addiction and back, alcoholism, sex addiction, bullying, defamation, lawsuit, jail, misdemeanor, drug use, and cocaine addiction, never did I ever blame anyone for my hardships, always holding myself accountable for my own mental health issues, never did it ever cross my mind, that I was famous, or known, or that things were being done to me, to harm me, or even think twice that I was being harmed, to generate a reaction from people around me. Now I have an audience. You cannot control men who love you and who are experimental with you, and you cannot control people who do not know you and are experimental with you. And no one is there for you when you are down, struggling, suicidal, or self-harming thats for sure. Whats does this mean? Its means if you are held to high standards, and viewed as intelligent, then no one can tell you what is wrong with you, but if they hear in your 4th step, that you touched someones butt hole because Cosmopolitan magazine told you to touch a mans perenniel, and if your ex stuck his finger in your butt, then yes you accept the whole dick eventually. Thats love, no one knows what the F they are doing, and then there are those who see what youre doing, and as they are watching you do something well, interfere with that focus, that manner of intelligence, and ability, why? To be apart of that success. Which explains why I left Justice Roberts on his elbow for 8 years. Point of discomfort being, how I have come to know others, is not how all are able to know and treat others, and that is an example of how some people are hurt, by getting to know them, not respect them as they are, and by the more they get to know them, take them less seriously, never have I ever not respected someone I admired, and never have I ever had sexual thoughts about someone I looked up to.
Originally posted 09-20-20
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The good news is you don’t have to be emotionally invested in anything I have to say, as it does not and probably does not concern you, my well being, that would be sharing, for compassion or tribute be paid, to me or whomever condolences or attentions seem sought after and for. That would be sharing for the purposes of directing attentions of people to people, or for the purpose of directing attentions to what I deem beneficial to the health or understandings of others, that I am yet privied to create yet online, sharing the work of others, “individual compositions” on websites run by “individuals” for the promotion of “their own work.” That would be subjecting people to unwanted attentions in life, unwanted meaning “a heavy energy of 17M in traffic, on rotation, that come and go as they please, in regular multiples per month on average visited, some 5,000 visitors, mostly unique each month, but the same number of people visiting each month.” There is no set standard of care, however once it has been publicized, that becomes the recognized standard of care, based upon previous treatments made known in public. That is how talking about ones own life does one a disservice, to complain, or share about a difficulty managed on ones own, and the outcome, that you cannot control in a bigger multiple in life, as quickly as rumors spread, and as justified as people may feel having overheard your story, the majority will always lean to the side of who is well, that is who is at ease, the side favored, over an emotional side, a side not yet found, or still overcoming difficulties, and depending on how long it takes for someone to recover, faith is lost, and separations further justified by pre-establishing harms, to further prevent someone from rehabilitating themselves in public, and improving the conditions of their own life, and ability to get along with others, if on a small scale shared, with the capacity on a larger scale to be experimented with. Ive never permitted anyone other than the government to take on any kind of supervisory role in terms of my health, my care, my well being, my recovery, or view my decision making skills, overtime, and judge me overall, on the basis of what I say, whether leading to better insights, or misleading to poorer insights. That is the value of an opinion these days, depending on how you choose to live your life, small minded, minding your own business, or as affected “insulted” “taunted” “ridiculed” “bullied” how big do your problems become and how much do you have to share online, to articulate that you have addressed all fears, of or concerning you as mentioned by you, and that the responsible authorities have been informed, of the conditions I am under hearing voices, without knowing why, as though they have justification as to why? Thinking Im gay “calling me pervert” and only feeling better about what they have said or justified, if I watch porn and masturbate, to illustrate a caused condition bicuriosity, beginning while living in Westwood. We all have insecurities one of which are looks, and one of my biggest insecurities is what my “vagina” looks like. That’s a feminine issue, not a psychological issue, or for question as to my self-care routines, sexual history, femininity, or what resulted in breakups, what my “vagina” looks like. Whats also of concern is what “my face” looks like and what my “voice sounds like” and what causes my octave to change, my face to change, what brings out my feminine side, what causes me to sound like a tomboy, and other age old questions of why a woman is the way they are, and at what point a woman is no longer treated as a woman, if they can be defined as gay, then put down in life, as having caused their own mental health issues, upon attraction to the opposite or same sex and why. What causes love? Its an acceptance for another, its not a lets touch bodies type of love, that’s not love always. Men are a “lets touch bodies” when I accept you, that’s how they are, they only feel loved “if your body touches theirs” and they only respect you for “as long as you stay” once you leave, they relinquish themselves of all responsibility for you, even if something bad happens to you, make a concerted effort to not be responsible for you present condition as anger is expressed toward you by them, upon being out alone writing in your phone, it doesn’t matter how much the times have changed, or how important I am to others, if I want to know what the world is like now, after having attended law school, smarter, and separate from all friends and boyfriends, I have that right to see how I am around people, and get some people time. Im a people person, I enjoyed going out, can talk to everyone, a social butterfly, however because I got done by men I was social with, whos acceptance by me, made them want to “touch bodies with me” I as a result, no matter what I was going through, was made to look worse, devalued.
"Thinking Out Loud" Book v1 by Leslie A. Fischman with help with assembly and editing by Amazon Book Writing Inc. (Written 2018, with Edits until 2020). Future Plan: To publish this book.
MY Intellectual Property: Book: Thinking Out Loud By: Leslie A. Fischman https://www.mymollydoll.com/blog/thinking-out-loud-book-v1-by-leslie-a-fischman-with-edit-by-amazon-book-writing-inc-written-2018-with-edits-until-2020 Draft Version: 08-29-20 Removed Post 09-03-20 |
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