Fame is not always the preferred agent of change, especially not if the same consequences result. The purpose for leadership toward any coming to be results from the basis of stability not instability. The dream therefore is not just a speech full of what we need to hear or haven’t heard yet or the solution to upheaval alone, life is not meant to be lived in an exact way. If we cant rely on our intuitions alone to make good decisions, then whos intuitions should we follow or adhere to. What you incorporate into your understandings will always be the later basis for supporting or dissuading others from belief. We can do our best to advise one another support one another, but there will always be those led astray whether by interference, drugs, alcohol, people, or even opinions for that matter. We are entering a period in time, full of resentment and question, and that’s a normal process of making deductions to questions positions of authority in life, and maybe begin to not trust those in positions of authority as knowing whats best for us, you will always be affected first and foremost by what you allow to affect you, so be sure not to convince yourself that things are worse than they are and lose sight of the possibility for things to be well again, this is a good time to rely on your faith, your principles, and whatever rules you make up for yourself, in order to survive the worst happenings in life, steer clear of discouraging those types of behaviors from talking hold of everyone. There is only so much aggravation that one can withstand being in a speaking position in life, before ones sense fail, and that occurs when you are doing well, and thrust with issues or responsibilities beyond what are your own, only take on what you can manage in life, and don’t fail to see the beauty in life, no matter what is said, no matter what is done, no matter what is heard, and no matter what is believed. I have always been someone who was raised to see the good in others, and that’s just how I am, not someone looking for a fight, not someone who fights, and not someone who criticizes anyone elses form of happiness in life, no matter who they find happiness with. That’s not being bitter, not being jealous, and not being threatened in life, and sometimes that’s all that’s needed in order for someone to feel supported by you, and without hesitancy welcome you into their life, or their heart for that matter. But the times are street, and that cannot stop anyone, from breaking your promising future, hindering you current beliefs, offset your past troubles, or allow you to bloom and become the person you are and have always been, that’s loving the wrong people in life, that’s trusting the wrong people in life, and that’s the type of karma created, that destroys lives, when someone else life puts other lives at odds, and so a distance occurs. Whenever illness takes hold, that’s a time to step back, stop what your doing, and figure out what the purposes of others are in degrading you in public, by what means, and for what result, Im pretty sure that being hurt publicly doesn’t help anyone, not Dr. Dre, not Justice Ginsberg, and not my Father, all three fell ill, the moment my life was put in the hands of another, who decided to destroy my life, while I was a top blogger online, at peace, doing well, accomplishing my goals in life, graduating, and supportive of everyone I ever came into contact with. Ask yourself when violence ensues, when shooting are rampant, when protests are everyone, when unhappiness is rising, what can you do to make things better, hurting a system of support to others is rarely the solution, you never know who anyone is connected to, whoever is being supported by, not allow the risks inherent to being disliked to pass to those unbeknowest bystanders to whatever is going well for whom and why. Not all will benefit from what is working, what is providing solution, and what is helping keep others strong, we all make choices in life, and some of us are not physically or mentally strong enough to handle downs in life, you can be open and honest about your condition, but that doesn’t mean that anyone will back off, or go out of their way to support you on a bad day, or be understanding of your losses in energy, while providing support to the majority online, liked overall, and without hesitancy known, without a bad seed in the room. That’s how defamation affects someone physically and mentally, and that’s how disappointment and distrust affects others, never forget where you come from, never forget who has succeeded before you, never forget who has advised you, never forgot who was there for you, and never forget to go back to where you came from, and do your best to help out during a time of need, own your faults in life, be honest of your mistakes, and do your best to recuperate on your own in life, without causing problems to others, including who has supported you past. No one generally is there for you during a moment of need, that’s a place only you know how to get yourself out of, when others are treating you as guilty, the problem, or not apart of the solution, if I wasn’t apart of the solution, I would not have had 17 million views walking in the door with a website half made. That’s being of value, that’s not being a problem to anyone, that’s being special, that’s being smart, its not a fluke side effect of knowing one person in common OJ Simpson. It’s a matter of hard work (8 years of writing and correspondence with the courts), showing up to court, calling the courts yourself, calling your Attorney, calling the police, reporting, getting help, going to therapy, going to AA, staying sober, staying clean, working hard everyday, writing everyday, applying to jobs, working jobs, writing books, calling Attorneys, that’s being affected and doing your best to inform others of the effect that is taking place on your life, that’s to prevent loss and destruction, and if you ever find yourself a victim of homicide, I hope and pray that you will be equally strong, in the face of disaster, in the face of odds, in the face of rejections, disdain, disappointment, or bullying, they will never be you, they will never know you, they will never understand all that you have been through, all the risks imposed to your health, and they will always be themselves outside of the problem, outside of the story, outside of your life, and outside of your mental health issues. For everyone else, everythings a joke, and a choice about who to put down next, who to blame next, who to ostracize next, who to villainize, and who to destroy, if you guys can live life leading yourselves, then don’t hurt people who have achieved in life, such as myself, and doing their best to remain diplomatic during all circumstances, hospitalized 9x bipolar, before even saying a word online, that’s being private, that’s being professional, and that’s not blaming anyone for any condition I have ever been in in which I have been at odds with anyone, that’s being understanding, that’s comprehending risk, and that’s not allowing yourself to be convinced that your mentally ill or anything that anyone can make up about you to get people to not like you in life, that’s being successful, not allowing anyone to scare you, or convince you that you are something that you are not, that’s being brave, that’s providing a voice, that’s not being selfish, and that’s being hardworking.
When you look no better than the rest, that’s to remind you that you are not special, that’s so no one notices you or changes upon seeing you made to feel good by you, so become someone in the room sensed, but who does not appear well, that’s when there is something scary about you, such as self-harming or hitting your head and that much cannot be changed about a person who self-harms, and that’s how you get treated if you have bipolar treated as mentally ill deficient and insufficient to be in a workplace that demands courtesy and sensitivity to all issues, made out to be a reckloose, not the version of yourself you remember yourself as, and thats after having worked on getting to a place in life where you are able to work again, and then being stripped of all privileges to do well in life, that’s not God taking your power away, that’s someone physically hurting your feelings like you are responsible for making them feel good and that’s taking things too far to make other women feel good by trashing some and making others feel special that’s not how you treat women in order to make other women feel good, making them alike, in “nudity,” that doesn’t simplify the issue of who steps on who in life, and who is being feminine toward whom in life, better than, you either admire women and improve in life, and if you do not feel well no one will be impressed by you and no one will be made to feel good by someone who is emotionally unstable, insecure, and has mental health issues, everyone just wants to have fun, and if they cannot have fun with you, they criticize you like you are going to have fun with someone else, treat you like a whore. Im not a whore, Im trying to figure out where I belong in life, and figure out where I will do well, and figure out how to be loved in life, and there is nothing wrong with improving yourself, not your hand in life, in order to find love and to be loved, and that’s not something you ruin the chances of, make someone feel bad about themselves for being obese or for taking meds, if the meds stop suicide, then that’s the best I can do, and that’s doing what I have been told. Im as smart as I can possibly be and Im sorry if Im not smart enough for you, or if you think life is about different things in life. And Im sorry if Im not having sex with anyone, and if anyone feels offended that I don’t wish to make a life long commitment to making someone else feel good and cheering someone else up on an individual basis, I think Im worth more than making one person feel good, I wanted to get a job, and to feel good having something to do each day, and its not about what my resume looks like, if I have not worked that’s because I have not been able to work, and because I was not mature enough to handle work situations then that is why I am not connected to anyone, and why my Ex-Bosses still keep in touch with me, its always when you are in a better place in life someone past contacts you and wants to see how your doing and that’s okay to have conversations with people about life, and how you are doing, its not a full-time job text messaging, why be glued to someone else physically and emotionally talking all day, when your time can be better spent glued to a book reading a book, and figuring out how to get a job, and what will make you feel good and feel smart again. Everyone is capable of being stupid, and everyone is capable of being harmed, and everyone is capable of being defensive, but there comes a point when you have to stop going by your feelings in life, and try to put someone light out because you think that’s the solution to preserving the light of others, to make someone “go crazy” or “get angry” to see what they do, they don’t care about what happens to you, they just want to “piss you off” and “take things too far” to see what you look like dominated by the intelligences of others who feel threatened by your own stability and sense of peace. Learn when to stop and let people work. Sometimes connecting does not help with focus, train of thought, and ALL writers are self-conscious and try hard, its not easy to do, to think, its something that occurs naturally being able to share what your heart and your mind look like and not all people are comfortable with doing that.
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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