I don’t think its appropriate for others to be hurtful toward any person who is trying to better themselves, its not appropriate to criticize the past of others, and its certainly not appropriate to be mean to those who self-harm, or trying to better themselves for themselves, that’s an unreasonable territory creation as toward someone who they think is not deserving of being apart of and by sharing the voice of a criticism see how someone responds as self-harming that’s an unwanted retaliation upon someone, as thinking they as after self-harming and blogging seek the same treatment or better treatment from others, that is not what is sought simply a refrainment from criticism as this causes self-harm to criticize someone who has every right in the privacy of their personal spaces or with others to whom they confide in to discuss their problems, that puts no one at risk of harm to cause illness to someone who is suicidal but it does cause me illness for others to assume I am ill and because I am not well of risk of harm to others, it should not therefore be the cause and trigger for someone to self-harm and then by use of their private spaces justify a harm to that person as of risk of harm to others, had the first harm not occurred and so follow as the suicidal ideation and self-harm would not occur. Its an unwanted discussion among non-professionals as to my psychiatric condition if Im doing well not make worse my condition to please any one person who is against me, as I am not deserving of suicide 2009 and do not think its positive for negative discussions to occur as to my Twitter account 2017 which could not be taken down and is causing me suicide, as not attached to anyone famous, and then to say if I commit suicide that my 10 follower account 2012 is what caused me illness or that my illness now is attributed to my own decision making, no that is not true sometimes we become ill by what is around us and sometimes we isolate and sometimes what is said is used to cause us harm and by that harm of words we choose others cause harm to us, and by their complaints wait until we self-harm to then justify a harm when well 2017.
You cannot move forward if in retaliation others bring up incidences past in defense of others, or treat you as in the side opposition made to look worse than in the past as the side opposed to, when you were once conservative any oddities stand out to you that was 2008, later in 2009 those oddities if they pile up can cause further illness, those were my arguments then when I later needed help and sought help those incidences were used to make me look like I needed help turned on, upon disclosing my problems to others, that’s an unwanted retaliation upon someone who was otherwise independent of others, made to be less than others, and by making someone less than others appear bigger of better than and leave me worse off, then compare my past as though I was affected while younger and then as older … held those resentments and that those resentments were any driving force in life … that’s not how to achieve in life by remembering your past, if you have things to remember they are called upon by your memory or triggered by others an in memory of you … that is how the mind works … you cannot control what people think you an only control what you think, and if as told or untold people are memorizing stories about you to match what they think and then re-trigger stories about you now, to further the thoughts now of your past, to see if others come forward and none come forward then it is not me who is offender but an unwanted retaliation upon me, and for each instance in which I was made sick in retaliation to false ideas about me, I am therefore not responsible for the illnesses of others that followed in thinking less of me and because less of me was thought, I did not deserve to be punished it is for those reasons upon reasons I committed suicide 2009 and its not my fault.
Theres no such thing as a justifiable use of force upon a persons or group of persons, the reason being you cannot justify any offense toward someone in defensive of an offense taken without committing a offense toward someone you think is deserving without them or anyone arounf them getting hurt by those defenses to self, why its important not to insult or provoke for the purposes of causing illness in someone else, as toward them thought deserved. There are many sensitive people at this time whom would agree, with a higher degree of sensitivity to the issues, understand not to insult people purposefully as you have no idea what they are experiencing behind the scenes, and no neither they nor anyone else deserves self-harm by fighting or insult. Its often too late and requires too much change to change the opinions or actions past toward groups or individuals, and by the time any words are spoken to those interactions the pain has already occurred whether its my empowering the wrong people as stating what has occurred out loud, disempowering the speaker, or resulting in self-harm to the listener who has not yet spoke, just because someone does not attend meetings does not mean they are using and just because someone has gained weight does not mean they were using, often times its because of medications we gain or lose weights as prescribed be careful not to offend people you do not self-identify with and think jusitifed as being above someone who self-dentifies publicy that its okay to cross-talk and make sick any others persons to an audience, and call that uplifting speech … to inspire hate toward people, as justified by your telling of a story about self that is falsified to mirror the story of someone else in the audience to whose story on the outside looks like the story youre telling by looking at someone and judging them, making up a story about yourself. Its very rare to be in a group of people who tell stories to see what you self-identify with, and out loud ridicule you until you committ suicide or become ill, because they are testing your waters, to try to fix you, its is never the responsibility of others to fix others, and it is never the responsibility of the speaker to self-identify in others what their problems are that’s an unwanted diagnosis and causes illness to me, #stophate #AA.
Don’t gamble with your freedoms in life, or the input made by others, be abusive toward others to affect their input or output online, not everyone blogs and has the benefit of the confidences of others, to not be made to look like a party of interest or a person to be used for information creation to create arguments toward the source of information creation. We all utilize sources of input differently that doesn’t put us at the source of intel or make us look like we are a source of intel, it just means that we are observant, “we” meaning my personality type. Not everyone is the same, and by my personality not the same or gifted in the same way as others, we all do our best … its important therefore not to be judgmental toward people who do do their best and at the same time things still go wrong, allow people to move forward in life, it is not the responsibility of any one person to cure the faiths of others to believe in anything bigger than themselves, and when all faith has been lost blame others for their loss of faith as those they were not in tune or in alignment with the masses nor blame those who were not made aware of who was in alignment, blame them for not stepping in or intervening with the abstract interpretations or justifications for making outter pictures of inner pictures in life. You cannot blame building fixtures, as matching fixtures to explain prayer in a graveyard, you cannot blame suicide mentions for running to a graveyard, you cannot blame marching on school shootings or for personal basis (I was holding my macbook), you cannot blame gay for death, or for suicide, any hate is on its own wrong, no type of hate can be typified to justify why and by whom was at attack and if proven gay, that those attacks upon that person, caused the death of others, no offender can be used as identified to identify whether others are like and if so an offender for fame or to be in the news as popular as, no offense if not similar to the same degree can be used as in jest pryed from, and be used to justify attacks on someone as in defense to whether they are gay or not, and then call them gay and blame the deaths of others past due to them being gay to then prove they are perverted or that there is something wrong with them, that’s is an unreasonable search of a persons private spaces to justify a hate toward them, that does not explain ituningings my law school class, taking down two houses is not justification for the taking down of houses in Texas, and no Silicon Beach moving here and Clueless and fires are not related nor is the hail storm in the Valley, due to any deficiency in the part of the people to identify the problem, or whats of problem. Who is dating and who is not dating does not determine who is good or who is bad, it simply means have faith that does not mean that if there was a loss of faith that that loss of faith is justification for why songs were written as though faith was lost in that way, I attempted suicide 2009 because of 9/11, living in West Hollywood, and drinking, that’s looking at the past and assembling things wrong, which is why I stayed in law school and attended two law schools to assemble things better or not at all, if you have to assemble things to make sense of your world be sure to always stay positive, that’s your best bet moving forward not focusing on incidences past of individuals or of others in groups, and alike them as to the causes for which incidences occur, that’s a wrongful misidentification of someone who has remained silent and then upon speaking accusing them of something else, to put them in for something else ... [removed].
You’ll reach varying points in sobriety, no matter what you intend on quitting, it will take time, its like co-dependency where you ended someone or something to fulfill a need to make you feel whole, which can be accomplished by otherwise doing something positive for yourself, to help stabilize your mood, its usually when you are not doing things to help yourself or others, that your luck runs out, either causing harm to yourself, or others feeling harmed by your lack of care for yourself, treat you differently, at those times when you are focused on your goals in life, if not in alignment with the goals of others, there may be a questionable space to which they feel the right to question your purposes as not being for positive purpose, if you keep rehashing suicide at a meeting then yes I will run to the graveyard fence and back before a meeting in protest, as a victim of suicide, its very triggering to hear a story about someone who has lost a loved one to suicide, and not feel empathy for others, including the story teller, if the opposite was saught to occur to trigger empathy in a suicide victim for the victim, than that is testing the empathies of others, and their responses to the passing of others, if empathied with or not empathized with and by their reactions deem whether they are sympathetic of the causes for suicide of others, with or against the groups methodology, from my standpoint as someone attending a meeting twice a day for 90 days, that was offensive not a great selling point for the meeting, to have lost someone past, when the meeting is together now, in the positive, at points in the past, there may have been other triggering factors, its important not to blame bloggers or law students for their existence, and claim that my existence online or in law school spurred illness in others or to their interpretations. -Why I built a website mymollydoll.com some people just don’t know when to stop experimenting with the psyche of others … you never know who similarly may be affected by the experiments of others, myself included, and its important as on the outside not to be interpreting the actions of others, on a together note, and think maybe my response was a justified ill response to the triggering of discussions of suicide in a meeting why was it okay for someone to talk about a loss of sponsee by suicide but not okay for me to discuss my suicide.
There is no right to prosecution when you make extended efforts to intimidate any witnesses. That includes people who think they met your son before their passing, not responsible for any tv shows made to defame any persons or spread rumors about others as though they knew they were being talked $hit about about and continued to be free with their bodies drink, I was dating Rob 2007-2010 and Aaron 2010-2013, at no point was I ever deserving of being defamed or talked about in the abstract as lesser than, I was a law student then and still a law student now. Don’t then make me responsible for anyone talking poorly of me or about me, then amplifying that hate toward someone, yes that is considered hate to objectify or make look negative the image of someone and treat them as a joke, or of a lesser species in life, able to handle jokes or being made fun of especially if I’m a victim of homicide be made fun of, as though I think Im famous, and with that fame trying to become known or in the news known or be more famous than others, aware of those capabilities, that’s an unnecessary experiment, as though Im not to be used in the positive my good character, then that is something you can handle behind the scenes by saying simply who should be put on stage, shes in law school lets not put her character on stage yet, not hurt the image of someone as though theyre a gonner when theyre a successful law student, or treat someone as not deserving of success. There was another suicide, by someone who I similarly did not speak to do not remember speaking to, as a guest with other parties, friends, to whom when spoken to was probably not focused on or had a conversation with … who later committed suicide. These are not coincidences, “I think not” nor is my fault upon putting together and disclosing, for anyone to further make fun of me in a meeting or otherwise to lead me toward conclusions as spoken backward about that disclose the meeting of these two individuals who have passed, similarly my brother and my sister lose friends, due to drugs and alcohol. I disclosed specifically not in a “general way” to Bazelon for Mental Health a job interview (2011) therefore there need not be any further discussion as toward my mental health affecting others if with a blog … to have fewer incidences I would recommend taking on the task of supporting the issues around a campaign not by attacking others, as fighting causes illness, causes isolation, and affects the well being of everyone.
Whats even worse than everything you say getting repeated is when others say things for you to repeat and say, and as the words spoken through you feel a sense of empowerment over you, that’s them treating you as below them, and them feeling better than you as though you deserve suffering and or ridicule. I just relapsed had 5 beers on 03-25-19, my sober date was 04-02-17, for no reason in particular, its not instead of self-harm one self-harms but it’s in a positive way not allowing others embarrassments as toward you, can embarrass yourself, its no ones responsibility to correct your reputations in life, and drinking is never the solution for anyone who knowingly self-harms, to self-harm, not all those who self-harm who are not close to anyone, understand the consequences of self-harm and not to speak for others, only myself, its not until it is too late, that we realize the consequences of self-harm. Its for no one to judge for what reasons read or misread, and upon who is blamed for whos condition, illness occurs, that not the responsibility of the well to pick others apart, you can either participate in getting well or opt out of receiving care from others, whos care you are not under at the time you self-harm, that’s not being fake, that just opting out of receiving care from someone or a group of people you felt harmed by, that is not being permitted to run at night, on Provigil and hospitalized for 28 days for going to a meeting unshowered in a hat, talking about breakups and how breakups were causing me to not feel well. Whenever you get tired whether its from working or unwanted pressures in life either you or others put on you, never assume that it is for retaliation others hold something against you, often times once you provide defenses the side of the other is automatically taken, that’s not a fight its whatever makes people feel better is the side taken, I was hospitalized and the ER let me go home, then my Father was hospitalized, that’s not the same as 2009 when I attempted suicide and my Father was hospitalized, the times are not the same, the pressures, not the same, I had no reason to be embarrassed always a lady in public and with a positive reputation, and never an alcoholic, it is who you surround yourself with that you become a product of when using drugs or alcohol, for what reason people experience mental illness, if there has been a previous misuse of drugs or alcohol you can always credit their current hardships to their past uses, that’s just a fact of life, that peoples unhappiness’s are much to do with their poor decision making skills and that what has happened to them in life is a result of their poor decision making skills, understand that it is never the victims fault, and not wait until one becomes mentally ill to them then label them the opposite as deserving of mental illness to free oneself from blame, 2017 was the worst year of my life, and do not plan to discuss or relive that year just like 2009 #stopsuicide.