People who think they know your story, like a script will try to put you under in life, catch you off guard, and find a sense of peace and togetherness, knowing something about you, and cast you off, to be clowned on, as though youve knowingly done something wrong, or by your own uses in life, be considered at fault, being on meds, and not being able to go to Las Vegas, is why I sent my friend $200, and then decided not to go to Las Vegas, its not worth buying adderrall in order to be awake, to travel, and to enjoy a work perk. -It always happens that by the time the damage is done, going through your things thinking they've got something on you "a cocaine bag from my old house, stored in an altoid box, in my dresser drawer" not found upon being searched by the police, and later thrown in the garbage 8 months later, in a new house, does not mean I relapsed while a speaker at a meeting, on Provigil (200mg daily) taking as prescribed, and then they added a new med in the hospital Ambien (two 14 day hospital stays), and then another med (25mg) Seroquel in the Valley (and also switched to Adderrall from Vyvanse), to (50mg Hydroxyzine, 20mg Abilify, 10mg Ambien or now 100mg Trazedone). My Boss took me to a new Doctor, we got shots together. She wore a red blouse, and was recently featured in Vanity Fair, she is a Cancer Survivor too, recently hospitalized, texted me from Germany "figure it out" scared of the oncoming COVID-19 virus, prevalent in the news. apparently, but not yet known to me, in California, worried about. She is a Film Distributor. -I think the main goal is always to make things more about women from my life, than it is advantageous for anyone to make things about my own life, to better others. However, at my expense, having shared my life, and not being valued, or looked upon for insights, and treated as some "NY Accent Speaker" with a "NY Accent Story-line or By-line" who's purpose is to connect upon "stories" make people like people as though people are "characters" not allow life to happen naturally, its upon connections to stories that "characters" come back to life, through the lives of people who have lived through life long enough to know, what is them or a by-product of something they have been told, changing how they look or appear to others, together or apart. #worldpeace -Im sorry I relapsed on 1 gram #sober, while learning blogging, how to build a website, and headstart an entertainment oriented method of perfecting the times, with fashion sense "an OTIS College of Art and Design Summer Fashion Design Student," not add to negative inferences of people, professions, addictions, alcoholism, disability, success, ability, or highlight hardships or become a manifestation of something we are not: "mentally ill" or "not intelligent" whether we are bipolar "believe in things not occurring thought to be occurring" protect others from harm, based not upon ones own personal experiences alone, but based upon an understanding of wellness, the good times, when things were going well, when things are not going right, make perfect now. -"The Game is not Bauer!" K. -The only person to check on me upon going global on Twitter as mymollydoll.com back in Westwood, when I lost 50 pounds a long distance runner, 60 days/1 hr runs. To myself w/Jobs and a Boyfriend! #behappy -Happiness to me is doing well, others doing well too online, that makes me happy!
"Yesterday, the Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights issued the statement, Protecting Civil Rights While Responding to the Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19). The statement reiterates that discrimination based on race, sex, religion, national origin, disability, and other protected classes continues to be unlawful during this public health emergency. The statement also provides information on how to report civil rights violations and obtain additional civil rights resources." 04-29-20 Message Received via Email from The US Department of Justice. PLEASE NOTE: Mentioned to apply to me, currently, not in response to my past, or any incident past, as I am, in recovery.
Originally Posted 05-05-20
Those who look upon your life or successes with hate and disgust, are people who do not know you, or who judge you by poor decisions made by you, when you were not well, not strong, or weak minded, with disbelief in yourself, and without a strong outlook for your future, or for the future or your relationships with others, able to withstand either exisiting hardships in your life, or whether those hardships existed only in the lives of others, not experienced by you, it is for those reasons that respect is lost, seeing someone as a "poser" to victims, a "poser" to losses, a "poser" to beauty, a "poser" to intelligence, or a "poser" to sobriety or intelligence, as though someone is not capable of achieving without the help or assistance of having seen someone go through the process of change themselves, and recover from hardships themselves, as though only upon being directed by others, thrive, succeed, see, believe, in themselves and others. That is wrong. Don't allow the disbelief and pain of others, when is comes to their acceptances of you to complicate your life, cause you to lose your mind, or become attached to their issues with you, become less than, self-harm, injure your natural language, tone, and presence, become something youre not, worse off, or a worse version of yourself, to their benefit, chagrin, benefit, or to your own detriment, inspire, more to think similarly less of you, as though you are "not special" or "not important" or not anyone who would know better or best how to respond to difficulties in life, and set a good example to others, of how to behave and think, and not think in the negative about self or others, so hold your heads high, and do what you need to do, that inspires you to think you are better than others, whether thats "talk $hit" about people who have not lived life, "talk $hit" about people struggling who you do not think understand what struggling is, make a joke of unpaid workers "as slaves" to any organization, be looked at without "respect" or gratitude for their hardwork, and think that someone who is well is "full of $hit" or because they sound well only sounding well to make themselves feel better, this is how I respond to hate, not trying to attract attentions, but right back at you. Who are you to judge me, who are you to think less of me, who are you to cast blame on me, who are you to think I am something I am not, who are you think less of me, who are you to hate me, as though your interests, divested or not in your wellness or the wellness of others, is being affected by my output, my life, my likes, my fans, my following, or my company's ability in life, to do well, in spite of your opinion of me, thrive, and by thriving, I live life, not to your disbelief, not to your inputs, not to your interpretations, cast me as an "offender" to the best interests of others or cast me out to be someone who affects others "sexually" or is "sexually" provocative or non-compliant, until spoken about, thought about, to prove wrong is wrong on its face. Thats seeing you not with respect, as someone who is not for sex, or who was never for sex, and that because I have a female body, think that because I dont dress in a way attractive to you, or because you do not want to have sex with me, that that means Im offended by you, or think less of myself, as though I am looking well, or achieving intelligence so that someone who does not like me will want to have sex with me, or attract that type of man change them to like me. Anyone who wants better, can get better, its a free country, and if you think this website is about attracting and influencing women you are wrong its about the DYING and the DECEASED, as someone who has experienced bipolar hospitalized 9 times, Im extremely sensitive to LOSSES. Which is why Im alone, which is why I left relationships, which is why Im sober, which is why I write, not to generate attentions for "sex" for "likes" so that I can get "sex" sex is easy living is hard, and friends are easy, jobs are hard, and reputation cannot be fixed until YOU fix it. #stopsuicide <3
Originally Posted 05-07-20
HISTORY THE ORIGINS OF SPECIAL, WHEN YOUVE GOT SMARTS, BUT NOT ALONE, THEY SHINE! ----> How parents DESPECIALIZE you, "why cant you be more like Leslie!" --- Once they dont feel hurt as made fun of, think thats how to talk to someone up!" No its if you do not maintain friendships, THE WHOLE TEAM MOVES TO FLORIDA, to punish you, demote. (Y) #WHOCARES (+)
Is that WHY you cried on the AIRPLANE after hugging OJ goodbye, LEFT THEM IN FLORIDA.
If you cant make friends, and your friend, who you were close to upon a move makes friends easily but you dont, and the most popular guy picks her with an AOL account, hangs out with you because youre the neighbor, and over friend or not, wait alone, sitting by a pond, them together.
If you feel under pressure as watched, that’s because you did know you were being watched for how long watched, and not being watched openly providing information or insights based upon who you know, try to be like, or because your best friend is half black is why you think youre cool, working hard, but look stupid, because no one who loves you wants to be seen with you, that’s because they don’t want people to know they are with someone who looks like you, based upon what they learn about you, think its stupid that a picture with someone you love is important. No one cares if you are loved, all they care about is what you look like when someone is disappointed in you, and who takes a picture of you why saved in your diary someone you did not have sex with who ended up in jail to say your low class not a top pick and because you journaled and didn’t keep all your friends from high school means youre a F up or a disappointment worth shocking on her last day of school -we knew her, shes not that anymore, and why shes not that anymore, is because she got high, dumped, friendless “shady.” Lose friends, get into college, nap through free period and lunch, then soccer practice. What is leadership, good in sports, selected because athletic “seniority” why don’t you “spread the love” wanted to pick other captains, played duck duck goose at practice, what is this? Why do we have a hippie soccer coach, and the uptight runner, finally got pregnant and cried to us.
“Voted Most Shady” ---“a term of endearment” MEANING now you care UNDER A NEGATIVE LIGHT, TO BE CALLED SOMETHING YOURE NOT, LIKE YOU DIDN’T UNDERSTAND BATHROOM SELFIES, GO WHY IS SHE TAKING SEXUAL PHOTOS, BROUGHT UP TO SAY: THAT’S WHY YOU SELFIE BC ITS ABOUT “HER CONFRONTING YOU ABOUT BEING TOLD I WAS TALKING $HIT ABOUT HER” AND I WAS QUIET, THEN HAD NO FRIENDS. ---WE CALL YOU BAD NAMES, BECAUSE WE THINK YOU THINK A BAD NAME MEANS WE HAVE PROOF NOW WHEN YOU WERE MENTALLY ILL YOU COULD NOT IDENTIFY MAKE CHOICES IN LIFE LOOKED LOST A REJECT OR SOMEONE LOOKING PUT TOGETHER TO BE HOT LIKE WOMEN WERE FINALLY AT 30, WHY WAS I PUNISHED LIKE ME LOOKING FIT, MEANT I WAS CONFIDENT, FIRST TIME SKINNY ASKED FOR PHOTOS, TRYING TO BE HOT FOR AS HOT AS, NO TRYING TO BE SKINNY, NOT STOCKY, TOUGH!
THE EXPOSURE TO PHOTOS GAY DETOUR AND AFFILIATE DETOUR COST ME MY ARM AND MY MOM THOUGHT THAT I WAS UNSTABLE TANTRUMMING, GIVEN ABILIFY SHOTS! -FAT AGAIN. --- WHY DO THIS MAD "CENURY CITY PARALEGAL 1/200 APPS ACCEPTED DIDNT GET PAID" ---THIS DIDN’T WORK OUT TOLD “COME HOME RIGHT NOW!” ---LIKE ME, AND REAL BOYFRIEND LEFT!
YA RIGHT I WAS AN ADVOCATE AND THEN BECAME A VICTIM BY AGE MET TO CLAIM THAT I WASN THERE BECAUSE SEX ISSUES WERE IMPORTANT, IT WAS A 40HR TRAINING VOLUNTEER JOB, HOW TO RESPOND TO A CRISIS, NEVER LOST A CLIENT, ALWAYS THROUGH, NO TOUGH CALLS, HAD TO TALK ABOUT, OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN TEAM MEETINGS, A LOSS OF LIFE.
JUST LIKE AT HIW ALWAYS MENTIONED THE SPONSEE WHO DIED, CANT GET OVER IT.
WHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT DEATH OR REQUESTING NOT TO MENTION THE PASSING, ITS BECAUSE AS COMING FROM YOU, HURTS TO BE MENTIONED BY SOMEONE EVERYONE THOUGHT WAS INSENSTIVE BC IF SAID LIKE THIS LOOKS LIKE THIS, AS EDITED, AND WHEN SHES GONE, NOTES GONE, ITS BECAUSE IT WAS HARD WORK, ARLUKE ARTICLE READ, STUFF DOCTORS DO, HOW CAN THEY TAKE CARE AND LET GO PUT DOWN, AN ANIMAL, THE TRAUMA OF PUTTING ANIMALS TO SLEEP. HOW THE FUCK DOES "VT" APPLY TO YOU AS REVIEWING HOTLINE COUNSELORS YOU WORKED WITH, TOLD: THEN THEY DO DRUGS AND WE LOSE THEM, WHY WOULD THEY DO DRUGS, SHES STILL WORKING ON HER RESEARCH ON "COUNSELOR RETENTION" ---READ A #5 BOX OF NAROPA RESEARCH: TRANSCENDENTALISM COOL, WAS TOLD BY MY PSYCHIC YOU REALLY SHOULDNT HOLD ON TO THE DECEASED BE.LONGINGS, I THOUGHT WHY, ITS FOR RESEARCH ON TRAUMA, FROM ANOTHER SCHOOL DONATED TO US, THE AUTHOR AND PAPER WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WHO HAS PASSED. CITED
Originally Written 04-23-20