The more out there it gets, the more respect is lost, for your intelligence, that’s just how it is, only taken seriously depending upon what feeling you can provide, and respect loss in anticipation of one arriving to a feeling of frustration or negativity when once expressed, causes the other to feel light, that’s an unwanted effect, when your struggle becomes the strength to another persons ego, over how things are, were, or are now. Lets just agree that no one ever thought this hard about content, before social media happened, and it was then that content became a buzz word for attraction, as though its by what we say and how we look, that demonstrates wellness alone, whatever happened to being professional. I don’t think therefore that in the past, when I was so open about sharing along the way that it was ever about imitating other methods for rationalizing with the times, and the comforts of others, ever intended to cause discomfort, that is highlighting subjects, or trying to be like about subjects, by the same methodologies, explain myself, that I think is where others are wrong, to wait to hear what I have to say, to line up interests, or to see for themselves where things are coming from, to make things about, even if that’s not where Im coming from at all, and that’s how you waste a positive resource for coping, and making a poor example of someone who has coped well, and has never shined negative light upon others, therefore does not deserve for negative light to be shined upon me, my family or anyone I know, for that matter should not be used, to feed into whatever positives or negatives have become the driving force of an outsiders insights, to a personal struggle with image, which has improved overtime. I think a lot of positives came from not being too social, staying home and studying, wellness happened, but its also the case that when well and if others appear drained, you get punished as though you’ve not been working hard, and so if you do work hard get punished, so that you appear like you have been working hard, that’s a problem with treatment of you, everyone reaching their upper limit for acceptances with you, as though you are pushing yourself through extremes over illness, not wellness, for some people it takes a disciplined lifestyle in order to stay well, maintain wellness, and to be appreciated by others and not cause problems for others, call it meds, or defamation, Im not sure what it is at this point, keeping me from staying well, and what is it that makes others feel better, if it does not include me, means something to work on on my end, nothing to do with others, which is the condition that is trying to be caused by worsening my condition to see whether if I am not well whether I take out that frustration out of the condition of others as they appear, and that would be a waste of time, to explain myself to people who are well, and who are not doing poorly. At the heart of the subject is wellness, not gun violence, and at the heart of the matter is life expectancy, not togetherness, and at the heart of the matter is image, not fame, and at the heart of the matter is money, trust, and faith, which go hand in hand, when it comes to the later respects given to others, with regards to who they care for, and by what means entrusted to care for one another. A good idea is only good for so long as the creator of that idea lasts, that’s the misunderstanding, that someone who has arrived to a well state of mind, or who is doing well is expected to keep going in the direction they are going in, its that type of turbulence in feeling, that causes illness. When whatever you were doing that was keeping you well, is not longer suitable to keep you well if there is some force that seeks for you not to be well watching you, that’s having enemies in life, people not on your side, or people who don’t think fond of you, and think you are something less than a human being as compared to others, or responsible for any bad luck faced by others, as though I too have not suffered, not street at all, not street smart, and not that tough. Im a very sensitive person, and you should be glad that I am a sensitive person and report often, that doesn’t mean that Im deprived of love, not until another has announced to the world, that Im some kind of slut TV show (TV Show: Apt B216, my apartment number), and then pass guilt to me, to see if I die suicidal to demonstrate guilt, which to say, is just making things worse for whoever pushed me in a good way, and good things became of me, to cause me illness, and to state a negative, to then watch me suffer again. This is why Im marrying my Ex, because no one respects me, no one value me, no one trusts me, no one sees my potential, no one values what Ive been through, no one cares how Im feeling, no one believes in me because of what meds Im on, and no one will let me live a good life, as single.
Just called to report, the wellness, speaking in wellness, to sudden illness, not feeling well speaking to negatives, this is something you cant argue your way through illness, you either speak well or you dont.
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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