It doesn’t matter where you have worked, that cant stop bad interpretations of your life as lived from happening, not if no one is on your side, or speaking in support of you, instead for others. If you have lived a difficult and challenging life, then you would understand the importance of what is said and how it is said, it just may be the determining factor for what you go down for in history, which moment defines you, its not always your choice. And although there may be times when you are losing your battle with mental health issues, respect, and feeling like you belong anywhere for that matter, the less time you spend on improving the worse things get for you politically, there will always be negative judgment past whenever you seem as though you are someone who does not value yourself, or make decisions for the wrong reasons. What makes a fierce advocate? I think first of you have to keep your side of the street clean, you cannot change the way people feel about you, and you have to respect the decisions of others, based upon whether they can accept you as apart of their life, reasons for delay, and what happens in between the time spent with someone you love and admire, made to feel differently about yourself, you cant always take love advice from people who don’t respect your dating style or the standards of your relationships with men, always as described, based on what it ever was, people will try to convince you that you can do better, or not be enthusiastic about your choices in life, not seem like a good fit, and you cant go on waiting either, and if you ever lower your standards based upon anything else going on in the world, then that will the same standard that others will treat you as, not accepting you on the basis of where you have been, who you have been with, job status, social status, political ideologies, and correspondences. When does it become your responsibility to help? I think when you represent an issue, not that anyone is territorial to what matters to them, not in a defensive way care, or intervene, but on the basis for who is being represented along with any other vocalizations concerning private interests. I don’t think that books, work in terms, or negotiating with any opposition in life, and calling them may not be the solution either, to figure out on what basis, is anyone so confirmed that they are doing what is right, when things are going well, hurt the definition of what it means to represent your own country, ideals, or even what the reputation of any tech app or tv show, have anything to do with how people are made to feel who then become associated via what is brought up and ongoing in the news at the moment, advocacy provided for. There will always be risk so long as issues are compounded, maybe why I took my “World Peace” page down and video, it doesn’t really seem to explain why I was writing in that tone or for what reasons personal empathized with, and if it can be regarded as something that’s not helping, or influential in a positive way, then the meaning has been lost, along with the purpose for sharing at that point in time what I was thinking about in life and in quiet reflection about. Coming forward is not easy, its not easy when you have done nothing wrong, and have been made to feel as though you have done something wrong, so helping a situation is hearing from the other side, without giving your power away to anyone else, to determine what are the issues pressing that is affecting everyone, whats personal, and who is being made to serve as a representative figure to anyones clients. There was one file at work that said “Stormy Daniels” and that was with a “Trump” pen pal that I was then separated from at work, phone taken to the other room, I don’t text at work but was receiving messages from. I don’t think messenger or any text messaging forum is suitable for sexual relations, I think it’s a simple space to share your feelings and ideas, your goals and dreams, your worries, share a little bit about yourself, and keep things friendly, not a way to communicate your fears, explain your disability, or be controlled by anyone on a daily basis, or be forced to comply to any standards in order to continue talking with anyone, who becomes disinterested in you, there will always be reasons for people losing interest in you, and it will mostly have to do with your own wellness, and how you present yourself, people will want to know you, maybe even support you, but that does not mean that they will continue to respect you, or say anything to serve your best interests at a later point in time, no one who is not in your life, can represent you, be your spokesperson, or explain to others how you are, or why you are the way that you are, and if you are someone like me who is protecting the best interests of a company, or a brand, or an organization committed to helping people to make the right choices in life, then you would understand your own professional responsibility, to not be thrown into the mix, of who has presented a problem, and not served the best interests of those they have sought to represent in the positive, even if you are not included as a member to any of that good luck in life or good fortune, there will always be bigger, better, smarter people than you in life, don’t let anyone intimidate you, or convince others that you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing in life, or be blamed as being a source of embarrassment to anyone, and allow others who later come into your life, to situate themselves similarly based on something you have said, that they have interpreted in the negative or feel gives them the go ahead, to injure, harm, misrepresent, bully, coerce, intangle, disable, ridicule, or subject you to prosecutions in life, based upon a representation of you, that was directed under threat to comply with, to stop future harm being done to you. That’s the main lesson, you cannot negotiate with someone who is trying to overpower you, or put you down in life, ruin your career, interrupt your psyche, cause you mental disturbance, self harm, or subject you off into a vague political sphere of insults and derogatory humor and company names and references to designate you as someone who is not the bringer of luck, but compare you to any figure historical pass, who they have come to identify you as in what they thought was from the goodness of their heart, not specifically stated to you in your face, but overheard in the form of voices, that’s someone not on your team in life, who thinks that your legal education, location of school, suicide attempt (2009), medications, dating history, breakups, tantrums, self-harm, self-injury, is about people not understanding you, your struggle trying to get a job, and also be viewed as someone who does not act with care and careful attention to the issues in an educated way do their best to present what in their mind is of importance of value, whether or not there is a consequential component, or direct connection between something I have seen or experienced in life, connected to any other bad experiences in life or sufferings. That’s the misunderstanding of judging someone who is trying to help and presents themselves and does what is right, whether or not they are cued by others, who mostly try to intimidate you and convince you that you are guilty of something, and that’s when others are spacey, and you are sharp, is when you generally leave situations that seem disorganized, and to not draw attention to anyone during those moments, or indecision, or uncertainty, and that’s the point of communication, never do anything as a surprise, and never say anything without thinking things through, and never speak to anyone of importance, unless your not guilty, and anyone elses attitude toward you in life, is for personal reasons, become unavailable or busy. People expect you to stay in place, and that gives some people control over you, maybe not all other outcomes in life, but if things are not getting better, than to me that means that a change needs to be made in my life, not give up, I honestly don’t think I have time to learn an entire new profession, why I started applying for law jobs again and finished law school. If studying law was something that I was passionate about and loved, and felt a tremendous amount of peace with, then that is where I do best in law school, or focusing on my academics. If not one respects your story, or anone who has read your story without authorization as to the causes for your suicide attempt (2009) then that’s them studying you without your permission, before publishing your book. So something not mentioned was mentioned and a column put in my book with a graph paper, my first self-published book. Don’t blame me for Aurora, don’t blame me for school shootings, don’t blame me for being Jewish, don’t blame me for reporting to the US Supreme Court, don’t blame me for calling the Boulder DA, the Oklahoma DA, and the Texas DA, just recently OK and TX. It has gotten out of hand, there is not such thing as a cover up, I don’t have an attorney to talk to about my issues, or the voices I get, I only have a therapist to talk to, and I became a member of Brady, out of the goodness of my heart, because I wanted to put my good name to good use, and that was my choice. What causes death? When people fall ill due to addiction, and drugs, that hurts everyone, that’s also not the cause for more death or more sickness, even if you think the same way as they do, even if you understand their story, even if you empathize with their families, even if you know more than the general public knows about specific people, their motivations, causes for support, and social associations in life. You cannot blame someone for a dress the wore in Las Vegas (2008) by the Olsen Twins, or the only black heels available at Saks, Christian Louboutin. If its an epidemic, then its not for study for why it occurs or how it occurs, that’s the bottom line, and you don’t blame peoples identities, associations, distant relationships, connections, knowledge of identities, or reputation, as the problem, or the cause for anyone else manifestation of hate and violence in life, don’t situate someone who is education, performed well in school, makes friends easily, does not have a hard time finding a date, or dating in general, who lives alone, and studies, and runs everyday, trying to stay fit, its my face and my body, and if I am proud of myself, then that’s why I only took less than 10 pictures the entire time. When someone puts you down in life, that’s to blame you for things they have not said, without telling you, and thinking that that will not affect you, even if held by people you don’t know and opinion of you you cant hear, its an energy, of distrust, and that distrust eventually adds up to action, and those actions are then taken from someone who carries a negative judgement within them, and that energy carries over to people around them, why its important not to get rallied up or intense about people in life, what people think, or even waste time and energy persuading others or even yourself, that what you are feeling is real in a negative way or in turn be made to accuse anyone else of being the provider of that instability and energy that is causing you torment, or not to feel like yourself confident. So that’s an uneven exchange in life, usually resulting from a lack of clarity, and so long as you remain in that condition, it can get worse, the less you are able to say, and the more fear is instilled upon you, to disclose everything that feels like that feeling, to see if you have done anything wrong, if you have ever been scared, if you have ever felt disempowered, if you have ever felt used, if you have ever failed, if you have ever struggled, if you have ever needed help, if you have ever been not believed, or if you have ever been a source of shame or embarrassment to anyone, at whatever level of intelligence you arrived to or didn’t arrive to, and based upon what you have said past not a good enough try at presenting the best version of yourself.
#trust #stopschoolshootings #mentalhealth #heros #influencers #feelings #negativejudgments
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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