Its getting to the point where if I cant help myself, I cannot help others, let alone work for anyone, and if I am not speaking properly, then I will not be understood or misunderstood as having a quality or trait within, that’s dark, or does not see in the positive, and if that cant be figured out, then opening up doesn’t help if you’ve ever been scared, that will not better a situation in which anyone is not sure of you, and if anyone is not sure of you, it by what they think, or by what you say, is your writing, normal, or are you going through something new, and if you cant explain what youre going through, then that would cause to not connect, and to also not make sense to anyone, who did not see you in that way, wanted you to be well. Its then a matter of getting well, you can do everything everyone asks of you, and you can not do well not doing anything or you can get sick doing something, writing is only helpful when you are reflecting on life in a way that sounds smart to someone else, past the point of not feeling good, then everythings a risk, everyone doesn’t feel good, you don’t feel good, and we don’t need to allow for anything or anyone to not feel good about their choices, or who they are and how they look, that cannot be forgiven when people are made to look or feel stupid, means that they feel harmed, and if they don’t recognize you as someone who has been harmed then no later condition past the point of others not feeling well, will make any difference if you get sick and cannot correct the problem, causes others to question whether you are helping or not. Voices which I cannot solve, causes me to also think about anothers ability to hold a set of ideas in mind, and based upon their likes feel good or not feel good, and this is why some people are fun to be around, look at, and some are not so fun to see or hear from, they think means that they are bad, so if you don’t feel good and cant make anyone else feel good, then what explains having nothing not being able to move forward, I acknowledge that the stage was high on inauguration day I was sick that day in bed, I also understand that I recently acknowledge a bad decision by a climber who forgot to tie a knot, and felt that was relevant to staying well I know that mental health issues are not that deadly, but there are simple things you can do to stay well, so because I acknowledged that incident, it now becomes a matter of what is anyone communicating to or about, and what is governing how people feel, if its based on what they are told, then there will be nothing special about someone, who is admired who is not, there is also a noticebale change when leadership, or figures of strength, are made to feel weak or sick, and that’s not them becoming powerless not deserved, could also mean that the power is in the people, usually expecting leadership, or a strong character or figure to make them feel protected or out of harms way, and if harm results to who was proud of you, then whos fault is that for everyone who did care, and then feels like they are being subjected to looking small or feeling stupid, and that’s when its time to stop, once the harm is occurring, and not take chances as though that harm can be fixed, so whatever team won, that’s the team controlling, so all later reactions and statements are working toward reinforcing that team deemed as the stronger team, the team not affected, not struggling, not sick, and that may not also equal a win. I don’t talk about others, Ive never complained, but if I am having difficulty with my own voices, and if I cannot make myself feel good, sitting and thinking about a problem will not make things better, nor will shining spotlight on anyone else, if you make a mistake its my loss, and the mistakes you make in life concerning your reputation you live with for the rest of your life, and that enables bullying or anything to see what causes you to trip out or sound stupid, and you also have to live with those moments too of not making sense, and others either ignoring you, pretending to be mad, seeing you get weaker, seeing you scared, or claim to have something on you not shared with the courts, then you open everyone up to an unnecessary pain, opening people up is not how you help them get strong again, it causes a pain to anyones heart, who has never talked about lfie in that way, then wants to hear what you have to say, through a lens put on you by causing you pain or fear, to see what you have to be ashamed about, feel sorry for, or have recognized, if things are not working for you mentally, it will be hard for things to work out for you spiritually, so don’t give up, less is more, and learn to quit while youre ahead, beginning from the moment of others not being okay with you writing, or not seeing the opportunity through your writing, and that much you have to respect, so although the house got decorated, and everyone thought that was funny, that hurt the spirit of everyone minding their own business, so this is about whats the publics right and what do you have a right to keep private, whats tolerable input, and whats hurting the source of input and why. Based on handwritten books or medical records, that’s no reason to hurt someone or treat anyone like their life is stupid, or anyone not being examined, also can get hurt. So once the harm has been done, means that I cannot undo the harm, if anyone is blaming me for being sexual or loving, or nice to the wrong people, and I don’t also deserve to be attacked, as though I was knowingly doing anything wrong talking to someone, which turned into this imaginary conversation, that you don’t recognize and by the time you are hurt notice everyone affected by your imaginary conversation, without any input about your struggles, leave people strong, and that’s all you can do, if Im not of value, that’s a problem too, to be seen, look stupid.
Originally Posted 03-09-21
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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