Next post, being interviewed for medication detox rehab. Supervised treatment center to be taken off all meds, and be monitored, just like 2011, taken off all meds. I took Provigil 2017 and did fine at a job in Insurance.
Just referred out to a Mental Health Residential 30 day Program (not a rehab): Past the point of being well, its really hard to rebuild your life, I think I was a good example of someone who continues to move forward, seeks treatment, and doesn’t complain about anything personally occurring for them in life, Ive never ever thought it was about anyone else, whenever I have not felt well, if its something I cant figure out on my own, I always get help, I have never been anyone to keep anything to myself, or struggle alone with any problem, not seek help. I think past the point of punishment, its already been deemed something is your fault, and then you get punished for the rest of your life, treated as though you do wrong, or do not recognize what you have done wrong, and that is how you get treated for the rest of your life, people testing you, people whatever with you, people thinking you want something from them, people looking at you trying to figure out what is wrong with you, or people being cold to you, as though you have done something wrong to them, or treat you as though you know them, or everyone knows you, or everyone knows something about you they are not okay with, and that’s being punished. It’s a really tough uphill climb and you have to do everything right, even if its set in stone, that doesn’t mean its about you, but if its something that bothers you, then it will be something taken into account, as being about you, or a truth. Who is responsible for making truths in life, its half of what you say and half of what you do makes a truth, and everyone will always be entitled to seeing you as being of value, special, or not so special, and that’s peoples right in believing in themselves and it really has nothing to do with you, Ive never had to talk so much in my life, for any reason whatsoever other than a final exam in Law School. Im not a quick thinker, a sudden decision maker, or impulsive, I think past the point of voices, your tolerance for pain, or for ridicule really gets the best of you, and that’s being treated as though you have a condition you expose others to, carrying disease, or stupidity, or a poor influence, and there is really nothing you can do about it. When there is something wrong with you, you will feel it, and everyone will be okay with you, supportive, but you will not know why or for what reasons you have changed or not strong, and that’s within you, to get your confidence back, be sure of yourself, not unsure of others, or your future for that matter. So don’t be too hard on yourself, don’t self-harm, its okay to be stupid, no one cares unless, you make a big deal and complain, then that’s how things get worse, blown out of proportion so move on, report, and stay healthy. The pain that sets in is you not happy with yourself, so don’t push yourself too hard, you don’t have to be that smart to work and live life, but you cant be stupid, or be too strong, make mistakes in life, that includes breakups, hookups, drinking, or people losing respect for you. -So be a balanced thinker, act your age, be honest, and do your best to be independent!
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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