This draft was originally posted on 11-28-20. Re-posted on 01-20-21. This work is of value to me, and was an important document to make, to archive my work online, in the event of loss or destruction, also to keep track of my writing, whats been reviewed by me, left unchanged, to make sure that there is a PDF copy of my work, to ensure that my work has not been tampered or changed not to my knowledge, a draft approved by me, for review. I understand that my current settings may make it difficult to review my work, and understand that a PDF version of my work, makes it easier to search for terms, and to review at ones own leisure, creating an archive of my work is something that makes men feel good, and is a work that I am proud of, and removal of a work of value to me from my website, does not mean that it is trash, or an unimportant piece of literature created by me. There will always be rules and standards to follow to get a copyright and earn the rights to own your work and be protected by the law for your work completed, I dont think a copyright is a tool for limiting influence that if already occurring, a copyright cannot change, what is seen as being of value to some, and not of value to others. If Im ever hesitant, its probably because I am not comfortable, Ive never not been someone to not share a completed work that Im proud of, if its something Im still working on with editors, then that means I am still in the process of reviewing what has been sent back to me, and make sure that it is in my own words, sometimes editors will test for your abilities in life, a book is something that you focus on and work toward completing, its not something you write in one swoop, it takes many drafts and many submissions of uncompleted work, that then with the help of editors get assembled to make a book out of the writings you have provided, just because its work left unfinished, does not mean that I do not plan to finish writing a book and publish a self-help book one day. I think online it later became an issue sharing personal details which I dont do in book writing, so thats sharing my story, and then defeating the purpose of having a pen name, and not being made to talk about subjects that hit close to home, or subjects that others find excitement in piecemealing, that dont however benefit my feelings of stability or ensure my safety needs are met, that occurs when talking about things in life you know less about. So while my identity may be special, the minute you come across as not recognizing that you are special, can leave others in a state of misunderstanding, not knowing why you are not feeling well or what are the causes for you not feeling well, expecting you to do well, based upon your energy and tone in writing, all sharing can be very taxing on your physical and mental health, there will be many unwanted pressures in life, which you generally can only handle so long as you are comfortable with yourself, when you are not comfortable, that can result in others worrying, or not being sure about you, and should you fail to represent the issues with clarity, then it will be inquired as to what has been shared, what has been taken down, and hopefully not be viewed as not of value to you, so thats being diplomatic, thats not giving your life away or whats of value to you away with the intent of being devalued or experince a defeated sense of purpose while writing, that get swayed by a public opinion of you, to say you are someone who does not recognize their own self-worth, or who allows people to devalue them. I dont think I allow anyone to hurt me, and Im sure as a writer, you can get hurt upon publishing unfinished work, and having it not be a complete draft or ready for publishing, there is always time to wait, the lesson is never to allow yourself to subject yourself to becoming devalued, sharing unfinished work, or being made to look like writing is easy for you, and continuous, like you have another life story that can be told again, or any differently past the point of not feeling well, thats writing, it sounds good when you are well and it doesnt sound good when you are not feeling well, you are the person you describe in your writing, exemplify the person who completed the work, and made their very best effort to finish a book, or you get made to not appear as who you are in writing, sound different, so thats a matter of matching physically and mentally, to your own finished work product, and that much about life, you cannot predict, what you will sound like if you get hurt and what you get made to talk about differently in the event your life changes, or perspective, or option in life, change.
Removed: Working on submitting my first copyright. (01-24-21)
Removed: Copyright PDF (02-04-21) - Its Work of Value to Me. Copyright Office: Submit one post, for starters.
[Removed] 09-03-20 [Privacy}.
Put Back: 11-04-20
Removed 01-13-22 @11:26am
Update: I am still editing my first book and need to pay for publishing. Thank you for your patience, and was willing to share my progress, I am working very hard to be a professional writer one day. This is my best work, I have paid thousands of dollars on editing fees, to assemble my first book. Its a lot of pressure these days, to write and look the part, and represent well what it is you are writing about, be able to live the life you have written about, and not fall short of expectations of you, to have been able to apply what you know to your own life, and achieve positive results. 2020 has been my best year yet in a long time, 2017 was my worst year hospitalized three times, and again in 2019, its been a very difficult journey, to staying active, getting jobs, and not be in bed all day comatose, struggling with voices and bipolar episodes, which have since gone into remission, less symptomatic. For anyone new who has not witnessed my journey to self-improvement, maybe doesnt appreciate the fact that I struggle with mental health issues on a daily basis, which has made it difficult to live life, and blogging has been the best job for me, a place where I can shine, and present my best work. It has taken me 8 years of being online, to finally develop into the writer I am today, comfortable, and able to speak in public, without fear or intimidation or hearing ridicule, it has taken 8 years to be in full acceptance of myself without fear of the future or ability to get jobs, to then have opportunities to present themselves to me, be able to work with other people, and be comfortable talking about my work online as a blogger. You do through many stages of coming out of your shell, and its that comfort with yourself, and love for your own well being that makes you someone worth knowing. Not many can appreciate the life you have lived, and your struggles, thinks that everything comes easy in life, not to me, I have worked so hard this year, writing everyday, to get my stats up, and its not been without a fight, calling judges, filing police reports, and now speaking to a detective. No one deserves to have their story be changed, or wrongfully affected by anyone injecting themselves into your life, with expectation of reward or some type of benefit from your achievements in life.
*Copy of my last draft put back up 12-14-20
Shared on 11-26-21 and removed on 12-12-21
To-Do: Edit book and prepare book for publishing.
This is my current project turning my manuscript into two books. To Start: February 2020.
Thank you for your patience.
Sincerely, Leslie A. Fischman
Published on Website (only): 03-07-19
Edit: Draft without tampering displayed 01-13-20.
Chapter 110: Leaving Solitude by #lesliefischman
You can only be yourself. You cannot worry about people trying to be you for political purposes or not. When in a relationship that causes loss of self-esteem to be lied to or put down just learn to let things go. If everything you say gets spoken then worry first about what you say not allow others to get inside your head worry you or others about you. They will always say things to discomfort you don’t allow others to cause harm to your psyche and sense of well being. Don’t allow the past to hear as stated now taunting you. Just stay positive and learn to let things go not get tired looking back. You can’t change the past best you can do is move forward presently.
Stay focused on your goals in life don’t go backwards trying to fix your past you only get hurt moving forward. Always do your best to be kind to others, not lead people astray in life, in your natural language do your best to communicate always not misuse your gifts in life.
Learn to let go of your misgivings in life and play by the rules for accolade. You cannot get far in life self-harming you only do yourself and others a disservice when you succumb to the weaknesses of others in place of your own values in life know your best and stick to that.
When you know your best all else falls into place dont play up to the weaknesses of others as for your own good not to be foresaken. When you do not get the approval of others that simply means to try harder in life for acceptance youcan’t reverse the consequences of non-acceptance
Once you’re done you’re done. At that point you have to focus on you’re health people like healthy people that’s how to do and know best, not basing decisions making your best decision making skills off the actions of words of others as toward you, for you, or against you.
When you feel better about where you’re going and where your headed in life all else tends to fall into place. Having a clear picture of who you are is key to getting what you want in life whether that’s love, success, or both. Nothing comes easy in life.
By the time you wake up you have to start living life. No one can live life for you. You just have to keep moving forward.
It’s by what you connect to that affects your sense of being. Whether it be by a wanted or unwanted connection you just have to be in acceptance of all. Life is beautiful, it only gets ugly if you allow the negatives to fester and wound you. Don’t let up hope, always pray for better days ahead, how to make now worthwhile not side stepping or going backwards into harms way.
Across the stormy waters the billowing sails of deceit we know few who with sound might transcend to the doubtful few what becomes of matters few. #davidspade #advocacy #mymollydoll #victims #stopsuicide
Life is not perfect. At times it will feel like nothing’s coming together for us. Always have patience that there are good things ahead.
You can’t go backwards in life once you make a mistake you have to live with those mistakes. You can’t go on trying to fine tune yourself through reliving those mistakes in life you have to build better habits for yourself moving forward that help you live life positively not driven toward ends in life, by sides, or for clarity of purpose, you know you best. Life is much too short to worry what others think they are mostly concerned with themselves.
You can’t go through life going backwards through your problems. Eventually you get tired. Life’s much too short to worry what people think, in acceptance of you or not. Moving forward, think what is it that I can do better in life. How could I have lived life differently. Just be appreciative of who you are and where you’re going in life. Be comfortable with yourself.
Discomfort is not an easy feeling to handle, affecting our decision making at times. Just pace yourself -rushing into anything is never a good idea when moving forward from an otherwise painful position in life. Sometimes you just have to make due with where you’re at in life whether or not your happy with where you are in life, for better or worse.
You are your canvas in life, paint your life as you see best fit for you, always be in control of your emotions no one can control you only if you allow others to affect you will they have an effect on you. Know you best and stick to that. You cannot be well until you achieve well in life. Nothing gets better without you in life, once you start seeing better everything will pan out whether or not in your favor in alignment with your values and choices in life is how your life will be looked at by others, in spite of your mistakes, in spite of your pitfalls, well or not a quiet acceptance of you will take place, blend in.
We are all mentally challenged in our own way, sensitive to our own needs as well as the needs of others. When we feel like ourselves we do best, and when we don’t feel well left to our own devices the strong either make it or are broken by the loneliness that that time brings in despair. Always do your best to exercise sound decision making skills and do your best, what is asked of you may not always bring you happiness but it is through the pleasing of others we find acceptance with or without people in our lives. Be at peace with yourself and the window of opportunity for change for the better this becomes limitless.
You should never trash yourself. The only person you hurt is yourself. Know when to stop. Whenever you receive love and acceptance from others is time to step back see what you can do better, and with a kind ear always listen.
Never let a thought pass you by without acknowledging that thought. In other words as a writer when you have a thought write it down. It’s when thoughts are lost, we go blank, trying to back track but one thought less. Thoughts build upon eachother. Knowing that, like a conversation with yourself, speak, then your thoughts will figure themselves out for you. You don’t have to think of others to understand them just always be yourself, not allow others to affect your thoughts about you.
It’s not helpful when you are not doing well to hear about others doing well in spite of your misfortunes in life. You just have to keep going in life. Whether others work off your material or not is not your responsibility to judge. Always focus on yourself, and from that place all other good will follow. When you are in your place in life, judgment will not follow, when you are out of place in life judgment follows. That’s how life works by judgments passed. Is how you get judged moving forward as put together or not, or good enough for follow. Otherwise no credit is given to not well and proven otherwise an unlikely fit. Knowing this always do your best to fit in when working well with others, stand out when you can, but never more or less than you deserve, receive attentions from others.
Don’t let anyone bring you down in life. Often times people with problems try to make their problems our problem. Just allow the dust to settle and things to fall into place. Fighting is not the solution to your problems.
Forgiveness is key whenever we feel at a loss for words, when something’s not right, or when we feel another is in error passing judgment upon us or others -the only way to reverse that opinion is to rise above. Don’t allow others to get the best of you in life, always express sound judgment upon self and others when trying to put you yourself or others back together again. Blame is a one way street, once you get started it keeps going. Figure out what you know best and stick to that.
Know your limits in life don’t test the limits of others and always be kind to those who love you back, be patient.
Always do your best no matter what. There's no telling how things will turn out for you in life if you are negative toward yourself or others. You just have to stay positive. With that more positives in turn will occur for you in your life. What turns people off is neediness, always express sound judgment when in conversation with others to whom you confide in for advisement. Thats at best you can do to turn your life around. Not allow others to hinge on negatives about you, just stay positive, and allow things to fall into place without forcing things to occur for you in life allow life to happen on its own.
Look from within when in doubt. You never know what’s on the other side of failure unless you try. No one can put together you without you knowing what’s been put together without you. You are always in charge of your life don’t allow others to get the best of you cause you illness in perspective. You have to do well to achieve well in life not get hurt by the commentary made by others about you to your face. Don’t get nervous on your way up to anything in life always keep a clear conscious about yourself not allow others to hurt your sense of self or self esteem.
We don’t know everything and that’s okay. Life is a learning process, requiring continuous improvement in order to do better in life. Don’t let anyone get the best of you. Just stay calm and everything should fall into place for you in your life.
Always trust you instincts, they matter when at the top of any decision making processes, that require you to have learned from your mistakes so that you can make better decisions for yourself. Don't sell yourself short in life always stay positive.
Always be positive toward self and others you never know what anyone is going through in life. Be just as patient with others as you are yourself you cannot control the direction of people’s lives you can only at best be a guide to others or shoulder to lean on. Be kind to yourself and others as you develop your careers in life nothing happens overnight.
Don’t let anyone get the best of you. When hurt or afraid of what people think it’s easy to get worked up over image and nonsense. Always do your best to not only share how you’re feeling when you’re not feeling good but also remember to listen when you’re not feeling well. One can only get better with time, and the more positive you are the better off you’ll be over time.
There will always be mistakes in life it’s a matter of getting through those errors in life without regret. It’s hard to live a perfect life. You jus have to do the best that you can at living life. You can’t be the best at everything, but keep going in life. New opportunities present themselves for you when you keep trying not by going backwards living in regret.
Never take anything in life too personally. It’s not all about you unless you make it so. Always do your best to rise above. Think before you speak and react to circumstances outside of your control. You can’t make change happen unless you’re willing to change first.
You can’t go backwards to fix your past you just have to move forwards, forgive yourself for your mistakes in life and forgive others for theirs. Having a good head on your shoulders means not allowing people to get under your skin voices or not affect your best decision making always know right from wrong -don’t get led astray by negativity or the thoughts of others toward you, or against you. You know best, life is short of long depending on how you spend your time, be wise, be smart, let go more often.
Don’t let anyone get the best of you. You won’t always hear what you want to hear. That doesn’t mean they don’t care if what they say upsets you it just means that you need to validate your own emotions not expect validation from others.
You can convince yourself of anything if you try. It’s all a matter of staying positive not allowing people to hurt your sense of self or self-esteem.
Ch 108 (Not Included in Book) for #leverageyourstory (Part 1)
It’s important not to pass judgment on others as reading through their lives add to the pain. Understand people but you don’t have to empathize with everyone. That only leads to inner turmoil when looking from the outside pass judgment reading as to their insides or present state. That judgment can be felt by the writer who always does their best to communicate well their thoughts. Writing isn’t easy, and it doesn’t need to include fighting or cause discomfort. We are all educated as to our ideas of what life should be like however we all lead different lives.
Sometimes too much negative judgment hurts looking back it’s better not to share then run the risk of negative judgment. It takes awhile to open up to people and share writers are not the most outgoing people everyone is different. Allow people to come forward and share their story when they’re ready not force arrivals upon people who have not yet arrived still getting comfortable in their own skin. That’s not the way to treat people on the inside of any big story, learn to be appreciative of what they do share and be mindful of their spaces in life. You cannot relate to what’s broken or ill you just have to accept people the way they are not overexpose people to ideas about them or about others try to paint a different picture about them. It’s not easy to achieve notoriety you have to be smart to be well received. Working on my smarts right now reading Fire and Fury, Read: Unbelievable, The Making of #donaldtrump, and You Are Here (June 2018). Goal: Read 4-5 Books this Month. #books #reading Stay positive!
Having a meaningful life means not worrying what other people think about you and doing what needs to get done.
We don’t always know what to do. We can do our best and still not be good enough but that doesn’t mean quit doing what you’re doing to get better at where you are or get to better places in life. Just always do your best. “You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone.” Lyrics to an #erykahbadu song. Just stay in the present moment with whatever you have in life and find time to value where you are now. The hey days may be long gone but that doesn’t mean the good times have yet to come. Just enjoy life whether or not it’s a good time always find time to give thanks to others for where you are now, each day gets better when you appreciate and value you now.
Get motivated work on your motivations in life to complete projects get your rhythm back it’s not being secretive it’s having a system and sticking to that system of organization that matters most work on self talk not talking to others as you assemble your ideas that’s how to manage your sense of privacy not everything needs to be in the moment shared with someone else most of all you should care about yourself only share the good with others don’t enable others to test for whether you’re good or not based on their assumptions of you not do well
Always think for yourself. Its important to think positive thoughts when things are not going well for you in life that’s how you stay on a positive tangent out of harms way. Sometimes putting negatives together can cause illness, don’t get worked up over negative happenings in life. These are just symptoms of the present, nothings uncertain about life it’s how you live life that matters most.
You can’t plan out life, not even your future by connections you just have to live life as best you can and when you meet others always do your best to #beprofessional. That requires an understanding of the risks and knowledge of the consequences of interaction. When you know right from wrong everything falls into place. We don’t need to know everything to do well in life just #bestrong. No one is psychic enough to prevent things from occurring but we should all be well enough to be accepting of those who cross our paths in life. #michaelavenatti
Live life as perfectly as you can you’ll thank yourself later for it. We all make mistakes in the process of making important decisions sometimes come off too strong in the process of explaining where we’ve been and where we’re headed in life. Success doesn’t come easy to those who are manipulative dependent on reactions from others in order to succeed. So keep your head down, stay focused, and don’t let anyone take your power away. #bestrong
It’s unusual to think that others are thinking of you and making decisions based upon how you live your life. That would be selfish to think that people are about you in life. Allow others to be independent of you. That’s how trust is built not by co-dependency. Learn to forgive often and trust those who trust you. That’s how to build trust. When it’s needed relationships are severed. Let them come to you. That’s how to build likeability. #Trust
Don’t get worked up over the little things in life. We can only be made stronger by listening to others when we are weak and by learning to fall, learn from our mistakes, and be brighter moving forward about ourselves. Life is not simple but it doesn’t need to be hard.
No loss is inevitable. In the stream of subconscious ideations it’s what we think that matters most not what other people think. There’s a range of guilty emotions you feel when you empathize with someone who’s harmed you, don’t give in to those feelings, know your best and stick to that. No one can make you do things you don’t want to do in life to cause you embarrassment. You have to be yourself regardless what people think of you stick to what you know best about you and others.
Love comes from within. You cannot dictate the actions of others toward you you just have to accept people the way they are with or without you do well in life.
Where you are in life you matter. It’s not all together self-evident when we are in the wrong just do your best to stay healthy and despite the opinions of others do well. Not all ideas take off, that’s the argument, whether one is like the other and why. Just be strong. #12pullups2ndGrade
Know yourself well enough to know when to stop. You need to know your limits in life in order to do well for yourself and others. Be concerned about the health of others but not to the extent that you feel a loss of control. That loss of control feeling is based upon your personal outlook in life needs to stay positive.
Ch. 106 - Desktop Computer - Dell
I think that transitions in life are the hardest part. But once you get going things seem to work out. Hard to go backwards. Learn to forgive.
We have all been harmed. In life we protect ourselves not by allowing the harm to reoccur why distance myself. #stigma
To have no enemies in life requires tact and self restraint to know wrong from rights as well as ones own weaknesses not bestow onto others.
The moment we give up in life and take two steps back are when we need friends the most, make the most of your life when lost hop on Twitter!
Life goes on do not blame others for your misfortunes in life shortcomings or hardships you are always a product of the choices you make.
What is required is only that we learn from our mistakes continue to improve and always apply ourselves when down to come up again.
In life you have two choices (1) move forward never look back (2) sit and ruminate make amends go through your inventory.
Love requires maintaining composure when lost love is lost power always stays with the rock in any relationship nothings forgiven off putting.
We find hope and strength when lost when we stick to our strengths and not lean on peers who exude the strengths that bring out out weaknesses.
We are only as strong as those around us never stronger than what any one person can achieve but can achieve a great many things as one unit.
When in Rome, build with your strength of character not build upon strengthening weaknesses and you will shine from your best work not at your worst.
Moral turpitude the loudest of roars underneath the billowing sails of deceit the wretched drones of melancholy despair enthusiasm behoved.
Written by #lesliefischman (2015)
Leslie A. Fischman
Please Note: I have finished writing the first draft of my first book, still editing Ch 13-25, my goal is to publish my book 2020 after I graduate, working on myself right now.