By: Leslie A. Fischman
You cant turn back, and erase what has been said, what has been done, and what has been thought, but there is always time to move forward. And as you grow and become a healthier stronger person, more resilient to life’s stresses, during any course of events in life, you’ll make sure to do a better job of being professional, even when its not expected of you. I have my parents to thank, for their continued efforts to support me, no matter what my condition was, no matter where I was headed in life, no matter what I had to say, always accepted me back into their lives, and welcomed my speedy recovery and always believed in my ability to overcome bipolar, without them, I would be lost.
Some people correct you at your worst, especially those no longer in your lives, and the more you interpret as being about you, the worse off you look and become in the eyes of any later audience, as having inherited a mental health issue associated with thinking things are about you, and for those reasons, let go, abandoned, ignored, or left alone to figure out life for yourself, absent minded their best efforts to wake you up from your suffering, your delusions, and your setbacks, no one can tell you when its time to return from failure, that’s your job to forgive yourself, and when the time is right, put yourself back together again, and say youre sorry, and hope that others will be accepting of a more improved version of yourself, whether you are famous, well known for good or bad, and make better the previous concerns held by others, without reservation feel like they did the right thing setting you straight in life, in whatever way they could whether to your face or not.
People will always want to be apart of change, apart of a positive effect, and want to know how a positive effect is created within oneself and within others, is it a trait youre born with, or is it inherited by your surroundings, or from who you know learned, that will always be for God to decide which talents shine and which talents fade with less than adequate care and focus on personal development of ones own recognized strengths in life, which could differ from what is recognized to be strong about them.
This book is dedicated to all those who have cared for me along my journey to recovery, pen pals, friends old and new, best friends, employers, professors, and teachers who always had a way of not making me scared about life beyond the walls of school, never thought twice about image or reputation, and always felt safe no matter where I was in life. That’s how I was raised to be well adjusted.
Finding your sense of peace to me means no longer feeling the need to backtrack and share stories as though sharing something known or previously stated will add warmth to your story as though its always been a heartwarming adventure to share your story. The public will always measure you by how you respond in crisis, how you express love and patience in private, and by who you choose to associate with presently, judge you as being cold or the nurturing women you say you were, are, and can be, so long as your private spaces are not being attacked by others for observation is how I feel being trusted past the point of failure, looking for excuses for maladjustments to reality, and checking to see if one is still maladjusted now and whether one was maladjusted at the time they were in law school, working in positions of care, or while dating men whos hearts are admired, and left others wondering why.
The people you meet in life, consider them blessings, where past avoidance of anything that matters to you now, is seen as an aftereffect, of what you have learned, to justify your losses as not having valued yourself, knowing your medical records, and medical history, to argue failed relationships, were not for the best interests of others as diagnosed bipolar, but for your own interests to pursue investigations beyond your realm of expertise, beyond your education, as though figuring out something larger than yourself, would make you feel whole, in place of the losses you have suffered sue to your own merits in life, setbacks, and choices to remain separate from those who mattered to you most, not involved others with problems that were better off left figured out on your own or while under professional care not for feedback or shared as though appearing in search of agreement from strangers or anyone to make you believe in yourself or your thoughts is wrong. And you learn this the hard way.
What you think is not always right, and the minute anyone disagrees with what you have to say, subjects you to defending your choices in life, no matter who is brought up and why, as though someone randoms reaction to you is more important be explained to for acceptances than your right to manage your own privacy interests. That’s when the need for acceptance stops, correcting something past something private, when spoken about now, causes others to look immature or making decisions and choices to strengthen a negative belief in your decision making skills, as though you don’t preserve the past kindly, and do so with malice, redacting, or as though it was your choice to be removed from the lives of others, not their doing, than make to look like one had anger toward those separated from, as though ones drives in life, are to impress those in non-acceptance of them, and so long as a group of like minded individuals can agree, you remain that much separate and defensive from all those you love, women, and the men who love the women you called friends.
Pride can only be achieved by acceptance and with concern for the thoughts of those who care. I thank my Mother for believing in me, as small minded as she may seem having a small minded daughter like me, I assure you she has not influenced any of the bad decisions I have made in life, choice words, or use of humor to lighten subjects concerning identity, race, education, history, and family relationships which either mature overtime proud, or intervened so that you can be proud of yourself too, even without the perks of houses, friends, and jobs, they were always the best to share their lives with me, during my lesser moments in life, and for that I am grateful.
Not everyone will be there for you through thick and thin, mindful they have their own lives to lead absent minded you and your problems, had I not had solid friends growing up, I would not be as confident as I am today socially, likeable under any condition well or sick, strong or weak, poor or rich, social or not, pretty or overweight, going places in life, or just living up to negative expectations. Had it not been for my Father I would not know how to be professional, how to speak to others, how to prepare for discussions, how to behave in public, how to speak to others, and how to live a good life without marriage, create a home and prosperous lives for his children anyways, meaningful lives.
And even if you are the last to interview your Father, and spend time with him, and ask him questions about life, be sure to thank him, when you get up off the floor, apply for jobs, and finally build your dream website, whether or not it is something you talk about and show others, be happy for you. My Brother and Sister will always be in charge of me, having accepted me at my worst, and pushing me to do better in life, supporting me like everyone else in their lives. And do your best not to self-harm and never give up.