Chapter 30: Dealing with Negativity by Leslie A. Fischman
Next Chapter: How to Cope with Negativity: Troubleshoot (From: 2016)
It's important to know your stopping limits in life. When to let go. Sometimes when things are not going our way in life that can be a tell tale sign of bad luck ahead and should redirect you to step back in life and think things over.
Mental disturbances should not worsen to public disturbances. If so you're being selfish, not concerned with the needs of others, but your own. What rings true to you may not ring true to everyone -always be mindful and respectful of the feelings of others. Part of being courteous means knowing that difference, when to take time out for yourself, give space to others, and work out your problems on your own -then reintegrate yourself (mix yourself in) with society.
Right when you think you've got the hang of things, and know how the World works, life surprises you. Never be too overconfident in life. It's important to stay humble to maintain a level head on your shoulders.
In the limelight it's easy to think that things are about you, but that's the one thing you don't have control over is what your audience remembers and what they associate while reading, that's outside of your control. Always be mindful of the thoughts and feelings of others. Never burn bridges, and expect anything back in return, what's lost is lost and sometimes cannot be repaired. -Keep things in perspective whenever writing, what you connect you will be judged for, what you become defensive to is what assumptions will be based upon, always keep that in mind.
The best lives are led by those who put others before themselves. Usually end up in the right places in life. Karma is a product of who you benefit weaken in life, for every failure or miss, your chances of being thrown off point in the future increase if you don't improve someone else will bring about circumstances in the future where you've failed in the past. Recognize your best, always do your best, and never interfere with the positive progress of others, always compete against oneself. Everyone should be better off having known you, whether or not they stay.
You are a product of the choices you make in life, determine where you end up in life. For better or worse sometimes we realize as we go and correct problems, sometimes we fall thru the cracks, and end up behind in life. You have no one to blame but yourselves, the minute you start pointing fingers, you are in the wrong. You get nowhere in life fighting and blaming others for your misfortunes. The only one who has the power to change you is yourself.
Relationships: It just so happens that even the sweetest people are unlucky in love. Or so I've noticed. If you are one who attracts the kind who once feel better leave you, then that's okay. That's normal who we empower usually attract, once independence is lost they will look for better, someone who improves them not weakens them.
“You can only do so much to be well liked, you may not be well liked by all, but that doesn’t mean give up and stop trying. There is always room for improvement. Focus on yourself, not the opinions of others. Self-acceptance comes first before anything. If you are not confident, others will be not be sure of you also. If you love what you do, such as writing, don’t let any [one] person’s opinion of you bring you down. At the end of the day those who care, and those who matter [mind], [and] will stay by your side.”  (Reference: Instagram.com/leslie_fischman)
“Nothing’s impossible until its done. The Journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” [Quoting my Father] –These are wise words once shared with me. How relevant? For whatever it’s worth I share with you my experiences while blogging to keep [my audience] updated [as to] my progress [and] on [our] progress in general as it relates to those who support Victims of Crime and whats being done to provide services to those affected by Violence and Terrorism [for that matter]. My job [previously in Boulder and Compton] has always been to assist those within the helping professions [directing them to those in need and making sure that services are provided to them, adequate services, including Children of the Court at CLC]. [Given this information provided] … rarely [have I ever] work[ed] directly with Clients expect for my experiences as a Crisis Hotline Counselor …
[and have attended one Vigil in Santa Monica and one Movie Screening at UCLA, where I did not talk to the Victims personally, as I have mental illness, and shy away from conversation, in person, professionally speak to Victims by phone on Sundays, calling those who choose to Volunteer, a specific class of Clientele at Moms Demand, separate].
My experiences in the work force have situated me [previously] in a position [of trust which is now different since my DUI, I work differently now, online, from home, without interacting with people on a daily basis, a stay at home blogger and worker, no socialization, no dating, no drinking, no drug use] to care and be proactive [while] helping others [at organizations] such as Brady Campaign. This organization was recommended to me upon application to Intern in DC in 2011 which is why I became so involved [after Aurora and Sandy Hook] later [afterward, and knew where to go to help, by chance, not by what I was drawn to originally, I wanted to work for Bazelon and work directly with The White House, and did not get the job, after my siblings friends passed away, I reported their deaths to them Spring 2011, I did not start blogging until after their deaths, to wonder why, solve] online promoting their organization and encouraging others to support them. [I’ve always thanked everyone for supporting Moms Demand and Brady Campaign since 2015 when I got started blogging for them, after their Founders passed away Fall 2015, I was already an avid iMovie Blogger online comedian beginning 2013, Justice Thomas was a huge fan, we used to joke together, and make eachother laugh]. (Reference: Instagram.com/leslie_fischman)
There's a lot of pressure nowadays to look or be a certain way in order to be accepted by others. Sometimes best you can do is be yourself, with or without those people in your life.
Always be happy with where you are in life. In order to achieve happiness you must first (1) be content (2) able to main and manage your current life in a way that brings you happiness. -If life were perfect we would always be happy but that's not the case. Maintaining happiness is an everyday job. Things affecting your happiness or ability to be happy are: (a) your esteem (b) your mood (c) your relationships and (d) your overall satisfaction in life. -Therefore what makes you happy is up to you. Never give up. Treat every day like its a new day.
Whenever you experience any type of loss the only thing you can do is move forward. --You can only comprehend the present not well what is lost that just wreaks havoc on the mind, body, and spirit of your future endeavors. -Always work with what you've got and be grateful for what you have in life. No loss is worth continued suffering. It's all a matter of time to rebuild self after any loss. What you do presently moving forward is so important when determining what is to be preserved, taken, valued, dismembered, and lost.
No matter how hard you try you can't control what people think of you. That is up to their discretion -how to judge you moving forward, how to appropriate you into their lives as a reader, decipher what's important what's not important. It's never the job of the writer to point out for the sake of poignancy what's important what's not important for the reader to remember. That's not my specialty, memory. I have very poor memory because I suffered from mental health issues hearing voices. I take meds now.
Life isn't easy. It surely isn't simple. Everything takes time: including forgiveness for (1) your (a) negative feelings (b) negative emotions and (c) negative viewpoints, (2) for not being understanding of others and (3) for assuming a wrongs where none exist that is where you are always wrong.
What you think always matters. What you say not so much so, without action or reactions to boot i.e. back up what you're saying or what you're doing with your life. So much can be done and so little progress can be made when we lose faith in ourselves and the abilities of others. First focus on yourself before trying to make amends with others, not only does this cause damage to esteem but it interferes with your ability to make steady progress toward for self and for others. Keep others in mind but never to the extent where you suffer. -You should never have to go so far out of your way that you put yourself at risk of harm. When you put yourself at risk of harm you put those who care about you at risk of harm. These are lessons we learn, through trial and error in sobriety.
What we see has a lot to do with how you feel. How will we be better off, having seen what we've seen, does that interfere with our future ability to see? To what extent can we really be bitten or jaded by others? For the most part we are always in control. The more we see the better decision makers we become. It is always to our benefit to understand the sights of others, as it helps us to see better and realize our best perspectives. Usually when others share their insights or problems we feel better than or stronger, it's always empowering to be a listener in life.
In life you should need no congratulations for good deeds served. No heroic efforts are ever if rarely rewarded for self-esteem boosting but accolades deserved are overtime accomplished through the respect earned not by ones counterparts proven wrong, not from one’s allies in shows of support to, but by judges of character. Do have pride in what you do but never to the extent that you lose composure or yourself during the process of helping others, that's not the answer. That's not the answer to problems, that's a given. The answer to problems is not through the sharing of more problems but through the sharing of solutions do we find clarity for causes to act, react, and just be. -What is heard overheard so be it. It's what you do now is all that matters. You can't move backwards in time and fix errors, you can only move forwards and be correct, that's how you improve that's how you help others, that's how you better yourself while helping others -by always seeing the positive.
Life's gets quiet on the other side when you are listening not reacting responding not telling doing not thinking and putting yourself together first before others how you respond best to any crisis well put together is the best way #mymollydollblog
When you’re obviously not happy in life its easy to give up on yourself. Never lose hope. No foundation built was ever built in a day and no dream ever came true after one try. Often times it takes many tries in life to get going and back on your feet once you fall down and out of place in life. It’s just a feeling of being worthless or not worth it or not good enough in life but things will always turn out for the better once you step foot back into life and leave your past behind you, remember it always, but don’t let it weigh you down to the extent that it causes unreasonable hardship to your sense of self, esteem, and ability to achieve. Everyone deserves an opportunity to have a life, a job, friends, and relationships, its all a matter of how well you manage yourself.
Leslie A. Fischman
Please Note: I have finished writing the first draft of my first book, still editing Ch 5-25, my goal is to publish my book 2020 after I graduate, working on myself right now.