Chapter 63: You Can’t Change the Past by Leslie A. Fischman
You Cant Change the Past by Leslie A. Fischman
You cant change the past or what others think of you, why you should just be, rather than try to convince others you are something that you are not. There will be people that come and go from our lives, but we must always remain the same. Not one person won or lost in life, should make or break you, sometimes you just have to keep going in life, and think positively of others, that even without them in your lives, they would still want whats best for you. Its when you’re in the negative that things go wrong for you in your life, its when you think positively of self and others that things go right for you in life. Never take into question self or others, too willingly that it breaks you down. –Sometimes a little give and take goes a long way in life, assembling whats to keep and assembling whats to trash in life, and always keeping the best of us, in order to put our best foot forward in life. It takes time to understand what is wanted in life, and what is rejected in life, for some of us figure this out sooner than others in life. Nothing trashy ever gets returned, and nothing trashy ever gets respect or gains notoriety in this lifetime, but everything trashy gets remembered. Its usually the faults of others, they are known by, their weaknesses, not their strengths, even after they achieve success, this you learn the hard way. Respect is often times hard to achieve post trauma of seeing someone you admire get trashed, that’s the sad part. Theres always room for forgiveness, forgive all.
Accept People for Who They Are by Leslie A. Fischman
Accept people for who they are, they know best themselves, it’s a waste of time to question others on their paths in life, everyone is responsible for their own choices in life. Deserved or not, sometimes we fall victim to the choices we make in life, and then have to make amends with ourselves, and move forward peaceably, without exhibiting behavioral health issues, associated to what pains us about our past lives. There is always time to move forward, no one is perfect. Never go back to where it hurts, that just re-instigates the cycle of violence, and enables people to harm you again and again, and again. Just move forward. Where there is non-acceptance there will never be acceptance again. That’s how you know whether or not you have ruined a relationship or messed up in life, when you can’t go backwards, or have trouble going backwards, or a friendship or professional association breaks. Not always resulting from a break of trust, but usually resulting from a break in character. When your best foot is not forward in life, you are more susceptible to relationships broken, increased odds against the maintenance of those relationships. When you best foot is forward, it then becomes easier to maintain those relationships both professionally and personally, how to keep going in life.
Knowingly in the Wrong by Leslie A. Fischman
When you are knowingly in the wrong, own it. There is nothing you can do to make things right, by harping on the negatives, best you can do is be positive. There are no defenses to idiocracy or stupidity, you just have to represent yourself, well enough to keep up with the pace of life. No one can help you but yourself. Accept no blames for the illnesses of others, as they are a product of their own minds, not yours. You are always responsible for yourself first and foremost, you are never responsible for the wrongs of others. As directed means as directed means as directed. No one on medication should drink alcohol for those reasons, as directed not to. Always consult with your Doctor or Pharmacist should you take medications, in which the combination of alcohol, impairs any of your abilities, why I don’t drink, sober since 2003. Im knowingly retarded, Ive had a learning disability since I was little, learned multiplication tables by tracing my hands, numbers on the tips, and got zeros on my ERBs in Kindergarten, there is no news flash for those struggling with learning disabilities, you just need to be kind to all. How I was able to achieve in life, its through hard work, and effort, and with a strong faith in myself and others, as well as those around me, trusting their decision making skills, never paranoid. In order to be well, enough to hang out with the best of them, you have to do well in life, that means following rules of order, and doing your best to be apart of, not fall astray. There are no confessions to the wrongs made by others, only defenses. You cannot blame people for the wrongs of others, that is clearly wrong, you cannot blame innocent bystanders, you cannot blame people period when bad things occur, that is not the responsibility of people to be blamed, accept blame, place blame, or worry others to death via blame. You should always take responsibility for yourself in life, you are NEVER responsible for others in life, just yourself. When you represent yourself well, you represent all others well, that is the point of image. Image is when of and concerning you, you represent yourself best. Nothing that I have written has been learned in Law School, it is for and by my experiences I know best, and respond well, to circumstances, always see clearly. When you do right in the World, you will foster self, and others, when you do not do well in life, you cannot represent the best interests of others well, that’s plain and simple.
The Confidences of Your Own by Leslie A. Fischman
Always keep the confidences of your own in your best interests. Never allow the confidences of others, to bolster your own insecurities or interfere with you abilities to function or work in congruent to your best interests. When you are sound your mind is sound, when your best interests are met you are congruent to your best interests, don’t overlap two negatives to build a positive inference for another’s to interpret you in the negative via adaptation of something said not said, or thought left unsaid purposefully, that is a wrong interpretation a forced saying of two stories at once to build an inference, and is wrong. Its two stories heard separately to be told at the same time in a separate space to build an additional inference or wrong or allude to any wrong present, future, or past, or ongoing presently, not present or past. –Don’t allow others to build confidences off of your achievements in life, or off of what gives you courage in life, and esteem, that’s a misrepresentation of purpose which is to help all, not help all, and the replace you. The writer in life, or take away my life, and hurt my ability to live and function, that’s a misuse of my writings. When I am harmed, that is a causal consequence of the misuse of my writings , for the purpose of causing harm to my mind, to my psyche, and to my well-being, overall health and well-being, that is wrong. And should be stopped. It is wrong to harm, stalk, molest, or otherwise harm others in a professional space, unknowingly. You should always be kind to others, and help others as best you can function well.
When you give your confidence away to others, it can be misused and taken from you. When your confidence is taken from you, you are left with nothing. I’m not a confidence expert that is something that everyone figures out for themselves in life.
Be in Control of Your Own Problems by Leslie A. Fischman
Always be in control of your problems, in your life, and never make your problems the business of others, or interfere with your relationships with others. It is not for others to know your problems in life or your problems with others, that only causes discord and rumor and distrust and paranoia. Paranoia results from upsets, when you are upset with yourself, a perfectionist, wanting all relationships to be sound and well, when one relationship or another falters, then you feel imbalanced and as a result, this may cause one to self-harm. Self-harming can result from failures, fighting, or from mistakes in life: sometimes caused by the use of drugs or alcohol. Never base judgments on others while under the influence of drugs or alcohol as they may be skewed or off base with reality when you are up or high on a tangent of life that is not in touch with the realities of situations present in another world, that is based upon your personal viewpoints or recollections. Sometimes our recollections may be based upon what we know and see, such as on social media, and sometimes our recollections may be based upon what we know, by experience, when our recollections cause us illness, that means we have a foundational problem, our interests are to [criticize] and when [those opinions held] cannot rest one may feel like they are not winning [until proven right], [and] not getting to the bottom of something, that means you are [hurting] the wrong person [you should never hurt anyone rightfully so, whether you think deserved or not], why people are turning on you [always be nice to people whether you think they are deserving or not of a good life, a job, or anything for that matter, is no ones business but that person living their life, should not bother anyone else's image or livelihood]. Its important not to prosecute people, and its important not to wrongfully accuse people of misconduct. That is the job of law enforcement. Not the job of civilians to involve themselves with. There are TV Shows for that, its not for public discourse to inflict pain upon others or dissect the minds of others, or to pick apart the genuiness of others hurt one another, you cannot hurt someone to do a good in life, that only makes one sick.
Balance and Esteem by Leslie A. Fischman
Balance in life and esteem are important for positive functioning, without which, we often times feel lost. Sometimes its companionship that makes us feel complete sometimes, its relationships that make us feel whole. And sometimes its work that makes us feel complete. Whatever it is always makes sure you maintain a careful balance, so that one does not fall part, and so that each life does not affect the other. –When you are nervous its usually because things are not going right for you in your life, or you are not doing something right, this causes nervousness, imperfection. There is only so much you can do to be perfect before you fall apart, always go to help when and if so, that is what therapy is for and that is what friends and companions are for talking and sharing emotions with. Publically, the sharing of emotions is considered taboo, no one wants to hear your problems, usually people only want to hear good news, theres a reason for that, maintaining positivity. Maintaining positivity is so important, problems, can cause disarray, and disarray can cause mental illness, mental illness is caused by fighting, and fights started cause nervousness, and right before a fight there is tension, that’s the assumption of a fight about to begin, an anticipation of a fight, an anticipation of negativity, one should never anticipate negativity, but always see the positive in life, anticipate well.
Always Stay Calm by Leslie A. Fischman
They say that social anxiety is: “Also known as social phobia, social anxiety disorder is the excessive and unreasonable fear of social interactions and situations. Often having the fear of being criticized, judged or closely watched, people with social anxiety tend to avoid social communication, especially outside of the world of anonymity offered through online services.” (https://www.learning-mind.com/social-anxiety-disorder/).
If so … how can social media help curtail these disorders thoughts, not make worse, these conditions, that are already pre-existing, this I think is a big concern. People who are not heavily interacting in person, but interact online heavily, and have social anxiety, usually people who should be social online, should have knowledge or experience being social in real life, and able to therefore adjust online well. That would only make sense in the long run. Therefore its best to practice these skills in real life, and not run the risk of losing these positive life skills, with too much online interaction and not enough in person interaction, this may worsen this condition. Writing is one thing, and trauma therapy is another, and blogging is one thing, but interaction, social interaction, seems to be vital a key component to normalcy.
Don’t Be Easily Offended by Others by Leslie A. Fischman
Don’t be so easily offended by others, always reminding yourself that its not about you, not everything rarely ever is, or ever if is about you, unless you make it so. When you call attention to yourself, expect others to listen and comment about you, when you are yourself, and in good spirits then have no fear about what people say or think about you, it is when you are not well or not in good spirits that you should worry about what others think of you. No one is ever plotting against you in life, that’s always in your head, people have their own lives and their own sets of problems, and to dos, rarely do people have time to go out of their way to make a mess of another’s life or cause hardship to another’s life, or cause or instill fear upon another, that’s always most likely in your head. A product of your own thoughts about others about you, usually due to insecurities, or lack of self-confidence, or maybe just not being busy enough, not feeling accomplished in life, with or without jobs, sometimes these conditions do not change, and we cannot change the way we are. Some people are worriers, some people do not worry, regardless, accept all.
It Takes a Long Time to Know Yourself by Leslie A. Fischman
It takes a long time to know yourself, especially when questioned by others. Constant questioning by others affects your decision making skills. One should always be sound of mind and heart in order to make good decisions in life. People can help guide you, but you are in change or your own progress in life. Never make things more difficult for yourself than necessary. You usually make things worse when you stop trying and you stop doing your best in life. Why its important to always be diligent, determined, follow up, and show up, those are key to successes in life, being there for others, and being present. Presence is everything key to happiness. And when you yourself are happy then you too can enjoy life, and be happy too, and get back in life, what life has to offer back to you, when you are good.
Leslie A. Fischman
Please Note: I have finished writing the first draft of my first book, still editing Ch 5-25, my goal is to publish my book 2020 after I graduate, working on myself right now.