Ch. 106 - Desktop Computer - Dell
I think that transitions in life are the hardest part. But once you get going things seem to work out. Hard to go backwards. Learn to forgive. We have all been harmed. In life we protect ourselves not by allowing the harm to reoccur why distance myself. #stigma To have no enemies in life requires tact and self restraint to know wrong from rights as well as ones own weaknesses not bestow onto others. The moment we give up in life and take two steps back are when we need friends the most, make the most of your life when lost hop on Twitter! Life goes on do not blame others for your misfortunes in life shortcomings or hardships you are always a product of the choices you make. What is required is only that we learn from our mistakes continue to improve and always apply ourselves when down to come up again. In life you have two choices (1) move forward never look back (2) sit and ruminate make amends go through your inventory. Life Philosophy Love requires maintaining composure when lost love is lost power always stays with the rock in any relationship nothings forgiven off putting. We find hope and strength when lost when we stick to our strengths and not lean on peers who exude the strengths that bring out out weaknesses. We are only as strong as those around us never stronger than what any one person can achieve but can achieve a great many things as one unit. When in Rome, build with your strength of character not build upon strengthening weaknesses and you will shine from your best work not at your worst. Moral turpitude the loudest of roars underneath the billowing sails of deceit the wretched drones of melancholy despair enthusiasm behoved. Written by #lesliefischman (2015)
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Ch 105 (continued) see part 1
You can use things to help understand but not connect and justify why you think is true only by what you know not by what others know can you be and achieve in life. Not everything is a given in life you don't always know everything or what to do that's apart of living life. Not being stubborn requires listening to others, some form of trust is always required in order to improve when you're not doing well. Don't easily trust others, when you are down, and don't allow the emotions of others toward you or around you to affect you. Always stay positive. Do unto others as you wish done to you. Don't assume anything. Life's not about money or success. It's about staying well in spite of your differences with others and in spite of whatever illnesses you may encounter in life not take those emotions out on others as purposeful. #mentalhealth Ch 104 v2 final draft
Sometimes you have to give up trying so hard. #stopsuicide Recognize your patterns and stay positive if what it is is bothering you then don't discuss what it is that is bothering you, that's plain and simple. You can't get far in life ruminating about the past or by feeling sorry for yourself. Have empathy, but not at your expense. We are all victims of crime when it occurs, be cognizant of that you're never alone. Advocacy is about not letting things get worse than it is, but always stick to what you believe in (positives) that's what keeps you going in life not negatives. As a general rule of thumb. Don't share private information with people in writing by email you would not share otherwise with anyone of professional standing, that's how you put yourself at risk of harm. Ch 104 (a) Live everyday as though it were your last. Always do your best. Work hard but don't be hard on yourself that's not how to like yourself if you're hard on yourself is how you get hurt well liked. I learnt this the hard way to lay low when my plate is full not over try to be well accept myself as I am I'm no example for wellness but I do my best to stay well not hurt or hurt the wellness of others, like minded is not an in it's an out. #mymollydollblog Re: #selfharm Things don't always work out but you can't be too hard on yourself. It's not for anyone to judge you or your places in life. You always make choices in life you have to live with make sure they're good choices. It's important not to be defensive to the interests of others nor your own, when you are well no fighting is always the best option toward staying well. Wellness is always in your best interest. When you waste time trying to be cool the only person you hurt is yourself. #dontdodrugs When you don't feel well it's easy to be hard on yourself especially during recovery, get upset about the past, and blame others, until you take responsibility for your failures in life can you move forward. #dontdodrugs As you look back on what has passed or transpired always think what you could have done better. In life we are not offered many second chances, you sometimes need to just make do with what you've got. Never surrender to the best interests of others when you yourself are not doing well put yourself in a position worse off by people pleasing this can only leave you feeling broken and torn mixed up about your interests and the best interests of others, sometimes this position leaves room for error on our part, overreacting to the little things in life and not appreciating everything positive we have to offer to the world as we are not by what people think we are. Giving love and showing love are two different things. Self-love is about knowing yourself and valuing yourself. You can't go running around looking for love. Love is given to you when earned. You have to be a good person to give love. When you don't love yourself you're more likely to #selfharm. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's all a matter of time, spent working on yourself and by setting goals for yourself improve. Don't let anyone bring you down in life. #dontdodrugs. ----- We don't always know what to do and that's okay. You don't know everything. Sometimes you have to learn when to stop and get help. Not everything works out in your favor always. Be patient with yourself. Never give up on doing your best in life. Don't be judgmental toward yourself. If you can forgive yourself you can forgive others. Sometimes life requires us to stay put not get too far ahead of ourselves but set goals that are: (1) meaningful (2) proactive (3) effective (4) positive; and (5) improve our best version of ourselves. No one can tell you how to live life that you have to figure out for yourself, what works best. How you communicate your needs to others matters, that's how you stay well through positive communications, always be respectful of the time and attention of others to your needs, make sure not to forget the needs of those to whom you are speaking to. It's all a matter of respect. You can't always be fearless in the pursuit of your dreams. That doesn't mean give in to your hardships, succumb to your weaknesses, and give in to failure or defeat. It's a feeling that requires you to stay put with your emotions, be able to sit with negativity, and face those fears head on, not by what makes you tick be inspired but by what keeps you moving forward is a blessing, not motivated by fears of negativity but by finding motivation within to achieve success or goals in life no matter how small, cannot happen on a whim but with dedication to values and discipline knowing how to be, do right in the world, and not allow oneself to be overcome by fears, keep going in life. It's not all about winning or losing life's not a soccer field and it's certainly not a competition in your daily endeavors for energy giving and retaining positivity but through positive exchanges we grow not by giving and receiving the energies of others grow. Do not be drained by contacts in life, communications, or interactions that's not what they're for. Stay inspired by the well, learn from the great, and value the successes of others in life, admire those who are well they always reflect back positive traits we deem worthy of our attention. #TeamUSA {You can't stop people from trying to make a positive difference. Some throw their lives away chasing nightmares and dreams -why it's important not to focus on those who are ill but focus instead on those who are well -how to get well. Once illness spreads its up to the professionals to remedy a situation an epidemic that is #gunviolence. Our prayers are with you always #endgunviolence.} > #dontdodrugs (new campaign) 📝 Re: National Day of Prayer 05/03/18 Prayer to me is symbolic of some need inside of us that needs peace, a place we can go where it's quiet and our needs feel met and we don't run from our problems but accept things the way they are. Prayer to me is that upon awakening to anything unsound we take a step back and rest think about where we've been and where we're going and what makes sense, is always clear when we pray. It's not a voice we listen to in particular but a place we can go spiritually where we feel better about ourselves and others. Prayer reminds us that it's never too late to pause or pick up from where we left off or go backwards to make perfect as we are now accepting of ourselves others and not let hurt fear or resentments sink in but feel uplifted like anything is possible it's a sense of peace we feel when we pray that helps us move forward and be loving toward ourselves open to others and not pass judgment on the past for little errors in life but be appreciative of how far you've come in life and be in the now make better yourself everyday and be yourself through prayer. That's unity, respect for one another. That's peace, knowing your past. And that's prayer, peacefully thinking forward and back. Somewhere in between is the goal, being in the now, that to me is prayer. #dayofprayer #nationaldayofprayer #pray4unity By: #lesliefischman #mymollydoll I made the biggest decision of my life, when I chose to reach out, get help, and continue to pursue a legal education. [There are moments in life] when time freezes—when we feel like we are stuck and can’t move forward— and today similarly feels like a nightmare that we can’t awake from. We get stuck in the moment, waiting for it to pass. We wonder that if we did something differently, then things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did and that if only we had the power, we could change the past.
However, we realize our own powerlessness when events happen to us that we have no control over. Throughout the past sixteen years, I have worked very hard to set myself apart. I learned to forgive those who have harmed those closest to us, realizing that there was nothing I could do but be compassionate and supportive. In order to deal with the trauma associated with that event, I redirected my focus, and decided to go to law school. As I continue to rally through adversity, I have found ways to identify the significance of that experience, our friendship over the years, and the events that followed, in a positive way. Making a positive difference required me to diversify the activities I became involved with and to remove myself from the cycle of trauma, and be proactive. I decided to volunteer for a local crisis hotline and after two years I researched, wrote, 2 and defended my Honor’s Thesis entitled “Dealing with Vicarious Trauma and Managing Emotions While Providing Advocacy to Survivors of Sexual Assault.” Volunteering enabled me to develop a deeper understanding of effect that trauma can have on one’s feelings of safety, emotional stability, and ability to adapt. The process of recovery and healing has had a significant impact on the person I am today and has given me unique insight into the field of trauma. It is not until we experience pain ourselves that can we begin to understand the pain associated with a significantly traumatizing event in one’s history. I know now that what I do in the present is vitally important to where I see myself in the future, so that I can continue making a difference and provide legal advocacy to those in need. June 1, 2013 (Unsent Letter) After five months of trying to make amends where needed, and clarify any misconceptions regarding my motivations for attending law school, I’ve finally come to a pause. During a period in which I was unable to make good decisions for myself I reached out to those who I thought would be the best examples of maintaining composure in times of extreme controversy. Often times the people who react first, are the one’s most knowledgeable. To my surprise I opened this invitation only after I returned home, almost a month after, separated from my souvenirs, it was laid flat with the newspaper and red bow it came with, assumed it was a general greetings letter sent from the Hotel in which I stayed a week prior, to walk around the city before it got too crowded. I flew to DC because I inherently knew that if there was anyone who could understand what it means to face adversity, it would be you and your family. The kind of pressure I feel I am under at times, can be overwhelming. I have always managed to persevere under circumstances which prior to this semester where outside of my control, and stated at being so in prior personal statements, which were flipped around by parties knowing that I felt this way, and positioned me in harms way, knowing that I have difficulty focusing, running the risk (willingly) to keep me out of structured environment, making me more susceptible to harming myself, so as to alleviate liability or free themselves of blame, and use my statement against me, to argue that she knowingly put herself in harms way and we in no way contributed to her positioning herself in harms way to which she became of harm to herself. I have always been honest to a T and never in anyway tried to outsmart or undermine my Professors or the Administration in their abilities to do their job, in fact I often visited the administrators office to handle forms and turn in papers in person because I felt comfortable around them and trusted them and never once questioned them or that they were in anyway trying to put me in harms way or ever feel like they turned against me. However, when I started dating my ex boyfriend, the climate around me began to change, and not understanding why, I became very depressed and did not know why my grades dropped, I never found law school difficult, and was at the top of my class when I started and felt that this was a school that I could excel in and stand out, never once did I feel that I was being downgraded or that I was being discriminated upon. I believe that my ex boyfriend, represented me in a way fitting to his theoretical perspective, and gave me a “notions” definition to see how my professors would respond, I do not know why he did not want me to become an attorney, I do not know why he did not want me to have my happy ending, I don’t know why he felt so threatened by my ability to successfully complete courses and take notes and argue and brief cases without being a head case and without getting paranoid. I don’t think it was appropriate for him to convince me that I was mentally ill, and I don’t think it was appropriate for him to accuse me of things or maliciously prosecute me [of being promiscuous], and go from being my boyfriend and telling me he loves me and wants to get back together with me, to turning on me and turning this into a full fledged war against me [is how I felt at the time, ignored]. I have never done anything to harm him, and he got a job working for the District Attorney’s Office upon me ending our relationship. Why? Because he was not getting hired, and I inherently knew that because he was too focused on belittling me and screaming at me, that it would be best that we part and that he had a better chance of getting a job if he was not busy fighting with me and putting me down and making me feel bad about myself for no reason, and focus on something positive like helping victims of crime, not trying to prosecute me and victimize me by a system I have always supported, the criminal justice system without hesitation have always been in full compliance with the law, to the best of my ability, and when necessary medical support is unavailable have sought alternative means to stay centered in the middle of storm I was thrown into without warning, which keeps getting worse and worse, the more I go back and read the emails that he sent me, which just stayed in my box unread and replied with a cordial and diplomatic response simply requesting that he stop attacking me and that he was not making it any easier in a general sense to forgive him for not being understanding or aware of the immediate danger and unstable condition I am in terms of my relationship with my family, and school, and past employers, and the general public who grew to question me based upon a sub-standard review by an ex boyfriend, who just wanted to crème me for no reason, because he was jealous I left him. |
AuthorLeslie A. Fischman Please Note: I have finished writing the first draft of my first book, still editing Ch 13-25, my goal is to publish my book 2020 after I graduate, working on myself right now.
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