Theres a lot going on in the world, and I have been willing to blog in spite of all the health issues everyone is facing right now, I go through my own personal struggles on my own in life, and I don’t want to be another prime example of anyone not doing well when they should be doing well or not saying the right things, and helping to benefit the understanding of anyone who is going through something not get help. If there is one thing Im a good example of is getting treatment or going to the hospital anytime I feel off, or cannot think, cannot memorize, don’t feel good, or cant sleep, and it can be for any number of reasons, that meds are working or not working and that’s something to go to the hospital for. So while in the past I was vocal of what I have been through that was generous of me to share my timelines in life, something I went through not a huge story about life, Im sure not everyone struggles with mental health issues to the extent they need hospitalization. That being said, once you get put on meds youre on meds for the rest of your life, and that doesn’t mean that Im psychotic or of below average intelligence not smart or stupid sounding, because Im on meds. I think that’s the misunderstanding, so if you get treated like your psychotic or schizophrenic, then that’s a really heartbreaking experience to be treated as not gonna make it, not going to work, cannot take care of themselves, or provide for self or others, and that’s a really challenging concept to comprehend earning a wage, and being able to take care of yourself past hospitalization. The meds don’t make you smarter, they make you slower, so as a result those who feel better than you may come across as being hard on you, because they are thinking based upon how they feel and probably don’t understand how you struggled if you finish law school, or if you look well think there is nothing wrong with you. I just made a huge ugly photos photo album from the years I was not doing well and what I looked like, remember where you were, and be proud of yourself for overcoming mental health issues, self-harm, and every other problem that occurs when any number of people are not okay with you, not proud of you, or think that you are bringing others down, or no one special to be proud of. Like yourself at least, keep yourself busy, stay well, keep going in life, make friends, be supportive, try hard, and hopefully things will work out for you in life, like they did for me, its just one bad year, so everything Im sure will get better overtime, recovery is a process, its not a good time to get into anyone elses issues in life, when everyone is incredibly busy trying to stay well not think too much about life.
Im lucky I got a job, so I need to do my best not to allow any of my personal struggles in life to carry over into work, or be discussed with my Boss, that’s not his job, to solve my problems. And Im sorry if anyone ever had a problem with me, or did not like how I carried myself, what I was doing with my life, or did not approve of anyone I fanned or was in approval of, and later came to admire, after getting to know their story. The world is a big place, and chances are if you are not comfortable being in the spotlight, others are more willing to represent the issues.