When I got pissed off at my school for giving me bad grades, I drove by and threw water bottles left in my car onto their patio, launched them from my car window.
I was getting manic like caving in manic. Like now what am I supposed to do. You fed me to the wolves!
After I petitioned a second time the President of the school sent me a check. I go what is this for.
The one story I havent told. If you cant beat em join em moment in my life. Heres my closing argument, go long.
And my brother got terrorized in Mumbai. He is the one who suggested mentioning the Simpson Trial and how it affected my decision to go to law school and have as many people as possible read it before you submit it. WORST ADVICE IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND. -A NEW CAN OF WORMS IS HANDED TO ME AT EVERY STAGE OF EVERY NEW DEVELOPMENT SINCE BEGINNING MY LEGAL EDUCATION IN 2008 AS A PARALEGAL. Ive never had behavioral health issues, my brother is just an angry person who thinks Im retarded and finished Medical School. I have learning disability Im slow whats your point to making that point why the fuck do you care about where I end up in life. Hopefully far away from you. Thats why you feel like you dont know me why we're not friends, because you dont know how to help people you only see what you see and if people dont see you like you think theyre weak or not trying, than maybe you need to go back to school to study illness and how it affects the brain and why some people cant just be normal appear normal once they get sick. Its not a choice how I am, this is just how I am, I dont wake up attacking the day amped up and driven task oriented, I HAVE TO CONCENTRATE REALLY HARD MENTALLY PREPARE MYSELF THEN SLOW MOTION ACCOMPLISH A TASK IN 5 HOURS THAT TAKES A FOCUSED PERSON 1-2 HOURS TO ACCOMPLISH.
Time Spent Writing Blog Posts NEW Today on mymollydoll.com 8pm last night until 10am today (slept for 3 hours) now getting ready for work. Newspapers have to come out with a paper everyday, its a REALLY TIME CONSUMING CHALLENGING TASK why I enjoy blogging from my head to my website without any guidance or use of reference material. Topics highlighted based on how my heart feels those are the issues discussed. No Im not a pervert, but relationships RUINED MY LIFE. Im not dating because Im not ready to date, okay fine. Okay fine. Okay fine. ENOUGH GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!
IM FINE SOLO, I DONT NEED SEX THAT IS WHY I AM SO BOTHERED. THIS IS A PRIVILEGE TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD DONT ABUSE THAT PRIVILEGE OR NOT EXERCISE THAT PRIVILEGE RESPONSIBLY. IM SORRY I DONT GET ATTACHED AND DONT BEG FOR IT AND THAT PISSES YOU OFF MAKES YOU INSECURE MAKE ME CHASE YOU FOR TIME AND ATTENTION. BUT I DONT NEED TO FEEL YOU TO FEEL GOOD WHY BECAUSE I FEEL GOOD ON MY OWN WHY YOU COME TO ME TO FEEL GOOD. MAKE SENSE. IM DRAINED NOW. That is why I cannot date anymore, because I used to be a caretaker but now I am a dependent not strong slow not able to handle too many tasks in one day cant work and go to school at the same time slow. WHY. Because Im tired now. LISTEN EX BOYFRIEND. Sex makes you feel good thats what makes me feel goid sex itself doesnt make me feel good makes me feel dirty cheap like an object, and then have to block that from mind and hold my head up be proud of myself and then get treated like your bitch, yeah Im busy I dont have time. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME. THIS IS WHY I DIDNT WANT TO DATE YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ME YOU NEVER RESPOND RIGHT ALWAYS INSULTING ME CRACKING JOKES THAT ARENT FUNNY ONLY TO YOU AND BEING A WISE GUY. TOO MANY MIND GAMES YOUR THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON IN THE WORLD TO READ AND ACCOMODATE YOUR INSECURITIES MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A MAN TOUGH WITH AN I DONT NEED YOU ATTITUDE ALL OF A SUDDEN. GREAT. TIME FOR ME TO GO.
My HEAD STILL HURTS.
Im the type of person who tries to keep other peoples energy out I dont take in the energy of others, I am nervous around people tremble inside uptight, not relaxed with a take it in absorb bodily reaction to the presence of others, like going to Staples Center I feel like crawling out of my skin uncomfortable, not fired up excited energetic but feel drained.
This condition was acquired. Dating men with a lot of nervous energy on edge. Im a calm person. Now Im a nervous scared of the World person cant see forward just trying to get through the day and fall asleep at night -I can run breathe fine think fine I just dont feel well mentally and in my heart feel yucky outsmarted fucked over made to look stupid wanna crawl out of my skin shoot myself in the head feeling that wont go away. Ill never feel that I feel great everyday okay whats next driven attitude in life, getting made fun of criticized too much.
Which is why I write. Not to anyone. Just to get thoughts from head to website.
Its because I dated a 33 year old when I was 17/18. Therefore it never feels right since dating in my age group. This was an important realization. Thanks for the card board cut out, really helped understand why I did not feel good about myself while dating.
Im not comfortable having experience and dating men who havent established themselves yet moody and selfish. And thats how I got sick. The dynamic kept changing it was SO FUCKING ANNOYING. So I sent Shamu back into the wild to find a new fish in the Ocean, and got a job at Sea World. Im fluent in Shamu now, having dated the most difficult people in the world secretive hard to read compulsive liars in the entire world,
Honestly I think they enjoyed watching me change my settings to accomodate them.
I miss Aaron, I got really sick after I left him and he couldnt wait and took a year to forgive me.