I've been sick since May 2014, when my boyfriend left me, after a fucked up Cocaine Deal he sent me out to get Cocaine for him, if he didnt send me I wouldnt have gotten into trouble aggravated or relapsed on Cocaine, dumped, running for an hour 30 minutes and then lysoling myself because I felt bugs crawling on me, smelt strong fumes coming from a container in my car filled with liquid not by me.
I wasnt good enough for him. Thats okay, we cant all be worth it. So I pushed myself too hard, now I cant sleep.
Its hard for me to be intimate with others, theres a lot of stuff I cant talk about because its just make you think Im crazy. And if I dont say anything or write or overperform in school I get bossed around picked on like Im a slacker, I do my best everything takes me a really long time to get done, it looks great at the end, but took me many days weeks hours to just handle one topic per class spend like 2 weeks studying one topic or the equivalent to a chapter in a hornbook. I told him I have mental illness if he cannot care for me he should not see me, I am not a good selection for casual, pick a strong girl not me.