TO-DO LIST: Take out a Business Loan for BRADY MUSIC CAMPAIGN and register non-profit, so I can afford to finish my LLM Degree and begin School again in January.
REPORTS FILED: Two reports were filed with FBI DC tonight Online Re: Current Incidences of Hate Crimes against me and attempts to damage my reputation and ruin my Career and ability to succeed in life and life a productive life and run a successful and productive Campaign.
PERSONAL LIFE UPDATE (DECISIONS): (1) After working for Bag Fund Inc. I have decided to retire from the Legal Profession for good and will NOT get married, and will NOT have Sex for the rest of my life and CHOOSE BY CHOICE not to date for the rest of my life after dating Keith Anderson for year and the relationship failed due to lack of a bond strong enough to withstand the duration of my Campaign and the duration of Hate Crimes against me, sabatoge, espionage, and harsh scrutiny I have faced after leaving the US Supreme Court January 2013 to complain about School and why I am not able to finish Law School and why I received poor grades. In response I applied for jobs got two paying jobs in Law and got into a very prestigious Law School Thomas Jefferson School of Law and currently working on my LLM right now. (2) After dating Keith Anderson I have decided NEVER TO GO OUT AGAIN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE choosing to remain #sober #celibate and #clean and NEVER LEAVING MY HOUSE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE but to run, otherwise I will continue (A) Write (B) Campaign and (C) Finish my LLM. My apologies, after I was not flown to DC for my Best Friends Wedding I DO NOT want to talk to anyone and strictly run a VERY IMPORTANT CAMPAIGN ONLINE.
PROFESSIONAL LIFE: No I am NEVER applying to another job for the rest of my life UNLESS my Boss hires me I am working from home. #disability #schizophrenia
FUTURE PLANS: To establish an Official Newsletter on Paper.li and have already registered and have a basic Newsletter available for viewing, but project is NOT complete. Just the automated layout exists right now on that webpage MYMOLLYDOLL DAILY.
CIA JOURNAL ENTRY #1
By: Leslie A. Fischman
---Issue: Combating Fear
Strategy Response (1):
---Shift focus not to the fear producing agents but shift fear as directed by a person in a position of trust to whom Fear resonates from a feeling of respect and admiration or power obtained that one does not have. To fear to fear best a good person than a bad person.
Rationale (Issue 1):
---When you fear someone good who you condition yourself to fear than no harm can result only good because your actions are produced triggered in response to their needs to fulfill or not fulfill be toward against around in lights of in line with parallel to or opposite to in the way of help hurt reposition or otherwise coalesce with when all avenues are booked without ability to or any agenda not in tune is unable at affect negatively either yours or theirs is at best the best solution form of defense self defense and most professional avenue for protecting the safety needs of those around you and put public safety first and your own needs for safety last is how you combat fear, in an organized DOJO IN KARATE CLASS WITH YOUR INSTRUCTORS NOT IN KARATE CLASS WITH STRANGERS puts you at risk others at risk and can result in continued harm to self and others.
---My first choice was in KARATE CLASS WITH STRANGERS that decision was made only because I went to THE U.S. SUPREME COURT FIRST and their KARATE CLASS WAS EMPTY and the ONLY KARATE CLASS was ONLINE at the time. Now that we realized KARATE ONLINE IS DIRECTLY ON US SOIL we need to have MORE KARATE OPENLY ONLINE BEFORE CREATING A PRIVATE DOJO FOR ORGANIZED KARATE and with acceptance KARATE ANYWHERE ONLINE whether by password or in an open forum is NOT AS SHOCKING and any disappearances of a KARATE CLASSROOM online (Abortions) will not be such a dramatic loss if we have MORE THAN ONE KARATE CLASSROOM ONLINE at a time if one feels unsafe and must close KARATE STILL EXISTS ONLINE IN ANOTHER FORM BY THE PRODUCER THEMSELF (I.e. Mymollydoll, mymollydoll1, mymollydoll3, email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, mymollydoll Google+, mymollydoll GOOGLE DRIVE, & email@example.com
--RISK MANAGEMENT SOLUTION TO POTENTIAL CAVE IN OR STRONG OPPOSITIONAL FORCE TO CLOSE OR FEEL LIKE DISMEMBERING SELF -note: dismembering self is not a product of issues w/person BUT ISSUE WITH GOSSIP SPREAD ABOUT ME BY THIS PERSON THAT HURT ME).
---When you fear a positive agent or a good person only good can result when you fear a bad person you have a 50/50 chance of returning to a good place, ending up at a good place, or seeing good potential, because all you fear is that negative harm causing agent from which no positives can result and fear that either stops you from being positive, takes away options when your sight is changed, and dismembers your vision, because their purpose is to redirect you toward some negative that negative being their intention to cause you to fear a fear they produce in you that empowers them thus a fear that helps no one including you and only fuels another for no positive purpose ever only resulting from motivations to fulfill void void being a need a need being power power produced by power not able to attain on their own power only felt when there exists an oppositional force the oppositional force which gives them power if not able to produce through positive means can create a like oppositional force to stay in power by triggering fear in another not in competition or anything that weakens them but power to have power and cause fear fear to maintain power because it's a like oppositional force that keeps their sense of self to a tune familiar enough to keep them going, not altruistic or for any common good or purpose but for self maintenance is not a fear causing agent or fear produced resulting from which that needs any special attention to attention to anything that benefits no one only causes additional harm to the product of that fear is disempowering only further empowers a person who once power given to by causing fear in others is without ability to then capitalize on the fear produced because the only goal was to cause fear and see products of that fear. Fearing anything that doesn't give back is not a fear worth having or a fear worth psychoanalytic or reading into because that person just wants you to fear them (as stated earlier) to recreate or produce a feeling in themselves of confidence or safety which was previously attained only by an oppositional force, which they found to be readily available recreated by producing fear in others.
Facing good fears in life produce positive results for the psyche. Facing negative fears not a by product of our own life but a by product of the life of another is not a fear (natural fear) which if confronted produces any positive effect in our lives because it's not a person fear it's the fear of another or others projected onto you to figure out why that fear exists (which you don't pay attention to because it's not a fear that you think is important NOT BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE THOSE FEARS TOO which they may or may not recognize -but a fear you don't address to not give power of attention to those fear causing agents not because it's not a recognized fear OR BECAUSE NOT FEARED BECAUSE IN COHORTS WITH just not addressed to NOT CONFRONT BE ATTACHED TO OR IN COMMUNICATION WITH EITHER TO FROM OR BACK&FORTH COMMUNICATION WITH).
CYCLE OF FEAR: When you fear a known positive positive results (eg dealt with by going to Rehab, putting myself on a tight budget, being 100% monogamous boyfriend being ONLY person I'm in contact with) -when you fight a fear which is negative or produced by a bad person not a good person (vs. a good person produces positive fear all things leading back to that persons positive core) -if fear fear produced by a bad person then no good can become of confronting that fear because that fear produced and causes for which are for no higher purpose other than fulfillment of some individual need and to fight back only serves that purpose NO GOOD CAN BECOME OF FIGHTING WITH A BAD PERSON OR SOMEONE WHO US NEGATIVE only recurring harm because that individuals need was for you to fear them to produce a fear to cause a fear and upon which any response to that fear fulfills that individuals need to be feared and serves no added benefit toward any positive to address that fear or understand that fear just note that such and such fear toward A, B, & C exists and THIS IS WHY & because this person wants to be regarded as good (but WANTS ONLY YOU TO FEAR them for individual benefit) otherwise to respond to a negative only creates a negative positive if to rationalize causes you harm and/or ORIGINAL CAUSES FOR FEAR are used to justify that persons rationale for causing you to fear them individually, AND DO ANYTHING TO JUSTIFY THAT POSITION BY TAKING ANYTHING & ASSOCIATING IT TO A RATIONALE [FOR] FEAR A FEAR THAT DID NOT EXIST HAD I NOT RESPONDED TO THAT FEAR TO BEGIN WITH BUT WAS TRIGGERED AND RETRIGGERED TO FEAR UNTIL A FEAR RESULTED AND A PRESENT RESPONSE TO FEAR WAS PRODUCED from which then any evidence remotely congruent which could be manipulated to PAINT A PICTURE AS A FEAR OR ISSUE EXISTING BETWEEN TWO WHICH NEVER EXISTED TO BEGIN WITH is what has occurred and typically occurs the person feared is the person who obsesses over the one they seek to cause fear in and FEAR generated IN MOST CIRCUMSTANCES results from "surprise" the surprise is NOT NOTICING THEN SUDDENLY NOTICING and that causes FEAR. Therefore NO WAY IF IM IN FEAR any prior incidents or photos were TOWARD THAT PERSON otherwise when they attacked me or stole my boyfriend or trashed my apartment or tried to allege anything was toward them would not be a surprise or cause FEAR IN ME or domino with any other incidents to then any results produced COULD PREDICTIVELY BE ATTEMPTED TO BE USED BY THEM TO SAY THAT ALL OF WHICH WAS BECAUSE OF AND BECAUSE OF WHAT IS ARGUED BECAUSE OF IS WHAT TYPICALLY PREDICTIVELY IS ATTEMPTED TO BE USED TO THEM JUSTIFY OR EXPLAIN CAUSES FOR MOTIVES TO CAUSE FEAR PRODUCE FEAR IN ANOTHER. Innocence can be proven only one way THE SURPRISED is always 99% of the time the INNOCENT BYSTANDER in ANY INTERACTION with a FEAR CAUSING AGENT. Case dismissed. NO EVIDENCE to disprove or explain NECESSARY BE PROVIDED, people like that WE LEAVE OUT TO DRY AT SEA TO ROT IN HELL not provide any emotional stability of explanation for which and NO ADDED JUSTIFICATION FOR CONTINUED HARM TOWARD ANOTHER what do we do instead IGNORE THEM AS NOT EXISTING. Why because those who treat another human who is deficient in understanding WHY HARM IS BEING CAUSED TOWARD THEM & fighting an INNOCENT GOOD PERSON is so dumb TOO DUMB TO BE WORTH COMPREHENSION OR PROVIDING INFORMATION FOR ANYONE TO WASTE TIME COMPREHENDING but best articulated by EXPLANATION WHY THAT FEAR WAS UNECESSARY HARM IRREVERSIBLE PUT IN LIFE OR DEATH CIRCUMSTANCES NOT DESERVED and why explanation for which is NOT MY DUTY TO DISSOLVE WOULD ONLY FURTHER DISEMPOWER ME NOT HELP ME.
SO NO IM NOT SHARING ALL MY PICTURES ALL MY INVESTIGATORY RECORDS OR PRIVATE INFORMATION ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS NEVER WAS NEVER WILL BE NOR IS ANYONES BUSINESS BUT MINE AND BARACK OBAMA'S.
Disappointment doesn't ring a bell at this moment, as there were too many tertiary issues concerning the matter which needed to be addressed first to lay the foundation for a strong appeal, to which no new evidence can be brought in, and only evidence which was submitted at trial may be used to argue one's case on Appeal. The case on Appeal is not the case to which most are familiar with but a case regarding Memorabilia and a Family Heirloom which was stolen from a home in Florida and found in Las Vegas. (Opening Statement) To be continued . . .
Why I am upset today. I am upset today because I wrote a very important time piece about I forget what emotions and abstract thoughts were triggered when discussing school shootings and the effects they have had on my academic development and why I decided to Campaign Online and help. And why when things do not turn out pleasant, it is easy to quit or just stop trying so hard, which if anything bad happens, one must always take responsibility for. Being a PUBLIC SPEAKER AND WRITER is a very challenging profession. No I will not stop writing. But yes I will stop fighting.
Be careful who you criticize you never know who may turn out to be a friend in a time of need. Never shut out those who help you shine and forget you when you are strong, they are what we call missionaries who's zest for life depends upon the success of those around them and those who they can help and offer services to, we are responsible for empower ourselves not responsible for empowering others but responsible for any actions or words which may disempower another out of spite or for purposes of preventing them from taking away what makes us happy. The mind is very strong but only as strong as the heart can withstand pain, when the heart is weakened it becomes difficult for us to think, concentrate, and with careful thought express pain in a way that the one we love can be receptive to. Keith was a very honest hardworking Man, who when in Rome, decided to gamble with love and find better to which I bid him adieu without comment, and only suffered the consequences of walking away without addressing the relationship to the pain suffered and whether there was any relationship to the relationship ending with the previous. I make all decisions in the best interests of others. When sick it is difficult for me to look at others, why? Because I am not able to help them. As an educated and trained Professional I am required to maintain a set of Standards expected of a person in a position of trust. When trust can be gained only by intimacy with (boyfriends) this is a very painful relinquishment of status and power earned through hard work and effort and good effort and due diligence and diplomatic basic good decision making. If any decisions become more difficult than necessary or relationships tarnished due to any changes in my life not well received nor accepted as true and accurate statements given to describe best the orientations of my good character. We are again stopped and questioned, for what purpose is re-confirmation or re-distributing a series of events to cause or create a set of like or similar circumstances, this is all but too familiar for me and nothing rudimentary or out of the ordinary but what I have become accustomed to. For what purpose is it then to secondly, rekindle a set of like circumstances to recreate something of similar nature and scope to then say because these events themselves occur must be because related for the same reasons for which a prior event occurred with similar sequence made fitting to the prior occurance highlighted to prove so or draw distinction as this incident must then if like be related to.
Stepping away from the side note that was recently triggered by the Church Shooting in Charleston. I recall instances when in the past I have been required even within a loving and trusting relationship with a boyfriend of three years, be tested to confirm whether fact or fiction true or false and accurate depiction of who I am when a series of instances occur or whether I write in a way for a jazzy effect on the reader. No that "jazzy effect" is natural it is called my heart and if my words feel google that is because I feel good inside not lost or disassociated from reality. For what purpose or good does it serve to confirm whether I am who I say I am or set off a chain of events which only reflect a statement already written about enduring such pain, if only for purposes of causing additional harm to and NOT for adding positive light to character and create a situation for reaction only not because one naturally feels a certain way but because one is acting in a way that seems natural but for the purposes of bringing out qualities in another that look natural to everyone else including the actor but only to the chagrin of the actor eliciting those actions/behavior/consequences/emotions. Recidivism and repeat instances of failure do not reflect highly on an individuals character ever, especially not in someones character who is presently excelling and achieving in life despite the lacksadasical deep connection desired by the actor for his lover who he cannot be happy for only happy for when he feels like he can predict her or he can understand her and when he cannot understand her which is not willing to admit to tries to control her, why? Because one who does not understand or one who feels that not understanding may threaten his standing or critique of level of intelligence is acting only on his behalf and peculiar especially when one is acting on their behalf before any chain of instances have occurred requiring one to. NEVER try to control a situation that is already under control, know what if an issue is brought to your attention as a far removed person from my circle of trust which consists of only me and my laptop, that those issue have already been researched fully developed written about and dissected for review and critique and criticism and suicide rendered as proper substitute over retarding my growth and be remembered as peaceful not anyone fighting for anything who has the painful exposure of being mislabeled along the way confused for fighting for something she does not represent and he knows she does not represent but that in case the contrary his fear of support of release of, will justify his pre-planted destruction of my character my good character and purpose, which then forces me without ability to avoid reasons for which such attack to my credibility was made and why a war like tactic was instigated by him for purposes of humor which only make me look like a smart alec not an appreciative writer who generally appreciates fans would never chastise, once wrongfully prematurely chastised behind my back then any future later explanation and analysis for a piece written by my for whom? Hotline Counselors (*Certified Hotline Counselors) will not be received as genuine and questionned with same temperate distance as a lover to his writers prose he questionned and responded with confirmation of the later negative to sub-support an alternate confirmation argument of anticipated later decent and rationale good purpose for pre-plant, which other wise not explained as earlier stated explanation of the later not well received because will bemet with the same temperate distance of the questionner toward the lover who writes but is misunderstood not understood as writing for present but accused by way of tampering as someone writing in prose to control outcome of a future event or happening or control a set of circumstances arising from the coming out of a person in regards as it has the possibility of relating to a chain of events to which this person (not understanding I am a person with a brain) would understand circumstances affecting me if relating to circumstances affecting me at present (which I expressed to you at a Bar on a date Aaron) which you felt necessary to not discuss and by assumption destroyed me and tampered to cast me as garbage instead of something to be valued simply because you thought I was a certain way which I am not, because you read does not mean you understand, because there are words spoken does not mean accurate professionally reviewed for release to public, therefore since I AM NOT MAKING THOSE ARGUMENTS AND THIS IS ABOUT HOTLINE COUNSELORS THAN DONT PUT SOMETHING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE IN SOMETHING FROM ANOTHER PERIOD IN TIME HERE TO THEN SAY THIS IF RELEASED IS FOR PURPOSES NOT SIGNIFICANT ENOUGH THAT PUTTING THIS HERE WONT MATTER. LISTEN.....BEFORE YOU TAKE CONTROL OVER SOMETHING YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. AND HAVE NO EXPERIENCE DEALING WITH NO PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE DEALING WITH AND NO PROFESSIONAL OPINION REGARDING AND NO LEGAL REPRESENTATION OR AUTHORITY TO MISREPRESENT ME OR SET OF A CHAIN REACTION TO CAUSE JUDGMENT YOU THINK APPROPRIATE. NOT GULITY OF CONSPIRACY. NOT GUILTY OF NEGLIGENCE, I DEACTIVATED MY TWITTER ACCOUNT STARTED SCHOOL ASK TWITTER. I CANNOT DO SCHOOL AND TWITTER WHY BECAUSE I HAVE ADD ADHD AND CANNOT CONCENTRATE ON TWO THINGS AT ONCE CAN ONLY FOCUS ON ONE THING AT A TIME.
ONLY MY BOSS AKA GUARDIAN AD LITEM (TITLE-CURRENT) Is allowed to search my apt. WELFARE CHECK me.
Re: Definition of "guardian ad litem" CHANGE "parental" to "boyfriends"
GOOGLE SEARCH (keyword): guardian ad litem
Twitter Redaction in Personal NON-PUBLIC Files (Public Address - *Note Necessity for Public Address to Private Personal Records Already Publicly Posted and Taken Down = No Destruction -HOW I MANAGE MY OWN FILES IS NY BUSINESS)
2/24/15 twitter amended (add)
Re: "guilty" point of reference NOT within subject topic of discussion but in an alternate instance ex Cocaine purchase and ingestion, Cocaine is illegal and I ingested it, a crime to which I am responsible for if I am harmed no one else. Thats an example of guilty or not taking ownership of a crime committed, purchasing Cocaine. However if robbed during purchase of Cocaine and harmed then not my fault if I am harmed, and no justifiable use of force or threat of force is justifiable to intimidate or revictimize me by my inability to publicly identify myself as a victim if trained to take ownership of harm resulting from the purchase and ingestion of an illegal narcotic, such as Cocaine. These are things I recognize need not be attacked or held hostage or terrorized for one to two purchases of a narcotic and having chaotic experiences just getting home.
My ___ touched me first. So Im just making the most of it. Its like coming out of the closet. I told him Im having problems adjusting, because Im attracted to him. He knows.
Update: He smells good today. YAY!