You are what you connect to in life. When you love yourself everything, all else works out for you in life. When you do not do as you’re told things tend to not work out as well for you in life. Its all about following directions. Self-harming is for the weak minded, the feeble minded, and those who suffer from addictions. Who cannot stop themselves from harming themselves, those are people in need of help. There are those too who are hurtful in the sense that they are emotionally and physically abusive toward others sexually and/or verbally. Those are the types to stay away from as they may cause harm to you, your psyche, and your general health and well-being. People who are emotionally abusive do not love you not that they wish to harm you, but they do not love you equally in life, and cause harm to you. Then they are not people you should love and care for in life. That doesn’t mean that they are bad people necessarily, it just means that they have given up caring for you and when that happens you have to give up caring for them, and move on in life.