Its never too late to have this discussion, whether someone you know is feeling that way toward themselves, or others are feeling like someone is feeling that way toward themselves, don’t push people over their edges in life, then blame them for their own circumstances in life. The right words to say are often difficult, a few steps have been provided to help get the conversation started: “(1) Start the Conversation (2) Listen, Express Concern, Reassure (3) Create a Safety Plan, and (4) Get Help.” There are many things not to say to someone who is suicidal, it requires more than faith or upbringing to say the right words, its best to refer someone to someone with experience always to get help like 911 or a hotline, such as The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255. I was told, “You may be concerned that they will be upset with you, but when someone's life is at risk, it is more important to ensure their safety.”  I don’t think therefore sharing my own personal experiences overcoming mental illness is helpful to anyone who is currently suffering, an uninspiring lesson in life, is to hear from someone who self-harms usually you are punished for sharing out loud, any stories of self-harm, that doesn’t make you a pariah, it just makes others uncomfortable to talk to you or be around you, much like anyone who relapses drinks or does drugs, once you get labeled as of harm to self, the unpredictability of your life expectancy becomes a cramp to the style of others. That’s why people do not disclose when they feel like harming themselves out of fear of being put on holds by others, I know when I am not feeling well I take myself to the emergency room do not need help from anyone when I’m doing well and with a job, be forced to admit to using or misusing medications and/or blame it on past alcohol use, mental health issues are real sometimes caused by others, and sometimes on our own merits received illness. I do not think anyone is deserving of mental illness or illness, that’s not what I’m saying, all I’m saying is that those who suffer do suffer, and not to rub it in or blame them for their suffering. Only the well can help make those who don’t feel well feel better, and usually its best to surround yourself with people who are well in order to get well like AA, and have these talks out loud, #stophate. Allow people to get well, sometimes it’s a myriad of issues compounded why people self-harm, it can be because of circumstances they cant change about themselves, in my case mostly. No one wants to be blamed for the death of a loved one, and I certainly do not think that my family wishes to be blamed for my previous suicide attempt (2009, 2017) or for my mental health issues. Allow people to move forward in life, allow people to recover, and forgive often.
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