Ive never gambled before in my life, but nows a good time to learn to settle before your defense go up, that usually sends you right back to where you started before you began to feel better. Theres a certain give and take when it comes to happiness, happiness with yourself, happiness around others, it all depends on how you feel inside, usually a manifestation of our own unhappiness are taken out on others through blames, when we do not feel good, or think that its because of the other, put yourself first. What can you do to feel better? And secondly what can you do to make others feel better. The age old advice “putting others before yourself.” That’s maybe one of the reason they raise us to be that way. You cannot please all, that’s not what being a perfectionist is about, but if you are concerned with your likeability, then yes the more you can get along with the better, not everyone measures their satisfaction with themselves based upon what other people think, how other people are around them or toward them, or based upon how they feel around others. I thought about this today … jealously … what is it? I was thinking its not feeling good around others, when others are feeling better than you, noticing that, and though maybe its because others feel good, and if they do not feel good seeing someone else feeling good, feel less than, that could be one form of jealously, manifesting itself in people who while watching others, feel less than, or not themselves worse off. I was told today outside 7/11 “I hope you find what you need in life,” after bumming a cigarette to someone standing outside of my car, waiting for me to get out, wove to him twice to go away and then didn’t make eye contact with him, and gave him a cigarette anyways when he asked me. (You’re so cheap they reply, ya probably now). There are so many unhappy people in the world I thought to myself (Note: Not in reference to #BLM at all), I think when people are unhappy, its about them looking at you, or thinking you have more than them, and then them becoming unhappy having seen you, and your confidence, and feeling good, and wanting to feel good themselves, only issue is that you don’t make them feel good, and they don’t want you to make them feel good, but they want someone else or around them or something to happen to them, that makes them feel good in the same way, or to have the same things in life, to feel good, to no longer be threatened by someone with more than. This brings up, me on IMDb (make the “b” small, I made the “d” small, thanks #IMDB). I think if youre not in the profession, it can be insulting for someone trying to be of influence within the profession, that’s one issue, also advocacy, how can anyone help anyone who cannot help themselves, that’s a typical quote to “if you cannot help yourself you cannot help others” or “love yourself” or “how can you love another if you do not love yourself” this really makes sense to me, especially with self-harm, hard to love, hard to give love, and hard to receive love, and even when you get love, cannot be repaired, and meds can fix that void either, it’s the self-satisfaction issue, to me, it’s a happiness with oneself, call it success, is that really a requirement to happiness, yes in Los Angeles it is, a paycheck, friends, a house, and a nice car usually does the trick, and if you cannot afford that, means that you need to work harder.
 Amazon Book Writing Inc. (Book #1)
 Keidi Keating (Book #2)
 Torah Bontrager (Blog Advice)