Becoming known to society as a public figure, requires having some understanding and appreciation for the lives of others, and with respect of their identities, be known independently of those you have met in life, which is why those who are most known, or readily identifiable by face and name, are people with the most finished work product, which represents themselves professionally as able to work, and credited for the work they have completed in life, as a representation of their own abilities in life, and ability to learn, apply themselves professionally whether in academics or the work force, and share that benefit to others, either working for others, by known skills or learned skills, and that is how one stands out in a community of people, among others, not because of what they look like, or because of who they know, a confident person, well, a good decision maker, with self respect and respect for those around them. Becoming suicidal is not a condition anyone should be fascinated with, nor does anyone have the right to investigate or make public the conditions occurring at the time, environmentally, socially, romantically, mainstream, technologically, internet wise, information wise, known parties to an issue, issues known or not known, confidence to whom, and confidence lost, alcohol, pressures, applications, exams studied for and taken, there are a myriad of issues, that can be taken into consideration whenever someone does not feel well and makes a bad decision to take their own life, whether to communicate bearing illness, or be interpreted as dying to communicate pains in life, not well stated or understood at the time one decides to take their own life, and assume that anyone who chooses to leave life would do so to cause harm to others, by doing so, all losses can be felt, including to those who pass, including myself, and what I have learned is that the less you involve others, in the process of figuring out your own causes for illness, the less defensive others will be if your condition arises again and if for new reasons, feel compelled to understand why, if youre not a doctor and youre not a law student, you have no right to test for conditions, or to prosecute anyone elses condition well or not, for the conditions of others, as though people are connected emotionally, and internally, faced with the same circumstances in life, disappointments, sufferings, or disabilities in life, making them the same, or therefore responsible for curtailing the occurrence of lives lost due to drugs and alcohol. -It seems that the more you allow others to feel the authority to put your condition into question whether by watching you privately or publicly, is to discern what is of your own making, and what if anything is the making of others, to diffuse responsibility to anyone who thinks they are under your care or responsible for managing your health and condition. --So long as a condition is known, that is how it reoccurs throughout your life, and the more you explain a negative interpretation of what has been caused to you and elaborate on those feelings and why you feel harmed, the worse ones condition gets as they reinforce others with the power to control or manipulate their brain chemistry, body functioning, mental functioning, belongingness needs, comfortability, confidence, or energy levels, that is to provoke and test for a series of events to either prove or disprove whether you are honest, tell the truth, and even if you are telling the truth, still cause you illness, as thought deserved, thats an unwanted experiment with my psyche, my privacy, my intelligence, my ability to be smart, my ability to earn a living, be in a loving relationship, have friends, be well received professionally, and on a larger scale ever be accepted or liked in public as someone who is able to still maintain wellness, no matter what conditions they are put in. It seems to be a constant pattern tested for: (1) taunting (2) head hitting (3) slamming my head into a wall (4) recovery (5) alcohol or no alcohol (6) in love or with love (7) how others appear at the time I get sick (8) where I live what Im doing with my life (9) what meds Im on (10) whether or not I have a job (11) whether or not I am performing well in school (12) how I interact with others (13) how intimidated I appear (14) whether I talk to myself (15) if anyone who has taunted me was attacked back and why (16) the point of disappointment (17) the causes for death around those connected distantly or directly to my family (18) whether I become mentally ill if when others are well or (19) whether I become well when others are not well (20) and why I became suicidal in ancient times 2009 (21) why I went to law school in spite of being called delusional and schizophrenic (22) How I was treated upon disclosure of my condition (23) and whether or not going to law school helped me to live life? Yes, going to law school helped me to live life, and to think better, and stay calm, and in the event of attachments detachments, worry, instability, relapse, recovery friendship, I was able to maintain my ability to communicate my way back to sanity, when I felt gone, lost, broken, not confident, sensitive, bullied, intimidated, threatened, and stay smart, meaning not feed into the emotions of distrust or expectation of anyone whos life Im not currently in feel obligated or threatened by their condition separate from me, as bearing an ability to affect me now. The worst thing you can do is to accuse a woman who attracts mates in life and makes friends easily, gets along with everyone at school and work, and employers, treat them as reject or try to manipulate them via insult to see if they snap or become something bigger or stronger, that actually caused me mental illness and 4 night meds and day meds, and punching my head until my head bled to be called something Im not. When you hear an auditory hallucination, for me, its someone else trying to get inside my head, to make me feel like them, as though I have to speak in a way to accommodate how they feel, by putting themselves inside of me, to ensure that they feel heard or are accommodated, if I feel like them, will sound like them, and if I sound like them, then thats to make them feel better, thinking that someone who is separate is incapable of saying things without their voice present spoken to them, to be thought about or with sensitivity not discussed, or bothered by them, thats not allowing someone to be themselves, because one is not trusted on their own, without anyone in their life, thinking that things are about them, not about you getting well on your own, and needing space from everyone. And because I said I hear voices, is why I am being treated like a schizophrenic, and if I say when I dont hear voices, then that has the potential to produce voices, during moments alone no matter where I am, to see whether I become sick or suicidal to communicate connections to movies, dead actresses, incidences, or guilt for other peoples lives as lived, intimidation, threatened, or scared for a public knowing of private circumstances, resulting from drinking, be caused when sober, to prove addiction present, and causes for addiction and even worse, claim I am addicted to people, Im not.
 Amazon Book Writing Inc. (Book #1)
 Keidi Keating (Book #2)
 Torah Bontrager (Blog Advice)