Everyone is different concerning the timing and the level of comfort they experience with another in loving relationships. We don't all peak at the same time, confidence wise, with awareness of our gifts in life and what we have to offer the world, often times not concerned with what we look like, especially when we are feeling good, without feeling like your being compared to others for general acceptances in life. All interactions, all conversations, contain some physical component, that requires you to listen and respond to others, without feeling manipulated, intimidated, pressured, or obligated to go out of your way to make others feel better about themselves. When you are young you are given so many reassurances in life, whenever you experience moments of doubt, or insecurity, this is to help you maintain confidences in life, required for you to be a well adjusted and mature young adult, some more comfortable with themselves than others, I grew up one of the guys, with an older brother, around him and his friends, but did not date in middle school or high school, for some reason, a late bloomer. Intimacy is a huge step in anyones personal development, its not something you talk about, you either have friends, and like people, and feel comfortable around people, and opportunities avail themselves to you to meet people, with a possibility for dating, or you dont meet anyone in life you feel completely comfortable with. I can tell you one thing, sex is not your ticket to confidence in life, body image issues, self awareness, posture, weight loss, feeling good, dressing well, becoming a professional, presentable, is everything worth preserving your mental health for, without going to extremes when it comes to experimentations in life. Your first sexual relationship dictates how you become treated in all other relationships thereafter, my first sexual relationship was with a 33 year old when I was 18, I was mature, but not that mature to understand the consequences of dating someone older, and how that would affect all my relationships afterward, never feeling good enough, pretty enough, or bonded enough, always maintain your innocence in life, and if your going to explore the concept of love, be sure to recognize when its love, or just for pleasure, and know what you want in life. All women and girls dream of finding a man they can be both intimate with and be bonded with best friends with, enjoying down time together, talking, empowering one another, supporting one another, bringing home to meet your family, without reservations, and if your lucky get the phase where you introduce one another to eachothers friends, Ive only had three relationships like that. I think when they hear my pen name "mymollydoll" they think "molestation" as though Im celebrating a concept of casual intimacy in which you get treated as small in life, its not a fun experience, being new to the world, and then upon giving love back to anyone older, be looked at as though you promote acceptance for dating with huge age gaps, its mostly by maturity, experience, confidence, and wellness, you match up with a lot of people in life, but always remember its "your body your choice" most advances in life, when you are well, will make you uncomfortable, and its usually those who you reject, that turn on you in life, as though your some kind of club of acceptance, expected to take others under your wing of confidence in life. To me my pen name represents, allowing yourself to blossom, without being controlled by the reservations of others, especially when it comes to your heart and direction in life, be molded, or manipulated in life, and the rejected once they reject you upon not being needy of them. Not all love requires need, thats where the concept of "molestation" gets confused, the expectation of someone older or smarter, to be confident sexually, its in exchange your confidence is lost, upon giving love to someone who is in need, and thats how you become in need, and unstable. Its unfortunate, if you experience mental health issues later on in life, and anyone who once felt close to you, becomes disappointed with you, if you do not stay confident level headed and successful in life academically, professionally, romantically, or socially, as though there exists a certain standard of know how in life, that differentiates a victim from an offender in life, where some women are understood for their difficulties in life, and some women are blamed, depending on whether they look like someone worth empathizing with, or whether its more advantageous to take the side of the men from their life, as not having stayed with them, assume that there is something defective with a woman, whos never had unprotected sex, whos been in three monogamous relationships, who overcame addiction, and breakups, and went to two law schools, its after all is said and done, the one who speaks is the one who they determine is at fault, as though one should recognize whether the casual relationships they were in were inappropriate, if Im not in harms way, its better not to subject someone to harms way, by public opinion of them, and further cast them away, or take away their ability to be loved, friendship is not for love, that includes work relationships, AA, and to my online readers.
We all hope that by working hard, and by living private lives, that we will be among those privileged to live in peace, and have our sense of peace respected by others, however that does not always occur. For some your sense of peace, is found to be mentally disturbing to others, who have not yet found their own sense of peace, let alone while looking at you, knowing you, or by hearing what you have to see, recognize themselves as right intuitively when it comes to establishing their sense of normal in their own lives. Its hard to stay even tempered and be a balanced thinker, when your purpose in life becomes disturbed by the emotions of others, whether or not as directed toward you, people will always be led by their own assumptions in life, looking at the big picture overall, its your decision whether or not to make their interpretations of you affect your sense of stability, and sense of peace, not become mentally disturbed, to offset their own intuitions while identifying whats normal, whats not normal, and whats an appropriate way to look at things, and treat you as they wish, based upon what gives them confidence in life, leaving you feeling unstable, mentally ill, and not feeling normal. Not everyone is capable of managing any overhead chaos that results from knowledge, responsibilities, experiences, setbacks, challenges, and negative judgments of them, its seems before things get better, anything and everything about you that can be uprooted to justify a negative interpretation of you is caused, to maintain a sense of normalcy, about those who think it deserved, and wish to further that interpretation as deserved amongst themselves, and amongst those like them, who identify themselves as normal, viewing you as problematic, no matter what your intentions, ideas, academic, and romantic experiences were like. So long as you continue to label someone as guilty, just to blame anything under the moon as being associated to their own conduct, words, focuses, interactions, or connections in life. the more they become self reliant absent minded you, having to describe your own shoes in life, how you feel, how you are being made to feel, and what types of mental health challenges you have been faced with, that you were not otherwise faced with during your more normal years of life. To some its easier to cause illness to anyone who already has a learning disability and mental health issues, who is more likely to become sick, by others, than made to feel better by anyone, thats where their interpretations of someone bearing mental health issues, are wrong, as though its people that can make a person feel better, no I am the only one capable of living my life, and figuring out how to achieve a well condition, among others, and not be made sick by any conditions mental health related, thats not expecting any change from anyone, thats leaving people as they are, which is why its through acceptance, that people remain separate from one anothers conditions in life, you can never combine the thoughts of someone well with someone who is not well, and expect the one who is well to feel good having heard from someone who is not well, expect them to adjust or change how they live life, to better suit the needs of someone who is not feeling well, thats understood, isnt a precaution, that needs to be taken by any writer or blogger or law student or any friendship or loving relationship, thats an assumption of the sick that is wrong, that anyone with mental health issues is contagious.
Theres no formula for success in this Country when it comes to look, demeanor, intelligence, schooling, behavior, tone, or overall appearance to others, and especially not by connections is your life made any easier, than most, trying to be loved and accepted by others, without all the noise overhead, concerning what things look like to others, what things are about, and looking at you for your reaction to benefit themselves, for some confidence is only based upon who is most focused on themselves, versus those become threatened or intimidated by others, lose color in life, thats the basics of someone not liking you based upon what you look like or sound like, its like they emit a negative energy toward you in life, that makes you feel sick, and not understand why, that random confidence looking at you, that occurs, for no reason, its the Ive sized you up, I know who you are, and I dont respect, and I dont care where you were raised, who you were friends with, what breakups you have gone through, who has died, or who left who, and who played who, better than you attitude in life, is something you just have to let fly. Seems to me there is no bottom for anything you say, and an unlimited expectation of qualifying responses from you expected to prove your self-worth, and regain conscious awareness of the person you were, before you were met with such distaste, and scorn. This is America, that doesnt mean its a team sport apparently, its doesnt matter whether you were a good friend, a solid student, a professional worker, no one respects anyone who drinks and gets in trouble in life, and its on that basis that one is hated, and experiences difficulties in life, treated as a second class citizen to most, read as ordinary, with no compassion for any challenges they faced, academically, professionally, socially, or romantically, everyone sees their own lives as hard compared to anyone who is educated, had an apartment, a BMW, and a career ahead of them in life, in those cases, anything of value to them is for the taking, as seeing someone with it all as being handed things in life, not having worked hard for that level of confidence and intelligence in life, and why they had a boyfriend in the first place. Some people just arent nice, selectively sweet to those they like, and distant or cold to those they either know or dont know, as though treating someone as a human being in life is invitation for friendship or romance, of course not, dont have such a hot head about yourself in life, thats goes to men and women, who think talking to someone, means that that person is interested in more than just being a customer, a friend, a business meeting, thats just how single people are treated, if not attached to another human being physically, and as not confident and solid within, is how they get treated, as less than, baby'd, put down, hard on us, for no reason, as though we cannot knowingly and intelligently understand what is being done to us and why, or why one is treated nice and rejected, for some reason that makes them feel tough, and suddenly they become you offended, and treat you as misinterpreting their poor judgment of you, Im not sure what that is called, hurt for a mention or a complaint or a reaction, just for a change in face, to resemble how they feel looking at you, to feel better prettier, nicer.
Sometimes you bring things up and make people feel better, remembering something great about life, and sometimes you bring things up and let everyone down, or even worse feel insulted. Depending on what you are talking about, always be aware that, "For some people “going back there,” is not useful and can even exacerbate the problem."  Sure we have experiences in life, some shared, and some not, always be wary of how you present your experiences in life, as having lived through events occurring in time, with awareness of how others may feel when trying to identify their own feelings about the times, thats when thinking similarly about events does not feel well, between the sharer and the listener, who may similarly not feel well, as the one sharing becomes sick opening about their thoughts, and even sicker from the later thoughts and deductions about life thought by others, which is not in their control, everyones freedom to process events in their own way to their own understandings in life. Just because you have been through a lot, sadly doesnt make you an expert at overcoming mental health issues, especially if you talk about causes for your mental health issues, over what people think, how people think, what people assume, and how people judge you. One strategy for processing events described the benefits of "expressing thoughts and feelings without re-immersing in the trauma, helped. While the event cannot be undone, it can be rendered far less important and overshadowed by other things if thoughts are re-directed. "  Which is why someone going through a lot wouldnt want everyones thoughts directed at them, as they are going through something difficult in life, be further subjected to the analysis of those who are well or even worse those with no upper limit when it comes to attacking a subject they themselves did not go through personally, with their so-called expert hats on, pick you apart, for who you are, and for what you say, without care for how that may affect you internally, personally, or professionally. Thats not how to better understand peoples motivations and drives in life, by understanding their causes for illness, later in life, sometimes things dont hit you until later in life, everyone so free spirited around you, but when you get sick, no one can make you feel better, not even yourself, and thats the sad part about mental health issues, not feeling apart of the energy of a room, not lifted by others, drained, tired, uncomfortable, instead of confident proud, collectively speaking about your experiences in a way that you can be better understood, and left alone as normal, not focused upon for your disabilities in life, shortcomings, deficits, or choices in life. So don't be afraid to take your "mind on a different path. At any rate, talking about the problem does not always change things for the better."  The best of you occurs when you can be normal around others, and speak normally about things in life, other than speaking about your problems in life, being able to speak in a way that makes sense to others, is more important than not making sense at all.
There are no high horses in life, once everyone is faced with the challenge of living in fear of COVID-19, gun violence, unhappy with the Government, and pointing blame toward the mental health issues of anyone they deem as having played a significant role in the causes for Fires in the Valley, Malibu, and Tigertail, and one Earthquake in Mexico. Nothing can be made better, through the discussion of what has been done, and based upon where people are right now in life, be judged based upon what they have done to curtail conspiracy, calling a Prison in Las Vegas, Writing to SCOTUS, Sending Letters and Information to The White House and Senators, The California Supreme Court, these are all the types of precautionary measures that can be taken, to monitor the business practices of all when it comes to the mentality of The Peoples choice of direction in life, and what issues they chose to focus upon, and what is of and concerning the past and what is concerning the present, whether its because of ones condition now, they are referencing worse times, whether as of recently times were difficult for them, and what were the causes of those difficulties, as though I did not complain after the first Fire and wrote a book, and complained after the first series of school shootings and flew to DC, after a Fire in Malibu put together more books, and after a Fire on Tigertail continued to build a website and graduate from Law School with a Masters in Law. Sometimes in tragedy we focus, not on what is wrong with the world or with others, but you focus on what you can do to make the world a better place, thats normal, thats not drive, thats instinct, that when the time calls for action, choices are made, thats not to offset issues favorable or disfavorable to some or even with a few people in particular thought of to have played any role in the direction and leadership of ideas promoted in care of The People and their Best Interests. No one at this point in time can tell you what to think, who to believe, what to know, what to think, or what to feel, thats everyones choice in life, to stick to their own likes in life, its not by laws or by responsibilities that any person should be dictated by others a proper course of action when it comes to managing the problems of others, and then be faced with problems of their own 2013 on, its your choice to go out into the world, to check on others, and to see what the general social climate is among people around you, and sometimes you date, without expectation to, liked, spoken to, and escorted by male figures in your life, who want to share intimacies with you, aside from your studies or while working on your career, dating or loving people in life, thats part of being young in your late twenties, find someone to love, and if youre lucky turns into something more, but without expectation get to know people in life, thats socialization, figuring out yourself, what your going through, and what is going wrong on your end, that is resulting in poor performance grade wise in law school and why you no longer have the energy and stamina to engage in a romantic companionship want to be alone, to see the world better for yourself, thats giving up one way of life, to go out of your way to help others, which I think was interpreted upon returning from DC as a beginning to more, not an ending point. When you do things in life, print an itinerary thats traveling for a purpose, thats not a plan or agenda, thats covering the bases, to make sure that bad things dont happen or continue to happen, and witness how others are feeling in different towns and cities, not just as observed in law school or on TV for that matter. Never be quick to judge someone of intelligence, who based upon their connections in life, feel obligated to respond to matters which may or may not have affected them directly, a movie theater shooting, and was taken on a tour of the Paramount Lot 2015 while working in Century City then was told to get a City Parking Pass sticker and park further away from work by the Rental Home, and parked across from the Holocaust Museum, with an Anne Frank poster featured on the front of their building. -The moral of the story is no matter what people see looking at you, no matter what they know of think an obvious reference and for how long, whether deserved or not, never lower your standards in life to their fears or hesitancies with regards to your condition, mental health, and judgement calls, its your life to live not theirs to articulate and administer reactions toward you or about you in life, as though you are in the realm of publicity and in need of PR in life, as though you cannot properly represent yourself by what you look like, what you sound like, where you live, what degrees you have in life, or by who you know, stay level headed, in spite of their deductions in life, to be made about Youtubes, a legal education, breakups, songs, dying actresses, 90s movies, and cast me out as imitation of wellness or poise and know how in life, and denominate me as not having been a good influence or positive basis or barometer upon knowing in life of when to stop, and what is relevant to know, and which ideas past not to reinforce. There will always be an attempt to personalize actions as defenses, seeing a big picture historically, or being about how others have treated you as thought deserved, to make other people heroes in life, and deflect attentions away from you as being professional or a likeable figure in time, hated. Please Note: You experience life once, and then you experience it again as told, and then you experience it a third time, upon reflection of all your experiences, and based upon where you are now, judged as either having been informed, noticed, with confirmations of theories about 9/11, Petrocelli, CDs gifted, paper airplanes planted, names on buildings taken down. And then you see new companies trying to reinforce those company names, and make an even bigger joke out of your life and livelihood, as though you cause embarrassment to others, when people who have made decisions suddenly dont feel good around you and feel better without you or around others, reject you in public and favor another. #cheekkiss. Whatever reactions you are seeking in life, it was my Parents who called me home did not approve of my job in Century City and the keys to the house I took care of given to a Company, because I did not want to work on the same job with a guy who had sex with me after crying and drinking after a party I hosted and cleaned up after, my Boss left and took me to the bathroom and stood with me in the corner to show me something. Everyone takes their turn doing things in advance to be told, which when that point does not arrive, in a peaceful way articulate in a descriptive way what they meant not accusing anyone for the decisions made, at what point does it stop being about the Public need to understand, and start being more compassionate and less accusatory toward those within a story harmed. Bonding to hurt you and see how you react when one is nicer to others than how they treat you, is a strategy for determining wellness and professionalism in the workforce in Los Angeles, as though no one wants to sit with me, through any difficulties in life, or positions taken in life, and favors those around me, even if I help them when they freeze or have questions, nice to everyone, never one to complain,
Looking back, be sure to appreciate your well moments in life. Not all moments in life, do we find ourselves at our best, especially during difficult times. You may not be as happy as you once were, but that doesn’t mean that you cannot achieve that level of wellness and self-satisfaction again in life. Most of the days you live your life, will not be exciting, that’s not what attracts good things into your life, not is what compels, or attracts others into your life, by how things look always. No matter what you’ve been through always be understanding of others, as you go through life, never worrying too much about how others are living their lives, absent minded your own, whether in your life or not. Understand yourself. And even if you feel sick, overcome with illness or mental health issues, while trying to comprehend the times, moments in life, or your own current well being trying to figure out how to feel better, and get better, know that no feeling is permanent, not unless you allow those thoughts about life to fester. If its your thinking that is causing you illness, and if while thinking about others you become sick, then figure out what is causing any illness associated with over-analyzing your own health concerns, as it relates to others, people are mostly concerned with themselves, and unless you make your issues of concern to others, will they think about you in that way, possibly not feel well themselves about what you’ve been through in life. No life is perfect, we all have private lives and personal issues, that need not be made public, and if you can find the time to smile and enjoy life, then by all means do so, because you never know how long that moment will last for, when everything is going well, things feel well, and youre doing well, that’s what life is all about, finding that balance in life, of wellness, and care for others.
You will always be faced in life with three hardships: (1) sickness (2) unhappiness, and (3) insecurity. Similarly you will also learn: (4) love (5) pride (6) trust (7) smarts, and (8) forgiveness. It never ceases to amaze me, when things are not going right, and people are dying, whether from drugs, alcohol, connections, or by their own misconduct carry guilts from incidences past, that the well are affected, as though it becomes our responsibility to either (a) fix them, or be confronted with an even bigger project to (b) fix everyone. Im not really sure what the solution is, but Im pretty sure, that there should always exist a human ability to regain conscious awareness of the gifts, their health, their livelihood, their abilities, once all is said and done and responded to, with a great degree of care and sensitivity to the issues. I think the main reason why most dont get involved, is because if matters only affect a few, we assume should not affect many, but sometimes the loss of a few, do impact many, that is if we ourselves become sick, feel compelled to question those around us during moments of illness, and think that something has not already been done to address these concerns, and systems not already put into place, to assess the gravity of harm caused to them, by them, and how others have been affected, or will be affected upon knowing them, which is why we know few of them, drug addicts, alcoholics, and criminals, they generally dont shine once they have lost their shine, if not recovered, that attitude you cannot fix about anyone who wanted a better life, wanted to feel good, and in the process of trying to make things happen for themselves in life, just to feel good, wind up finding themselves alone in life, having helped no one, not even themselves, and possibly having hurt anyone who knew them, well or not well, expecting more of them, thats the type of disappointment that the well express toward anyone who they feel does not represent themselves well let alone others, so that they do not feel well themselves, as though there is something wrong with them, until they identify what it is that they are doing wrong in life, if they do not already understand what it is about them, that is so disappointing to others, whether that be family, or friends, or strangers, you really owe nothing to this world, except your good health, and well if you cant provide that in the least, than expect to listen more, think less, and take better care of yourself. As a general rule of thumb, NEVER wake everyone up to sickness in the world, as though by how you feel or by what you see needs to be known to all, always be sure to remember everything within you known is not known to everyone until you share out loud those feelings or thoughts, and no matter how sick the world gets about others, or about you, and your direction in life, you are never required from a better viewpoint in life, to articulate what it is others are thinking when they see you, or look at your life, or upon review of your experiences in life, think less of you, thats just society, sold on ideas, what works, and what isnt working, and that will never change about a well functioning system of trust, how trust is made, how trust is kept, and by what means people are accepted and able to care for themselves and others in life. Thats not the solution. When you get hit with a crisis that you cannot readily comprehend yourself, just because you are awake and functioning, does not mean that everyone is awake and high functioning, some get tired, disoriented, upset, angered, confused, hostile, for themselves, indifferent, or carry an attitude toward you, as a manifestation of their own unhappiness experienced upon seeing you, see your life as a joke.
There are two paths you can take in life, (1) one free of harassment, unwanted intrusion and inference, misuse, abuse, speculation, wrongful assembly of facts from your life, as you are and by what facts given about yourself and from your perspective lend insight to blames and self-destruction, face the consequences of others need for solution by proving you wrong in life in order to feel right about themselves, causing you to question life, your purpose for living life, whether its worth it to respond to negative insights speak, or (2) whether to continue on your path in life, absent minded the thoughts of others, no matter what information is supplied about yourself, and no matter what general comparisons are made between you and others, for determining your worth, your value, your intelligence, and not allow the judgement of others to affect the number of problems or issues you currently face irrespective of their problem you, doing well in spite of their concerns about your condition, whether in wellness or sickness, serve as any significant indicator for whats going on in the world, whats going on within them, feel better upon you enduring sickness or kept separate. Thats when things get to be too much, when someone who thinks they are doing the right thing, causes more harm than good, simply for the purposes of being shared outloud, to communicate a different innuendo of blame or connections to my life and other events in life, or history for that matter. It seems when separate, others think to their benefit only, and if someone is separate that that is because others separated themselves from a person for something unknown to them, but known to everyone else, not by choice while studying in law school, and its for those reasons, that others continue to take advantage of the fact, that they are capable of making things look different on the outside, by story, even without you knowing it, as though you were someone in power in the past, or had the ability to become well known in the future for anything you have set your mind to in life. This is the current discord between myself and anyone who assumes to take offense to anything I have written taking on the position of someone not in agreement with me, and not accepting my condition as a valid result, health related issues, not caused by me or my connections in life. If I am not serious enough online and light hearted frowned upon, if Im intelligent, not viewed as intelligent and thought to be an ordinary representation of intelligence derived overtime (treated instead as someone with a known condition kept secret, not treated as a condition caused for the purposes of justifying any previous treatment of them, be seen as grose). There are so many things to fill yourself up with in life, other than the expectations of others, that will only drain anyone trying to achieve in life, for further acceptances of them, if not already granted to someone, no later condition smart or improved can undo those harms caused to anyone being themselves in life, without love or acceptance issues in life. This creates a pressure, and discomfort to both myself and the side assuming the side of anyone they perceive to be offended by who I am, what I sound like, or by what I say, unimpressed by me, not seeing me as special, educated, with a valid purpose in life to help others, when the side who does not value my writing, doesnt make me feel good, sending me negative energy, through their own discomforts in life, as not reassured as correct by my words. Some people only feel better with an upper edge over people in life, that is when one is down, when one is tired, when one is ill, when one is unmotivated, as though they are out of their way in life, and view someone who speaks well with energy, as a threat to their own wellness, thats the problem, when others are competitive with you, putting one down, to make others feel better about themselves, as though Im not doing my best to prevent death, cancer, mental health issues, schizophrenia, bipolar, and other related issues, concerning what is thought to have occurred in the past resulting in illness, subject myself or others to those conditions again in life, thats not the solution, then to go by the instincts of anyone in competition for wellness, based upon how they feel, judge others as a threat to their minds.
"AML Compliance in the UK and the US"
Dissertation for LLM Masters in Law in
Financial Compliance and Risk Management
by Leslie A. Fischman
Becoming known to society as a public figure, requires having some understanding and appreciation for the lives of others, and with respect of their identities, be known independently of those you have met in life, which is why those who are most known, or readily identifiable by face and name, are people with the most finished work product, which represents themselves professionally as able to work, and credited for the work they have completed in life, as a representation of their own abilities in life, and ability to learn, apply themselves professionally whether in academics or the work force, and share that benefit to others, either working for others, by known skills or learned skills, and that is how one stands out in a community of people, among others, not because of what they look like, or because of who they know, a confident person, well, a good decision maker, with self respect and respect for those around them. Becoming suicidal is not a condition anyone should be fascinated with, nor does anyone have the right to investigate or make public the conditions occurring at the time, environmentally, socially, romantically, mainstream, technologically, internet wise, information wise, known parties to an issue, issues known or not known, confidence to whom, and confidence lost, alcohol, pressures, applications, exams studied for and taken, there are a myriad of issues, that can be taken into consideration whenever someone does not feel well and makes a bad decision to take their own life, whether to communicate bearing illness, or be interpreted as dying to communicate pains in life, not well stated or understood at the time one decides to take their own life, and assume that anyone who chooses to leave life would do so to cause harm to others, by doing so, all losses can be felt, including to those who pass, including myself, and what I have learned is that the less you involve others, in the process of figuring out your own causes for illness, the less defensive others will be if your condition arises again and if for new reasons, feel compelled to understand why, if youre not a doctor and youre not a law student, you have no right to test for conditions, or to prosecute anyone elses condition well or not, for the conditions of others, as though people are connected emotionally, and internally, faced with the same circumstances in life, disappointments, sufferings, or disabilities in life, making them the same, or therefore responsible for curtailing the occurrence of lives lost due to drugs and alcohol. -It seems that the more you allow others to feel the authority to put your condition into question whether by watching you privately or publicly, is to discern what is of your own making, and what if anything is the making of others, to diffuse responsibility to anyone who thinks they are under your care or responsible for managing your health and condition. --So long as a condition is known, that is how it reoccurs throughout your life, and the more you explain a negative interpretation of what has been caused to you and elaborate on those feelings and why you feel harmed, the worse ones condition gets as they reinforce others with the power to control or manipulate their brain chemistry, body functioning, mental functioning, belongingness needs, comfortability, confidence, or energy levels, that is to provoke and test for a series of events to either prove or disprove whether you are honest, tell the truth, and even if you are telling the truth, still cause you illness, as thought deserved, thats an unwanted experiment with my psyche, my privacy, my intelligence, my ability to be smart, my ability to earn a living, be in a loving relationship, have friends, be well received professionally, and on a larger scale ever be accepted or liked in public as someone who is able to still maintain wellness, no matter what conditions they are put in. It seems to be a constant pattern tested for: (1) taunting (2) head hitting (3) slamming my head into a wall (4) recovery (5) alcohol or no alcohol (6) in love or with love (7) how others appear at the time I get sick (8) where I live what Im doing with my life (9) what meds Im on (10) whether or not I have a job (11) whether or not I am performing well in school (12) how I interact with others (13) how intimidated I appear (14) whether I talk to myself (15) if anyone who has taunted me was attacked back and why (16) the point of disappointment (17) the causes for death around those connected distantly or directly to my family (18) whether I become mentally ill if when others are well or (19) whether I become well when others are not well (20) and why I became suicidal in ancient times 2009 (21) why I went to law school in spite of being called delusional and schizophrenic (22) How I was treated upon disclosure of my condition (23) and whether or not going to law school helped me to live life? Yes, going to law school helped me to live life, and to think better, and stay calm, and in the event of attachments detachments, worry, instability, relapse, recovery friendship, I was able to maintain my ability to communicate my way back to sanity, when I felt gone, lost, broken, not confident, sensitive, bullied, intimidated, threatened, and stay smart, meaning not feed into the emotions of distrust or expectation of anyone whos life Im not currently in feel obligated or threatened by their condition separate from me, as bearing an ability to affect me now. The worst thing you can do is to accuse a woman who attracts mates in life and makes friends easily, gets along with everyone at school and work, and employers, treat them as reject or try to manipulate them via insult to see if they snap or become something bigger or stronger, that actually caused me mental illness and 4 night meds and day meds, and punching my head until my head bled to be called something Im not. When you hear an auditory hallucination, for me, its someone else trying to get inside my head, to make me feel like them, as though I have to speak in a way to accommodate how they feel, by putting themselves inside of me, to ensure that they feel heard or are accommodated, if I feel like them, will sound like them, and if I sound like them, then thats to make them feel better, thinking that someone who is separate is incapable of saying things without their voice present spoken to them, to be thought about or with sensitivity not discussed, or bothered by them, thats not allowing someone to be themselves, because one is not trusted on their own, without anyone in their life, thinking that things are about them, not about you getting well on your own, and needing space from everyone. And because I said I hear voices, is why I am being treated like a schizophrenic, and if I say when I dont hear voices, then that has the potential to produce voices, during moments alone no matter where I am, to see whether I become sick or suicidal to communicate connections to movies, dead actresses, incidences, or guilt for other peoples lives as lived, intimidation, threatened, or scared for a public knowing of private circumstances, resulting from drinking, be caused when sober, to prove addiction present, and causes for addiction and even worse, claim I am addicted to people, Im not.
It appears to be advantageous for most, to keep their opinions to themselves, especially of those they are observing for criticisms or waiting for words to lend insight to their own poor judgments of someone, they do not admire, respect, love, appreciate, value, or respect. To them thats their mechanism of self-defense, in anticipation of feeling less than, or being made to look stupid, think all words are for the purposes of rising above any conditions past, resulting from previous treatments of them in public, within the publics view. Its a feeling triggered to some, who if affected by anyone withdrawn from them emotionally, or attention wise, is expected to be questioned, as though anyone ever naturally takes insult to how people speak to them, or afterwards insulted by interactions that were cordial, nonetheless, self-assured as soon as someone separate does not feel well or becomes sick, that only reinforces their instincts of that person and reassures them of their own self-defenses asserted in life, to keep someone separate from their lives, in accordance to themselves and by how they feel about a person, knowing a person, having met them, keep their distance. To add insult to injury, as soon as someone who is living a disciplined life, falls off center and becomes a disappointment, or a poor representation to most by demeanor, disposition, confidence, looks, weight, intelligence, response, image, and professionalism, becomes emotional, its the minute (1) you read into others (2) affected by others (3) question others (4) become intimidated by others (5) insulted by others (6) easily manipulated by others - that you lose your sense of stability and rational decision making abilities, it seems the more you become dependent upon others for approvals, the less they are given, and the nicer you are to people professionally, the more uncomfortable they become, its all a matter of control in any environment, where you are expected to be comfortable with yourself, and comfortable around others, and not interfere with the professional development and momentum of those around you, nor anyone in your immediate environment, thats thriving among, without being affected by anyone, and thats not leadership to be well among, or because one is well others are made to feel well too, thats an assumption that behaviors attitudes and confidences in life are contagious or that illness is contagious among those who are well to be exposed to anyone who has ever been treated or diagnosed with a disability in life. Never let anyone control you by their words or by saying things or telling you things for you to remember about life or your own life, as though you have not lived life yourself, long enough to know when you or others have been harmed, and doing your best to be a good example of a human being, and stay well in spite, of how small or short anyone makes your life out to be, as compared to other lives lived, and the strides they have made in life, compared to your own personal achievements, and lessons youve learned in life. Your body and your mind is your currency for acceptance in life, thats just a plain fact of life, you either make people feel good and are valued, or people do not feel good looking at you, knowing you, or hearing what you have to say, not all relationships are fit for procreation that is for the purposes of sex and marriage to bear children, you only meet one person like that in life, therefore it should never be expected that you ever have to be all those things to most, in order to be respected, appreciated, valued, sized up, hurt, or benefited through interaction with others, or treated as though because of your condition, be treated as thought deserved, until either you start wanting different things in life other than love, or rely on stability and assurances in life or love, that you are living a good life, doing the right thing, and not being of harm to your self or others, as thought of someone with bipolar, with a good life, smart.
You cannot inspire others to create a life for themselves that you are not able to live yourself, and so the theory evolves, which type of lives inspire, lending insight for the creation of lives and to the betterment of all become well adjusted during times of need, versus, which influences and exposures, cause the inequitable exchange of emotions resulting in feelings of loss, and lack of ability to say the least. Empathy is a natural human emotion, not to be toiled or tampered with, manipulated or made better, via the influences of most, its a quality characteristic and trait existing within people they use to identify within themselves how to respond, do the right thing, say the right things, and not be led astray nor leave others astray for that matter by their advices. Who is in need? In your younger years you first experience a strong human need to bond and feel connected to someone you engage in a loving relationship with, a relationship, in which one or the other is accepting of the other, without hesitation or reading too much into their behaviors, loved unconditionally, and upon loving someone unconditionally they are bettered, that may not free them of their troubles in life, but sometimes its through the acceptance of another, they are provided with a comfort and reassurance in life, they are not yet ready able to provide for themselves without you in their lives, or because of being with you and around you have grown accustomed to that feeling of being loved, without having to try too much, and with little effort on their part, without guilt for the energy expended by the other to give love unconditionally through good times and bad. -There are many ways in which a person can be of value, as a writer, someone of value for interpretations is someone who shares insights that help build better understandings of most, whether or not the writer feels misunderstood, in a moment of weakness, or during moments of a lost sense of control over their sense of being among others respected, valued, appreciated, acknowledged, or reassured, its a very selfless endeavor to write through a multitude of phases in life, without expecting anyone to understand you as though that would make one feel better, sometimes its better to accept people as they are without reading too much into who they are, where they have been, what turmoils they have suffered from past, and be glad that they are here today, and respect their life as lived. We live in a society where some have been raised to feel empowered by knowing more, feeling that so long as they are able to see better than others, that they will feel better than others, and think thats what makes them intelligent, having not endured the same hardships as others, and even upon being exposed to circumstances faced by someone such as myself who got sick, not feel sick themselves, understand that natural benefit to hearing someones story, and understand the detriment that is felt by the story teller, who in exchange feels dis-empowered, the more articulate the other becomes at telling the story of someone elses life, as lived, not lived to be told and without necessity or burden placed on any individual who is expected to share their story and series of decision making efforts to be alive today, free of harm, insult, and unwarranted intrusion into their lives past, for the sake of connecting and assembling their memories, to better suit your own understandings of life, and how the world works. Never in any moment of history, has anyone ever been required to explain how systems of thought are derived to equate to the successes of most, and understand the more you try to tackle the subject as an outsider to the best interests of those wrongfully connected in different professions have the capacity to cause pain to most, that is when someone who thinks their need to feel specialized and in the know, is more important than those who work and produce absent minded anyone watching them or being influenced by their lives, remain specialists in their own respective fields, be viewed as important. Good wirting is not saying what people think, therefore, that causes a dis-empowerment to the writer and a loss of identity, to cause them to become over-concerned with what people think, and instead of reading from within and making decisions based upon their own exposures and understandings of life, go out of their way to accommodate someone elses perspective who is not likewise directly affected by my condition, my mental health, my ability to connect with friends, date, or be regarded as a professional, by man made worries, created by those without enough professional experience to feel confident and like minded or appreciative of my own achievements in life, equally as confident in my shoes, and base their understanding of my wellness, as based upon whether or not they feel well standing in my shoes think better for themselves, whether by knowing me see the world better, by my shared insights, come to understand better how others think and speak, and sometimes taking on the shoes of people from someones life feel a sense of empowerment being different than me, not having mental health issues, and not having suffered, see themselves as better than me, because the more they can learn about my life, think its fun to pretend, that had they been me wouldvt been smarter, or made better decisions for themselves, leaving them feeling empowered that they are not me, and benefit from hearing my story.
As a writer, you are mostly responsible for your own thoughts and exposures, thats to start. As you get better at speaking in public, whether private expressions were regarded as off beat, too powerful, in upset, or in defense of ones standing and position in life, not taken seriously, as a proper contender or representation of the issues, as affected, one speaks later, adjusted. Over time as you become more accustomed, to general trends in wellness around, be appreciative of everyones ability to freely express themselves without reservations or in poor taste, share any discomforts or unhappinesses out loud, with regards to their own misfortunes in life, or with respect to the misfortunes of others, cast public blames out loud, as though one is required to speak in response to any improper misrepresentation of the reality current in favor of overgeneralizing everyones wellness to a few basic understandings of progress and acceptance. In America, the times are competitive, they will always be that way, whether or not to include others in the progress and strides made by working professionals in their respective fields, someone is always the leading the way, whether you know exactly who they are, what their experiences have been watching the news, and witnessing life unfold for themselves and with new technologies provided, see more than just themselves blossom professionally online. Its a new field, being a professional figure online, thats general done by people who have found success socially, academically, romantically, and professionally, who decide to share their human spirit online, to help make others feel well and more adjusted themselves, there is an art to being well liked, not in a cookie cutter way acceptance wise always, mostly by energy, genuineness, without complications known, identified, and easy to describe without causing hardship to anyone trying to interpret the causes for their likability of successes in life, as having to do with death, dying, homicide, criminalisation, prosecution, suit, or injury. You are the maker of your life, and based upon how decisions are made concerning care of your reputation, you sometimes dont have a choice, to make new friends, to stop entertaining people at your home, to remain separate from others socially, thats nothing to do with anything Ive done wrong, or a result of anything anyone else has done wrong as pointed out by me, its always okay to respond in a way that reflects how you feel, thats second nature, as you mature and become an adult, you learn not to allow losses, or misgivings get the best of you, that is in exchange for knowing you, a better hand at life received, by those who carry on without you in life, its usually you not making progress on your own, that is assumed to be because you chose to stay separate from everyone, thats understandable, when things are not going right for you or others in life, its always appropriate to take a step back. Whats not understood is the pain incurred by the person who chooses to remain separate from those they called friends. -For some reason I feel like my writing is being judged based upon the thoughts that arrive to the reader, weighed against my own condition as well or in pain, as though the two conditions reflect some contingency upon one or the other feeling better or more free, I can say from experience that its usually who is in my life, that blooms, not myself. No one can motivate anyone who does not value themselves, and allows pain the spread throughout their lives, until ultimately they lose their sense of stability, thats upon recognizing that one is not as happy or well or aggressive as others appear, whether nice to you or not, cannot fix your condition so long as you appear with reservation, the moment you let someone in your life, who you do not know, is the moment a loss of identity occurs, as someone knowing you, who you do not know, who later feels empowered by knowing who you are, and having met you or interacted with you, whether intimately or amicably in life, thats something you have to figure out for yourself, how to get your power back, and not be defined by times, when you were happy, and everyone else was not well, how you lit up a room and everyone talked to you, about their problems, and how you shared your experiences in exchange to better their minds. When others reach a point of clarity upon knowing you or by speaking to you thats a gift, that light in the room around you and others, is a gift, meaning everything is going well, things are in place, and thats why you stand out amongst others, who do not know you by name or face, or how you met, became friends, who you dated, and who friended who first on Facebook.
What was written on Twitter today, concerning death, dying, mental illness, and blogging ....
It would be naive to think that success comes easily to those who are able to stand out in their chosen field of study and exceed expectations of them, which usually leaves them in leadership positions later on in life. Its a tough pill to swallow for most, whenever someone who knows someone famous, or is a member of a family consisting of hardworking professionals, becomes well known to others in the chosen profession, for me its writing. You cant pick a niche profession in life, based upon the needs of others always, and like most professionals, you can only excel at what you know best, whether thats in writing, the performing arts, dancing, singing, filming, documenting, photography, art, math, physics, science, reading, web development, blogging, politics, philanthropy, or beauty. Everyone is different, and everyone shines for different reasons, some shining more than most, its not a quality about a person, that can taken away through imitation, or by reading someones work, a better life lived as compared to the writer of the composition. Sometimes you only get as far as you can see, and well if you cant manage to understand life for yourself, then never become too dependent on any other person, to help you make sense of your life lived. Whether upon introductions of yourself, and whether at a later point in time when you are more put together, have faith that some form of acceptance of you will take place, upon meeting you and knowing you in life, just like basic social interactions, nice or disinterested, cordial or unfriendly, welcoming, or shunned, empathized with loving, or distant and cold. This all depends on who you are, not all are given an opportunity to be new to anywhere in life, or to anyone in life, who already knows them, thats the basic battle of someone who recognizes you and does not like you, or recognizes you and does not think highly of you, usually someone who expects more of you, more beauty, more intelligence, more confidence, more eye contact, and less subservience to the men they came to love and adore. We all love differently, and if its a trait about you that makes others feel better about themselves, then dont change, and if you get hurt because of your disposition in life, dont blame others, thats how you lose that gift in life, to both love and admire, and be admired back. Not all find that easy to do, with people in their own lives, let alone learn to appreciate that quality found in those who are able to love one another, always be respectful of all that others have managed to achieve in life, without interruption, and well if you think you can do a better job at loving someone who is loved, then thats your choice, to interrupt that progress between two people in a loving relationship, just dont complain later if you feel threatened by the later public successes of someone who you used to think less of.
Not all of us are privileged with the capacity to be experimental with our own health and condition, let alone the conditions of others, some live more freely than most, thats not to say that we dont all have to work equally as hard to get jobs and get places in life. Im always mindful that whenever I share a series of responses I have experienced in life, and a set of circumstances I have endured in life, not to share any details about experiences in life, that I am not able to say out loud, for example speaking here, and if asked specifically what experiences in life I am describing here, able to say out loud. These are my personal reflections after having lived life, and based on where I am today, how I plan to live the rest of my life. Although we would like to think that mental health issues, are hereditary they're not, and although we'd like to think that some genes are more susceptible to certain mental health issues than most, I do not agree with that understanding of the origins of mental health issues, or how they are acquired or caused for that matter. If we could agree to one solution when it comes to understanding mental health issues, it would be to understand those issues, as a product of our choices in life, and by those choices in life, make ourselves more or less susceptible to inheriting traits, demeanors, looks, responses, reactions, behaviors, or coping mechanisms, including the use and abuse of substances such as drugs or alcohols to circumscribe the effects of those mental health issues, on our ability to function and adapt normally among others, be social in spite of those reservations or feelings of being uptight. Its true although few have admitted to the fact, that when one feels uptight they cannot be themselves around others, there is likely a reason why humans naturally bottle up, in the event they do not feel comfortable or made to feel uncomfortable around others, whether by their doing or by the doing of someone in their environment or not, who they may find disagreeable to their tastes, or acceptances of who they have come to identify as a normal representation of confidence, intelligence, or wellness. In the event you do let your guard down and let loose, understand that in later moments when more is expected of you, you have the potential for being judged based upon the moments in which you did not follow your instincts, and followed a learned norm acquired from exposures and to the surroundings of one particular environment, to a different set of circumstances in a different environment. The difference between a bar, a classroom, a spa, a gym, running outdoors, on a treadmill, dating, in the bedroom, on a date in a restaurant, at an event, to an interview, or at a job. Its usually inappropriateness that is found to be of humor to those who have the privilege of watching and assessing your personal development over time, without you knowing it, as though they have a right to dictate confidences to others, you do not know, of how to see you, accept you, understand you, or know you, based upon the opinions of people who you dont know in real life, and have never known or met, as though its by their advices in life one should be treated. -There are many ways to make things better for yourself in life, however if you find yourself, not among the majority of opinions in life, about who you are or why you are the way that you are, and based upon who you know, be sized up in terms of how serious anyone should take you in life, then know that anytime you feel good, anytime you are positive, and anytime you are doing well will look stupid to most, thats others as taking themselves seriously in life, tend to observe those who are positive with negative judgment, having heard differently of you, or having heard about you, think otherwise, that your disposition is not genuine, but a product of discomfort as though you know and understand that others know who you are or are watching you for any reason, unbeknownst to you. Therefore you run the risk of making things worse at your own expense or at the expense of others, the longer it takes for you to understand why when you are serious others are not, and when you are not serious why others are, and during those changes in demeanor, be sure not to make light of any experiences by others who have been directly affected or assumed to have been knowledgeable participants in the furthering of how intelligence is determined and acquired by members within any industry for that matter, as having to do simply with who has become sick, who has died, or who is experiencing mental health issues at the moment, which is why someone who was perceived to have been a knowledgeable participant gets harmed, by those who assume its the system of care that is being put into question, instead of understanding that mental health issues reflect a bigger picture of care demonstrating the decision making skills of those in power, and the audiences under their care, who have grown to love and admire them both on screen and off screen, on stage and off stage, be minimized in terms of their talent, by a few instances of mental health issues suffered by a few examples of their cohorts, who more or less, appear to have similarly suffered the same disorientation, physical health, and public scrutiny as someone who is not famous, and who has never been known in the public arena as a professional entertainer and media personality. Mental illness, as sad as it is to see be experienced by people in life, does reflect ones decision making skills, who surrounds them, who they are surrounded by, and who they go to for help, and on the basis of what type of help they receive in life, get well or not.
In the event you cannot stay well, no matter how well anyone is doing around you, means either take a step back, thinking differently, or look beyond your circumstances at the moment. Its human nature for people to gravitate toward what makes sense to them, sometimes it matters who a person is, by education and experience, that they are more likely to be heard than most, thats because they have been trained and have studied, meaning their thinking is not subjective, based solely upon protecting ones own interests, usually when someone is trying to defend themselves thats exactly how they do sound, selfish and off putting, nonsensical, and only making sense as standing in their shoes, the shoes of someone who is not a party to the other side, that is people who think less of them, and do not see their best interests as mattering or being of consequence to their lives, neither in the positive nor the negative wish to hear from anyone, who they do not wish to be apart of their understanding of life. You cannot blame someone who is situated separately from the majority as being responsible for any confirmations occurring noting their existence, whether as a means to include them or not include them in the loop, that is the big picture understanding of how people have come to be accepted in society and for what purposes, usually its earned, and that is why they are not difficult to look at or understand, read, or make sense of, meaning they make sense on their own, whether or not their identities are made known to all or not, that type of making sense doesnt require involving the work product of others, but as a beginning way of helping others to understand my story, I used songs and movies, as breaks in the telling of my own life, however people are people, they are not characters in movies, and although youd like people to adhere to formulas for your own wellness and interpretation of them, life simply doesnt work that way. -We all reach points of clarity at different points in our lives, whether by exposure, and sometimes through meeting people we can feel a different sense of confidence in life, or sometimes lose confidence in life, depending on how well we match with others, thats just something you learn over time, maintaining your sense of identity, learning that people may enter your life, and benefit having known you and not need you, and not be affected by you not in your life, and that sense of feeling put together will not change whether or not they are in your life, and that benefit to them, will continue to exist whether you are up or down, well or not, successful, make it in life, or fail completely to become a working professional, its all up to you. -So instead of wasting time questioning the wellness of others, which can be noticed via anyone's observations, there should be no reason to justify or try to understand why someone is well whether you know them or not, and whether or not they know you, think that your condition well or not is ever contingent upon the maintenance of the wellness around you, the minute you begin to think twice about that possibility, the more likely it will be tested, to see whether its because of your illness others were made to feel better about themselves, and whether others are well because you started doing well yourself, and then the counter arguments are made to see whether if you get sick whether that causes illness to those who are well, to argue that you were not apart of the wellness of others, as being not well, and upon you doing better in life and working, that that was not the reason others around you started to feel better, to argue you are someone who credits yourself for the wellness of others. -Which explains in part why the minute I start to do better in life and feel better, is the minute someone else seeks to control the wellness of those around me, and affect my own wellness, and cause me illness, by getting me to look like someone who does not deserve to be well, and not appear as someone who is doing everything right why they are feeling better, because they have worked hard, which why not to photo your body for men in private, as it may be later used to say that conversations with you were for the purposes of you sharing your body with another, which is done so upon request, during moments when you feel safe, and happy, and private, without expectation of harm to you.
You are what you allow, as painful as that is to say to onesself, its true that so long as you allow yourself to be hurt, and subject yourself to interpretations of you, that cause you to feel hurt, you are therefore only allow that pain to fester, and take hold of who you are, whether or not deserved, and whether or not those reactions within you or towards you are a manifestation of who you are in reality or not. Never become over-consumed with anyones anger in life, especially as directed toward you, although everyones happiness does matter, you cannot make anyone happy who cannot be happy for you or in spite of the happiness you are able to achieve for yourself absent minded them, absent minded their own emotional instabilities in life, when it comes to acceptance of you, you cannot expect everyone to be happy for you, the world doesnt work that way, as painful as it feels, one would expect when things are going right for nothing to go wrong, but that isnt the case. Even after you have overcome significant hurdles in life, that doesnt mean that you are therefore immune from controversies, or that you have built up any resiliency to be hurt in the future, there is no public status or level of success that makes any one person immune from being hurt in life. That you learn to accept, the day as it comes, no matter what happens to you in life, not allow those upsets and controversies concerning your good character, to cause you to implode and suffer anxieties in life that leave you bedridden, hopeless, and under so much strain stress and pressure in life, that you fail to continue to meet the mark when it comes to acceptances of you in life, required and needed in order for you to live life, free from harm, and able to thrive among others, without being subjected to attack, on the basis of who you are, including what matters to you, or because of what issues you have underwent be minimized by anything past, to serve as excuse or explanation for the hardships you have endured in life. We can't all be respected, whether or not we are famous, well known, or by who we know treated as special, or given any benefits of the doubt when it comes to our understanding of the world, and where we see ourselves as standing among others in life. Even if you have lived a great life, does not mean that someone who thinks they know you better or are more deserving of being heard as from their own perspective upon knowing you, feel it deserved to cast you under a different light in life, based upon their interactions with you and ability to control you and get you to portray yourself in a way befitting to their interests not your own best interests. Life is painful, but it doesnt need to be any more painful than it already is, we all suffer from some anxiety in life, some of those anxieties manifesting themselves in our life, at the control of other peoples wishes, and sometimes by our own forgivings and interactions private with others, a loss of respect occurs for us, by others, and by the ones who speak to us as though they see best, and do not allow you to be yourself in a critical world who judges you based upon what you look like, what you sound like, who you know, where you are in life, what meds youre on, your medical history, etc.
One of the first people you meet in your life who teaches you what it means to make someone else proud of you in life is your Father, for some reason thats their job. And whether you understand why you feel the necessity to make them proud you do, whether thats through sports or school, accolades, awards, jobs, or graduations, it is them who you first seek approvals from in life to know and understand whether you are doing a good job in life. Its by your Fathers recommendations you worry less, dont overthink, lighten up, keep going, keep applying yourself, and reminded that everything is okay, especially when you feel like your life is in chaos, and especially during moments when you feel powerless, like your life is over, and that you gave your best and it wasnt good enough, thats what Dads are for, they have been through everything, failure and back, breakups, business stresses, career changes, money losses, money gains, and still they were able to make a family, and because of who they are, you are here today, because they made good choices in life, and you are always considered a product of those good choices in life, until you decide otherwise. In your 20s you dont understand the pressure that hits you in your 30s, when your Parents get older, and life feels shorter, wishing you had spent more time being successful than the moments spent in failure, and wishing you had taken their advice more than the times you decided to rebel and take chances with your career and your livelihood. In any family there is always an unwritten agreement to do what is in their best interests, whether you sign on to the task or not, it always feels like your life is geared on the basis of those who are successful in your family, not geared by your your failures in life tended to, that you learn on your own, although they may seem strong like they have good lives, your life matters to them too, whether or not you are successful, doing well, married, with a job, or home in bed, still trying to figure out life for yourself. Your family is the only group of people who wont let you go out, date, and get used up, unlike your friends, who generally wont tell you what to do in life, only support you in every decision you make, whether or not you get hurt, still there for you, a family is the only group of people, who recognizes when things are off, and sets you back on course because its their job to care for you, not to ignore you, like friends may do. You learn this the hard way, who is there for you during times of need, and who simply cannot help you during a time of need, its not that they arent your real friends, its that they have lives of their own, they need to tend to, without wasting their time, energy, and emotions talking someone through their problems in life who cant get well on their own.
Those who think they predominate in confidence sometimes think that they are entitled to feel that way because they think that there are lesser forms of human stability around them, that have caused others to be at a disposition in life, that sets them on lesser known courses in life, statuses or disciplines, and do not feel compelled to care for those who they cannot identify with and do not see nothing within them, usually people not as bright as them, who dont shine as well as them, who they do not see the as important, or anyone of importance or significance when it comes to how they have come to define themselves, some inspire others because of who they are, and some feel put down by others depending upon who they are in life, its all a matter whether you allow the dispositions of others to dictate how you feel about yourself, or where you see your potentials in life to blossom, whether among or apart from those who either dont identify with you or who have grown apart from you and no longer identify with you. Whenever you experience a change in beauty or body image, thats exactly what others think upon seeing you, first noticing a change and then assuming there has been a loss of identifying with whomever you have become separate from, whether thats friends female or male or lovers and companions and people with whom you have shared a monogamous relationship with and connected with on a spiritual level that is taking care of one another in a a loving relationship. Those who foster best do so whether separate or apart from those they love those who they consider friends, or those they work for, and even in a crowded room, neither intimidated nor feeling less than anyone around them, and still able to light up their own, absent minded who is looking at them, and whether anyone stands out to them, able to stand out too in a crowded room, and not lose light simply because someone else stands out too whether male or female, thats having no element of jealously or inferiority in comparison to those around you, feeling equally as human, whole, and solid as person, no matter who is in the room, whether anyone notices, them, looks at them, and by no matter how many people they meet in life, and interact with, are seen as themselves, not someone in need of fixing, or in need of help, which demarcates someone who is not found, or maybe even someone with disability who is overcoming their defects and weaknesses and trying to blend in with the rest of them, whether male or female. Preservation is about preserving your light, its not meant with the intent to see others as threat to your mental and physical health, no one has the power to take your light away, not by intimate relationships, not by friendship, not by photography, not by messaging, not by reading, and certainly not by exposure, able to change who you are on the inside, and how you look in comparison to how others feel and look whether around you in your life, or via their own observations in life, seeing you in public, rested among everyone else in the room no matter where that room is, who is in that room, who recognizes them in the room, who recognizes them they do not know, and no matter who is around, and who is in observation of that person in interaction with another, there is no power loss in any communications between people in private or by people in public or by people watching over people in private in communication shared or kept private. I am someone who dates, and some are empowered or bettered having dated me or having known me, and without me in their lives have been able to live good lives without me, thats not having control over people who are no longer in your life, and not allowing them to have control over who you are in your life, without them in your life, and sometimes there are attachments, depending on how long you have known someone, and any separation from them losses of light if seen are assumed to be interpreted as a connection assumed to be loved between people who upon separation caused a loss of light to occur. No one is responsible for anyone who losses light around them who knows them who they do not know, and no one with light is responsible for a loss of light occurring around them by people they dont know who see them in public, which is a natural defense upon recognizing someone you do know with light, thinking they have light because they are known to others, and thinking losses of light occurred because they were known to others. That is not the case that love is always involved, light is not about physiological changes in light, between people known or not known in public or upon interactions in public, knowing or not knowing people, see all people as human, not all interconnected based upon who is noticeable who is not noticeable, who is loved, who has loved, who one loves, who loves them, who they know, who knows them, and stop creating basis for excluding people in life, who you think have more light that you in life because they are known, and assume your loss of light is because someone who you think is who they are simply of what they look like or who they know.
There are many qualifications for public speaking one of the reasons is that in the event of an emergency you dont have time to learn and do research and the ability to use books or references by others, listen to current dialogue, and review right now as a whole, thats as you become more and more professional either having experienced issues and having been able to deal with those issues in the past, without aggravating your own best interests or others, or you have no experience when a new problem arises that you have just begun to realize to remember previously not noticeable as applicable in the past, thats when your knowledge base ie your education comes into gear, in a natural way we are taught information and its through our application of what we have been directed to focus on that we create compositions in life that illustrate our understanding not only of what we know and have experience and training in addressing, but that in trying to comprehend and measure the scope of how one influence has either shaped or affected others, not assume nor transmit what you think is happening with or without confirmations from others past, rely on any system of acceptance not understood nor created for you to better understand what is hurting you, helping you in life, or discern the causes for your own issues, as it relates to what you see now, and what you say now, right now is "unlike anything I have ever" experienced in life, right now is primarily about me, not suffering from the losses unforeseen by others, when addressing a subject, that struck a chord with so many willing to respond to these calls to action, to reinforce the values that they think should be promoted without distraction to other issues of lesser importance as it relates to focusing on who needs help and why, not by defending via example your work history as though you have to further qualify yourself in life, to do what you are doing blogging, and ever feel the pressure to respond on a grander scale which addresses everyones issues, Im not a doctor and you cannot diagnose a situation in which others who feel are doing the right thing and noticeably upset, be responded to or described in public by someone who may be outside of an issue, and their condition being compared or tolerated more so by others, than they were tolerant of my reactions to instability, worries about the wrong things in life until they occurred, rather than see me similarly situated as in responding to what does not make sense, and by what I feel do what I think is right, without being distracted by what anyone else is doing, you learn later in life when things become unstable that nothing is interconnected as bearing a responsibility to respond in a way that brings other problems that have occurred as it relates to what is currently going wrong in our country or other countries, if nothing wrong is happening in your life, then do your part, not to become a source of insight when things are going well, and then broach topics to strike a chord with a sensitive population who are focused on their own issues and chords in life, regarding what matters in regards to their concerns and best interests of all they are presenting when it comes down to which incident sparked a unified effort to respond in a way that more than just those who responded initially. If my issues and previous life crises were already presented and shared in a private, then there is not necessity to share in a formal way to the public what is not confirmed to have occurred, those unnecessary confirmations in life, usually occur by onlookers, when its not their lives at issue that are being questioned especially when it comes to issues they feel you should be compelled to speak about, we dont all arrive at a moment of peace simply because others are fighting about something I have never argued nor fought about and by responding thats not to make my life of issue as though my life can in any way contribute to an already boiling and unstable condition, which have the capability of taking on a different character, whenever you have a concern if you publicly share that concern, thats not a joke, all humor issues aside, as thinking I am unstable simply because I cannot take a joke that is more about others understandings than it is about my own life currently, thats not what drives peoples right decision making over-reliance on the past and what other people think and waste time talking about yourself, when other more important things can be talked about, without expectation as though any reader deserves to know the origins of your intelligence how it was derived, and whether because of who you are are immune to controversies if you speak or end up like anyone else famous who offend an already serious and fragile situation, make light of something not affecting them, Im not famous with a responsibility to work among professionals as connected or with a political drive to respond to all, these are skills you are exposed to and learn upon being exposed to how people articulate themselves and in what types of situations they are compelled to speak and how they present themselves. -Thats the misnomer, that overtime, or upon others successes you think are related to previous concerns somehow dilute a bad situation if shared now, does not make discussion of any more comforting or helpful, neither affirms, nor betters either side, and when that occurs sometimes people take it upon themselves upon someone not knowing what to say to prosecute them for not having said anything as it relates to things others thought were important or official confirmations of responsibility as it applies to any interests of someone who is not in a position of power, but who has been present and sends information with or without their review, to fulfill an ongoing responsibility not for them to see what I see but to keep them updated on my progress, not for the purposes of investigation as to other points in time, or by what others have done, be careful not to empower or defend people with an interest you are not sure about and be careful not to relate their demeanor as though its being directed at you, if you present that possibility upon thinking that way has the potential to empower someone who is not aware of everything done right, and at a moments notice all progress can be lost, simply for the purposes or hearing about something from the past you felt was of significance and not addressed publicly in a way you thought befitting of someone who did the right thing, and did not allow others to continue to harm people on the basis of excuses or on the basis of beliefs, or on the basis of their heritage, or by what they know, and especially not because of who they think is wrong or was wrong in the past upon disclosure in private to others, your childhood is not your adulthood, and was told your reputation starts the day you begin law school, and reminded of how important your moral character application is to pass the bar exam I was one of the recommenders to my best friend asked to write a recommendation for him as a law student in California. I cant explain how someone with years of experience gets in trouble and put in jail, it must because they did not improve over time or correct what was of issue or could be of issue, and instead of reinforcing that companies purpose to promote the best interests of all, was turned in as someone who actually caused harm to the careers of others, not helping them, and if that pain upon having been attached to them, to hear about causes you pain, well then thats why they were punished. How can someone who belongs and making millions of dollars, ever become concerned with the interests of a few, there are many ways of becoming special, either as a whole you have an ability to not overwhelm the senses and after meeting you, not thought about in the negative, or reminded of after they have come into your life, and some people stay in your life, even after you have left their life, and sometimes that can create an unwanted attachment, to be connected to a previous moment in time, when there was total acceptance of you, and see the same occur as though if now, at what point was there ever a personal interest in responding to matter outside the scope of anyones business practices if exiting in real life, not of or concerning them. I think what is wanted to be known about me now, is how I am able to see things and pick up the correct way to respond, its not through training you earn your tone, its a disciplined practice to write and to sound well and be balanced and say what makes sense without causing instability to any side who has been affected by any system of abuse, in which one has grown to trust, and then feel pain at a later point as a result of having been connected to them, thats more than people being quiet in a room you are in, or trying to get everyone to feel comfortable around you, as though that is necessary to see you in action past a point of non-acceptance, later wellness can still be affected by previous moments of illness no matter what the causes were, be mindful of that. Which brings us to our next point, life is short, therefore if you get the work done on paper and explain things well once, that will suffice if it was never about those things and later provoked by everyone doing well, thats to see whether you are only comfortable sharing information as it relates to those who are successful as though you have any preferred preference of connection in life to well in order to thrive Im nice to everyone but at this point I do not have the energy to think about what is not understood at the risk of provoking conversations among everyone who has just arrived and who have left and found solution, to be bothered as people are coming to a moment of peace, see whether any changes within me or via discourse coming from me every trigger unwanted change in others, of course not, I do not compare myself to others, I dont look at others, I do not focus on others, I am accepting of all, I read enough to know who they are maybe upon knowing their connections matters in life, but dont make things about the lives of others as though I am picky about whether to accept someone into my life depending on what I think is about me or whether that does not support or offends the interests of anyone trying to prove me wrong in life as though I am being critical of anyone who is not in my life and doing anything wrong directly to me, just as for the purposes I am degraded to terms, similarly companies can be degraded if they ever look as though their purpose was futile, dont put me down therefore to empower anything that is going well for others, connect us as though my condition is their fault. When everything can be summarized to something that is not a necessary public issue,for the fact that I have never been gay in my life, and do not have any plans to be gay, dont entertain that understanding of you as being something you are not, simply to accommodate their winning hand in life or a series of interpretations they practice when it comes to being funny and shedding light on the order of importance of issues, and to who understand to who is disconnect not clear to,. Why is this important because once there is evidence of a changed condition set in stone, that becomes a confirmed part of your identity and if so stated is believed to have occurred and once something you are not sure about can be confirmed as being of issue, that only reinforces all previous assumptions that you looked and sounded and were uncomfortable because you were those things in life Gay, simply because you were not afforded medications in life, to maintain focus on yourself not be easily distracted in life, for whatever reason you became tired, from having smoked weed, and got tired. This brings up an important question if you explain the capability of your face changing then then as you are now with similarly be experimented with given your conditions and exposures, to see whether you are a product of what you hear, who you see, what you know, your exposures, and whether you adapt and change to be like, to be as good as, in defiance of oneself, or illustrate a way in which you were harmed something others noticed that you did not, having not been vain, care. There are naturally ways in which a Freudian slip occurs which is when a more positive understanding of personal changes can be observed through your writing, even if you have not said that out loud, which is why its important to leave people in their natural condition, not to write to prove points as directed to yourself or others when it comes to looks, sexuality, or your private life.
 Amazon Book Writing Inc. (Book #1)
 Keidi Keating (Book #2)
 Torah Bontrager (Blog Advice)