Whenever you decide to come forward in life and share your story, take your time, we do not all become victims at once, sometimes during the telling of a story, others may become defensive, as looking bad by comparison, think you intend to hurt the reputations of others, while anticipating your shares in life, about your life, don’t be surprised when others stop talking to you, or when you have lost friendships in life, allow people to move forward in life, irrespective of your wellness or concerns in life. It is not their fault for being defensive toward your needs in life, whether that is to validate self, secure your interests in maintaining wellness, or diffusing their ability to blame you as not being well, and because youre not well, affecting the wellness of others, its not by what work you accomplish that keeps others form harming you, it doesn’t matter how well you are, sometimes its only until after its too late, that others stop provoking you causing you illness, or garnering support amongst others to contribute to you social well being and wellness, thinking you deserve to be put down in life, as how you are when you are under the influence of substances, and hurt as though you do not deserve an education or career, we all deserve to live life, free from interference from the interests of others, so long as we keep in mind the importance of wellness, allow those holding leadership positions in life, to take care of what is above and outside of your individual controls in life, those are they who determine whether you are fit to live home, fit to attend meetings, fit to date, and fit to work, it is by receiving permissions in life that you become able to achieve again in life, never treat anyone who is not well or who has yet to realize their potentials in life, as above their means, and as being above their means of lower intelligence because they don’t fit in with the majority’s standard of wellness, and as able as others to perform at work and in life, socially. That has nothing to do with them, and everything to do, with to whom illness is passed on to, what illnesses I have suffered from are not hereditary, but caused conditions upon disclosing personal information, to assign blames to people I know to cause separation based upon wellness and sides agreed upon. Why I left dinner, my family was better off when I was living alone, than to see them now, worse off in life, is disappointing to me, and because I am not able to perform at work, and do not have the same stamina as I used to have in public I am suffering, as a member of society who is suffering, I do not think that those sufferings should be make public, to further worsen my condition, as read, as though I am what I am exposed to via work experiences or whether someone after reading my resume thinks they have the same knowledge as me, and then rejects me and creates conditions to see if what jobs I apply for are because I relate to or whether strategic to tell a story, I apply where there are jobs and by where I am accepted, and based upon my own wellness at the time of acceptance.
All roads lead to one, success or failure, and based upon how you look back on your life, affects and influences the decisions you make moving forward, you are responsible for learning at which moments you put yourself at risk of harm, and at which points in life, others became apathetic toward your successes in life, thinking you more or less deserved to look and feel well, in place of their own best interests chose to separate or stay separate from. When you separate yourself from society, that’s your choice to separate yourself from others, if you do not know that you are being overlooked by others, then upon the happening of any separation from others, interests or well being, wellness is determined, and by your choices in life deemed relevant to your current condition, relevant to your past, relevant to your knowledge and awareness of being watched or judged by others, and relevant to determine whether separations in the past were for the same reason separations now are occurring in your life, this is common to those who do not recognize their mistakes in life, it really doesn’t matter who you let back into you life, no separations thereafter, after having achieved a better condition on your own go toward them trying to hurt you upon moving forward in life, as reminded of your past upon seeing them, relapse. Separations hurt, its not fun to experience mental illness, and its not fun to be on your own in life, that’s not proving you are tough being out alone, that’s not proving you are good being out alone unharmed, that’s not proving that the world is safer with you putting yourself at risk of harm, and not being harmed. So long as you put yourself at risk of harm, it doesn’t matter whether those overlooking overall think negatively or poorly of you, to get an accurate read on which rumors are known about you and which rumors known about you are hurting your reputation in life, and causes others to react apathetic toward you, or let you go in life, as bringing others down by your lack of understanding of the issues, or think that your wellness shows that you are immune or insensitive to the sufferings of others and have not suffered yourself in life, you will always be judged currently by what is stated to determine whether you were mature at the time you bad choices, and whether your self esteem was harmed by poor judgments of you, by those close to you, or by those who you came to trust in life, no one takes responsibility for your wellness in life, once you become an adult, that’s something you have to figure out on your own, how to stay well and get help, don’t expect anyone to carve out a path for you in life or footsteps for you to follow to achieve wellness in life, after experiencing mental illness. Not all mental illnesses are the same. And for different points in our life, and for different reasons in life, do we experience mental health issues.
As you mature and realize your potentials in life, you begin to recognize how dependent you were on others socially, and begin to feel more independent of others, the more proactive you are on your own the better, even if you are not social, its possible to stay well, by staying active members of organizations, and while maintaining jobs function as a normal member of society. If you are a rape crisis hotline counselor, who you date matters, and if you leave a relationship you cannot date those you like, or go by who likes you, date causally, that would be inappropriate to date, and give advices to others, who have been negatively affected by their experiences in life, be able to provide advocacy. A part of you may always wonder, if you take on serious commitments in life, what your life would have been like had you gone out and dated publicly, not all are privileged to get picked up or date normally. Be forgiving of those who get started late, and learn how to be friendly toward those who like them, and not date everyone they like, for affirmations in life, that’s not how to look well, or to be able to provide advocacy to others, some can date causally, but if you are to provide assistance to others in crisis it it important that you do not date or do drugs, once you do drugs, you cannot work the hotline, you cannot function in school and when all you have left is your social life, eventually those positive experiences no longer exist, as your condition worsens, and as you develop mental health issues, unable to take calls, unable to hook up, until you end up out alone, and doing drugs on your own, that’s how devastating addiction can be, if you live alone, don’t subject yourself to harms or negative judgments of others, by switching gears in life to a lifestyle that interrupt your career choices in life, or limit your potential intellectually or professionally. I was on Deans List, and got the job at the Boulder Das Office and had begun training as a victim advocate, because of my then addiction to cocaine, I was unable to take the job, and had left shifts on the hotline, I used to take shifts at night, and had one boyfriend who called me on occasion at night, we were not close enough for me to arrange visits myself, and then went on to date someone who had courted me on Facebook. Whats Ghetto is not learning from your mistakes in life, and sharing stories about your past, as though you are proud of having been associated to different types of people in life, as neighbors, and still able to achieve in life, that’s how you will be remembered by the moments you can be defined as someone not reliable, and then afterwards treated like a functioning addict who brings harm upon themselves and others, and as associated as a member of the helping professions knowingly, hurt yourself, upon being cheated on, left. That’s my right to privacy, and no ones business to know why I got left, there was no reason why I got left, he just didn’t want to see me anymore, thought we should go our separate ways, and was confronted in the hallway by a more mature person, a bartender in Denver Colorado. Nice enough to introduce herself. If people know your story, then as knowing your story, think they have a right to recreate circumstances and take from you, whether or not you feel offended or made jealous by others advances in public.
If youre not fit youre not fit, and if for some reason others feel more intelligent than you based upon how you are treated by others, look, appear, or by what they know about you think they know how best to articulate how you make them feel when they are around you, it is likely you may become sick as nice or dependent upon others for reassurances in life or friendship, if you look like a reject and not selected or picked, deemed as well, then it is likely that you may get hurt upon being nice to someone, who assumes you are being nice for advances in life toward you, sometimes being nice to people feels good, and if others do not want to be nice to you, to make you feel good back, that means they are not interested in you. You have to be well to photo well, and if you look overweight in photos and if you are overweight you will likely not look well in photos, especially photos taken by others, best to take photos of self, and learn how to photo, before sharing any photos of you taken by others, you never know, whats going on affecting your facial features or opinions about you, and what spooks others to see you strong, doing well, or unaffected by the negative judgements of others, as though you are going along with the wellness of others, whether you are independently well on your own, what keeps you going in life whether its being apart of, and also taken into account is your ability to socialize and be well liked while drinking or on drugs, to determine you level of intelligence to determine whether you get affected by crowds in life, why you think its okay to be yourself in public and not maintain your appearances as conservative, that’s letting you know that its not safe to let your guard down, and that you are being judged by others based upon your comforts in life, and whether your wellness is a result of being raised thinking you are above others, and put down in life or making others feel not as healthy as someone who appears positive to test to see whether they feed off the negative energy of others, or raise themselves to higher esteems without permissions in life, feeling good (as acting) around those who are depressed, and trying to make others feel good, because you think that you can make others feel good, know your speed in life, as you will be judged as how you interact with others, in public, and by those negative judgments separated as having problems, not yet realized. Are you gay? It is always who hurt you, that you are reminded of the minute you get sick, recall every statement that made sense to you, when you were not well, and forget all the good times and fun moments you have spent with them, that’s someone who thinks they are above you treating you as less than or stupid not an equal, those are the types who think you need leadership, and by proving to others you need leadership, not independent by your own devices, and the worse decisions you make letting others into your life, without recognizing how bad images are created, it will be too late to go backwards and clean up your past, even if you were 18 or 19 or 21, you are who you hook up with, if you don’t get started dating until college, than you are set back in life, as being immature, the more mature selected over the independent, available upon request, that is not your ticket to positive judgments of you, you are likely to not be seen as a caregiver, and more likely as upon having read your work, turn you into looking like the offender as responsible for negative judgments toward them by those watching, and without you knowing become sick, and dependent on substances before you realize why you feel ill.
Whenever you backtrack in life, and realize what opportunities you have missed due to your inability to care for yourself and others, you begin to feel bad. Its no surprise why you have fewer connections in life, eventually people let go, the worse off you become, people tend to focus more on themselves and their families, theres a small window of opportunity to improve yourself and be let back into peoples lives, but passed the point of non-acceptance its difficult to be yourself when around others, favoring those against you as being right about you, and forgetting who you were prior to making mistakes in life, or failing to maintain positive momentum, reacting to others, not responding with ease, and behaving in a way befitting among those who attack the good characters of others, to their defense, doing yourself a disservice in life. Its important not to interfere with the progress of others in life, whenever one relationship ends, a new relationship cannot reach a point of amends, if there is trail of doubt concerning the fitness of your health, and mental health status, its when you are open to interpretation, you are more likely to be interpreted as worse off than you are, from your own standpoint, offered few reassurances from others, people will not know if you are well if they do not see or hear from you, and too many absences from social activities, gets assumed that you have reached a point of isolation, you have yet to realize, or a point of no return when it comes to your sobriety and recovery, leaving support groups is sign that you are not in need, and once you become in need after having left, and not continued to maintain your sobriety you life become more difficult upon returning, that is things may seem well leaving but sometimes its not until things become worse do you realize that you need help, its then that no support group can help rehabilitate you, and that’s the point you should try to avoid in life, having your options be limited in life to a few negative judgments of you, until an actual negative judgment of you is assumed and preferred rather than allowing you to move forward in life. So you maintain connections in life records of who past you have been associated to, is how you will be deemed as accepting of those who have caused harm to you or others, some do things to survive and are not deemed as culpable as those who knowingly use or misuse substances to their detriment in life, don’t do drugs to have friends in life, you should be able to socialize without succumbing to addictions in life, and anytime your behavior misrepresents those who are able to function without with use of substances, you get labeled the addict, your decrease in positive functioning or lack of enthusiasm toward activities that you used to enjoy, studying, gets judged as you being in the negative, that something is wrong with you, and that you deserve to be punished for not staying well, that’s how you lose privileges in life. Its not an attitude or a look seriousness, and its not a very approachable look to say the least, to appear professional and under pressures, from being bad, before you are able to explain the unrealized pressures you faced, along the way, the minute you go back out your life becomes worse. #dontdodrugs, stay in tune with what keeps you motivated in life, work to work, not for acceptance, and work to work, not for notoriety, and work to work, because you love what you do, and always stick to what youre good at, have faith in yourself, believe in yourself, you become more of a joke the more you rely for others to believe in you when youre not well, and the worse off you become as co-dependent on acceptances, the harder reality hits upon getting well and the more difficulty you have maintaining wellness in spite of your past.
If others think they can control psychosis via your description of the experience of psychosis, then they think if they can control you, and have knowledge of the ability to control you, that via their words, lead you back to work that matches those words spoken. That’s reading your writing, and meditating on portions of your writing when they think you have done someone else wrong in life, and everything else becomes worthless, that’s to justify a taking, as though you were in the wrong, are in the wrong, and have always been in the wrong, and while in the wrong, and under psychosis, or the impressions of others, gone, and by being able to find evidence that you are gone, hurt you while you are gone, and that’s living with disability, being controlled by others, when your higher ordered thinking gets misdirected or your wellness controlled by taunting, in a negative way affecting your best decision making, that’s sometimes how others, choose whether to be around you or not, able to tell when you are well, for some this condition is acceptable, once you self harm, its difficult to be trusted, once you let go, its difficult to go back to others, so long as others can argue that you hurt others, by not staying put, and not waiting, then they can argue you have fixated on a similar wrong, and by fixating on a similar wrong are now wrong, as having been attached to someone else, by choice, and by that choice now sick, to justify why you don’t feel good enough to date, as though by your own wrongs caused separations, or illness in others who then attacked you upon separation, and when gone, everything you do gets used against you, to determine whether you will be able to get well on your own, what keeps you going in life, and whether others have the power to control you, so long as you are controllable made upset, no one will trust you, the benefits of having mental illness, is that upon experiencing psychosis you cannot think, and upon not feeling well, if upset, your head burns, this is why they give mental illness and physical illness to those they deem to have tempers, so that they become immobile and not able to hurt themselves or others, that’s a purposeful disability to burn someone out in life, or to put someone out in life, or to not date until a person is well, or to mistrust someone who is well and argue that they are not behaving well or doing well or hooking up, as justification for their mental illnesses or stupidity in life, needing help from others is a caused condition, if you are not glowing social, talk to people, people think you are an angry person, and if you lack beauty think insecure as though you need affirmations to become beautiful or to feel beautiful some women are strong on their own and do not need boyfriends, its upon separations in life and upon being attached that others are given control and influence over you, via love.
The point at which you should stop talking is when you feel compelled to explain yourself, by that point you are worse off emotionally and only do yourself a disservice to explain how you are feeling, instead of allowing a moment of silence. The minute you become defensive you are deemed to be in the wrong, the minute you choose humor, over having class, and being well spoken is the minute you a deemed to have either done something wrong past, or are doing something wrong currently, to which your delusions take hold, as though (assumed) you think others are reading along reading your blog, or intended to communicate to those in your environment, those are the type of experiments done on bloggers, how they fair online, versus how they fair in public, and whether either world, brings them happiness, and what creates satisfaction in life, the wellness of those around them, or their own, to determine whether they are selfish, only care about themselves, and what is the cause for inability to perform, or lack of work output, that’s what gets measured upon going through your things, to determine whether you are of value, or if your value should be given to another more fit, to represent the set of ideals you write or wish to represent, you can only be yourself, you cannot preach to others or explain emotions, that you have not already been through yourself, the more your story gets changed the graver identity crises you suffer in life, made to empathize with those who do not think well of you and respond to them, or made to empathize with those who others feel sorry for as having been exposed to your presence as not well, and make you look like the odd ball out. This occurs whenever you begin a task, or take on a project that you are not prepared yet to handle, such as beginning a new job, or starting a new relationship before you are well, sometimes you do not have a choice in life and have to work, other times you are given time off, to rest recuperate and work when you are ready, many of lifes lessons are learned via the triggering of events in your life currently to teach you a lesson about for what reasons you were punished in the past, to see if you make the same mistakes in life, to figure out at what point you lose conscious awareness of the negative judgments of others, able to be yourself, and function and perform, and at which points you give up in life, and why, for what reasons you are able to maintain focus, and for what reasons others push you to do things you do not want to do, and what types of reactions those events produce in your life, wellness, or sickness, illness, or perspective, or simply just prove their poor judgments of you correct, a reject.
Usually by the following are you not respected in life, or is respect lost:
Its not just who you help that matters, affecting your health, but its what you do in order to maintain positive momentum, when coping with whatever mental health obstacles come between you and your ability to help others. Yesterday stopped by the LAPD Station in Santa Monica, to get life advice, and upon recommendation, was given two choices to get a mental health evaluation. I then went to the ER at UCLA, where I stayed for a couple of hours, before attending my Mother’s birthday. Its always before an explanation is provided that negative assumptions are made, and its during that time, when you are not aware that some know this and some know that and that, that it becomes clear to you that who is present does not know where you have been that day, or why you are not feeling well. Always get a medical evaluation, when you are not feeling well, that’s how to detect whether you have been harmed, and who has done that harm to you, be interviewed, and assessed as to your mental health, to determine whether you are at fault for your own mental health issues, whether these mental health issues were caused to you, whether you are well now, and suffering from something outside of the control of the hospital or LAPD, and whether you are capable of regaining control of your outlook. Its now 2019, and its hard for me to be out in public, I used to run outside everyday 2014-2017, and stopped running as much 2017-2019, I just started running again, I usually run every day on a good month, that’s how I lost weight, and that’s how I gained weight, when I stopped running. Don’t call me a “pervert” because you do not understand why I do not date, or how I became bicurious, that’s a body image issue, it really has nothing to do with sex. When you do not love yourself, its hard for others to love you, and when you cannot get love from others, and others are overstimulating you to get attentions in life, that causes one to feel love, keep yourself busy, self-stimulation is not the correct response to overstimulation, heckling, bullying, breakups, rejection, or mental illness, it only makes things worse, whenever you give in to sin, its your own mind that rots, whenever you give in to sin, its you who suffers at the benefit of others, who seek to put you down, create a situation where everyone thinks youre a low-life. That wasn’t the Homer joke, its that I was away at law school and had been so separated from my Father, that we never played golf together, that’s what golf lessons were for, I was too busy trying to marry my Ex, and then finished law school and get a job, never getting to a point of making my Father proud of me, until now. I don’t have Dad issues, Im very close to my parents, that’s not why people date older, you date by who likes you, that’s how dating works. Im a shy person, not girly in public, only with boyfriends. Everyone else, meets “little Ronnie” – Don’t put me out, by posting photos of me online, then cast me in a negative light, HRW was the company who suggested “genital mutilation” as a topic. I chose to focus on preventing gun violence and stopping school shootings, submitted a study to CU Boulder’s Human Research Committee connecting events, and offering a way out.
You cant reverse the aging process. Not to scare anyone, but my generation grew up on disc mans, and spiral notebooks, even up to college. That’s not to say that technological advancements havent helped they’ve just made life more complicated, with more information to process, this requires a better ability to stay agile in the workforce, able to check social media without tuning out, text back, without feeling like the timing is off, and then beginning again on our best timing. What is good timing? You can’t blame the times for what we didn’t have in the past, you can always do best with what you have in life, that’s how to look at things, as though there were no delays, as though we’ve always had time to fix whats needed to be fixed. The only difference between now and then, are the mental health issues, which weren’t as evident as they are now. There was fighting and there was discord, and school has always been extremely competitive, for grades, for boyfriends, and for maintaining friendships. The strong will always succeed, the good will always preserver, remind yourself of two things always: (1) what you have and (2) whats at stake. You cannot have things in life, or more of anything, if you are not aware of what you do have in life, without this realization its easy to end up worse off, thinking you are better than you are, get situated first, and allow the dust to settle, you may not be able to control your environment, but that doesn’t mean that your mental health needs to suffer in addition to the losses felt by others and yourself. (2) Whats at stake? If youre new to blogging, welcome, what was once an abstract past time, no one talked about, has now become a common phenomenon, people expressing themselves online, writing, and sharing photos from their lives, about their lives. Your reputation has everything to do with your mental health, it really has nothing to do with what is said about you, no matter how many times you fail socially or romantically, you will still be able to get jobs, you will still be able to have a lot of things in life, just maybe not people. Its all a matter of how you see things. What you have, whats at stake? Do not gamble away your privileges in life, being social, that’s not the solution, just like you would not bar crawl, and date, why we have Tinder, Bagels, eHarmony, Bumble, and other dating services now. What ages you? (1) Mental Health Issues (2) Drugs (3) Alcohol. The more youthful you look, the better your odds are for getting jobs and maintaining jobs, they say that looks don’t matter, but they do, not how pretty you are, but by how well you look, and feel inside out. That’s what its all about, not alluding in the abstract to ideologies, about life, and being read into to be guessed, from which foundations are your thoughts born for the good or for the bad. Its clear that whenever anything is built from something bad, theres a problem with ones foundation, the number of times you redirect criticism to match with those foundational issues and concerns, the more you as a website bring yourself down in life. Always stay positive, and steer clear of adjoining with issues, that are not your own. If you are not directly involved, then do not bring up issues, others do not think you are fit to lead qualified discussions about. *(Explanation): Dont hurt my website dont take down my banners, and dont blame me for [gun violence] because you put up a photo of an offender on my website on my magazine page, and took down my Pinterest Brady Campaign Ad, this is not anyones space, to cause commotion, risk. Others will hurt you in life, to see if harm occurs, sometimes people think that taking from you is the solution to punishing you, without regard for worsening your condition, or the condition of others. If I am well, why would anyone hurt me?
I would not have advocated for Brady Campaign if I was not a good person and not in good shoes. Just because I have experienced mental illness and mental health issues in the past does not give anyone the right to hurt my present abilities to work, or to bring about circumstances lack of sleep to prove causes for illness, as though their lives are in jeopardy past, when I was not in a leadership position online, nor in any leadership positions in real life. Once you attend meetings and decide to help that’s a commitment you make to care, aside from all others issue that people, have with you, that’s not a way out of turmoil, to pick up causes and support causes, as though everything is related to whom you’ve been associated to in the past, as impetus for caring, there were several school shootings while I was in law school, I have every right to care, and every right to be frozen, I think those were incidences that affected us all. Hurting people because you think they were the cause, famous at the time they were attending law school, or hurting people to trigger causes of your own, are your fault, if things do not go well, or if I get hurt, that’s the intended result, to see if hurting me causes school shootings, or if hurting me causes mental illness in others or suicide, Im not famous. I was supposed to work at AFM, but because I paid $900 and was not selected to begin the event, I went running on the beach and was scheduled to attend at a later date, on my way back from the beach someone was faced toward me, their behind by a lifeguard tower, that’s insulting, Im running for 2.5 hours. That was unacceptable, to target me as gay, Im not gay, that made me extremely uncomfortable and I left the beach. For what reaction? #stopsuicide, that’s not how to communicate by ganging up on people, or hurting people upon establishing new connections in life, or professional relationships, damage them, to prevent their ability to perform in life, to see if then, hurting them, causes additional harms to others, why I went to the LAPD & ER today. Stop causing mental illness, if its not an emergency its not an emergency, if someone is an advocate don’t hurt them that’s not funny, to hurt someone in public. Don’t retaliate.
Sometimes information known to few but not known to all is not helpful, that’s not the solution, the sharing of information inside enclosed spaces -that adds pressure to the provider of information, whether intended to be distributed, for sharing amongst a select few, or to figure out whats going on, in private, handle the issues that lie before them. Its not out of guilt we become sick, or others begin to feel sick, it always the sick who attack the well, to feel well themselves, sometimes to feel better, people fight that’s a normal process of dealing with emotions, taking those emotions out on others, its never okay to do so, not to take out angers others have toward you on yourself, or take out your anger out on others, when you become frustrated or upset by circumstances to which you have no control over. The minute you disseminate information to others, you are responsible for the management of that information. To clarify, or to make sense of what does not make sense to you, so that others may get a better sense of whats going on, to make better decisions for themselves and others. That’s the gift of reading and not reacting, you as the reader always have the benefit of interpretation. You as the reader to do not have the right to read further into the lives of others, beyond what information is made public, that’s not your right, not as associated to, not as connected to, and not as represented by. Theres a stopping point, that occurs, when you have to accept the present conditions of those doing their best, and accept that they did their best in the past, based upon the same informations that were given to them. As time goes on, information becomes clearer and clearer as communications become more clear, during times of turmoil, war, or controversy, expect that everything past will appear dramatic, that’s not being defensive, that is a normal process of getting an accurate read of how one has been hurt and by which means one is being hurt by others. We are not machines, and although we may be given meds, that does not give one an advantage in life over other to succeed or to function in life, that’s heart, and when you take and share the notes of others, because you think its deserved a loss of identity occurs, when someone else succeeds with information given to them, produced by another, not intended to be used by others to help them achieve the same in life, how you think is your business, its not necessary for someone seeing you to determine whether you think the way you do on your own, or you think the way you do based upon who you know, insights given, or people complying with your viewpoints in life, that doesn’t create strength, giving credits away to others, that creates weakness of opinions toward those who were able, and now not able to achieve in life, as discredited. We are all entitled to get lost from time to time, and share our journeys privately as we would in a diary, that’s not the business of others, to go through someones personal accounts to contribute to a movement against them, as though its common knowledge that a person is being put down in life, because others do not think by their choices in life are worthy of being famous or well known for their good deeds. I built a website not to influence the opinions of others or better judgments but to represent the fact that I am smart, I do care, and that I will always help others – even if I do not live long, even if I get tired, even if I get suicidal, even if Im bipolar, even if I struggle with addictions, even if I get dumped, even if I get let go, I will always be me.
You are what focal points come to mind. Sometimes when reading others, while focusing on yourself, you get hurt, that is by the negative assumptions you hold as to what others think, you may become stifled, treated as predictable, dont react in the negative, to anything not tangible, these are just thoughts at the get go, stay positive. As you write you get a better picture of what going on, as the writers condition improves, that wellness can be felt by all, not by shared understandings alone, but by sharing period, acceptance occurs eventually. Not all want to be read, its important not to study others, paranoia occurs when others think you are reading them, and understanding occurs when you write something that reflects accurately what they are feeling, its not important to think the same, but it feels good to make sense to others (modified 06-26-19 1:55pm). Of course all writers, are sensitive to the needs of their audience to feel just as safe if not safer than they already are, knowing that work is being done, and that your mental health issues, are in now way able to affect their mental health issues, by reading your writing. By your experiences, how you choose to remember your past, should have no impact on how others see their past, we are not all the same, just as you would not want anyone to affect your best decision making, dont affect the best decision making of others, based upon what you see as happening in life, or based upon what you see has happened in life, things change, so do people. You cannot control what people think, some will look at you and put bad things together, and some will look at you and see the good. There is no immunity that exists when helping any organization who assists others in the putting together of their lives. If you were first to report to the courts to get help, then you were first to confront the issues standing before you and behind you, and have begun the process of coping. Don’t expect anyone to be able to stand in your shoes and feel good about themselves, it takes a great degree of courage and resilience under stress to come forward and request for assistance when there are mental health issues around you, that you can explain, but do not wish to tell all about. If you have laid low, and wish to come forward the best people suited are those to whom you can confide in with confidence, not people who are willing to take sides, sides against you, and against others, if the topics or subjects are debatable and put the professional standards of others into question then best not to share about others. The stronger you get, sometimes the harder you fall, any creative stage is a building process, from one idea to the next until a whole picture can be painted from which others can view, a cohesive idea, not a plan. Those who are creative are poor planners, they have a very strong sense of faith in themselves, work horses, can be exposed to many things, and able to maintain a positive outlook. A disorganized state such as today usually follows the disclosure of private information in public, that’s not guilt inducing disorganization, or people inducing disorganization, sometimes it takes awhile to express yourself, be patient, not all people see the same.
Sometimes being better than means laying low, that’s not because you’ve done something wrong or because someone else has done something wrong, if you are given opportunities in life to achieve hired at Boulder DA #dontdodrugs, and trained as a Victim Advocate, do your best in spite of your failures, or needs in life, you will be forgiven once you correct behaviors that are causing others to not trust you, its usually a balanced perspective is preferred over one that’s too opinionated or contrary to the best interests of whomever is in your company. Whenever there is risk, there is no reward for furthering those risks, by putting yourself at harm, or trying to do anything bigger or better to prove any points, its likely your intentions will be viewed as for poor reasons, and have less than a lasting effect on the opinions of others around you, to have a positive influence in life, you have to be good, otherwise there are other jobs around, who will test your smarts, to prove your self-worth an intelligences in life, its not necessary who thought is was deserved to push you to your edges in life, but that’s usually to see if you snap, break, or fall, turn into something you are not, those who are good recover from injuries, due to pressures and stresses in life, its very difficult to help the mentally ill why it is ALWAYS recommended to call the police who have the best reads in life as to what is considered an emergency and weigh the risks of harms posed to those who have grown accustomed to fearing your best interests in the face of those who have put you down in life, usually at the time weighing their best interests its thought to be deserved and even more the so proving and telling based upon what you look like, deemed to be culpable of bearing faults that usually quell their worries about their own identities as having been associated to someone who now has difficulty caring for themselves, you can be hard on those who are not well, but not all recover, some living basic lives under the care of others, its not necessary to be bigger or better than, just to live life without interfering with the interests of others, and by who youre associated to does not relinquish your best interests from being found liable for the injuries of others as exposed to your life story, set backs, failures, or misfortunes, so long as you do not continue to expose others to the fears you have faced in life and forced to overcome the less others will feel enticed to fix or mold you to help you better yourself, listen to those who give you love in life, they are few and far between, most fair weather friends at this point, unforgiving of you when you are not well, extremely disappointed, its more than just body image concerns that come to mind, in the face of adversities correcting you public image.
V1 - with #dontdodrugs posts and likes. (Shared originally 06-25-19).
V2 - Short Version - First Paragraph Only (Shared 06-26-19) *Please Note: "Something"
Chapter 10 (First Draft Edit - Needs a Final Review and Edit) by Leslie Fischman [Please Note]: This Chapter is for a final draft of my Book to be released on Amazon.
Being able to observe differences and not become disempowered or attached to the issues of others, is a gift when to care is a choice, you can let go of, and continue on with your life unaffected by the lives of others. Just because you look like you don’t care does not mean that you don’t care, we are all better understanding of one anothers need to focus without impeding upon one anothers progress in life, what was once a joke, to see someone go from hyper to tired and focused to loving and mature to small, is no longer an experiment for the observation of others, to be readily used to prove or disprove the sexuality and behaviors of others as being good or bad at the time one was achieving whether deserved of accolades or not. From where is drive and energy born? Confidence. And where does confidence come from? By doing things that make you feel good, and not to the expense of others, feel less than, doing things that the community around you approves of, and does not offend the livelihoods of others, for you to feel good. When others are not in appreciation of your hard work or work ethic, do not be offended by those who do not believe in you in life, or think that you are the problem contributing to their unhappinesses in life, so long as you allow yourself to continue to be manipulated by others, the less strong you will appear, and the more likely others will be to favor the interests of those who are not feeling well, and blame you as though the existence of you and youre well being purposefully affects others, or that the existence of you influences the behaviors or moods of others, that’s assuming one influences others, and that’s assuming one has the power of influence over the wellness of others, assuming they are listening and as affected feel less than, that attributing the wellness of someone who is assumed to not be well, as contributing to the lack of wellness among people, that’s misidentifying someone who is well, as not well to blame them for the condition that others are in, if you have been through the process of recovering form mental health issues, that does not make you an advocate, you may have had a personal and trying experience in life, but that does not make you strong enough to reverse the conditions of those who are not well and help make them better, that’s Gods job, to control outcomes, and oversee the potential for positives to occur in spite of being exposed to bad things in life, bad people, or bad ideas, God fixes the environment to which we adapt to, why its important to maintain faith, so that once you become well, you stay well, so long as you lack faith in the ability to overcome illness, don’t expect God to fix you, it is an unimportant argument in life, to whom receives credit for the wellness of others, as humans we are all required to adapt to our surroundings and adjust our settings, what was once a gift in life, to be animated, and stand out from the pack, is now a gift available to all, wellness and a strong belief in the humans condition to improve upon adapting to others, once declared bad. Why its important to be good, after you get declared as bad, and forced to depend on your surroundings and others for acceptances in life to move forward, that’s just insecurity. You are only privileged in life to feel confident without insecurity so long as you are not dependent upon others, and able to make decisions for yourself, trust is a separate issue based upon reputation, if others do not trust you because you have self-harmed, then don’t self-harm.
When relationships stop working out, it is assumed that one side thinks they are better than, to the defense of those who are able to rise above animosities in life, and do not hold grudges upon others, when they become worse off on their own, without a companion in life, its harder to go back and date, after you’ve been alone awhile, and especially after a bad break up, always maintain positive rapport with others, you can be forgiving of others, for waiting, but don’t be expected to be forgiven if you do not stay chaste and unable to hook up, when youre not feeling well, that’s the double standard, expected to be available, and only available upon being good, once you are bad, that makes it difficult to be in relationships and to hook up and or stay in the relationships, once you are not well, that’s the difficulty with having mental health issues, is being able to date, only when you are well are others attracted to you, and likewise able to share similar compassions for others, and share yourself with others, that’s not the same as sharing your life, illness does not occur in the same way. What is mental illness? Its not just going backwards that’s the problem, its going backwards and misreading the past, to think that others were communicating to you with knowledge that they were hurting you, or with expectation that you would later become hurt, to their defense, what now sounds snark, at the time was just how they communicated, whether they were testing for love to receive affirmations back in life, or whether they were hurting you because they felt it was deserved to make you wait, and not date monogamously, its your choice to stay, and if youre not ready to date, and have reason not to date, then figure out what hurt you, and try to resolve those feelings of hurt so that you are able to date or give love again to others, work is not love, and its not through communication you feel bonded to others or apart of, that’s not the solution to feeling good, or looking better than, the best way to feel good is by being good, once you are bad drink or do drugs it makes it harder for your problems to be perceived as caused, and the more likely you are to be assumed at fault for your own problems in life. What attracts negativity? Whenever you are speaking or behaving in a way that you think is normal or comical, you have a high chance of being offended to your face or corrected as not being normal, and upon being corrected depending on how you respond deemed mentally ill or not, as a deficit to those you have mental health issues, and the benefit to others knowing whether someone has mental health issues, is to identify who lacks a threshold of trust, who is easily manipulated by what others think change, and who is weak emotionally, shrinks, or defensive at their own expenses in life, and responds uncharacteristically of someone good, and looks like someone capable of doing others harm once deemed not normal. That is psychosis, not being able to shift gears, and thinking until one becomes sick, or defending oneself until others misread your past, worse than you have misread your past by interpretation, and proves you wrong in life, as knowing you had mental illness, and still engaging with others, knowing you had mental health issues, mental health issues occurring while drinking are not the same as mental health issues on their own, once it is deemed that there is something wrong with you, that you cannot reverse, then that condition only worsens, no matter what meds you are on, depending on how many people believe you are mentally ill treat you as mentally ill, until you are able to respond normally, under any conditions, not matter how well you feel physically.
Whenever you are not feeling well, theres a higher chance of people being accusatory you, to claim that you are a by product of your own indecision making or mistakes in life, choices. Don’t put down someone who is already down in life, and make things about something theyre not. That’s using intelligence provided and making someone of less value, and hurting their ability to earn a wage in life, by hurting their esteems, or their reputations, or records. Everyone is responsible for themselves in life, that means making good decisions for themselves and others. If you leave a relationship, don’t go back, to explain why, if you fly to DC for two weeks, and drive to Palo Alto, and Las Vegas, you probably need more alone time and were left alone waiting too long, its okay to give spaces in life, but as a woman its not okay to take spaces in life, that’s the main lesson, when it comes to providing unconditional love and support to others, as soon as you leave, and if you drink without them, get blamed for anything wrong that happens to you, and if they know what happens to you when you were out alone, they will test you again to see if you are at fault, you have to be well, in order for others to be attracted to you in that way, past the point of good, its harder to find matches in life. You cannot expect people to stay well forever, stay thin, stay smart, perform at a high aptitude, and be able to earn their highest potentials in life. Its all about staying positive, life is not about sex, so to be demoralized and downgraded to someone who does not value themselves is wrong to assume of someone who did not start dating until college, without experience hooking up and dating. Its hard to have normal relationships after the point of experience mental health issues, why hesitant, others should be more understanding post-2009, once you self-harm (ie attempt suicide) its everything past that point in time that you have to prove your self-worth, your inner drives always remain the same in life if for good purposes you try hard, you will succeed. Its when people lose faith in you, or those who have no faith in you, affect you, their opinions of you should not matter, you need not prove yourself to anyone in life, its important to always maintain positive rapport, its those who love you who matter most, its not necessary for everyone to love you in life, so long as you keep moving forward good will come into your life.
Today is a down today, everyones light seems to be out, it happens, this is just a normal process of recovery. Don’t fill your plate to high, that’s not how to get well, be able to do a few things well, before adding more to your schedule, its okay to slow down in life, taking on less in life, is not a sign of apathy, everyone is more understanding now than they were then. You are a product of what facts, and experiences of others, you allow to affect you upon hearing, sometimes, cutting off contact with sources of negative input is best, that’s not just ignoring issues, surrounding hate, but its not become tied down to issue in life that aren’t your own. You cannot understand people like putting on a costume, that’s not empathy, and you cannot understand others better, the more things in common you are able to identify between them and someone else bad you know, or someone good you know. Life is full of ups and downs, not everyday will be a good day, there are limits to wellness, you cannot expect those who are inexperienced to be able to perform under the type of pressures that exist now for leadership positions, I think punishing people was a good thing, higher standards, and fewer people bossing others around like they know better, following your intuitions and figuring out life for yourself, is sometimes the best remedy to feeling stifled or limited in life, the skys the limit.