Introduction (Add: LYS 12, 13)
By: Leslie Fischman
I’ve learned much about mental illness throughout the years, but especially while achieving well, are you reminded of where you have been in life. Every experience in life teaches you a lesson about value and time. When you are aware of how to manage your time, and are doing well things not only go smoothly but life passes you by uninterrupted. You can only go with the flow, once you have mastered your time management skills, otherwise, you get stuck, in what seems like procrastination but is really just lack of motivation and drive in life, not all successful people are driven, success is not a product necessarily of who surrounds you or by what you have done in life, but is much about staying positive in the process of living your life. We have memories in life, not to be scripted as remembered as poignant, that just reflects feelings of loss or fear of loss whenever anything poignant is established, that can demonstrate a break in a relationship or a forced memory to trigger recall of your past to see if true, that give power to the one creating a story rather than the one living their life as within a story. Everyone protects people differently from harm, and some think it justified to put others down to protect themselves, as not knowing what work has been accomplished by someone who does the same. There are a lot of changes you go through in the process of self discovery its usually when you are not paying attention that you are made to look different without you knowing and by the time you realize what has happened its too late, harm is never justified, and if others have already retaliated or become territorial to their own belief, well then just let them be, never respond to anyone who is negative toward you, no harm is justified especially not anyone claiming victim, when things do not go well in life its by connections and connections broken and knowing what causes discomforts in life, sometimes things occurring in private when made public are uncomfortable, don’t turn yourself into a reject conforming to negative opinions of you that you forget your life, the good years lived, and the time you weren’t caught up in the troubles of others, or your own troubles in life. I thought it was wise to make a pen name, not to use my own name for my writing, that was to protect my identity and it turns out that my own name was put through the system, irreparable, my identity. It takes years after something negative is said about you and set in stone, you don’t realize how affected you just don’t feel good, and certainly anything that makes you not feel good, you would think was intended to not make you feel good as deserved, but you never think twice about anything when you are hurt or heartbroken, you usually just focus then on what you are doing well in life irrespective of the opinions of others. Never assume that people understand why they are treated the way they are treated, as though a confirmed identity of them has been established, we cannot be matched with all, and certainly there is no type when it comes to love as a general rule of thumb you pick who picks you not the opposite if you are a woman, otherwise you look desperate or as insulted a reject, not special. People generally only want to connect or be social and physical with people who have desired traits that they themselves do not have. I have always been a star athlete and student not the prettiest, but certainly not of no value, I’ve always had high self esteem, that’s generally where confidence comes from, being good at what youre good at and because you are good at what your good at you shine, that’s in your realm of expertise, to know yourself well enough, its not expected that others know you well in order for you to feel whole or to live a good life, some people were not meant for closeness and bonding, its by who is sharing is empowered and vice versa the listener learns but that does not mean that the listener is not affected by what is heard or overheard. I found a term in college vicarious trauma, and shared my research and findings in an honors thesis, that took a semester to write. When people think its about them or reasons for conducting research as about them, take personally as though speaking from my own shoes how I felt in the first person, is an assumption, I am not a judgmental person only a judgmental person would be insulted by a title and think its about counselors insulting their client, as affect, take insult to the term “vicarious trauma” as applied, its not a subject existing why it was a thesis a new discussion and with new discussion further research is conducted to help the parties affected. A lot of people work and volunteer and for whatever reasons do not stay, this was a research study shared with me by another counselor, I had written a paper one semester on hotline counselors, and continued to research and get additional approvals to write a longer paper on a paper I wrote for class with research approval. It takes time to develop and learn, its not easy college, you have to learn and perform, as you get older, time does not move so slowly, and anything new goes slowly, for anyone with experience time moves fast, this is something that’s not generally understood, but is obvious looking back, as through your own life lived, how time moves, everyone is different. As you get older you mature making wiser decisions, no one really wants to know about your personal life, and its really no ones business who has liked you in the past, if youre a different person now or a reject then of course those who liked you in the past would be offended or not feel comfortable as attached to someone who is now a reject, of course those who are picked are not rejects but strong people, independent, and loving able to give love, if later in life they are not the same person, well that means theyre only human, not everyone finds a match in life, and its hard to maintain your good health and give love to others, that’s not what life is about, giving love to others, finding love, but about what value you add to your life experience wise, if you do things to attract others attentions, or behave in a way that attracts attention then you are likely to be deemed as someone with low self esteem and worthy of being devalued, its all a matter of what kind of attention you draw towards yourself you are judged by, not all separations in life are due to fighting and rejections sometimes its about managing your own health, its not your responsibility to take into consideration the private lives of others, or be affected by their health, unless youre a doctor that’s not your responsibility, most people get turned off by those who are not normal or weird, looking sounding and behavior wise, deemed as not intelligent, and thought contagious, its really a matter of how you feel on the inside, does it make you feel small or less then, then surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself, its all a matter of reaction, not a matter of sexuality or attractiveness, people who attract or engage in physical touching or relationships are people who are well, its not by how many lives you have touched that give you experience in life but about how well you are in spite of allowing others to share their life with you, as a woman, you take a risk, being open with others making others feel good, and we hope that the benefit goes both ways, usually upon complaining or disclosure, are you deemed as someone unappreciative once declared a reject, as deserved and whether or not you have marriage or kids, deemed to not be of value even if in the work force, second guessed as defective or rejected as possessing undesirable traits, or loved just the same, eve if hooked on exes, or bearing a defect. Love certainly is not the solution then to cure an already defective condition and everytime love is given, not only do you look bad, but once a reject the others are left as perfect as you are further from yourself, and the further away you are from yourself, the further away you are from realizing your potential, I think physicality is gifted to those who focus on physicality, and those who focus on intelligence and bettering themselves by education learning or achieving in life awards for affirmation, then that’s what makes them feel good not their looks as looks are a strength of the well, you can do your best to manage your health but don’t highlight your bad years to encourage questioning of your relationship statuses and attractions, being overweight does not mean butch and not being able to phot well does not mean butch or jealous or negative or absorbing negativity as directed toward them it could just mean that someone who does not look well uncharacteristically because as not well was a way to discourage bad behavior or drug use, that’s called being a good friend, I had many good friends in high school. Depression is about self esteem, when you get rejected don’t take it personally, when you find out later why or how come or told who you’ve been replaced by, just let things go, don’t years later, bring things up as a premise for why mentally ill at that point in time, they will just attack your character based upon what they think bothered you to see if you are telling the truth about your wellness and looks, and keep testing you until you can no longer repair yourself, and actually look and become a reject, that’s people on the outside thinking they can control the inside of a conversation or underlying dialogue as to be about them or by what they remember, every audience is different in life, and sometimes if you don’t hear from someone, that does not mean that they are someplace else in life, worse off, usually when someone is focusing on themselves its to better themselves for the job and friends, return to socialization. If a return to socialization cannot exist based upon negative judgments reported as occurring outside a set of interactions than those ideas are furthered on a smaller scale, with the initial incident of heartbreak rehashing itself, you cannot treat someone as a reject based upon what they hear or think that someone is not smart because their point of view is different than their own point of view, or attack the character of people as knowing and not disclosing what they know as playing along with jokes their whole life, some see and realize how individuals were affected, and this promotes positivity in those who understand jokes, the jokes that people make about others, should never affect the person to whom the joke is made about, if you find out much later in life the premise for the jokes, then you realize by lawsuit and punishment, which imitations in life, promoted which dialogues interpretations and furthered stories about others, until those ideas poor of others came to fruition, that is turning someone well into a reject. I think that all people are intelligent on the inside of any story, having a unique perspective if you think my hand in life is better than how everyone else felt as viewing from the outside, then don’t switch places with me as deserved, to then make me feel like Im missing something in life, or because not on point, its my responsibility to stop of help those who get lost in the understandings of others, never lose faith, its not by who you know its by what you know based upon your education not based upon what you hear, that just affects your memory, how people try to become special or apart of your life, before you have even been given an opportunity to get well, not everything is instant in life, it can only be lived once through, don’t treat people as you judge them, you have no idea what they’ve been through or why they look the way they do, always trust that people heal get better over time, and that the more good time they have the more opportunities in life they are afforded to start over or live a new or better life.