Where does your sense of pride lie? Is it in your success, is it in how you have overcome failure, addiction, breakup, job loss, setback, embarrassment, punishment, bullying, grade drops. What will be the characteristics that define you later in life? Which is half of what you say, and is comprised of half of what others have to say about you, based on what they have read about you, what has been disclosed (no matter what circumstance you have ever been in which made you feel like it was necessary to disclose, defend, or shine light on a issue, you are not comfortable with sharing about yourself or others), what will the special consideration if any taken with regards to your privacy interests be respected, and what would cause anyone to violate your right to privacy in the pursuit of what benefit, good knowledge, or proof of where you have been what your experiences have been like, what you have accomplished, how much work have you gotten done, that is ultimately something that you cannot fight about later in life, what is known about you, disclosed in private in your computer or phone, or what is later made to be said out-loud, to all your following and to all members of your audience. Ive never experienced mental illness in my life, any addiction left untreated, or have had any issues with drinking too much, or dating outside of monogamy. What is the basis for others lowering their tolerance with regards to how they feel about their own interests, usually has to do with them not respecting your space, which could mean not being nice to you, being cold to you, reading your blog, not being appreciative of the platform you have built for yourself, to speak in favor of what everyone else is going through trying to adjust to the times, not feel out of loop, or be too hard on themselves not to see life as difficult, or any problem unsolveable. You cant discriminate people from reading your blog, and although that may be an energy you are choosing not to focus on, its not worth mentioning how you would feel is someone did not like you and was reading your blog, that’s something you don’t have control over and there is nothing I can do about someone knowing me, who I don’t want to be all up in my business, searching through all my posts, or creating some type of story for themselves about how they have been affected by my blog, as though I have ever chosen to live a life in solitude, without any input from anyone, no help from anyone, no job, no career, and not be able to make enough money to house and provide for myself one day, that’s extremely stressful. So now blogging is not for fun, its not a fancy job in place of a fancy job, its not a fancy career to be identified as pretty or likeable, its not a fancy job in order to get married and pregnant, its not a fancy job to have friends that are women, its not a fancy job to attract any clients or try to help anyone that I do not have experience helping in life, or be put in a state of mind (mentally and physically) to not be able to care for myself or another human being, its not my job to explain what causes mental illness, its not my job to explain what causes jealousy, its not my job to psychoanalyze anyone who doesn’t like me, its not my job to run a political campaign over breakups and identity and who is who and who deserves what in life, and its not my job to represent anyone, to defend anyone, to speak on behalf of anyone, or to talk about anyone from my life, who I am not in contact with, and make anything that I have to say about anyone who does not like me. What you do in life is your business and is none of my business what anyones reservations are about me, my life, or what sharing my life exposes anyone else to about life that they cant already see for themselves. What amazes me is how funny everyone thinks it is to be purposefully mean to me or discriminatory to me, just to see how it affects me, whether I can tell anything being done is being done for reaction from me, or to cause lawsuit or complaint, if that’s the case explains why I don’t have anyone in my life, I don’t talk to anyone, and I don’t date anyone, because its not worth it to me, to have anyone of value in my life, who others are going to fight with me over, who possesses their heart, or who is allowed to be close to them, love them, or be trusted in anothers care. So lets all be understanding of one another, that we are all good people, if I was not a good person, I would be dead, have committed suicide already, probably would’ve been beat up, or fired, or dumped, or failed out of law school, be stuck in jail, be suicidal in jail, have been sued, have moved to another state, would not be able to run outside, would not be allowed to blog, think about it. Everyones important, we get that, everyone made money, everyone has big homes, everyone owns stocks, everyone has jobs, everyone has kids, everyone loves tech, everyone has a macbook, everyone has itunes, everyone loves music, everyone loves movies, everyone thinks theyre hot, everyone has sex, everyone eats burgers, everyone knows OJ, everyones been to court, everyone sues everyone, everyone thinks theyre smart, everyone is privileged, everyone thinks everyone is shady, everyone thinks theyre fat, everyone thinks theyre shy, everyone thinks theyre old, everyone thinks everyone else is mentally ill, everyone doesn’t understand bipolar, everyone drinks, everyone thinks drugs are stupid, everyones seen someone naked, everyones been naked, everyone wears bathing suits, everyone text messages, everyone videos life, everyone has taken a selfie, everyone used to be young and healthy, everyone thinks theyre funny, everyone wants to drive a nice car, no one can afford a big home, no one can afford rent, everyone takes time getting used to, everyone remembers what school was like, no one likes violence, everyone screams at eachother, everyone loves their family, everyone dates, everyone worries that everyone is racist, everyone thinks that everyone has it easy in life. I think we are getting somewhere finally ….
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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