The Order of Acceptance ...
Its never too late to reverse a negative opinion of you and to better yourself, there will be a lot of things in life that you do not have control over, such as other peoples thoughts, judgments, predispositions, senses of humor, hindsight, outlook, foresight, and reservations of you. Everyone is entitled to protect themselves from harm, but never to an allowable extent as an expense to others, particularly those who they do not agree with, or find mindful enough, or too arduous to care for or listen to, timing is everything, and sometimes it is too late, to undo, what has been done to your image, reputation, or what you looked like previously in front of others, with their confidences held high, upon you becoming lost or disillusioned in life. We all find our sense of peace on our own good timing, there is no requisite series of event that need to occur, or steps taken in order for a broader understanding of life to occur, not everyone similarly connects to others, stories about the lives of others, or the meaning derived from their experiences, found essential or important as applied to their own lives, we are all different, and things should remain that way, never holding any prejudice over others by what kind of person one is, or by ones standing, ever feel intruded upon confidence wise or success wise, by the demeanor or confidences held by others, even if you consider them of lower standing in life, be threatened by, this you learn over time, what offenses you are willing to accept, upon being looked at, and which things not to read too much into in life, as it comes to others predispositions in life to hold their heads high, even if yours is not held high. I can now disclose that Im Half Filipino, and my Mom is one of 7 children, one of her brothers died, when a book shelf fell on him, in the Philippines, she and her family moved here, when Marshall Law was declared, and fled dictatorship, Emelda Marcus, the Wife of a President was known for her shoe collection and stayed at the Waldorf Astoria I think, they said they would put her flag up, when she was in town. I visited the Philippines once and saw the house that my Mother grew up in, it now has a mini flatscreen on the wall, she grew up with 5 Brothers and one Sister, who remarried, and the first children of her Ex-Husband, were like older Cousins to me growing up, even though we are not related by blood, they're from Texas, and one of the first to come to my home on Harvard when I was tweeting, to check on me, and drove me to her house, an apartment in the same complex I think, of where I was forced to give a blow job, to someone I rejected at the bar, going through a breakup, followed me outside, and talked to me all the way back to my car, then convinced me to hang out and "play a game of professional responsibility" the game did exist surprisingly, then let me pick a movie I picked "Snatch" had never seen it before. He made a drink for me, I remember there was ice, and it was powdery at the bottom, I figured it was from the broken ice from the fridge, but I could be wrong. I wasnt drunk, I always have two drinks only at the bar and ask them to serve it to me light, with less vodka. Afterward I was hospitalized somewhere in the valley I dont remember going to the ER, just remember, sitting outside at tables and them opening a box of cigarettes, and smoked. You cant go backwards in life, I had met a Techie in January but we didnt exchange numbers until I met him 5 more times, then by the 5th time after he kissed my cheek exchanged numbers, asked his friend for his number, after he kissed me once downstairs, and once upstairs smoking, then left with another girl, embarrassed I started hitting my head, and someone barfed onto the bar. Exactly where I was seated the day someone on the right corner of the bar, tried to talk to me, and told me he was a UCLA Law Student, and the next time I walked to the bar, was seated outside with another girl, I think they were studying, and he looked but didnt say Hi. (January 2013). "Don't play me #lesson." I remember wanting to stop, and he made me keep going with the blinds cracked open, and I ran to the bathroom and barfed in the sink when he came in my mouth. I dont even give blow jobs to boyfriends I date monogamously, ask #robdebakey and #aaronbrown, maybe once each. #worldpeace. So when I saw Aaron in Yorba Linda interrogated, starting punching my head, and then we never saw eachother again, he sent flowers and I was despondent, watching CSPAN everyday.
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