The good news is you don’t have to be emotionally invested in anything I have to say, as it does not and probably does not concern you, my well being, that would be sharing, for compassion or tribute be paid, to me or whomever condolences or attentions seem sought after and for. That would be sharing for the purposes of directing attentions of people to people, or for the purpose of directing attentions to what I deem beneficial to the health or understandings of others, that I am yet privied to create yet online, sharing the work of others, “individual compositions” on websites run by “individuals” for the promotion of “their own work.” That would be subjecting people to unwanted attentions in life, unwanted meaning “a heavy energy of 17M in traffic, on rotation, that come and go as they please, in regular multiples per month on average visited, some 5,000 visitors, mostly unique each month, but the same number of people visiting each month.” There is no set standard of care, however once it has been publicized, that becomes the recognized standard of care, based upon previous treatments made known in public. That is how talking about ones own life does one a disservice, to complain, or share about a difficulty managed on ones own, and the outcome, that you cannot control in a bigger multiple in life, as quickly as rumors spread, and as justified as people may feel having overheard your story, the majority will always lean to the side of who is well, that is who is at ease, the side favored, over an emotional side, a side not yet found, or still overcoming difficulties, and depending on how long it takes for someone to recover, faith is lost, and separations further justified by pre-establishing harms, to further prevent someone from rehabilitating themselves in public, and improving the conditions of their own life, and ability to get along with others, if on a small scale shared, with the capacity on a larger scale to be experimented with. Ive never permitted anyone other than the government to take on any kind of supervisory role in terms of my health, my care, my well being, my recovery, or view my decision making skills, overtime, and judge me overall, on the basis of what I say, whether leading to better insights, or misleading to poorer insights. That is the value of an opinion these days, depending on how you choose to live your life, small minded, minding your own business, or as affected “insulted” “taunted” “ridiculed” “bullied” how big do your problems become and how much do you have to share online, to articulate that you have addressed all fears, of or concerning you as mentioned by you, and that the responsible authorities have been informed, of the conditions I am under hearing voices, without knowing why, as though they have justification as to why? Thinking Im gay “calling me pervert” and only feeling better about what they have said or justified, if I watch porn and masturbate, to illustrate a caused condition bicuriosity, beginning while living in Westwood. We all have insecurities one of which are looks, and one of my biggest insecurities is what my “vagina” looks like. That’s a feminine issue, not a psychological issue, or for question as to my self-care routines, sexual history, femininity, or what resulted in breakups, what my “vagina” looks like. Whats also of concern is what “my face” looks like and what my “voice sounds like” and what causes my octave to change, my face to change, what brings out my feminine side, what causes me to sound like a tomboy, and other age old questions of why a woman is the way they are, and at what point a woman is no longer treated as a woman, if they can be defined as gay, then put down in life, as having caused their own mental health issues, upon attraction to the opposite or same sex and why. What causes love? Its an acceptance for another, its not a lets touch bodies type of love, that’s not love always. Men are a “lets touch bodies” when I accept you, that’s how they are, they only feel loved “if your body touches theirs” and they only respect you for “as long as you stay” once you leave, they relinquish themselves of all responsibility for you, even if something bad happens to you, make a concerted effort to not be responsible for you present condition as anger is expressed toward you by them, upon being out alone writing in your phone, it doesn’t matter how much the times have changed, or how important I am to others, if I want to know what the world is like now, after having attended law school, smarter, and separate from all friends and boyfriends, I have that right to see how I am around people, and get some people time. Im a people person, I enjoyed going out, can talk to everyone, a social butterfly, however because I got done by men I was social with, whos acceptance by me, made them want to “touch bodies with me” I as a result, no matter what I was going through, was made to look worse, devalued.
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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