I have therapy today at 4pm, and will do my best to stay positive if I share online, and without reference to moments when I have failed in managing my own life, and gotten sick or suicidal, or rejected as bipolar, and do my best to be in a condition, that does not worry others, or make them think less of me or others, and know that self-harm isn’t helping, and that writing or telling ones story is nothing to panic about, if I have lived a good life, and have worked hard all the years to my life, and have done my best to be positive, then there is no reason, why I should be convinced that my life is ending, or should end, or blame anyone if my life ends too soon, I know that my health is in my hands, not in the peoples hands, and that if I need help, can talk to a therapist, or go to the hospital, if I cannot fix my condition myself. This probably looks like a don’t wait until its too late, I think I have always done my best to be helpful, without intimidating others, or making anyone feel less than, kept things light, positive, and if you later arrive to a more serious condition of writing, that just means more is expected of you now. You set your own standards in life, and not all standards we live by or go by is by any book in life, and especially not governed solely on my legal education, or sociology degree, there is a such thing, as applying those skills, and demonstrating what you have learned in life, perform. I may be on IMDb but I am not an actress, I have no training or knowledge in how to act, nor understand fully the art of acting and memorizing lines, I just know I enjoyed writing on Twitter, and had a positive experience writing there, and it does not matter where I write, no matter who I am connected to, and no matter what energies are overhead, if I cannot stay well, as I have discussed before, maybe in private, then things don’t go well for me politically, become a disappointment, not a source of inspiration, or lasting insight, if what I have to say does not make me feel better, if I keep getting sick, was to argue that my work product is defective. Obviously you live life and you share as you live life, and when things get to be too much thoughts are lost, and I have no one to rehabilitate me back through the process of feeling good again, sounding well again, or with enthusiasm read, run everyday challenge myself to go on long runs, and not especially if everything is seen as a “cover up” or “defense” to things known privately but not shared publicly, as though its by secreting information that trust is made. No that’s how trust is lost, when something is known about you privately, and expects you to pretend to be well in public, Im not a politician, therefore this is me performing, and if Im not well, I now know that that’s a condition or series of thoughts to discuss with my therapist. I know that my goals for wellness don’t matter to anyone elses goal planning abilities in life.