Its really not a big deal, accepting of you supportive, and if mentioned later hurtful to be talked about, because that was them giving you all their love and support and you still did not perform to your best, blame it on addiction, or simply not being impressive enough that’s without a paycheck in life, siteindices.com made a projected paycheck of $1,137,302 (11-23-20), if I knew how to earn a living blogging, I added myself to IMDB because they showed up in my following made known on Twitter Analytics, is how entertainment folks got bundled into two plans, one job at Cizo.com, one job in Film, Flyers then a Membership meeting and general hashtag picked, I think with all the other things going well for everyone else, it was viewed as a risk to publicly support a cause they thought was a chess move, no my heart was in it, 100% dedicated, why, because I know sociology and its fixable, no grassroots if nos and or maybes about it, who wants to be told how it is, by a bunch of criminals who don’t know the value of their handed to freedoms in life to just work and live a normal life, that’s the fast life running out of time, not me, just my face looks like it happened fast. I actually just started monitoring my face more closely, its really complicated really not in words, really how I feel, really my face, body, and mind, and really me, negotiating with hate that is voices heard inside of me, before my face changes when made to feel bad, funny how that happens, everyone strong except for you, like they did the right thing then and now is no different, equally a disappointment, which is why I cannot blog, one its painful for me, two I don’t have a cell phone and computer now, three my mom is surveying the harassment Ive been reporting to a detective and if her faith is lost in me disappointed how stupid I was at the time talking to companions online filming, in conversation, fun, then I guess it wasn’t worth being social at all, again, my loss, not theirs, that’s reverse empowerment, to hurt me like Im easy to find stand out and for good reasons thought hurt me, to prove bad reasons are by anothers feelings toward me, then solve your own crimes, catch your own offenders, attract your own audiences, write your own speeches, be held to crazy standards of agreements, and lose you wit, personality, and demeanor to disappointment inflicted by a side thought better than to cause death to my Father and suicide to me (self-harm, which was a condition Ive been hospitalized for 9x, in order to prevent self-harming, that’s the first moment of disillusionment, Ive since learned to deal with it staying at home and resting, and there is no amount of on or awake or smart that can undo that hurt, being blamed for losses including one at home, that’s a low blow, after FIRES, HOUSES BOUGHT, LOST RESPECT, then figure life out for yourselves, complain less, prosecute less for fun, and take your own lives seriously, without being too critical of anyones jokes or usages of humor in life, to be about something else, or someone else, not saying anything that works for anyone, not in agreement to, and that’s a good speech, thought to be stupid, which once worked, but no longer makes sense, so write your own treaties and agreements, about life and death, and don’t hurt those well, to see what bad happens or becomes of me, Im living until Im 80 whether you like or not, with my last name, and I don’t give a F about your career, your love life, your friends, or your family either, because none cared about mine, to pay the common courtesy of age being a factor, not push me over the edge, to create a loss at home, as though its my condition that breaks hearts, no one f-king cares, Im independent, was strong and was supposed to work and provide for myself, and because no one identifies me as woman, that is why men turn around and play victim to me as though Im insensitive, then go F someone else, DONE! You can convince people to live, or you can cause pain to those who are still here, its YOUR CHOICE! No one wants to take responsibility for giving me a hard time, had I known that everyone was vaguely talking $hit and casting blames and playing hero empress, then I should have not punched my Brother, who was told to take care of us, and because of what he went through hes not strong enough for politics, he has a good life, and making me sick, doesn’t help, I just become a lost cause not made it. They don’t listen when I say stop, they think Im some primadonna princess who f-king cares what people think, listen if that were it, then I wouldn’t f-king be bipolar or self-harm, it must mean Im done, and giving up in life, if I cannot withstand criticism, and that because hurting me, prevent me from being able to care for others, and at the expense of being a source of stability warmth at home, caused pain to be associated to, someone they don’t need to be hated or made fun of as not smart, working hard. So if I make a millon dollars next year, after moving to smart site, a website I was so proud of but never ready to present and rave to my parents about, became something else, that’s not how fame happens, by sex tape jokes, and if youre making fun of her, your making fun of me, and Im flying to Persia to explain. You immediately get sick the minute your not baller, treated as a weak link, you know what if that’s the case, and everyone out of balls, and playing victim or whimp to the struggles of eachother then no one should blog and pretend to be tough, because this isn’t what life is about, its about providing wellness, being well, you actually don’t have to run that hard to lose 27 pounds, I just lost 27 lbs during COVID, walking. Have fath, this isn’t meditation, you can f-king leave if your head hurts, and its time for me to pray and be quiet Im obviously in the “she doesn’t stop” lane or “she doesn’t know when to stop” ask UCLA? I got bad grades, then sent to rehab, off all meds, my brother called me a pillhead home from rehab the second month with a car, and started punching my head and went nuts and slammed my head into a persian home wall, my Dad said dont break your glasses, and held me to the bed my Brother was in shock smiling, and put me into a headlock once home after drinking, slammed my head to the ground and couldnt breathe, told him "Michael I can't breathe" and he stopped because I brandished my bike helmet at him, the times are tough and image is about respect, not everyone up making fun of you or your family, like we arent human, some cannibalistic non-stop indiana jones adventure, shopping cart down the bridge humor, who are you f-king that is making you so f-king happy about life, and where the F do you work, get a life! Grow up!
10 Year Plan: (mymollydoll): Stay alive hired a detective no socializing, sober, stay home, work from home, or school. Video: *Shouting "he doesnt fucking love me, he doesnt f-cking know me" make yourself famous and suing ICANN, thats identity theft provoked bad decision making following a loss of control, then something bad, then sickness to President Trump, these are real human beings and they cannot remain strong, so long as you are making fun of me a US NAVY Applicant, like Im some sex whore made of something stronger than a Woman, I already do F myself what the F do you need me for! I can't even feel DICK anyways, and if there is no love, then why the f-ck pound me MDR. I dont f-king care if your name sounds Mexican and if they built a wall and everyone Mexican is mad at me, or if Im called a liar, if your nice they think its time to get down, because thats LA super fun, complain, and theyre better than you. Why I want to go back to school, and let my blog stay online, get expunged, and send a million dollars to SCOTUS via check Im sure Charles Schwab can make out into the LOST HOMIE DONATION FUND pitch to Justice Roberts, Im sorry! Making my OWN FACE! (Age 35). Originally Posted 11-23-20
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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