For anyone convinced that you have done wrong in life, why you have not been included in any equations for wellness in life, is intended to keep you separate until you realize your self-worth, and become happy and proud about who you are and the life you have lived. You only get one chance at life, and its certainly not all about: (1) rising to occasions (2) proving others wrong (3) making your mark or (4) addressing the needs of others by instinct. There is a such thing as actually living life, believe it or not, without being a desk reference to other social ills in life, not to be assumed to have occurred as a direct reflection of your life as lived. If my life was not good enough then, then it will not be viewed as better now, and that’s a sad fact about life I have come to accept. There is pressure and there is pressure past the point of accumulating guilt in life, or after having been found guilty, for reasons not clearly made to you, but made known to all on public record via the courts and I cried. Ive visited them more than once, and what “probation” meant was described to me “as not breaking any laws, while on probation.” To me, lawsuits are a tool, used to inform you that you have done something wrong, and because you have done something wrong, do not make another person feel good. That’s absent minded your 4th Step, and anyone from your life, who you have so chosen to be separate from. That’s treating you as though you have done wrong, whether knowingly or not, were told you have done something wrong by another, and that is what the Justice System is for, informing you, not necessarily responsible for explaining to you what you have done wrong and why. All that matters is that what you were doing an action “texting” was “unwanted” and because you texted were believed to be “delusional” and because you were delusion, evidenced by the fact that one was slamming their head into a wall bleeding (hearing voices), means that “one has done something wrong, which has been communicated to another party, who does not wish to be involved.” That’s is self-harm, self-harm, means that you do not feel good about yourself, and its your responsibility to figure out why you do not feel good about yourself, or why you do not feel like yourself. It doesn’t then matter what other people think of you, and don’t expect them to be watching you or waiting for you to get well in life, that you have to figure out all for yourself. It should not be until you self-harm, that others are notified of how weak you are, and whether or not you can tolerate being made fun of in life, and no I do not think that a Lawsuit, is to give others the go ahead in life, when it comes to capitalizing on the loss of identity endured, when someone is forced to go to Court, for not attending a Civil Hearing, be given directions or notifications of what is allowed, not allowed, and the consequences for not abiding by that Order. That’s if you cannot get a hold of your Attorney, and do not attend by yourself. That’s not because I wouldn’t know what to say, or because I have too much say, or because of what I have to say would be inappropriate to discuss with a Judge, too much information to indicate Guilt present, or too much information to explain mental health condition, or weight loss. The last time I was called “delusional” was in a UCLA Medical EMR Record, in which it recorded that “patient says shes going to Law School” “patient is delusional.” And then went to Law School. Because of drinking, and arguing with a friend, that made things uncomfortable for me to date my then Boyfriend of 4 years, and because I had a drink, when I got to my car, my boyfriend standing outside my door, was punching my head, then drove off, that was the first time I recall punching my head, and the first time I have punched my head in front of someone, and got into a Car Accident on the way home, things did not work out, and upon things not working out, committed suicide 2009. It then doesn’t matter what I wrote, who I donated to, or what I was like at work prior to suicide, all that matters is that because I drank, I argued, and because I argued I left and punched my head, and because I punched my head, got into a car accident. Which is information asked for because in 2013, because I drank alone, I was texted, and because I was texted I punched my head, and because I punched my head suicidal, I drove on the 405 freeway, and changed lanes without a blinker, until I got pulled over by the CHP. Sometimes to make things go right for you in life, you have to step down, and that’s exactly what I did, stepped down to accusations by my then Boyfriend of three years, we were in the middle of a breakup, writing in my phone, when I was bothered by another Law Student from UCLA, made to give head until I threw up, and that was the incident, occurring, after accusations by text occurred, and after arriving home from DC and visiting the US Supreme Court. And that’s how you get treated in the Street, if youre not sharp enough, or quick witted, to understand that someone who comes into your life, then becomes apart of your story. Which explains why I stay home, and don’t go out. That’s others moving on without you in life. And that’s how you get played in life to look like a schmuck, or someone who doesn’t know their own worth, or the value of their time spent, around those of worth. In defense of institutions, I feel like I was liked, because it told their version of events, or how they wanted my story to be told, to include, an anecdote, of someone sucking dick who attended a School, that Petrocelli went to, and a Hospital, my Moms ex-boyfriend worked for as a Nurse. And that is why I think my story is being told by others, who know me, then give meaning to their lives, as though I impacted their lives then, or had a meaningful story to begin with about anyone. And because Boston occurred after I was emailing myself, a Marathon cut short by bombs, that is why I get attacked upon completion of Law School, or at any juncture of well being fought. That is to treat me as a bombing victim, as though I did not do my best, to communicate to everyone my condition then, or in private, give my password to the US ARMY who I applied to via application online, when a song was made, that I did not agree with, deleted my inbox. Don’t then treat me, as though I was an open Inbox to intruders, or as though my mental health issues, whether shared by me posted to a closed Twitter account, are my responsibility to discern how powerful of an impact my identity, is on someone who does not know me, or argue that I am responsible for my condition as I am now, as though my condition upsets others, or motivates others to cause harm to others, that’s treating me as a shock to know, without me having said anything, and after I shared in a nice way on Twitter, try to line everything up, to say that those acts were in communication to my identity, as though my identity communicates or motivates others to do wrong, and that is how I was treated, not based upon what information I provided, not based upon the quality of writing provided, but treated by how things look, she enters the equation, her identity is known, and then say this this or that happened because her identity is known, then claim that my identity or my position in life, is not with acceptance of others, or once known and made clear with approvals by me, that’s to make things appear as though upon finding out things could’ve been with reference to me, got upset, and it’s the upset that is the feeling wanted to be generated, to say that I got upset when I found out this was about me, to say that he got upset then, like he found out things were about me. -I can do my best moving forward to stay well, but that cannot fix the fact that I have mental health issues now, and do not feel well, and cannot change the treatment of me, as offender, that is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life, why I stay home and continue to write, if I didn’t care, I would let everyone kill me, and put me down in life, but I haven’t the heart to give up in life, and let negativity win, or add fuel to the fire of inference, of things being about me, then, and things not going right by whom, and then watch as things are not going right now, and say it was because I wrote, things then became about me. This is why with all confidence Justice Ginsberg was pictured with two middle fingers in the air, a picture I kept, just like the guy in jail with two middle fingers in the air at the camera in the corner, who bombed a Marathon. I started running to Century City and back, before the Marathon bombing took place, and now I cannot run to Century City and back, because there are Military homeless tents stationed on that running course. -To me being watched for Guilt, is observing until everything calculates to what is had in mind, and that is how what is thought of you controls how you feel, and what you speak to, its someone with a thought, negative, that you then feel offended by or sick by, and do not know what the causes are for that feeling. Just like sharing a video or a picture shared between two, to everyone on Instagram, I immediate become sick, drained, or feel suicidal, that is something that I have said in private, shared to all, not feel well. I do not think that its justified for people to commit acts and hurt the faith of everyone as a whole, and even if disbelief in one is caused, that still shouldn’t matter, whether or not I die, get sick, suicidal, or go to Jail, for whatever offenses are found to have been committed. Registering as a Corporation, is not a risk to the health of others, and is not fraud, that’s called taking accountability for my life, my identity, and for my influence, be factored in legally. What is a manifestation of my output, private or public, and be exact about the judgements made of me, to pin point, from where insult was derived, from where trust has been lost, and for what reasons now, I am not well, as connected to whom, and figure out whats in my control. This cannot change the condition of Bipolar, which I did not have in college, but got Voices, upon doing Cocaine, after moving to a new apartment, I grew extremely paranoid in, with steam heaters, windows sealed shut, and could barely move upon awakening. That maybe then was a a product of being known to all, and then after having been viewed as a disappointment, and underperformer in life, not all jazzed up about life in my Macbook, or Film Course, write. Ive always been really enthusiastic about my Academics, I am good at School, that’s my strength.
And while living on 13th Street, a poster was put in my shed garage, a space was in the Lease.