A positive outlet, means being well spoken, it doesn’t mean say anything, and it should also be with respect for the confidences of others, that’s as seen not described, as spoken to, not talked about, and while you try to understand your own mental health issues, understand too, that it may because you are sharing outloud, how you are feeling, and expecting others to understand, or be understanding if you are not feeling well. There is a such condition as no remorse, and I think at this point in time Im treading thin waters. That is taking offense, or feeling threatened, and then sharing too much, and then getting hurt in the process of sharing. What you remember, however valuable, should not serve as a reminder or be remembered as communication about, don’t think too hard about how people have been punished, or what for. If mentioned seems affected, if affected, it is wanted to know for what reasons, and if we have all experienced tragedy, then why bring up tragedy or try to make sense of tragedy if you have problems of your own. That means you were given problems in life to address, such as addiction or drinking, and its you that gets separated from sources of wellness, that’s to see how you respond, with people in your life, or without people in your life, if you can still focus after having suffered losses. There is focusing, and then there is not returning to a normal life past focused, and that doesn’t mean that one was doing well why one was separated, it was though that one was doing wrong, or for the wrong reasons struggling, either not focused on what was important, not smart enough to be where they were, or punished to bring down in life, for not taking as prescribed two adderralls, in school part-time. So that was my fault, not that semester but at some point bought a few adderrall, from a person named “Barber” who after being introduced to my friend, no longer connected with heard from. I now know that if you are doing something wrong in life, and things do not work out for you, it is because you are doing something wrong, and if you are not smart enough to achieve in life, its because you haven’t worked hard enough, or not able to achieve to the level required in order to represent others, to love others, or to be respected among friends. Never trust a friends advice, if you have a problem in life see a Doctor. That’s the main lesson. If you get done in life, that is how you get treated as less than in life, and if you talk about your sex life, that’s how you get judged as not smart, or thinking that you can resolve your problems on your own. At what point do friends try to help eachother, and left under the wings of others, during times of illness, whoever is more well stable, and whoever is not well unstable, that your friends nor a companion can fix, the decisions you make while drinking or what happens to you upon separation. So that’s is my story of failure, got a job in DC, and because I bought adderrall, did not take two finals, was dumped before one, and went to the hospital, with an A and a Witken Award, which my brother smashed upon being displayed in the kitchen, broke the frame and the glass the award was snapped in half, something I was proud of, but was treated instead as a product of addiction. Its really hard to be accepting of someone who has a good life, and looks stupid, its really difficult, and really difficult to accept that I ruined my career not taking as prescribed on two adderrall a day, in night classes, with Westlaw only available after hours. I think by now, everyone knows your story, all your excuses, every fact, and has tried to help. But once you ruin your career, you cannot expect to get your life back, no matter how hard you try, that’s the real world, not there with you when youre well, and certainly does not support you if you become ill, that’s treating you as deserving of mental health issues, or illness, and then basing what has gone right in life, based upon those from your life doing well. I have kept in touch with people, but its usually when I am doing well, its hard to talk to a lot of people. I understand that there are no excuses for stupidity, and lack of common sense and this is why I do not have money, and was told not to give me money, because I have addiction, that was decided by me 2013, not intended to serve as punishment, but because I don’t need money to finish school or to get a job paid, was well enough and smart enough to attract those things into my life, but unfortunately because of addiction, and because I limited my finances to just as needed, that is how I appeared to others, not respected or not of value because I tried hard, and didn’t feel solid, because I looked well or confident, and thought I looked like I thought I was more special than I was or going places in life, and now I understand, that when you are at peace and focused, that is when you get harmed, if you stop focusing on yourself, get attached to others, or think too much about life or your interactions in life, sound like your assuming people intended to hurt you, or had an agenda, that’s just reading into things too much, let go.
Heading: #blogpost: I Don't Think Blogging is Helpful ... #adderrall #privileges #rehab #buyingmeds #beingprescribed #managingmoods #understandinghate #noforgiveness #embarrssment #nogoingback #neverreturningtowellness #treatedasconnected #notsayinganythingright
Originally Posted: 10-08-20