Voices: 2006 (cocaine) then went to Outpatient Rehab
Voices: 2020 (blogging, tweeting, Vyvanse)
Talked Seated: Bungalow (given a dollar smoking at a group table)
Talked Standing: Bungalow (told I was “weird,’ left writing and crying to a bouncer)
Talked Seated: Bungalow (Upset shouted to “do something” after Las Vegas)
Talked in the Smoking Section: Bungalow (Suggested going home early not stay out late).
Why a ping pong table was added “blue tile infinity” like I am Diddy’s Pool I swam in once.
Talked Alone: In Westwood, before Messenger and Writing Books.
Marched to Westwood and Back, before earthquake in Mexico, attended one meeting in a Pink Dress.
After I was hospitalized for 30 days, phone and computer taken away, for not sleeping.
Marched once down Wilshire in a navy nightie, upset, then put my button up dress back on.
The bars were painted with a boxer and a chef, then I started to hit my head with my hands.
I was told to go to “The Victorian” even though I go to Bungalow, call for permissions to get in.
In my iPhone, once described the first time I thought a girl was pretty someone I interviewed.
In my iPhone, once described, any sexual encounters in which I was not myself then, kept.
In my iPhone described a moment, when I was peeing in a stall with my best friend, hit on her.
Then everyone made grabbing cunt jokes, groping jokes, because she vomited both got sick.
Then everyone made businesses, making fun of my iPhone notes, like I was a “speakeasy” in Yellow.
To say that my disclosed inappropriate touching, was unwanted when sex continued that night anyways.
Then because I stated where the advice came from Cosmopolitan Magazine, wanting to know whether its by my disclosures others are attacked, and thats hurting me, to say whats known, to be spoken through me now, here.
Now its looking at things feeling hurt, not in charge anymore, winding up places, with no one there.
Now its my life, as told, or spoken about, no one wants to hear about by how many people unpopular.
Now its looked at my face, to see at what point I was ever emotional and why, no one feels sorry now.
And because of one movie, I later mad a website with ads, in good humor liking a BBDO CEO in NY.
And its when I like someone else, that whoever was the object of my affection, gets offended, disowned.
I am not given money by my request, then its me not being trusted with money if an addict.
Then its if I was an addict then and that was the cause, known, whether dating a Basketball Player caused a cocaine addiction or forced me to make friends, out of trying to be cooler, no I was cool.
I think its consequence of people feeling special confidential, then me sharing, makes them feel sick.
What causes me to expose what is of value to me, occurs when I am made to look less than to become of value then is to protect my interests in staying healthy, what people think I cannot dominate.
Then after messaging the President, and after taking many gorse photos of myself, bettered myself.
That started with not hitting my head, talking myself up to the challenge, and going back to work.
Then going back to work, do my best to make sure everyone was well, even if I got sick, became weird.
My goal was not to be police dependent, to be able to tell a feeling, from a risk, report on time, prompt.
Its by what is not reported, that I am made to feel guilty, like I let things happen, Dads car got totaled.
I am someone who has been involved reporting in to officials since day one, that’s everyone quiet.
When others are quiet, it’s the responsibility of those who are well, to try to figure out whats at issue.
When figuring out whats at issue, that so that people feel free of harm, not subjected to the same.
And when others are too old to wait, and singing in the hospital, is when I stopped talking to myself or writing notes and squares, and wrote a book, about 5 total book draft ideas, types of writing saved: personal, professional, opinion, story based, inference based, deduction based, peace based speaking.
So then I made a library too, after President Bush made a library, of course I would not spent my lifes work assembled by me, give soley for the purposes to stop a mismanagement of issues directed, its because as a member, it was something not pressing, as to someone who was dong well, in public.
And like a book was given to the wrong person, instead of bonding with someone who had faith, a loss of faith occurred, at the first Inauguration, I was tired of being called “pervert” and had sex in the valley. That’s voices occurring when things are going well for you, so that things dotn work out for you, so that no one trusts you, so that you are made to feel separate, until you recognize whats coming from you, coming from others, how many know you, what youre responsible for, word wise, communication wise. And the voices you get, are viewed as a product of what you say in writing, not of whats overheard. What is overhead are peoples right to react and to know about your condition without you knowing it, that’s being talked about in the positive or the negative, stuff you really aren’t ever supposed to tune into in life that’s exactly why you get hurt, as though others must brace themselves found out about. I think that’s the misnomer, or reporting in, viewed as for sexual reasons a homewrecker, well if that’s what is expected of a woman, to be viewed as likeable, then those are the standards of acceptance face.
Lesson people wont stop until they are proven right about you, as though theyre entitled to see you hit your head or talk to yourself, or what youre like with voices, to see whether any combination of those issues, if viewed by all, demonstrates why people are distant toward you as deserved not by choice.
I am working on seeing a Psychiatrist, because I could not afford one, have tried to see a temporary family practitioner, but clearly my mental health is not strong enough to just get meds, physically need someone to monitor my condition, if I need a medication change, and that’s how my life is now, tough.
Im sorry that I struggled, and for the misunderstanding of bipolar, staying well or helping should not be made this difficult but if others think they are doing society or others a favor in giving you a hard time, thats to see whether you get sick by your own guilts in life, to see if you ever get upset, with how you are treated, when things are well. Thats the problem with discussing how well you were ever known, compared to now, makes no difference on a larger scale, cannot undo, when someone thinks your grose, masculine, sexual, perverted, or obnoxious, not smart. That is how you get treated based upon who you are grouped with in life, and thats your new identity, the side of everyone else as having done you favors in life, so no well life is ever interpreted to have existed for you.
Document Relevant for Review: https://www.scribd.com/document/414630346/06-26-19-pdf-v2-short-motion-for-world-peace?secret_password=xCS4VC3pkvU9UYQPQAhF#download&from_embed