03-28-19
Once the criticisms have left from your life, that means that you are doing well. Sometimes going backwards can lead to heartbreak … either through the sharing of your story, as told to others break hearts, or your own heart broken as realizing what has gone wrong and by realizing where you are now thankful that you are no longer in that same place in life. You will experience a lot of losses, none we hope due to social media use, I mentioned on my blog, that I think I met someone who had sent a friend request, and while in law school not participating on Facebook or Twitter, missed the friend request and did not accept the friend request of someone who later committed suicide. It’s a big deal to mention, now with fear of people blaming me, for his suicide, as though I was someone who knew him well or knew him personally, I don’t think we even met at the birthday party I attended Im not sure if he was there, and did not know him by face only by name, growing up. I think there is a lot of room for error online when it comes to rejections and sharing … as someone who shares a lot online, it’s a big deal when people ask to be your friend, and still do not accept friend requests only followers, to me its too much responsibility to be watched or to care for people who I do not know in real life, and to know me on a personal level how I am in private or among friends, I do not wish to be that close to everyone only a select few let into my life, even though I have no pictures mostly quotes in case anyone was wondering on my Facebook, collected over the years. I was not haunted by that experience as I was a law student and with a boyfriend at the time, that maybe explains why I did not accept the friend request … sometimes misunderstandings can cause assumptions, and if youre the one making those assumptions, its either by the guilt of self or guilt of others around you as from talking about you, that you may feel uncomfortable in life, everyone knowing something about you, you do not know they know about you. That’s not teaming up on a person, that’s just leaving someone out of the loop. Its really not until you mention your life to another, you get sized up as being a responsible party for the illnesses of others, when I started going to the hospital 2011, it was from lack of sleep, I had just started Abilify at that time … I had not yet been paranoid about my poster I bought in Boulder, or a TV-Show with the same apartment number as me, or song or film related to my experiences in life, to which I could relate to, its often not about you, I would hope not attacks on your good character, when you are doing well in life, with a boyfriend, treated as someone who doesn’t have it all or deserves to be talked about in the negative, that I think is unreasonable. I started blogging mainly because I am was not close to a lot of people growing up only had the same best friends my whole life 5 friends, and thought my story needed to be heard, not as talked about, become ill, and then felt like it was my responsibility to correct my reputation as heard about or abstractly looked at by others, I’m not embarrassing I was very professional in law school, was not a drinker, had only been hospitalized once, I was strong.
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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