Sometimes a moment of silence occurs, when quiet time is needed to decompress from whatever pressures you may face in life, or to overcome whatever perceived obstacles stand in the way between who you are now, and who you were, become a better version of yourself. You are only given so many chances in life, before people give up on you, that’s them trying their hardest to care, check on you, and expect you to stay well, and not get hurt in life made to look stupid. That I didn’t expect. How my family is looked at, and whether as a joke to toot their own horns about life as they know it, look at my life as small, or unimpactful, worth the time of respect, in leaving someone alone when they are not doing well, and not make the most of a poor condition, make someone look stupid to everyone, and that’s the cost, of being loved online, not without repercussions to your own health, and to your relationships with your family. That’s embarrassment. Whether you know where I live or not, and see my address as a joke, that’s you assuming to make life about a home address, and shed a nastier take on things as you see it, think representative of the human body, and with degradation in mind, trash a human body online, to be seen by all. That’s dehumanizing a person, or personality online, especially someone with known Bipolar, and with a record, that is to subject me to odds, and to cause harm to all those who saw my naked body, be affected, see me in a different light, an unintelligent light. In other times, when not putting pen to paper on what others were thinking, or sure about me thought about, while focusing my own changes occurring within me, recognize I needed to take better care of myself. There is only so much responding to losses that can occur, to make things right, and thats maybe why I self-harmed, after Hugh Hefner passed away, because I shared my body on Twitter. If what you did felt right then (flyers), then that’s you being sure about supporting a cause, (which later can be viewed as) not for everyone, meaning not all feel the necessity to respond to social illns not presently affecting them to care for in life, let alone understand, and I understand that not all are prepared mentally or physically to withstand, such losses in life, including me. Life is not a sporting event, to be managed and maintained by the people, and that’s how power is lost. I do not think that I should be similarly viewed as being under any unwanted pressures in life, to see how I respond, see whether I die, as though I did not value people in my life, or in search of a better life without them, we all get tired eventually of chasing dreams or wasting energy on love, that’s not ones heart wandering, that’s things not going right in your life, and needing to be hospitalized. Please do not condemn those who have worked hard in life to provide stability for others, and put my life in jeopardy, or the lives of those I love and care for in jeopardy as associated to me, or my problems currently, not with a baby on board, that was an extreme risk to my health taken, without regard for my mental health and stability as exposed, and without regard for how that could potentially make others feel, seeing my condition worsen, lose faith. I think if you share your frustrations in private or in public, they don’t care what condition youre in, they will fight you, or cause you mental disturbance, as though you do so to others, known.