It’s a day like this when you really feel like people don’t care. And maybe that’s a demonstration, trying to put you in your place, shouting inside 7/11 when you are asked for a receipt, then shouting at your car window, because your car is parked too close, just called 911 and reported her for shouting at me, that hurts my head, and that causes me physical illness, so please do me a favor and not shout next to me, or at me, no matter what youre going through in life, its not my fault. That’s people trying to get you to talk about things as it pertains to them, and that’s not the solution, to whatever racism is stirring about on the issues presently. If its something to do with what I look like that’s not my fault, and that does not give you permission to shout at me, like Im some smaller human being, or guilty of whatever you think is a polite “world peace” joke, that’s not funny, and that’s not okay, and that’s not appropriate, and that’s not how you respond to someone who has cared since day 1, if that’s not my story, that’s not my story, and if that’s your story in your mind, about what Im about, then Im sorry I cant help you with your anger, whatever that’s about, hurting me, like I deserve to be hurt or shouted at, that’s not the solution, and that’s not funny, and its not okay to treat me like Im not helping or haven’t helped. Whatever you think Im about, maybe youre wrong, and maybe you shouldn’t shout at me, and if you have a problem with me then take it to Court, if you think that I parked too close to your car, that isn’t going to keep me silent on the issues, that you have with me, and it is something worth sharing about, whether you like it or not, or able to get away with being mean to me for no reason. Its events like that that make you not want to be out in public it makes you not want to work, it makes you not want to leave home, it makes you want to stay home and stay in your room for another 4 years, for whatever its worth I apologized, she could have waited for me to get into my car, to move, the fact that she was able to get into her car, means that she was able to get into her car, so its obviously something to do on a personal level. Listen if you have a nice car and if you have money and if you have a pet, then why are you screaming at me, I don’t have money, I don’t have a job, and I cant afford rent, so who are you trying to prove wrong like I haven’t suffered and been hospitalized 9x under the weather. I called the Colorado DA, I called the LADA, I called the police, I spoke to the police, and if there is nothing I can do about your philosophy in life, which is to degrade me, or to chastise me, like Im supposed to lead you or cover for you, or help you, to understand the times better, then maybe Im not that person in life for you, and maybe its because you have that attitude toward me, is why youre an unhappy person, why you don’t feel well, and whats causing you sickness, it always makes me question the reasons for anyone taking their anger out on a person, like that’s supposed to make you feel better about yourself, or cause a fight for no reason, and make things about me in a negative way that things are not about. If there is something you don’t like about whatever system is keeping everyone well, then speak it, and if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it at all. So what is the reason for talking down to me, or trying to hurt my feelings, or try to scare me, what is it about you, that gives you the right to shout at me twice and think that that’s speaking your mind about the issues, if anyone has been harmed its been me, treated like Im mentally ill, or trying to cause a fight to see how I respond and misassociate me to to whatever your cares are in the world, that’s you think you have some worldly view on life that I don’t have myself. So what causes someones head to look funny, its called staying home for four years and getting voices and made to punch my head, slam my head into doors, and feel suicidal, and that is why I blog, because its better than staying quiet or allowing for everyone to make fun of me, or to treat me like Im some lower level human being, or someone who deserves to be mistreated in life. That is why Im not working, Im not getting married, Im not having kids, and I don’t care what you think. If you have something to say, then tell it to a Judge, Ive done nothing but report over an 8 year period, I graduated form law school, and Im moving forward with my life, and plan to work one day when I start to feel better, if you don’t see me as someone shot, then you don’t understand what pain is like, or why Im in pain, or whats causing me pain, or making me not feel good, I went to the hospital ER with a job broken, and no one could explain that to me, then when I tried to explain to my then boss, that I went to the Doctor, they didn’t really seem to care about whatever it was that I was going through on my own. Your idea of what “the dream” should look like, maybe doesn’t include me in it, but that doesn’t give you the right to shout at me, as though I have not represented myself well or my State well, or others well, no matter what kind of mistreatment I have ever endured being treated as guilty, or grose, obese, or ugly. I think Ive been through enough, and the last thing I need is for you to shout at me why I reported you.
What Im Working on in Private Trying to Figure Out, with Help from #scotus:
So whats the solution? Not to waste anyones time.
If it’s a prior code, at what point did it appear that I was coding to.
If it’s a later code, at what point were those points discussed.
If its an influencer issue, at what point, do my insights not help.
What is relateable, when I am speaking clearly, or not relateable (weird).
What is a quality of attraction, something that sounds well.
What defeats the purpose of sharing, if it is something I cant get my head around.
If there is something about me someone cant get their head around.
At what point did I stop being myself, upon being exposed.
That exposure was not due to anything inappropriate said in private.
The exposure was due to thinking Im connected to OJ Simpson.
At what point does sharing connection help, if it adds light.
At what point do connections not help, if light is lost.
How can light be lost, if someone thinks anyone has it easier.
If it appears that you have it easier, then given a hard time.
What are causes for paranoia, being insecure.
How does being exposed cause me to be insecure, not confident.
Where did my confidence go, feeling good, and being okay feeling good.
Whats causing sickness, feeling good, and feeling bad for feeling good.
What is the cause for exposure, to say that I am not who I say I am.
What is “fraud” its someone who pretends to be professional.
What is it about me that’s not professional (lack of finished research papers/work).
What is not valued, something that looks easy to make, speak everyday.
What is the mental challenge, its things not going right not feeling right.
What can help make things go better? Feeling good, feeling okay, feeling safe.
What causes a lack of safety? Its if something happens, then not feeling good.
Or if something bad happens thinking one is connected in a bad way.
How are clear lines drawn, when a company uses your identity, to point you out.
When a company uses your identity to point you out as mentally ill or a slut.
When is “intensity” not needed after the fact.
What is after the fact, thinking that a purpose has failed prevention.
So that causes others to look at my work, to determine whether prevention (8 year period).
How to rebuild trust, it starts with reporting calling DAs, calling the police.
How is trust lost with the people, if its perceived you created a failed system of prevention.
On what basis am I attacked, by what the title on my Instagram says, edu, work experience.
Based on what I say I am I am challenged, as not being that, then they think Im fake.
What is fake, someone who doesn’t care, or uses a title to attract attentions.
What are unwanted attentions, when someone treats you like you need attention.
What is blogging, its educating others on the day, based on what I am thinking.
What is helpful thinking, something that sits well, that others can relate to.
What is not good thinking, anything that’s hard to understand or appears guilty.
When am I read into, when someone is looking for guilt, thinking its coding.
What is coding, its recognition of risks past, and not reliving it in present day.
What is a risk past, something that people get sued for, thinking subjects others.
What is subjecting others, to unlikeable traits picked up from you.
What does being likeable mean, it means 17M people identified me as smart likeable.
What is hard for others to understand, putting me in pain, and difficulty thinking doing everyone right by putting me down in life, thinking that’s how they have improved.
I think if people are competing with me, then they will feel guilty, if something bad happens, which is what I think the present difficulty is, proving me wrong, then something bad happening, then its not because of them not noted by me, then I get the unwanted pressure, having to explain for them not being on board with me, then me doing well, in spite of them. If their idea of prevention was stopping me or blaming me for mental health issues, then they will not feel bettered should what I seek to prevent occurs, then they are waiting on a response from me, in order to think, about how to respond to everyone, so that’s a guilt chain for no reason, its blaming someone, who was not guilty, then they feel guilty, and I don’t.
(1-2) Posted before the last post below.
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