If it’s a feeling that leaves you upon focusing on something else in life, good, if it’s a feeling that stays with you, upon leaving a situation of discomfort, then that’s something to think about whats helping you or hurting your ability to live life absent minded, the problems you think you are facing, in light of what you think you are hearing, voices, and how important is it to disclose whatever “voices” you think you are hearing and why, and how does that wind up hurting you in the long run. It seems if there is pain having to do with you, it then gets justified in the form of voices, to then be communicated to all, that’s the risk inherent to discussing whats ailing you in public, it shouldn’t matter where you are, that much reassurance you cannot be honored in life, something personal, then affecting your public persona, and there goes your outlook. Theres a saying “don’t be a negative Nancy,” and to me that means not allowing any feelings to get the best of you, let alone, anything negative you think you are hearing that is not you, not something that you say, not something that you study, not what your blog is about, and nothing you think about others, what can explain that and where it is coming from. Then there is blame, are you someone who upon experiencing a set back blames others (immature), or are you someone who deals with problems on your own (independent), that will go to support or justify an actual voice, though in congruence to a voice you think you are hearing and have no proof of. People are only willing to help so long as you are willing to help yourself, and should you enter any other state of mind, seemingly above any issue that someone has with you, then that’s you not respecting their viewpoint of you, to be no one of importance, so who is important. Anyone with a job, who is not important, anyone without a job, who is of value: people who make money, who is not of value: someone who is not paid for their work. So that’s the dilemma I face, I may have everything and be a happy person, that also doesn’t mean that what I have to say will be good enough, and that doesn’t mean that all my personal issues or setbacks in life, need to be made public, maybe that’s how others are able to move forward, but that’s never a good reason to fail at anything youre good at simply because someone does not see you in that way. If the goal is to have no one on your side, then so be it, that also does not serve as an excuse or explanation for how things pan out for everyone else, its really not about forgiveness, and its really not about embracing one anothers differences, its really about who is able and who is not able, who to be surrounded by and who is not permitted to be around others, as though something is coming from them, that you cannot change, where people were in terms of how they viewed you and at a later point in time, what they think of you, should you get your smarts back or make a full recovery, you will always be made to remember all those moments of frustration or failure, and you will have no one to blame but yourself. So what needs work? Being positive in spite of, that can help, and what also needs work, not to make things personal, when everyone is going through something in public, which does not need to be explained if not explanation is had. So that’s forcing feelings through you to see whether you have anything positive to say, to see whether anything is about you, and that’s a question that only the FBI can ask, and if it does have something to do with me, then that’s why Im talking to them, so they can figure out what do with me. So spare me your intuitions about something being off about me, I can only try for so long as people are normal toward me, and if you cant be that way toward me, then please don’t expect me to normalize you, or be understanding of you either, see you as professional. And here is where the fight begins, who was in the right and who was in the wrong, what is known and what is not known, who is apart of, who is not recognized as being apart of, who represents what issue, and who is being made to seem like an imitation of someone else issue already addressed, who is inspiring who, what things are about, and who is now struggling.
Originally Postd 03-24-21
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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