One thing you’ll learn about success, is that you cant keep going if you cant keep going, and in order to keep going, you have to figure out what is holding you back, what are your deficiencies, what are your potential setbacks, what are your fears, and also pay attention to audience reactions, what is liked, what subjects are shyed away from, what sounds good, what needs work, what needs to be said, and what has not been said that can make things better. Doing well as a blogger is all about, minimizing controversy, not being avoidant to major issues, saying what you think will help a situation, leaving things open, and not similarly subjecting your audience to any misunderstandings that you may have encountered getting going as a blogger. There will always be some expectation, for you to be in a certain place in life, where you can answer all questions about life, even if they are not asked, and that doesn’t also mean that we currently hold an opinion about matters not directly affecting us currently. Starting August to November, I encountered a very heavy pressure, a negative pressure, which Im not completely sure I was capable of overcoming, and while I have grown as a blogger since, that doesn’t mean that things got better for me emotionally, physically, or mentally, you will always hit roadblocks moving forward, that may turn up in the form of a past decision made you are made not to feel good about, or a future decision that needs to be made, that you don’t feel 100% confident about moving forward through disclosure of your own interests, and not affecting your health or the health of anyone, not a party to your personal best interests in life, and that’s the difficulty with growing as a blogger. Not be tied down by any connections in life, misunderstandings, or controversy, and being able to rise to the occasion of speaking your mind, without becoming insulted about anything past said, that’s being in a better state of mind, when you are not affected by the past, and that’s being present, not being stuck thinking about something or being bothered about something that you don’t have control over, such as what people think. I can already tell writing this post, that I don’t have a specific direction that Im going in, and while that may be troubling to me, to zone out, I don’t think its beneficial to say out loud. Some things are best kept to yourself, and nothing gets better so long as you talk about your problems, this I experienced while being alone for many years, living a very quiet life disciplined as a long distance runner, I had many years to think about life, what I wanted to do with my life, and how important it was for me to stay well and be strong, in order to be more resilient and not get sick over any number of reasons, that one gets sick, stuck under a negative spotlight in life. I just read an article on effectiviology.com, who described the “spotlight effect.” [1] This article reminds us as writers, bloggers, influencers, and professionals to “feel less self-conscious and more confident,” [2] how so? If seeing is believing, then how is it possible to convince your audience, that you have overcome your mental health issues, or setbacks past, other than a public demonstration of your current state of mind in the form of writing online, for some that will not be enough to get them to rely on you, trust you, believe in you, or be made to feel good by you, there will always be hesitancies in life, if anyone is made to not feel sure about someone, and that’s always in your best interests to trust your instincts, that doesn’t mean that my website is going to fail, or that Im going to fail, you wont always get that much reassurance in life, to see a visual change in a person to know that you have done the right thing ignoring someone or not talking to them or not paying attention to them, get a pat on your back for your decision to exclude, ignore, or not allow for a person presence in your life, we all get to pick and choose who to include in our lives, and for the most part, people are avoidant of those the determine to be troubled, or mentally ill, unintelligent, or not worth the company. So be mindful as a blogger, that as much as you are stuck obsessing over what everyone thinks, more times than not people are not bothered by you until you mention things in a way that makes them feel like you are trying to say that other people are the cause for your own instability, or demeanor in life, we cant really credit people that much for any changes we endure, and we cant also take the blame if we don’t succeed and become sick, be accused of “asking for it” in life, leading a life that deserves mistreatment or lack of respect, treated as though our presence does others wrong, and this is why people disassociate from people who they deem are: mentally ill, problematic, socially disoriented, poor decision makers, or who don’t represent positive traits in a person, intermingle among the well, why people get discriminated, because of what they look like, not to be duplicated among a majority they view as being better situated than them in life, not to expose others to see someone in person, who they don’t deem fit for public appearances. Effectivology.com states that “whenever we think about what other people think about us, we tend to overestimate how likely they are to notice things that we do, as well as how likely they are to care about those things.” [3] How does this affect someone as a blogger or a writer? “We experience the spotlight effect because when we think about how other people see us, we suffer from an egocentric bias, which is the tendency to anchor other people’s viewpoint to our own.” [4] This explains the change (November 2020 – February 2021) on mymollydoll.com. If you are ever concerned with what people think, and if you have not heard anything negative as of yet in reality, or by comments, then its not something that you should allow yourself to be consumed by, the potential for negative assumptions to be made concerning your likes, dislikes, dress, demeanor, weight loss, success, or struggles in life, unfortunately we don’t live in a take you as you are society anymore, in which people give others the benefit of the doubt, you often times have to prove yourself worthy of being in the company of others, and if your not careful be treated as someone benefiting from an interaction and for it not to be viewed as a mutually beneficial union of interests, but that’s okay, people who have it all, don’t generally see you as able to benefit them in the positive, not if you cant speak of yourself in the positive, and present more reservations, then state what is going well for you in general without the need to explain how or why, or by what circumstances, or specific successes experienced in the lives of others, that you were ever noticed, I don’t think if you are not well that anyone notices you hence 14,000 Highest Rank on Alexa to 50,000, that’s not being able to keep going in life, and being held back in life by some negative pressure that your not completely sure what it is about, that also doesn’t mean that you can simply get a job and start getting paid doing something completely different with your life, that’s one thing Ive learned about blogging, that it only goes well for so long as you feel well, and in the event you are ever taken advantage of in a corrupt way, overexposing your best interests in a way that’s defamatory, compromising, or subjects you to hate, that’s nothing you can control, not then, not now, and not ever during the time you are put under duress, as though your face, statements, or conduct has anything to do with the Country as a whole, or other Countries for that matter in terms of what they think of us, I think that’s taking things too far. The result, “we tend to be quite focused on our own actions and thoughts.” [5] So don’t take your tone for granted, the more serious life gets the more energy it takes to dispel question or hate for that matter, it’s a tough subject to talk about, but its important nonetheless, to be careful of who you speak to, always be someone who is nice to know, that also doesn’t mean let just anyone control you, you are worth more than that, you are more important that that, you don’t need to stoop so low for attentions in life, you don’t need negative attention, you don’t need favors, all you need is yourself (COVID), and if you cannot be strong on your own, then its no ones job to make you any less strong, so that you don’t survive, so that you get sick, so that you cant date, so that you cant procreate, so that you don’t get a job, who wants to live a life anyways subjected to ridicule, loss of respect, and wrongful accusations, as though ones personal health has anything to do with anyone elses health in life, including their mental health. If I have made it this far being professional online, then there is not reason, why I cannot work, get paid, and move forward in life. -This is probably why I have not published a book yet, everyone jumping the gun on me, I know that life is exciting, but the future opportunity for me is not limited that its an emergency to be a NY Time Best Seller right now at this moment, be famous, or be featured in a magazine, article written about me, and that also doesn’t give anyone the permission to trash me, hurt my earning capacity, or wrongfully accuse me of being obsessed with anyone else career or livelihood. Learn to be happy for people, even if you cant control them, get under their skin, insult them, or cause them physical and mental disability. I have been on bed rest for years, working on getting well, overcoming the medications I was put on that most incapacitate me and leave me bed ridden and tired. So if Im awake and if Im trying its not my last leg in life, its Im pushing myself so that I can live life as dramatic as that seems to anyone who has money and a home, I have nothing! I have to work hard to that I can earn money and have a home! That’s how important my life is to me whether you understand that or not, don’t destroy me don’t destroy my family, don’t hurt the Country’s faith, don’t hurt the faith of women who are trying to be strong and positive, and don’t hurt the faith of men who liked me enjoyed reading my work, were rooting for me, and are happy that I am sounding better, and not stuck in bipolar delusions, made to feel like Im bigger than I am, treat me like Im smaller than I am or for any other reason thought better than me because Im half-filipino, half-jewish, unmarried, single, in the process of working at a job, be misdiagnosed in public to have unreal expectations for myself or others, if two attorneys died of aneurism and cancer, then yes that would be me too being defensive and unapologetically to myself and not social, because we don’t completely know the reasons for which people are made to feel sickly, mentally or physically disabled, by what currents of disbelief in life, are caused when the smart cannot be trusted, when the uneducated assume that we have more, when there is competition over wellness, when we get judged by our home, when we get judged by our associations, or if we get judged by how we responded to a flood in Texas, left my AA meeting with 2nd degree burns on my shin, there was an earthquake in Mexico, and three + major fires in California, and what did I do, I started writing books, when no one had anything to say, when no one knew what to do, and when there was no public discussion whatsoever about how anything happened, or who was to be held responsible for any number of deals put together, and whether specifically, how anyone was made to feel scared, was because of any deals that were put together, that I was never apart of, not by letter, not by text, not by messenger, not by website idea, not by job, and not by what Im doing now which has everything to do with being a positive sound board, to whatever mental health issues are currently derailing the best decision making of people, not make everything so heavy that everything is realized at once and causes anyone to feel sick, sad, or powerless, or responsible. So what is the solution? Please don’t hurt me or practice history, psychiatry, psychology, defamation, negative spotlight, humor, or racism on me, to get a result: positive or negative, to determine whether your own reactions where necessary or proper, given the subject matter of a conversation, that was not negative, or corrupt, or for any other reason that would ever make it proper to trash a human being online, who is connected to 17 million people and my family, in the middle of COVID (a pandemic), Riots (a symptom), Protests (a cause for action), Election (a reason to participate and be heard). If its not something I can stop, then what is in my power is not to give up, not to talk about how I got hurt, not to talk about everyone who was disappointed or upset, me myself included. #stophate
Reference: [1] https://effectiviology.com/spotlight-effect-stop-being-self-conscious/ [2] https://effectiviology.com/spotlight-effect-stop-being-self-conscious/ [3] https://effectiviology.com/spotlight-effect-stop-being-self-conscious/ [4] https://effectiviology.com/spotlight-effect-stop-being-self-conscious/ [5] https://effectiviology.com/spotlight-effect-stop-being-self-conscious/
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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