You cant really stop people from relating things to you, or combining negatives to negate your innocence, as connected to bad incidences or incidences in which others were harmed. That’s the repercussion of getting sued, being put on the losing team in life, and as a result of being put on the defensive or losing team, it becomes a slippery slope, of others playing hardball with you, attacking your character or ability to speak to what cannot be spoken about but what can be felt, and upon viewing you, as assembled from their viewpoint, have the ability to dictate what direction thoughts about you, become, toward the positive or viewed upon under a negative light, that’s to bring one to a point of frustration, as sided against, without an ability to communicate yet, or not having understood the communications about yet, as seeing the big picture of what others are trying to represent, by their outward representations of their facades or the changing of their facades, like changes to facades are made by real estate developers following an incident of homicide to a property, this I saw on the news, back when Mitt Romney was running for president, I was living in Santa Monica at the time, and recorded the Tivo’d episode from a local news channel. -Rocks were added to the façade of my meeting, which is now closed to most, you have to be on time to attend. I’m not sure whether that has anything to do with the fact that I volunteered for Moms Demand or know the President of Brady Campaign LA and have attended a meeting, or whether that change has anything to do with the fact that I was a speaker at that meeting prior to being hospitalized twice, whether my attendance has anything to do with the story of that meeting or whether my identity being present had an adverse affect on the meetings identity, that would be an assumption, so would the fact that I attended CU Boulder, a school that was found responsible for one of the first incidences of gun violence in a movie theater in Aurora, a photo of the defendant was inserted onto my magazine page of my website without me knowing it, Im assuming that it by someone who thinks I got involved in gun violence prevention work, because I was directly affected, yes I was somewhat affected, I flew to DC twice for $2000, whether that’s an obvious assumption on behalf of others, why I attended a US Supreme Court hearing and what was discussed in my notebook, while hearing arguments from them, and their participants, is not intended to be used as a negative toward me, but should be viewed upon in the positive, as exposing myself to others, so from their good vantage point, maybe view a larger picture, not yet with an ability or capacity to understand, why later drawing them, was viewed upon with insult re: Justice Roberts or Filmmakers, possessive over their identity, as not wanting to be held responsible for a poster, I purchased on Pearl Street, on canvas, the Artist later passed away from France, as me buying an image of someone snapping, as trying to be related to the movie Legally Blonde, and as added justification for attending Law School, as a means to defend or attack the positions of others, as to whos influences should be held responsible for subsequent acts, which is of discussion now, but was not then, as an undergrad and at age 20 studying for the LSAT 2006, I took 4 prep courses, and took the LSAT 3 times before attending Law School, just to get a 152 on the LSAT and get into Law School, I had wanted to attend prior to OJ going to jail, and before being hospitalized 8 times for bipolar, which was later diagnosed, February 2009, prior to attending Law School, I had swallowed a bottle of Kolonopin, not a self-harmer at that time, but was alcoholic drinking with my then boyfriend, who I later separated from, after a year of being separated from him, given alone time, to fix myself, declining a game of golf, once I had started Law School, was third in my class to begin, getting As on exams. -If you have an idea or a solution, share it, and especially with the Nobel Prize committee, and if you feel like your experiences have given you knowledge, which you feel gives you the power to understand how when you feel a certain way others may feel the same way, then get help from whatever organizations you deem fit to respond to crises when it arises, that’s the shame that accompanies being a patient, and at the same time, once being an advocate to those struggling with mental health issues, following assault, and or feeling suicidal, I was once able to be there for others, but after suffering my own bouts with mental health issues, have decided to become a blogger instead or pursuing a career in the legal field, which is very challenging, but would have given me the opportunity to help one person at a time, which is more beneficial in the long run, than trying to help a group of people as a blogger, its more controversial, in this way, than as under the direction of an Attorney, who can review your work and provide you with feedback, that is a privilege I do not currently have the benefit of benefitting from, only through continued education, am able to better realize how to help others, and what issues, are perplexing others, as to why I am blogging, or went to Law School, it was because I could not get a job, 2008, applied everywhere, it was my dream to work in Century City one day, a dream that later came true, driving a 4 door silver Porsche down Ave of the Stars, past Petrocelli’s building, which had my Boss’s Company’s name atop it. I was his Intern. -I think one has the right to continue their education to get a job, I don’t however think its okay for others to investigate why I did not get the job at the City Attorneys Office, after complaining about a Paralegal who scratched his leg, in front of me, while sitting in a cubicle with me, he was on meds at the time, taking his son to Lego Land, and answering calls from me from the bathroom, he handed me my Supervising Attorney’s cell phone number prior to being hospitalized, who moved offices by my cubicle, and used to put his feet crossed on his desk, the office plant stayed, after attending a promotion lunch, the Attorney who was seated in that office, and a painting added above his desk to his back, something simple Japanese art, too small for the wall. He told me “maybe you can run for President one day” after reading my personal statement, he did run for President, Barack Obama, I think I applied to his Law School. Always have an open perspective in life, and never allow your frustrations to boil you down, to fixed points of interests or beliefs about the hows and whys of life, sitting in my room, helicopters above, and people moshing through our neighborhood, and through my driveway, I think a green fence will do, everyone had fancy gates, maybe the gates were a simple solution, to keeping others off the property in the event any more crowds came bursting through the neighborhood. Its not easy coming forward, not to one, and especially not to all, and share your story, but if it does help Im glad, and if not, do not blame those you are pansickenly detailed when trying to get help, it just may have been them that helped others, not get the ball rolling per se, but to help prevent the onset of mental health issues, once suffered as a result of studying the deficits of others, which is evident, when there is social unrest, and a few groups from within are unaffected, such as the children of a case, and when later social unrest occurs, become the influencers, or voices of reason, once they are able to have a voice, share.
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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