By the time you open up, it will have been expected for you to with reflection have opened up, under the totality of circumstances at the time, have some ability to provide some mature reflection as it relates to what is presumed to be something that everyone is going through. So while you may be in a moment of assembly, thinking or writing about what you think is important, it then becomes a waste of time to care for anyone, who is too busy backtracking trying to solve right now for instance. If you have ever kept a diary, you would never think that at some later point, it would be required to share you thoughts with everyone, to make some sort of difference as to what was thought of you, before you ever reached a place of stability in terms of output that matches the maturity of your audience, usually when going through something difficult, you can sound immature, or what you remember seem not consequential, or what you recall wondered about why important, there will be many times when you will have unimportant conversations with yourself, or have unimportant memories of having lived life, and its totally normal to see all your experiences in life as important, no one ever said that it was not okay to talk about your life or your experiences in life. So understand where other people are coming from, when you share something they deem to be inappropriate or unimportant to them, and when a heavy thumb is placed on of what importance are you speaking and about what and why, that’s the pressure, someone wanting to understand the significance of your experiences in life, trying to get to the bottom of something, which is usually their acceptance of you, needing a basis for understanding you, which is to understand what you are writing about and why, and why you remember things and why you are later discussing things you have remembered and for what purpose. This is why talking about your life, when you are going through something difficult, can seem like a slow uphill battle of recollections, not all of which will provide an answer to someone else problem with you not understanding the point of you talking, or feeling like you are talking for selfish reasons to get to some point in life of making anyone else look bad, this is why you don’t talk about others, and you especially don’t talk about anyone you do know or care about make reference to, while in discussion of what you think presently. We all go through learning curves in life, and they wouldn’t have called it “The Trial of the Century,” if that’s not what it was, not important, not significant, not consequential, not traumatizing, not historical, not devastating, not of issue to all, so as far back as you can remember, at what point did the past serve as a learning lesson, which you then applied, given your present understanding, of current power struggles, well had it not been for Fox News not fanning Barack Obama, then I would have not thought to visit the US Supreme Court instead, and was fortunate enough to meet them in person, and perform to the best of my ability taking notes, which Im not sure who read what and why or who went through my computer and why and what any desperation over who knows what ever became of significance at what point in time and why, when it mattered to know who thinks what, or what things are about, and to what end are others trying to reach for the comfort of kicking their feet up on their desk, and feeling like they did a good job, taking care of a situation that I don’t think everyone was ever thinking about in depth, in a public way, addressing all, concerning any discomforts at the time, I think people who are uncomfortable with you, its not that they don’t trust you, don’t love you, or don’t believe in you, it means that there is something going on with them, that could have nothing to do with you, or everything to do with you, Ive been through the same feeling, going somewhere that doesn’t exist, like an end point, or a state of arrival to wellness, that never fully seems to present itself no matter how well I am doing in life, and no matter what is going on in the world, that’s not a gift trauma, that’s being forced to focus on yourself, and to rely on others at some points in time who provide you with stability needed in order to feel safe, and as you get older you have to be more and more independent of others, and that’s the price you pay for isolating as a law student to focus on your studies, if you are not in control of your progress then who is, and then decide is it worth it to be attached to things in life, that are not helping you to feel better, or able to have a clear head and clear outlook in life. All computer data loss issues aside, and online memorials, you will experience a lot of loss in life, whats more important is how you respond in the event you lose something of value to you whether that be property or a boyfriend, friendship, or an ability, you are still you no matter what condition you are placed in, and as you get older more things will come to mind that probably did not come to mind when you were a child, protected from all arguments in life, including arguments about race, disease, winning teams. Don't let anyone convince you that you dont matter, or that life is sad if your own life is not sad yet, people in reflection will come to understand life differently than you see things, and while you have yet to see anything in that way, dont be surprised if you later figure out what all that thinking was about or where its coming from, that will always be the other side of things, the side that probably doesnt make you feel good, feel insulted by, or made to read into things in a way that hurts your own thinking about things, or causes you to feel bad, we can't all be on the same wavelength, allow for people to speak freely, even if its not about you, even if its their issue with you, we cant all be competitive in those respects to understand everyone in a way that all are made to feel better by. So while at the time that may have been an okay reaction for them to have toward you in disbelief, eventually you have to let go, and figure out life for yourself, just dont get lost trying o figure anyone out in life, you can always ask questions and state your fears, there is nothing wrong with not knowing what to do or how to think about things in a way that helps you to process what has gone wrong, without becoming scared yourself in disbelief. So be mindful, not to allow anything past to convince you that life is not living, or convince yourself that people dont care, and when has it ever been so intense that people have been unable to comprehend solution during a time of need, when is it ever okay to convince yourself that life is not good, or people are not good, or treat yourself as an insignificant part of any equations in life, if you have not understood history, or the meaning of life yet, then you will not have understood at 35 how much work goes into keeping you alive, and if you can understand that much about life, then you wont waste time being so defensive or over-focusing on subsidiary issues in life present or past, to convince yourself that life is more difficult than it has been, and if you cant take a look around and appreciate where you are and who you are surrounded with, living people, who care whether you are sick or not, then that’s one step in the right direction to staying well in life, no matter how far back you go trying to understand the historical importance of being a human being on earth, whether you are spiritual or not, connected or not, believe in yourself or not, admire people or not, survive or not, always do your best to let go, the more issues you compile as affecting you, the more things become about your own unhappiness in life, and misunderstanding about where you stand in the grand spectrum of issues, in terms of living a good life, or ever being someone important to anyone you have loved. So at what point does a conversation become heavy, if its not the solution, and if what you have to say does not better others, then that’s the point at which what you have to say becomes unhelpful, and that’s when the heavier your discussion gets, the more problems occur, not solved, by any mentions past, which is why its not in your best interests to use history as a prime example for anything having gone wrong with those people at that time based upon what every did or did not have in life, life gets better, so appreciate that much about the economy and technology, it was meant to save lives, not just by investing dollars in what is of value to us, but also to invest dollars into what give us meaning and purpose in life, connecting to things of value just like connecting people of value matters in terms of keeping people well. Everyone wants to feel good, and everyone wants to make other people feel good, one of the main problems, is people being mean to eachother, people bullying eachother, and people making people feel bad who don’t feel good to them, and maybe that’s how things will always be, not everyone will feel good to eahcother, and not everyone will be happy with themselves, proud, or feeling like everything is within reach, and to a fault sometimes, people take things too far, and it will always be based on what they know, how they feel, or what they see the problem to be, and not consider you apart of any solution in life, based upon your health or deficiencies, treat you as though you don’t matter, so that is why some people are famous and some people are not famous, there will always be a pecking order in terms of what gets distributed in life, or mass distributed for that matter, its based on what translates well and what makes sense to others, so even though you make sense to yourself, that doesn’t always mean that you are fit to tell your own story, and sometimes the last thing you need is for someone else to tell your story for you, as though you are not capable of representing yourself in life, and telling your own story first hand, in a diplomatic way, not in a controversial way, without blame, and without too much explanation in life, that you become regarded as someone who carries guilt, responds in guilt, or who has ever appeared guilty, or not well in public, and assume that you are not well or pretending to be better than you are, you cant fake wellness, that’s one thing you will learn as an adult, and you cant lie to anyone who is watching you, or who has watched you over the years, and knows your patterns in life, or feels like they have a good understanding of what disempowers you, or what makes you feel good being you in life, no feeling lasts forever, including your smarts, you will always be challenged and tested in life, and the more thoughtful you are, sometimes the better sense you later make, the less you care about others, the more selfish you appear to be, and the fewer connections you have in life, the less significant your experiences in life are deemed to be, just don’t allow anyone to convince anyone to push you onto any planks in life, so that you don’t exist, or label you as being anyone who has ever let anyone or everyone down in life, you don’t really become that responsible for other peoples feelings until you become famous, or until you become know, until you get likes, or until you have published your own story. So know your place in life, do your best not to allow others to intimidate you, or cause you to feel like youre not apart of, whether or not they take your badge back. When people are done with you, that’s them punishing your privately, because they don’t see you as someone worth fighting for, or someone worth defending, or someone worth representing in life, and that’s how you get put out to be on your own in life, when people think you have it good in life, they don’t ever foresee the repercussions of their reactions toward you, and really don’t care of the consequences to your psyche, when they respond poorly to you, its as though you are supposed to be responsible for the moods of others or their instability around you, and that’s not always your fault, what issues seem pressing or of importance for them to discern in life, and you will not know what anyone has gone through in life emotionally, until you go through it yourself, just don’t take anyone badge back, just because they complain. That’s life everyone has attitude, everyone has deadlines, everyone is short, everyone bottles up, and everyone either supports you or gives up on you, and it will always be your responsibility to do your best to ensure that others are in acceptance of you, that you appreciate others, and that you do not pose a risk or problem to anyone who has crossed your path in life, later become responsible for anything that has later happened to you in life, as a result of them letting you go in life.
Originally Posted 02-01-21
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You may not get along with everyone, and you might not click with everyone, everyone is running on different information these days, and in the street sense of the word, going by what they hear also, which can be in reality, or through other means, meaning focused on. Not everyone can handle the pressure of who they later become known through, and that’s the pressure of public speaking, who is attached to you or listening from your advisement, and the communications back through feeling may not always be so easy to discern, it’s a pressure like no other, speaking in public, and having a balanced opinion in life. If anyone could be you, who would you be, to set a good example for, and how would you be to ensure the safety needs of those attached to you who know you, take their feelings into consideration, as you speak online, for a solid two years I was a top blogger, but when reality hits in an offensive way, that’s to test your spirit whether you get brought down by the beliefs, sayings, or expressions of others, or whether you accept all with pride, no matter what is said, be glad that others are speaking too and themselves around you, that’s what life is all about, understanding and having compassion for others, no matter where their humor lies, or motivations in life, we cant fulfill the dreams of all people who come into our life, the benefit will eventually run out the harder you are on yourself or others, that’s not perfection that’s rejection, or job loss. To overcome a set of conditions, that you in your heart believe is the right thing to do, is why you decide to support a professionally made campaign that has been around longer than you have ever thought twice or brought into consideration their interests in combatting violence. I think coming from a “high profile” case, you automatically are geared in a way to help a situation, and at a young age, you don’t necessarily, worry too much about the negatives, and do a good job performing to whatever standards were expected of you in helping to take care of those suffering, under unwanted spotlights in life, the goal is always for everyone to be well adjusted, to feel safe, to not be in need, to be independent, to move forward, to outgrow insecurity, and that’s not letting them win, whoever those voices are, and whatever news helicopters are flying over head, over your home, it may have not been a traumatic childhood for you, but for me, it was a constant need that needed to be fulfilled, being a good friend, being professional, being well behaved, being funny, being supportive, introducing friends to one another, able to cater to the needs of others, Ive never been a selfish person, Ive never been into myself, Ive never cared about looks, Ive always done well in school and sports, its only later in life, that benefit becomes an issue, how much is on your plate and why, why are you helping everyone online, and why were you ever not trying your best and doing well in life, or suffering, was there any support lost at the time you fell ill, and what were the causes for you falling ill. I think when Star Magazine announced that OJ was dead in jail, I realized that my time had run out and cried in my cubicle in law school. If you have known a person since you were 4 years old and grew up at their house and on every family vacation, then yes that would make you special, that would make you important, and that would make you affected, and not feel apart of, or to yourself, not to social, focused, and trying to do well in life, not to suffer, not to not be a good friend, or not to not represent the issues and risks inherent to tweeting online, which I recently disclosed to my boss of 7 days, and then I was let go, not needed. It’s a confusing task of acceptance of you, and if you are not in it for the reasons, then you become a fire joke to a bunch of wealthy businessmen and women, who manage money and people for a living, and think that everythings a political communication to be made to demonstrate that they have a heart and to make you look like you don’t have a heart. So that’s your image being used, to make themselves look good, and as a result if you do not demonstrate traits or a story line, or by line, that represents what youre life has been like, where you are now, and if no one feels sorry for you then that’s letting a lawsuit win, or a breakup win, or a condition or diagnosis win, and that’s not helpful to me or the recent 13 suicides of students, who need school, just like I needed school (law school) to survive all the hate, politics, misinformation, rumors, assumptions, and aggressive legal strategies used to make fun of people out of court. I wrote a very thoughtful book after the first fire, and wrote several drafts of books after each fire, and that’s not my fault if there are wild fires, or make fun of me based upon entertainment decisions made, with regards to what other writers I have been in contact with. When a book gets tampered with that’s to label you an offender, a bad decision maker, make fun of your sex life, or dating history, Im not a fraud, Im a Brady Member, Im not obsessed the organization was recommended to me, and my friendship ended because I supported Brady not because of my Twitter which was disclosed to my boss of 7 days, and he let me go.
Originally Posted: 02-08-21 My boss is positive again, still working on being present and focused on moving forward in life. I went through a lot privately I was trying to stay chill and not expose 17M fans to the hecticness of private communications gone wrong, Ive never experienced any situation in life, where I was ever controlled, slowed down, convinced, insulted, made to look stupid, experienced changes not aware of, and the upon detachment become so smart again that was so weird, I guess you get stuck thinking about who you are connected to whether consciously aware of it or not, it seems to be some new experimental system of communication, so just be careful who you chat with, dont be too needy, dont share too much, learn to be professional, allow people to learn to respect you, and to respect all the stages of your personal development, be understanding of space, and if youre online, you dont need to talk that much in private, not unless you are trying to earn trust back, respect is reserved for the elite only, unfortunately, so wher ever Im cruising in life, whatever playing field Im on, Im always doing my best, being myself. I was lucky enough to open up, and he replied, so its important to let your boss know of your situations in life, otherwise if you go through something and dont tell them about it, that can subject them to harm assumed to know everything about you, especially if they have just met you, so understand peoples limitations, be courteous, honest, thoughtful, dont expect anyone to chase you in life, you have to be willing and able to work again, so get all the issues down on paper, then tell yourself, Im not gonna let that happen to me ever again, and apologize to everyone, I didnt realize that my alexa would turn red, but everything happens for a reason, hope everyone is doing okay, doing my best to be strong for everyone, and hopefully still keep in touch, study and write helpful things with links, to help all the new research minded people feel challenged in a good way, theres so much to learn so much to read so much to know, dont fret if you get stuck, just ask for help, and always be a lady, was what has been recommended, so whatever you kept in mind, you dont also have to share, it can be for the same reasons that kept you strong in life, can affect what you stand for eventually, just do your best, be kind.
If you get demoralized in life, not only do you appear to be a smaller human being, then no one is on your team! Everything will figure itself out on its own, take responsibility, when you look stupid, and fix the problem. #bebrave! Sincerely, Leslie Fischman mymollydoll.com If something can be done to fix your life, better yourself, be taken more seriously, then do what you can to live a better life, the times are already difficult as is, this is when faith is important, not necessarily a one solution remedy to fix the times required. If you have ever been through a difficult time in life, it could be something that you have no control over, feeling hurt, and that physical disability occurring for you is something you need to report to your doctor or to the police, there will always be moments when you cant move forward usually occurring when you feel harmed, if you ever need help and don’t know who to ask for help that would be your doctor or the police. What makes now different. It seems that the more intense the issues become the more serious and intense everyone gets, that’s a natural reaction to seeing anything that causes you unhappiness, frustration, or fear. That’s just the times, unpredictable. If you ever want to be apart of change its starts with you, what your faith is, what do you want? We all have the time to think at this point, probably too much about life, but its always in action that problems are solved, not on your own, not in your head, and no without studying or preparing yourself in advance should anything go wrong, not wait until its too late to get help. Understand that your emergencies in life, may put you under pressure, and don’t be offended if no one else recognizes whats important to you in life, and what matters to you in life, people are pretty selfish when it comes to happiness, expecting you to either make them happy, be there for them, or on a personal level, be absent minded everything in life that has ever caused you stress, that’s the type of stuff you don’t share one on one to friends or loved ones, problems are best dealt with talking to a professional who can advise you, its not a solution you can read and suddenly feel well, we are not all gifted in that respect to be invincible and fearless, and even if it goes over your head, that doesn’t mean that any facts of life will hit you in the wrong way, and cause you to not feel well, facts shouldn’t be that shocking in life, only if you allow yourself to become overwhelmed, or freeze in response to others, no one has the power to control your thoughts or your output, not through reading, and not through route memorization of your disclosures, there will always come a time in life to be professional, but if you are not doing what is best for you and others, don’t be surprised if you are made an example of “shot on your way up” just to make a “50 cent joke” about you, or your cares in the world, and if you suffer, don’t also allow your sufferings to accept or negatively impact what is going well for whatever organizations are working in support of others. I think I am someone who speaks freely, and when my heart is in it, sometimes I am able to say the right thing, or explain something in a way that makes sense. We all improve overtime, that’s just life, better to live without expectations in life, and improve, then set your standards too high, of self or others, that’s no way to live life under imagined pressures in life, whether created by another to make you feel small, or created to disempower you to give strength to others, there will always be people better than you in life, and if that’s not enough to intimidate you in life, and stop trying so hard in life, well then you are only letting yourself down in life. #stopsuicide, never give up.
Originally Posted 02-03-21 Sometimes talking doesn’t help, and if its ever your responsibility to protect other people from harm, then that would not be the time to open up, or to present things in a way, that appears as though you are arguing, or becoming defensive to anyone over their own issues in life, making things about you. When does a good idea, no longer become effective. I think at the point of disagreement, is when whatever side is better situated in life, becomes the representative figure to your story, or decidingly so to speak about you, whether for you or against you in life, and that’s life, not everyone will be on your side, and expect for others to shrug off your issues, in discomfort, not make what youre going through about them either. Rarely are our problems about others, but more to do without own unhappiness in life, or lack of success, failure. Just as your success is important to you, so is the success of those who come into your life, expecting a benefit, whether or not you can provide that benefit, if you are not God you cannot make things happen for people in life, that they cannot readily ascertain on their own, without your help or by use of your identity, and this is where the cookie crumbles. Where someone has provided advocacy, instead is made to appear as though success is generated by the reverse, using people for political stamina, or for vocalization of issues, which then now affect them in the immediate, so why would anyone in harms way waste time energy and effort and money on speaking to everyone, if one cannot protect others from harm, and create a safe space to think, and dissect the issues, in a non-confrontational way, whether that’s with understanding of peoples issues with you, whether that’s to do with your specific identity, wanting to make money off of you, manage people on your behalf, or talk to people on your behalf, degrade you, shame you, and make fun of your ethnicity and heritage, and make fun of an otherwise pleasant interaction, to add fruit to the tree of responsibility, cast you out to be sexually inviting, or not special or unique in it of your self in life, made on your own, success, then that is someone wanting to tell the story of an offender, then situating you similarly, to fail or become suicidal, and treat you as though you are drawn to the wrong things in life, or are taking cues from outsiders, and hurting whatever is inside the equation current that is bringing others stability to not over invest in any ideas or strategies for that matter in putting people down in life, based upon whats going well, eventually you have to leave people alone, and trust that what is going well is going well because one is well and is not causing problems, but once you make things about others, who are at peace with someone who is doing well, then you are allowing for someone to get beat up in life, based upon being misrepresented to not have been endearing, or consoling, or supportive, or friendly, or creative, or loving, or absent minded fears wherever they may lie, rape is not a joke, rape is not a fantasy, and rape whether by technology going through peoples records, or evaluating their medical history does not give you the right to do away with an otherwise pleasant identity online, to affect the life of someone who has improved who is not at risk of harm, who is presently helping others, cause them to feel bad about themselves and not succeed in life, what is conflict? Conflict is someone not understanding why you are well, and test you based on assuming you sent a box of responsibility in life in defense of self, with no allegations made, be treated as though you should understand what is going wrong in your own life, fix yourself, and understand the concept of "the silent treatment.", To make things look or appear to be about what they are thinking, can only do you more harm than good, and instead of clarifying any issues or concerns, you get made out to be the one with issues, or be considered someone who has done others wrong, and thats when your side is not taken, and that is why someone who did not have any problems, later comes to understand life lived with people hard on you not kind to you, if you respond in public unnecessarily in a way that leaves you in isolation in life, dont be that person in life. The less you assume the better off you'll be, and even if at the time nothing is anything or something that you feel equally offended by, that will not stop those who respond in support to anyone you have mentioned, not be in support of you, so thats losing support in life, based upon your mental health, or causes for becoming disillusioned and made to live a harder life than deserved, thats suffering, whether or not you know of what has happened that you have done wrong, those who know you, will always judge you by what you have to say, determine on their own whether you have contributed in a negative way to anything going well, which lends the question of whether you reacted in response to things you understood and became offended by and what was it that caused you to change and be so vocal seeking help in life in a public way. Confidence is a trait that is exerted over you during any period of sickness or instability, its when others expect you to be well, and become disappointed in you if you are not doing well, let alone ever feel embarrassed by you or what you have to say, think that you knowingly speak in a way to effect anyone who does know you or has known you since 2008 (President Barack Obama), so if in one instance you were able to inform prior to an incident occurring, that does not also mean that anyone around you is aware that you have tried to help in the past before law school started, and then try to blame you as being the incident of hospitalization or the person in error or the defective identity known treat you as a source of discomfort, the point of no return will always be what you allow to happen, or whether you do your best to not be an example of something going wrong in the lives of anyone, who would rather not see life through the lens of someone who has ever suffered from mental health issues. So don't make things about you in a negative way, or assume that anything has ever been said in the negative to misrepresent what youre about without mention of your name or face, the less you assume, the less you give power to situation taken into the hands of another, allow to affect you, or be used as a provided excuse for whatever does not go right for you in life. If no one has ever treated me like that, if I don’t deserve to be treated like that, and if that is not helping but hurting others to see someone of value be degraded in public, then that is using someone elses identity, for the purposes of feeling good, and the hurting someone with a clear identity because you do not recognize me as a victim of homicide or a high profile case, equally subjected to illness, sickness, and a mental illness, and disability, if situated on the wrong teams in life. Don’t push someone into a fragile state, and then blame them or treat them as though they are to waste time energy and effort treat as negotiating with the principles of any group being directed by hate, or by impulse, by feeling alone, and without forethought that maybe things are going right its because someone is doing a very good job of living life disciplined. Don’t scare people, don’t intimidate people, and don’t heighten already rumored tensions existing with regards to the direction and focus presently working for others, who are doing their best to steer clear of negative energy or unhappiness in life, I think we have all suffered from enough embarrassment at this point, and I think everyone wants to get strong again, no matter whos family is the frontrunner first in line, up top, or running the show or trying to cheer everyone up, I think we have all suffered at varying lengths and I think everyone is to the best of their ability doing their best to avoid illness at this point in time not be attacked for stupid reasons over how someone holds a private conversation, and what causes them to lose their professional stride. #donthurtwomenplease #menshealth
It would never be safe to put lives on the line when it comes to image, that would be an irresponsible antee in terms of making any bets in life, when it comes to what people think, that’s something you cant bet on or predict, that’s just an earned trait, people skills, when the odds are with you in life in terms of acceptances and sounding well to others, that’s not class, that’s tact, and that’s not a vocabulary ability to speak to others in a way, that levitates you or places you among the best, that occurs overtime, not by communications public or private, but by communications on paper officially submitted in conjunction to the opinions already held by them. I am not someone to represent someone poorly, but I am someone who others do not want to be represented by. And just as its not okay to make Hitler, “Odole Rules,” Osama Bin Laden, jokes about me sharing my thoughts, or my ability to move forward past trauma, does not give you ammunition if mentioned to say that if stated in reality I would take personal offense to such commentary, as though trying to teach me how to think evil or make evil jokes like a triple axel Barack Obama joke, that’s like if he “shot a Father and son responsible for 9/11” overseas and found them, that similarly committing suicide if my Father dies, would be to communicate a similar message of blames, as though assuming that is something evil thought about my family and I. Because if mentioned as affecting thought to literally be something plausibly connected as though in my power to DJ the correct songs prior to 9/11, and that my DJ-ing abilities were responsible for 9/11, I don’t think so, but I do take all assumptions into account. Triple axel meaning quadruple homicide, that would be two people dying for a crime, then two other people dying as though being framed for the same crimes, as responsible parties, via DJ-ing rap music, or alluding to Rap Music being the song DJ’d that inspired the taking down of the Towers as though Black People should be threatened that a Black Rapper’s song was alluded to in the terrification of NY and our Country as a whole, that any medium we produce could be used for a negative purpose, by another culture who understands what brings us pride, our differences, not our similarities clearly. For anyone new not from 1985, its seems ridiculous, how much we have improved, doesn’t seem to see the value in anyone who is not evolved. I choose not to evolve, not to be adept to trends, but have done my best to evolve when it comes to technology building a website of my own without advisement from anyone. As far as Im concerned, my beliefs don’t seem to matter in a culture that was so fixated on “predicting” well they were gonna free OJ that was predictable, and she didn’t have to go to law school, and its not because she visited that he was freed. To argue that it was my drug or alcohol use that led to my suicide, not what I comprehended and wrote about, and that it was because of my own instability that I committed suicide, not having to do with anyone elses beliefs or non-belief in me, while trying to go to law school. If people respect you they don’t think less of you, and if someone does not see you as having “overcome adversity” doesn’t understand what I have overcome, and was advised to write about, as having overcome “adversity.” I don’t have dirty thoughts about others, I don’t even look at people, and to be treated as though Im a dirty person, who comes on too strong, is typical of who is thought to be above me, as though I am a lesser caliber of woman to be involved with, not solely because I am older, but because of who my family is, treat me poorly, as though my decision making when it comes to men, is poor [removed -Called the DA today, not a requirement to speak].
Removed Comment Rec'd Things arent always as they seem, as degrading as sexuality is, and what you look like, judged on the basis of your track record, who you have hooked up with when and why, and what were the circumstances, and how old were you, when you stopped dating, I stopped dating 2014, that was a choice I made, to live a disciplined life sober, that doesnt mean youre not allowed to have fun, be social, vlog, write on Twitter, be fun, or try to be known in a good way, what you dont expect is to be known in a bad way, and who can control that anyways. I think you have to have a really big heart, and live a really supported lifestyle in order to be happy, appear happy, and to shed light on the good things about life, given your standing and position in life, able to get a job, graduate, or overcome setbacks past with confidence, and speak in a way, that doesnt set off any alarms or red flags for anyone when considering whether or not to make you apart of their life, you will meet a lot of people in life, some will stand out and be more memorable than others, there is always time to live life, overcome heartache, depression, bipolar, voices, addiction, alcoholism, theses are all choices you make that set you back in terms of what your goals in life achieve, we all take the time to talk to friends, text, get to know people, be out and about, thats not the draining aspect of life being around people, what your confidence ultimately comes down to, is being happy with yourself, not let others down, not speak in a way that anyone would ever take personally something you have to say, and think that how you feel is not supporting their personality type, I think 17 million people met me at one point, I probably was not trying to be known by that many people, and thats what it means to do a good job, healing, recovering, moving forward, letting go, not harping on the past, being thankful, and eventually be in a place in life where you are accepted, you are loved, can share a laugh, maybe not relapse and be incoherent, but be able to accept where you have been in life, and know that because you have done everything right is why you were able to be strong for everyone else, during a difficult period in life, or extreme everything, life gets lonely, thankfully we have social media and people who work online and already made systems of communications for us in advance, just in case we forget what our lives were like, who is important to us, its easy to get lost, when you are out and about or being social online, and sometimes you forget the basics, not talking to strangers, not getting jobs through people, not accepting offers, not accepting favors, not using the "@" button, including less meaning people you admire, including less story about yourself, being more mature, being more protective, being a strong person, not letting anyone bring you down in life, being more professional, sounding smarter, overcoming doubts, being less intimidated, being more comfortable, half of life is one on one, the rest of life is like a pinball machine of interaction, so be a good person, be an understanding person, be a wise person, be a kind person, and do your best not to be too defensive, not to assume too much, just as you are analyzing your own life bit by bit, dont be scared if someone else decides to investigate your timelines in life, and have a different take about your direction and purpose in life, which may at the time seem meaningful to you, but mostly if we are doing something that feels good we dont see the harm in it, and its when you are blind to the repercussions, or without awareness for the potential of harm and irreversible damage you can do to your life, saying something you cannot take back, or appearing in a way thats off putting, well thats no time to act or give up in life, or all sense of normalcy, thats when you need to button up and take life seriously. I have no idea how to make a good impression after a bad impression, and I have no idea how to come back from overreacting, it seems thats the glue that keeps people stuck together, and seems to be the point of leaving you out of equations in life, until you are well adjusted again, and sometimes being emotional, becomes the exact reason that others find you unapproachable, or live life in more questions than answers, so dont bottle up, be yourself, dont be shy, there is always time to fix your life, there is always time to be a good role model, and there is always time for forgiveness.
Originally Posted: 02-06-21 I’ve been holding off on telling everyone the good news, but think it would be best to formerly announce that I have just been approved, hired as Paralegal to Attorney Andrew Lehman [1]. I will be working from home, and look forward to my first assignment. After two years of blogging, and proving my self worth, it seems that things will be working out for me after all, and be the person my Parents have always wanted me to be, a professional with a job, not just blogging. This is why I graduated from Law School. If you don’t have your goals set in life, don’t forget about who you could’ve been, or what you wanted to be, pressure can change you for the worst. Its easy to get stuck thinking about the wrong things in life, and whats even more difficult is coming to terms with your own thoughts about life, and represent yourself well in spite of whatever mental health issues you may face or encounter in life. The goal should always be to be your happy, normal, version of yourself, whoever that might be. With a new job comes new responsibility, to make sure I continue to provide information that suits the best interests of all, no matter what my private life looks like, and keep everything here, separate from my work life, to me that presents a future challenge, to continue to be myself online, and also work toward growing as a working professional helping to represent others in life. I may not be famous, and I may be distantly connected to many people who have experienced success in life, that also does not mean that I am not one of them too. I think I serve as a great example of someone who was convinced that they were something that they were not, and became someone better. For some reason, I expected to turn out to be a worse version of myself, which didn’t last for long, just 4 long and hard years 2017 to 2021, recuperating from a ton of misunderstanding, and a ton of problems, I don’t necessarily think that I deserved to inherit, not by knowing anyone of importance, but as you later learn you are who you pay attention to, and for whoever stands out to you in life, understand that its probably because they are in a place in life, that you hope to someday be similarly situated and able to be looked at in a professional way, respected. We don’t always get that much, everyone is going through something in life, and especially now, people are more sensitive than most, which is why its become more important to be less experimental with my own health, and start working under the direction of someone with experience, and learn how to work for others, to help others in a professional way, and to represent others in a way that they can appreciate, not allow personal battles to overtake whatever direction Im going in life. Id like to take this time to thank all my fans, thank all my supporters, thank all my friends, thank all my bosses, and thank my family for never giving up on me, for giving me time to heal, for being around in my good moments, for leaving me alone when I needed to rest, and for continuing to be apart of my life, no matter what obstacles I face, everything is possible if you have enough nerve, you just have to put yourself out there sometimes, in order to get anywhere in life worthwhile, if you don’t try, you will never know where you could have been in life, had you tried harder in life, whether that be for job, romance, or friendship, never stop continuing to move forward in life. Hope everyone is doing well today, and wish everyone the best of luck this coming year!
Reference: [1] https://lehmandata.com/ 01-31-21 It doesn’t matter where you have worked, that cant stop bad interpretations of your life as lived from happening, not if no one is on your side, or speaking in support of you, instead for others. If you have lived a difficult and challenging life, then you would understand the importance of what is said and how it is said, it just may be the determining factor for what you go down for in history, which moment defines you, its not always your choice. And although there may be times when you are losing your battle with mental health issues, respect, and feeling like you belong anywhere for that matter, the less time you spend on improving the worse things get for you politically, there will always be negative judgment past whenever you seem as though you are someone who does not value yourself, or make decisions for the wrong reasons. What makes a fierce advocate? I think first of you have to keep your side of the street clean, you cannot change the way people feel about you, and you have to respect the decisions of others, based upon whether they can accept you as apart of their life, reasons for delay, and what happens in between the time spent with someone you love and admire, made to feel differently about yourself, you cant always take love advice from people who don’t respect your dating style or the standards of your relationships with men, always as described, based on what it ever was, people will try to convince you that you can do better, or not be enthusiastic about your choices in life, not seem like a good fit, and you cant go on waiting either, and if you ever lower your standards based upon anything else going on in the world, then that will the same standard that others will treat you as, not accepting you on the basis of where you have been, who you have been with, job status, social status, political ideologies, and correspondences. When does it become your responsibility to help? I think when you represent an issue, not that anyone is territorial to what matters to them, not in a defensive way care, or intervene, but on the basis for who is being represented along with any other vocalizations concerning private interests. I don’t think that books, work in terms, or negotiating with any opposition in life, and calling them may not be the solution either, to figure out on what basis, is anyone so confirmed that they are doing what is right, when things are going well, hurt the definition of what it means to represent your own country, ideals, or even what the reputation of any tech app or tv show, have anything to do with how people are made to feel who then become associated via what is brought up and ongoing in the news at the moment, advocacy provided for. There will always be risk so long as issues are compounded, maybe why I took my “World Peace” page down and video, it doesn’t really seem to explain why I was writing in that tone or for what reasons personal empathized with, and if it can be regarded as something that’s not helping, or influential in a positive way, then the meaning has been lost, along with the purpose for sharing at that point in time what I was thinking about in life and in quiet reflection about. Coming forward is not easy, its not easy when you have done nothing wrong, and have been made to feel as though you have done something wrong, so helping a situation is hearing from the other side, without giving your power away to anyone else, to determine what are the issues pressing that is affecting everyone, whats personal, and who is being made to serve as a representative figure to anyones clients. There was one file at work that said “Stormy Daniels” and that was with a “Trump” pen pal that I was then separated from at work, phone taken to the other room, I don’t text at work but was receiving messages from. I don’t think messenger or any text messaging forum is suitable for sexual relations, I think it’s a simple space to share your feelings and ideas, your goals and dreams, your worries, share a little bit about yourself, and keep things friendly, not a way to communicate your fears, explain your disability, or be controlled by anyone on a daily basis, or be forced to comply to any standards in order to continue talking with anyone, who becomes disinterested in you, there will always be reasons for people losing interest in you, and it will mostly have to do with your own wellness, and how you present yourself, people will want to know you, maybe even support you, but that does not mean that they will continue to respect you, or say anything to serve your best interests at a later point in time, no one who is not in your life, can represent you, be your spokesperson, or explain to others how you are, or why you are the way that you are, and if you are someone like me who is protecting the best interests of a company, or a brand, or an organization committed to helping people to make the right choices in life, then you would understand your own professional responsibility, to not be thrown into the mix, of who has presented a problem, and not served the best interests of those they have sought to represent in the positive, even if you are not included as a member to any of that good luck in life or good fortune, there will always be bigger, better, smarter people than you in life, don’t let anyone intimidate you, or convince others that you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing in life, or be blamed as being a source of embarrassment to anyone, and allow others who later come into your life, to situate themselves similarly based on something you have said, that they have interpreted in the negative or feel gives them the go ahead, to injure, harm, misrepresent, bully, coerce, intangle, disable, ridicule, or subject you to prosecutions in life, based upon a representation of you, that was directed under threat to comply with, to stop future harm being done to you. That’s the main lesson, you cannot negotiate with someone who is trying to overpower you, or put you down in life, ruin your career, interrupt your psyche, cause you mental disturbance, self harm, or subject you off into a vague political sphere of insults and derogatory humor and company names and references to designate you as someone who is not the bringer of luck, but compare you to any figure historical pass, who they have come to identify you as in what they thought was from the goodness of their heart, not specifically stated to you in your face, but overheard in the form of voices, that’s someone not on your team in life, who thinks that your legal education, location of school, suicide attempt (2009), medications, dating history, breakups, tantrums, self-harm, self-injury, is about people not understanding you, your struggle trying to get a job, and also be viewed as someone who does not act with care and careful attention to the issues in an educated way do their best to present what in their mind is of importance of value, whether or not there is a consequential component, or direct connection between something I have seen or experienced in life, connected to any other bad experiences in life or sufferings. That’s the misunderstanding of judging someone who is trying to help and presents themselves and does what is right, whether or not they are cued by others, who mostly try to intimidate you and convince you that you are guilty of something, and that’s when others are spacey, and you are sharp, is when you generally leave situations that seem disorganized, and to not draw attention to anyone during those moments, or indecision, or uncertainty, and that’s the point of communication, never do anything as a surprise, and never say anything without thinking things through, and never speak to anyone of importance, unless your not guilty, and anyone elses attitude toward you in life, is for personal reasons, become unavailable or busy. People expect you to stay in place, and that gives some people control over you, maybe not all other outcomes in life, but if things are not getting better, than to me that means that a change needs to be made in my life, not give up, I honestly don’t think I have time to learn an entire new profession, why I started applying for law jobs again and finished law school. If studying law was something that I was passionate about and loved, and felt a tremendous amount of peace with, then that is where I do best in law school, or focusing on my academics. If not one respects your story, or anone who has read your story without authorization as to the causes for your suicide attempt (2009) then that’s them studying you without your permission, before publishing your book. So something not mentioned was mentioned and a column put in my book with a graph paper, my first self-published book. Don’t blame me for Aurora, don’t blame me for school shootings, don’t blame me for being Jewish, don’t blame me for reporting to the US Supreme Court, don’t blame me for calling the Boulder DA, the Oklahoma DA, and the Texas DA, just recently OK and TX. It has gotten out of hand, there is not such thing as a cover up, I don’t have an attorney to talk to about my issues, or the voices I get, I only have a therapist to talk to, and I became a member of Brady, out of the goodness of my heart, because I wanted to put my good name to good use, and that was my choice. What causes death? When people fall ill due to addiction, and drugs, that hurts everyone, that’s also not the cause for more death or more sickness, even if you think the same way as they do, even if you understand their story, even if you empathize with their families, even if you know more than the general public knows about specific people, their motivations, causes for support, and social associations in life. You cannot blame someone for a dress the wore in Las Vegas (2008) by the Olsen Twins, or the only black heels available at Saks, Christian Louboutin. If its an epidemic, then its not for study for why it occurs or how it occurs, that’s the bottom line, and you don’t blame peoples identities, associations, distant relationships, connections, knowledge of identities, or reputation, as the problem, or the cause for anyone else manifestation of hate and violence in life, don’t situate someone who is education, performed well in school, makes friends easily, does not have a hard time finding a date, or dating in general, who lives alone, and studies, and runs everyday, trying to stay fit, its my face and my body, and if I am proud of myself, then that’s why I only took less than 10 pictures the entire time. When someone puts you down in life, that’s to blame you for things they have not said, without telling you, and thinking that that will not affect you, even if held by people you don’t know and opinion of you you cant hear, its an energy, of distrust, and that distrust eventually adds up to action, and those actions are then taken from someone who carries a negative judgement within them, and that energy carries over to people around them, why its important not to get rallied up or intense about people in life, what people think, or even waste time and energy persuading others or even yourself, that what you are feeling is real in a negative way or in turn be made to accuse anyone else of being the provider of that instability and energy that is causing you torment, or not to feel like yourself confident. So that’s an uneven exchange in life, usually resulting from a lack of clarity, and so long as you remain in that condition, it can get worse, the less you are able to say, and the more fear is instilled upon you, to disclose everything that feels like that feeling, to see if you have done anything wrong, if you have ever been scared, if you have ever felt disempowered, if you have ever felt used, if you have ever failed, if you have ever struggled, if you have ever needed help, if you have ever been not believed, or if you have ever been a source of shame or embarrassment to anyone, at whatever level of intelligence you arrived to or didn’t arrive to, and based upon what you have said past not a good enough try at presenting the best version of yourself.
#trust #stopschoolshootings #mentalhealth #heros #influencers #feelings #negativejudgments It doesn’t matter where you have worked, that cant stop bad interpretations of your life as lived from happening, not if no one is on your side, or speaking in support of you, instead for others. If you have lived a difficult and challenging life, then you would understand the importance of what is said and how it is said, it just may be the determining factor for what you go down for in history, which moment defines you, its not always your choice. And although there may be times when you are losing your battle with mental health issues, respect, and feeling like you belong anywhere for that matter, the less time you spend on improving the worse things get for you politically, there will always be negative judgment past whenever you seem as though you are someone who does not value yourself, or make decisions for the wrong reasons. What makes a fierce advocate? I think first of you have to keep your side of the street clean, you cannot change the way people feel about you, and you have to respect the decisions of others, based upon whether they can accept you as apart of their life, reasons for delay, and what happens in between the time spent with someone you love and admire, made to feel differently about yourself, you cant always take love advice from people who don’t respect your dating style or the standards of your relationships with men, always as described, based on what it ever was, people will try to convince you that you can do better, or not be enthusiastic about your choices in life, not seem like a good fit, and you cant go on waiting either, and if you ever lower your standards based upon anything else going on in the world, then that will the same standard that others will treat you as, not accepting you on the basis of where you have been, who you have been with, job status, social status, political ideologies, and correspondences. When does it become your responsibility to help? I think when you represent an issue, not that anyone is territorial to what matters to them, not in a defensive way care, or intervene, but on the basis for who is being represented along with any other vocalizations concerning private interests. I don’t think that books, work in terms, or negotiating with any opposition in life, and calling them may not be the solution either, to figure out on what basis, is anyone so confirmed that they are doing what is right, when things are going well, hurt the definition of what it means to represent your own country, ideals, or even what the reputation of any tech app or tv show, have anything to do with how people are made to feel who then become associated via what is brought up and ongoing in the news at the moment, advocacy provided for. There will always be risk so long as issues are compounded, maybe why I took my “World Peace” page down and video, it doesn’t really seem to explain why I was writing in that tone or for what reasons personal empathized with, and if it can be regarded as something that’s not helping, or influential in a positive way, then the meaning has been lost, along with the purpose for sharing at that point in time what I was thinking about in life and in quiet reflection about. Coming forward is not easy, its not easy when you have done nothing wrong, and have been made to feel as though you have done something wrong, so helping a situation is hearing from the other side, without giving your power away to anyone else, to determine what are the issues pressing that is affecting everyone, whats personal, and who is being made to serve as a representative figure to anyones clients. There was one file at work that said “Stormy Daniels” and that was with a “Trump” pen pal that I was then separated from at work, phone taken to the other room, I don’t text at work but was receiving messages from. I don’t think messenger or any text messaging forum is suitable for sexual relations, I think it’s a simple space to share your feelings and ideas, your goals and dreams, your worries, share a little bit about yourself, and keep things friendly, not a way to communicate your fears, explain your disability, or be controlled by anyone on a daily basis, or be forced to comply to any standards in order to continue talking with anyone, who becomes disinterested in you, there will always be reasons for people losing interest in you, and it will mostly have to do with your own wellness, and how you present yourself, people will want to know you, maybe even support you, but that does not mean that they will continue to respect you, or say anything to serve your best interests at a later point in time, no one who is not in your life, can represent you, be your spokesperson, or explain to others how you are, or why you are the way that you are, and if you are someone like me who is protecting the best interests of a company, or a brand, or an organization committed to helping people to make the right choices in life, then you would understand your own professional responsibility, to not be thrown into the mix, of who has presented a problem, and not served the best interests of those they have sought to represent in the positive, even if you are not included as a member to any of that good luck in life or good fortune, there will always be bigger, better, smarter people than you in life, don’t let anyone intimidate you, or convince others that you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing in life, or be blamed as being a source of embarrassment to anyone, and allow others who later come into your life, to situate themselves similarly based on something you have said, that they have interpreted in the negative or feel gives them the go ahead, to injure, harm, misrepresent, bully, coerce, intangle, disable, ridicule, or subject you to prosecutions in life, based upon a representation of you, that was directed under threat to comply with, to stop future harm being done to you. That’s the main lesson, you cannot negotiate with someone who is trying to overpower you, or put you down in life, ruin your career, interrupt your psyche, cause you mental disturbance, self harm, or subject you off into a vague political sphere of insults and derogatory humor and company names and references to designate you as someone who is not the bringer of luck, but compare you to any figure historical pass, who they have come to identify you as in what they thought was from the goodness of their heart, not specifically stated to you in your face, but overheard in the form of voices, that’s someone not on your team in life, who thinks that your legal education, location of school, suicide attempt (2009), medications, dating history, breakups, tantrums, self-harm, self-injury, is about people not understanding you, your struggle trying to get a job, and also be viewed as someone who does not act with care and careful attention to the issues in an educated way do their best to present what in their mind is of importance of value, whether or not there is a consequential component, or direct connection between something I have seen or experienced in life, connected to any other bad experiences in life or sufferings. That’s the misunderstanding of judging someone who is trying to help and presents themselves and does what is right, whether or not they are cued by others, who mostly try to intimidate you and convince you that you are guilty of something, and that’s when others are spacey, and you are sharp, is when you generally leave situations that seem disorganized, and to not draw attention to anyone during those moments, or indecision, or uncertainty, and that’s the point of communication, never do anything as a surprise, and never say anything without thinking things through, and never speak to anyone of importance, unless your not guilty, and anyone elses attitude toward you in life, is for personal reasons, become unavailable or busy. People expect you to stay in place, and that gives some people control over you, maybe not all other outcomes in life, but if things are not getting better, than to me that means that a change needs to be made in my life, not give up, I honestly don’t think I have time to learn an entire new profession, why I started applying for law jobs again and finished law school. If studying law was something that I was passionate about and loved, and felt a tremendous amount of peace with, then that is where I do best in law school, or focusing on my academics. If not one respects your story, or anone who has read your story without authorization as to the causes for your suicide attempt (2009) then that’s them studying you without your permission, before publishing your book. So something not mentioned was mentioned and a column put in my book with a graph paper, my first self-published book. Don’t blame me for Aurora, don’t blame me for school shootings, don’t blame me for being Jewish, don’t blame me for reporting to the US Supreme Court, don’t blame me for calling the Boulder DA, the Oklahoma DA, and the Texas DA, just recently OK and TX. It has gotten out of hand, there is not such thing as a cover up, I don’t have an attorney to talk to about my issues, or the voices I get, I only have a therapist to talk to, and I became a member of Brady, out of the goodness of my heart, because I wanted to put my good name to good use, and that was my choice. What causes death? When people fall ill due to addiction, and drugs, that hurts everyone, that’s also not the cause for more death or more sickness, even if you think the same way as they do, even if you understand their story, even if you empathize with their families, even if you know more than the general public knows about specific people, their motivations, causes for support, and social associations in life. You cannot blame someone for a dress the wore in Las Vegas (2008) by the Olsen Twins, or the only black heels available at Saks, Christian Louboutin. If its an epidemic, then its not for study for why it occurs or how it occurs, that’s the bottom line, and you don’t blame peoples identities, associations, distant relationships, connections, knowledge of identities, or reputation, as the problem, or the cause for anyone elses manifestation of hate and violence in life, don’t situate someone who is educated, performed well in school, makes friends easily, does not have a hard time finding a date, or dating in general, who lives alone, and studies, and runs everyday, trying to stay fit, its my face and my body, and if I am proud of myself, then that’s why I only took less than 10 pictures the entire time. When someone puts you down in life, that’s to blame you for things they have not said, without telling you, and thinking that that will not affect you, even if held by people you don’t know and opinion of you you cant hear, its an energy, of distrust, and that distrust eventually adds up to action, and those actions are then taken from someone who carries a negative judgement within them, and that energy carries over to people around them, why its important not to get rallied up or intense about people in life, what people think, or even waste time and energy persuading others or even yourself, that what you are feeling is real in a negative way or in turn be made to accuse anyone else of being the provider of that instability and energy that is causing you torment, or not to feel like yourself confident. So that’s an uneven exchange in life, usually resulting from a lack of clarity, and so long as you remain in that condition, it can get worse, the less you are able to say, and the more fear is instilled upon you, to disclose everything that feels like that feeling, to see if you have done anything wrong, if you have ever been scared, if you have ever felt disempowered, if you have ever felt used, if you have ever failed, if you have ever struggled, if you have ever needed help, if you have ever been not believed, or if you have ever been a source of shame or embarrassment to anyone, at whatever level of intelligence you arrived to or didn’t arrive to, and based upon what you have said past not a good enough try at presenting the best version of yourself.
#trust #stopschoolshootings #mentalhealth #heros #influencers #feelings #negativejudgments (Issue): With being too feminine online, not trying too hard in that department. Me at Age 34, not to worry, Im pretty sure they're not attracted to me, like their age group, probably a brother online. #humor was requested and liked by one Instagram post, and if I fail in that department to keep things light, then its me responsible for my condition, my outlook, my sharing, my faith, my discipline, my job, provide more answers and solutions for coping than get stuck oversharing whatever difficulties I may have ever faced: got a job! I understand that presently there is a school #stopsuicide issue, all that I can say based on my experiences, a condition that you cannot change on your own requires meds and therapy to say out loud whats bothering you, what you are having difficulty comprehending, what you are unhappy about, what scares you, what is making you said, what youre paranoid about, what you feel pressure about, what you cant change, what you need help with, who you believe in, whats hurting your comprehension of issues, and get help: call 911, I talk to them about everything scary, thats to make sure that I am not stuck thinking in the wrong about myself or anyone for that matter, make sure that my condition is reported, so that I can be assessed or treated such as going to the ER to talk, and speak to UCLA's hospital who currently represents students and patients with mental health issues, so that they can continue on in life, in private, with treatment, such as I have been treated after staying in the hospital, attending two IOPs for thought disorders, if you dont have the basics down, then its really hard to recognize when its your thinking hurting you, and thats the difficutly with getting help if you are ever being defiant, in addiction, dont listen to others, dont value how far youve come, and all the life you have left to live. Parents will always be in a rush, and the elderly will always be short tempered and give up on you quickly, the moment you become unstable, you may not be able to control if people are nice to you or supportive of you, and unless you have done something wrong, no should should ever be made to feel ashamed, and alone time, lack of socialization, or cares in the world, if people are alive and doing well, then thats the best that the well can do, everyone is feeling sidetracked at this moment in time. My best suggestion would be to attend a youth AA group, to discuss addictions if present, such as social media, eating disorders, negativity, rebellion, conspiracy, attitude, challenges, its the best place to talk you dont have to have alcoholism or addiction, or special stories to officially fit in exactly, self-harm is an issue they are supportive of stopping, and blogging etc. And its a great place to practice speaking and being supportive of others, especially in your age group, be prepared in advance, for how to take care of anyone struggling. (RIP) #stopsuicide, the son who got into "14 schools" to play football. (I was able to finish 3/4 of law school without antipsychotics, its a difficult condition to report, if you are not willing to take meds or be hospitalized and its not a permanent condition, it can be caused by any number of upsets, losses, breakups, and misunderstandings about life, not everyones life is difficult, most people have people to support them, friends and family, I was actually on the verge of being kicked out of my house, and got a job instead, everyone was fed up with me blogging, because I was not earning an income, and everyone got sick, because of photos posted online, by an older gentlemen, who did not respect my story, my recovery, my progress, the fact I graduated from law school, or dont date, not married, no kids, not an attorney, with a 10 year gap in my resume, since the last time I worked continuously for a year. The disappointment, is coming from something that cannot be changed, if you have been hurt, if you have been misidentified, and I think that was the purposes for defaming me, so that no one would feel sorry for me, so that everyone would be hard on me, so that I become a source of pain not inspiration, until I am not present in the solution, so that I dont look grateful, or I look unhappy, or I look spoiled, or I look better off, or I look like life is easy, or that wellness comes from money or education or any system of reporting, I think anything inappropriate shown online, causes harm to me, and ruins relationships and rapport with a new audience, who cannot handle any disappointment at this time, who was hoping everyone would keep improving, I think at 35, if its something I can change about myself then do so, but singing, dancing, or going back to school to get another masters, or working another job from internships.com, will not allow for anyone to think highly of me, or allow the dust to settle, criticism wise, I think the competition for insight is very assertive without explanation, and as result things can either appear in one of two ways, doing the community a service pointing out a person to be disrespected or not valued, or to respect someones privacy, and not making things about their mental health, communicate to the entire world, that everyone sees a person in this way, before anyone has become a public figure known to all, or ever having been known in a way, that discomfort be caused by being told anything different of them or about them in life. The meds I just learned cause face dysmorphia, so I may need to stop one med, in place of two others meds, and switched to adderrall, because on vyvanse I was too lacksidasical, in bed all day for the majority of 8 years unless working in a job, or shopping trying to get going again, thats what the meds do if prescribed, they dont allow you to feel good feel up, and moving is difficult to begin with, you learn how to run, without feeling up for it, and it causes you to lose your bounce in your run, you end up running closer to the ground, because the meds cause dizziness, thats if your energy gets deemed to be combative, if people know what meds youre on, then they dont care what light or switch flips, or whether you will return to being the person you were at ease, before aggravated, to someone who does not like you does not trust you, it becomes entertainment for them to see you self-harm, or become unstable, so even if its a concern, unless you are fighting with anyone about anything specific brought before a court, the thats people being street with you, who dont follow rules, who are not proper, who dont speak professionally, who easily ignore, or part ways with anyone who knows their important but no one else seeks to validate them as being important in life, because they treat people who seem confident, as small, and its not until you start processing what does not make sense, then your head hurts, and sometimes thats why people say things that you dont understand, to see if you physically can tell if you've been insulted, and thats how you get tested in life, whether you have a big head, can you be manipulated, are you present, doing well, and thats what makes it hard to date or to excel in sports or academics, so its important not to tell anyone what meds youre on, if you have ever been hospitalized, if you ever drank or tried drugs, or who you have ever hooked up with, all of which will be used to judge you, on the basis of whether you are possessive, temperamental, competitive, flirtatious, too social, inviting, not in a good place, or not professional. I think if you later become known, people generally feel good around you, and you stay the same, dont get any feel good feelings from anyone who is quicker, sharper, more energetic, or well spoken than you, is a tell tale sign that your mental health issues have been triggered, and that too much communication is not helping you but hurting you in life, so that was my mistake, to be loving, when I was well, to someone random, who later treated me as though I needed help, or negative publicity, or thought that I thought I was better than others. Im not a socialite, I was popular in high school, and college, and law school. And get bipolar dating, and when you have bipolar symptoms, they dont talk to you, you dont see them, they dont have time or compassion for you, and thats just someone who doesnt understand why you are not well, and is also not responsible for keeping you well, and assumes that its because of something you've done wrong. #understanding #theissue #athletes #schooling #applications #waitingperiods #underassessment #pressure #yourfuture #bipolar |
AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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