Personal Statement Law School (v3)
Personal Statement (2007-2013) (Reviewed 07-02-19) (v3)
Growing Up by Leslie A. Fischman I made the biggest decision of my life, when I chose to reach out, get help, and continue to pursue a legal education. [There are moments in life] when time freezes—when we feel like we are stuck and can’t move forward— and today similarly feels like a nightmare that we can’t awake from. We get stuck in the moment, waiting for it to pass. We wonder that if we did something differently, then things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did and that if only we had the power, we could change the past.
However, we realize our own powerlessness when events happen to us that we have no control over. Throughout the past sixteen years, I have worked very hard to set myself apart. I learned to forgive those who have harmed those closest to us, realizing that there was nothing I could do but be compassionate and supportive. In order to deal with the trauma associated with that event, I redirected my focus, and decided to go to law school. As I continue to rally through adversity, I have found ways to identify the significance of that experience, our friendship over the years, and the events that followed, in a positive way. Making a positive difference required me to diversify the activities I became involved with and to remove myself from the cycle of trauma, and be proactive. I decided to volunteer for a local crisis hotline and after two years I researched, wrote, 2 and defended my Honor’s Thesis entitled “Dealing with Vicarious Trauma and Managing Emotions While Providing Advocacy to Survivors of Sexual Assault.” Volunteering enabled me to develop a deeper understanding of effect that trauma can have on one’s feelings of safety, emotional stability, and ability to adapt. The process of recovery and healing has had a significant impact on the person I am today and has given me unique insight into the field of trauma.
It is not until we experience pain ourselves that can we begin to understand the pain associated with a significantly traumatizing event in one’s history. I know now that what I do in the present is vitally important to where I see myself in the future, so that I can continue making a difference and provide legal advocacy to those in need. After five months of trying to make amends where needed, and clarify any misconceptions regarding my motivations for attending law school, I’ve finally come to a pause. During a period in which I was unable to make good decisions for myself I reached out to those who I thought would be the best examples of maintaining composure in times of extreme controversy. Often times the people who react first, are the one’s most knowledgeable. To my surprise I opened this invitation only after I returned home, almost a month after, separated from my souvenirs, it was laid flat with the newspaper and red bow it came with, assumed it was a general greetings letter sent from the Hotel in which I stayed a week prior, to walk around the city before it got too crowded. I flew to DC because I inherently knew that if there was anyone who could understand what it means to face adversity, it would be you and your family. The kind of pressure I feel I am under at times, can be overwhelming. I have always managed to persevere under circumstances which prior to this semester where outside of my control, and stated at being so in prior personal statements, which were flipped around by parties knowing that I felt this way, and positioned me in harms way, knowing that I have difficulty focusing, running the risk (willingly) to keep me out of structured environment, making me more susceptible to harming myself, so as to alleviate liability or free themselves of blame, and use my statement against me, to argue that she knowingly put herself in harms way and we in no way contributed to her positioning herself in harms way to which she became of harm to herself.
I have always been honest to a T and never in anyway tried to outsmart or undermine my Professors or the Administration in their abilities to do their job, in fact I often visited the administrators office to handle forms and turn in papers in person because I felt comfortable around them and trusted them and never once questioned them or that they were in anyway trying to put me in harms way or ever feel like they turned against me. However, when I started dating my ex boyfriend, the climate around me began to change, and not understanding why, I became very depressed and did not know why my grades dropped, I never found law school difficult, and was at the top of my class when I started and felt that this was a school that I could excel in and stand out, never once did I feel that I was being downgraded or that I was being discriminated upon.
In June 2009 I began law school and my first grade was a B. Given this experience I have become determined to continue making a difference, with or without the support of my peers, as when I relied on others to sustain, I fell apart, but when I rely on myself and the tools I have acquired through school to help myself and help quell the confusion of the issues and assumptions made about how and why I committed suicide, the better able I am to move forward from that experience and become stronger as a result and more resilient to life’s stressors and general rejections.
“It is for these reasons that I believed a Masters in Law in Risk Management and Compliance would be the most appropriate area of law, indirectly applicable to the issues, that run closest to heart and at home,” [which I stated in my application 2013]. When in school I am a diligent student, hardworking, and able to keep up with the course load and material provided to 5 be learned each week. As a Juris Doctorate Student there is only so much you can learn within the narrow confines of a general legal education, which is why I am choosing to apply for a Masters Program in Law that specializes in the kind of detail and expertise needed to succeed in any one area of law, and differentiate myself from the other applicants when applying for jobs in a Law Office Setting.
The Crisis Hotline
There is only so much one can do as a hotline counselor and victim advocate. Which caused me to question who helps those who take on the primary responsibility of helping others. Many assume that if someone is able to help another, they can take care of themselves. However many of the Counselors I spoke to were convinced that helping others had a positive impact on their ability to help themselves. [However], one who is ill-prepared is unable to make an accurate assessment of their capacity to fulfill a role better suited by those with the educational background and degree of expertise needed to assist individuals in crisis.
As a hotline counselor you are continually exposing yourself to the experience and the effects of trauma. Who's helping the helper deal with dozens of traumatizing experiences that individuals face as victims. The magnitude of this problem and the consequences it has had on an individual’s personal and emotional development has yet to be addressed.
In light of my own experiences, I can only suggest that one reason why I faced a significantly more trauma was due to two factors: one my personal history, how I coped with my problem, and how my problem was further exacerbated by the vicarious trauma I experienced as a hotline counselor. For these reasons I [tried to] maintain the anonyminity of this organization, by not listing its name on my resume.
The Importance of Education to my Personal Growth
I wanted to do more than be there as someone to talk to. I always felt as though I could do more, and this where my interest in law began. I know how to talk to people in crisis and the skills I have attained through working with victims has made me more sensitive to their needs and more prepared to respond to those in crisis situations. I find it immensely satisfying to help guide those in need, through their most trying and traumatic life experiences, giving them the support and access to resources they need in order to begin to cope. Working on the hotline, I have seen the difference that one person can make. As a lawyer especially, one has the rare ability and privilege to make a difference in a person’s life, changing the way victims of sexual assault see the law and encouraging them to come forward. As a lawyer I will acquire the tools necessary to make a difference and influence the live of others for the better.
It takes one person to believe someone who is otherwise ignored and dismissed by rest of society to make a difference, by increasing awareness and understanding to those who can help those at a disadvantage move on to more productive lives. [T]he end of my senior year, marked the most significant growth in my academic career and personal life.
It was at that point in my academic career when I recognized the importance of helping myself before assisting others. I learned that in order to help influence change in the lives of others, I would have to develop the capacity to overcome personal setbacks preventing me from reaching my potential and capacity to help others. Writing and defending an honors thesis, gave me the structure I needed to move forward and better understand my own experiences as well as the experiences of those I interacted with over the hotline for three years.
Not only did I address the problems and dilemmas students such as myself faced, while dealing and coping with trauma and vicarious symptoms of it, I found solutions to coping necessary to move forward. I learning how to help myself adapt to the personal changes I was undergoing, I became increasingly aware and motivated to help those similarly disadvantaged by the debilitating effects that experiencing trauma can have on ones personal, emotional, professional, and intellectual capacity needed to succeed academically.
Awareness is key to understanding. But I also want to do something to help make change happen in the lives of those I have interacted with. I feel that I can be a great asset to the current legal system, but I have a unique understanding of the experience of trauma, both first and second hand, that can only be learned through the experiences I have endured in my life time. I want to do more than merely be aware of the problems that exist in society, but I want to learn about what I can do for myself through education and work experience to put myself in a better position suited to helping those whose lives I want to change for the better.
Going to law school [has] enable[d] me to extend my role within the helping professions, so that I [could] provide legal advocacy to those in need, especially to those experiencing the pains and trauma of being victims of crime. [As] a Sociology major, I [became] more and more interested in exploring my writing capabilities, and challeng[ed] myself academically, making the most of my education both as a[n] [under]graduate of CU and as a student in the ABA Approved Paralegal Certificate Program at West Los Angeles College. [Where I] [became] inspired to learn more about law and exploring the ways in which I can best prepare myself for the discipline and demands that a legal education requires.
As a Sociology major and honors Student I was more than just aware of the problems individuals and groups in society faced, but I became equally fascinated by what I could do to get involved and do something to make change happen and influence the lives of others for the better. A successful education requires more than memorization and ability to apply theories and general concepts to specific circumstances. In order for me to fully understand the fundamental underpinnings of social problems, was to immerse myself in the problem itself. Placing oneself in an environment other than that provided by an academic setting, is a true test of one’s capacity to apply what we have learned in the classroom to a real-world setting.
Rather than be a bystander and base my judgments and understanding on the basis of the experiences and studies others have written, my intellectual capacity can be measured by my ability to adapt to pressures that require us to perform in unfamiliar territory, with little preparation, and depend on our instincts to guide us. I wanted to examine the problems for myself and address issues that may have been overlooked by those who are different from myself.
I may be young, but the uniqueness of my experience is what both differentiates myself from the other applicants and at the same time challenges me to not allow those differences to disassociate me from my peers but rather find ways to integrate those skills I have learned in a positive way. Rather than get frustrated, I have found education to be the one positive means for me to express myself and share my ideas, beliefs and opinions to those who have not experienced what I have.
Being able to communicate myself has been the sole means for me to grow past the pain of trauma and develop a deeper understanding of how those experiences can be utilized in a positive way and not inhibit my ability to adapt to my surroundings and embrace those around me and the value that sharing one’s knowledge and expertise with those less experienced has a more significant impact than allowing those differences to maintain silence. I am aware of the impact that sharing our differences has on those around us.
We are either embraced by those who understand and are similar to ourselves, or we are rejected. I have always been fascinated and drawn to those who are different from myself. It is those people who have taught me the most about myself. It is in the sharing of our differences and interacting among those in unfamiliar territory that we learn the most about ourselves and our intellectual capacity.
I thrive in any environment that challenges me to step out of my comfort zone. By embracing my weaknesses I have not only become more understanding of myself but have been able to extend that understanding and patience to those around me. I find comfort in the unknown and strength in my ability to overcome setbacks and insecurities that prevent me from reaching certain goals in my academic and work experiences.
What I do today, and the choices I make for myself, have a significant influence on the person I want to be one day. The skills I have learned as a volunteer on a Rape Crisis hotline counselor is one example of an experience which has significantly influenced the way I see the world today. While interning as a Paralegal at the City Attorney’s Office I have learned the importance of building and maintaining professional relationships with the people I work with, which has been strengthened by my ability and capacity to communicate well with people under stressful and crisis situations. [As I] extend[ed] my role as a legal advocate I have beg[an] volunteering for Public Counsel’s “Community Development Project,” applying the skills I have learned as an intern paralegal and taking on the roles and responsibilities as the primary paralegal assisting two attorney’s in change of the project.
Taking a Course that Required me to Study those who Deviate from the Law Rather than Follow the Norm or the Law
With each an every new experience, I am learning how to not only better myself, but how to be more effective in working with others and helping others. The experiences I find most rewarding in life are the ones in which I can help make a difference in another’s life. I feel that by working on the hotline and by being involved in student groups, I have gained confidence in ability to take on more leadership positions and the confidence needed to pursue future career plans such as becoming a lawyer.
Academic History
What I do today, and the choices I make for myself, have a significant influence on the person I want to be one day. The skills I have learned as a volunteer on a Crisis Hotline is one example of an experience which has significantly influenced the way I see the world today, teaching me the importance of building and maintaining professional relationships with the people I work with, while at the same time strengthening my ability to communicate well with people under stressful and crisis situations.
In November 2005 I received the Helping Hands Award, which reinforced and acknowledged the hard work and dedication I have showed to the organization. In that month I worked four twelve hour shifts, and had four hotcalls (assaults occurring within the past 24hrs), two of which I was called into the emergency room in the middle of the night to provide advocacy for a survivor undergoing a rape kit examination.
The end of my senior year marked the most significant growth in my academic career and personal life. It was at that point in my academic career when I recognized the importance of helping myself before assisting others. I learned that in order to help influence change in the lives of others, I would have to develop the capacity to overcome personal setbacks preventing me from reaching my potential and capacity to help others.
Writing and defending an honors thesis, gave me the structure I needed to move forward and better understand my own experiences as well as the experiences of those I interacted with over the hotline for three years. Dealing with vicarious symptoms of trauma required me to develop a treatment plan suited to my individual needs. I had no one to talk to and later found out, this was because so little was known.
I found my own solution to coping, was by educating myself and [taking the] necessary [action] to help me move forward. Awareness is key to understanding. But I also want to do something to help make change happen in the lives of those I have interacted with. I feel that I can be a great asset to the current legal system, but I have a unique understanding of the experience of trauma, both first and second hand, that can only be learned through the experiences I have endured in my life time. I want to do more than merely be aware of the problems that exist in society, but I want to learn about what I can do for myself through education and work experience to put myself in a better position suited to helping those whose lives I want to change for the better.
Going to law school enable[ed] me to extend my role within the helping professions, so that I [could] provide legal advocacy to those in need, especially to those experiencing the pains and trauma of being victims of crime. Furthermore, in order to extend my role as a legal advocate I [began] volunteering for Public Counsel’s “Community Development Project,” applying the skills I learned as an intern paralegal [by] taking on the roles and responsibilities as the primary paralegal assisting two attorney’s in change of the project.
A successful education requires more than memorization and ability to apply theories and general concepts to specific circumstances. In order for me to fully understand the fundamental underpinnings of social problems, was to immerse myself in the problem itself, testing my capacity to apply what I have learned in the classroom to a real-world setting. I was more than aware of the problems that individuals in society faced, but fascinated by what I could do to get involved and do something to make change happen and influence the lives of others for the better.
As I have become more involved in my extracurricular activities, I began to see a change in my academic interests and became more focused on exploring other areas of study, besides my primary major coursework. In the fall of 2004, during my Sophomore year I took a course called “Deviance in U.S. Society.” It was the first class to expose me to issues regarding crime and delinquency, and why people commit crimes. Education has been the one positive means for me to express myself and share my ideas, beliefs and opinions within a setting shared by similar individuals informed and committed to academic achievements. Taking a course that required me to study those who deviate from the law rather than follow the norm or the law.
Being able to communicate myself has been the sole means for me to grow past the pain of trauma and develop a deeper understanding of how those experiences can be utilized in a positive way and not inhibit my personal and academic growth. I am aware of the impact that sharing our differences has on those around us. I have always been drawn to those who are different from myself. It is those people who have taught me the most about myself. It is in the sharing of our differences and interacting among those in unfamiliar territory that we learn the most about ourselves[,] and our intellectual capacity.
I thrive in any environment that challenges me to step out of my comfort zone. By embracing my weaknesses I have not only become more understanding of myself but have been better able to adapt to my current environment as I have become aware of the level of patience required to effectively communicate and address the needs of those around me. I find comfort in the unknown and strength in my ability to overcome setbacks that have prevented me in the past from reaching certain goals in my academic and work experiences. 9 What I do today, and the choices I make for myself, have a significant influence on the person I want to be one day. The skills I have learned as a volunteer on a Crisis Hotline is one example of an experience which ha[d] significantly influenced the way [in which] I s[aw] the [W]orld.
As a volunteer I have learned the importance of building and maintaining professional relationships with the people I work with, which has strengthened by my ability and capacity to communicate well with people under stressful and crisis situations.
With each an every new experience, I am learning how to not only better myself, but how to be more effective in working with others and helping others. The experiences I find most rewarding in life are the ones in which I can help make a difference in another’s life. I have gained confidence in my ability to take on the challenges that law school present because I see the positive value that my education has had on my personal development. As a graduate of CU and as a student in the ABA Approved Paralegal Certificate Program at West Los Angeles College, in combination with my volunteer and work experiences are what have inspired me to learn more about law and explore the ways in which I can best prepare myself for the discipline and demands that a legal education requires.
A successful education requires more than memorization and ability to apply theories and general concepts to specific circumstances. In order for me to fully understand the fundamental underpinnings of social problems, was to immerse myself in the problem itself, testing my capacity to apply what I have learned in the classroom to a real-world setting. I was more than aware of the problems that individuals in society faced, but fascinated by what I could do to get involved and do something to make change happen and influence the lives of others for the better. As I have become more involved in my extracurricular activities, I began to see a change in my academic interests and became more focused on exploring other areas of study, besides my primary major coursework. In the fall of 2004, during my Sophomore year I took a course called “Deviance in U.S. Society.” It was the first class to expose me to issues regarding crime and delinquency, and why people commit crimes. Unlike any other course I had taken so far, this was the first professor to include undergraduate students as part of teaching staff. I found the class so interesting I applied for a teaching position the following semester as was 1 of 10 selected from the top students in the class who applied, and were asked to be interviewed. Part of my job was to teach the material to the students the following semester with a T.A. during sections, two of which I taught, and to write examination questions, develop an answer key to the essay questions, and grade exams too.
In the Fall of 2005, I decided to switch majors from Psychology to Sociology, and quickly became a member of CU’s AKD (Alpha Kappa Delta) International Sociology Honors Society, in November 2005, and served as the chapters president the following semester. As president, I was given the responsibility to organize the agenda and scheduling of meetings. My primary responsibility was soliciting other upper division Sociology majors, who met the requirements, to join. In order to help gather new members to the growing organization, I helped to develop a website for our chapter, to allow information about our group and the benefits of joining to be easily accessed online, by those interested.
Since becoming a Sociology major, I have become more and more interested in exploring my writing capabilities, and challenging myself academically, making the most of my education here as an undergrad at CU. After taking a field research methods course this past semester (doing field research on Hotline Counselors [such as myself], [from] the organization I volunteer[ed] for), I was inspired to learn more about the topics I wished to address, and to further my knowledge on the sociological theories and aspects related to my field of study.
I saw this [Research Course] as an opportunity to further my [S]ociology thought and knowledge about a specific group of people, and expand upon the work I had already begun, as an independent study during my senior year, working on a thesis. I was given a strong recommendation by my professor of my field research methods class to speak to the professor in charge of the sociology department’s honors program, once I applied I was immediately accepted into the program and offered a chance to prove my writing ability and capacity to develop and defend a senior [H]onor’s [T]hesis.
Academic and Volunteer Experiences
After a less than satisfactory senior year, I was determined to make a come back. In order to bolster my GPA I made a conscious decision to refocus my energies back to my academic endeavors and became motivated to graduate with honors despite the significant drop in my overall GPA Senior year. I had finished my Junior year on the Dean’s List and thought that I was invincible. My priorities changed and found that helping others no longer had a positive impact on my personal development. When I stopped focusing on myself and put the needs of others before my own, I quickly sank into a deep hole.
What started out as a minor problem became spiraling into a debilitating disease. After the fall of my Senior year, I knew I had to take action. With the experience of helping others I was critically aware of the importance of building the necessary support networks around me to help fight through this problem. Rather than avoid my problems I began facing them head on and did everything I could to better myself. I found strength in support groups and sought individualized treatment. I confronted my family and allowed myself to overcome the shame and embarrassment that comes with admitting to ourselves, and others our failures and weaknesses.
As, I rallied through the most significant turning point in my academic and personal development. [While] this story is significant, is not to highlight my biggest setback, but its help me move forward in my academic career. My senior year is not an accurate measure of my potential to fail as a law student, rather an indication of my awareness of my deficiencies, my ability to overcome those weaknesses, face my problems and deal with them. Excessive awareness of my weaknesses overpowered my capacity to stay positive and focused on my goals. Moving forward required me to focus on my strengths as an individual and realize my potential to overcome any barriers. I became less concerned with what my friends and family thought and more focused on what I could do to prove to myself that I could get through this problem. I knew that my biggest weakness was my desire to help others and failure to negatively judge those different from myself and viewed negatively based on societal assumptions about certain types of people. I circumvented this problem by disassociating myself from those who took advantage of my giving nature, loyalty, and kindness.
In order to move forward I had to let go of those who were unable to help themselves. I took action, making myself and future my number one priority. My experiences have shown me the importance of education, discipline, and structure. Going to Law [S]chool will give me the education, discipline, and structure needed in order to strengthen my ability to help others, so that I can make a difference.
I was able to help myself, not by what I was told to do, but by doing what I instinctively felt was the right the thing to do. I spent my Spring semester Senior year recovering, reading every book possible, even accessing journal articles through CU Boulder’s Library databases, researching support groups and networks in the area, in addition to attending classes and completing my requirement to graduate with the Spring 2007 class. I barely 11 kept up with my studies, even though I met every deadline that semester, my grades suffered as result of minimal class attendance.
I had done everything required of me to graduate in the Spring 2007 but chose not to. The pressure to recover and bounce back became more burdensome than expected. I would graduate but without honors. I made a critical decision to rescind my application for graduation in the Spring and took the risk of pursuing an Honor’s Thesis and graduating with honors despite my 3.2 cum avg. at that time. I was not the average candidate and did not even meet the GPA requirement for general honors, but my successes as a Sociology major is what enabled me to achieve Departmental Honors in Sociology.
That summer I became motivated and determined to prove myself and my intellectual capacity to research and compose a graduate level thesis, entitled, “Dealing with Vicarious Trauma and Managing Emotions While Providing Advocacy to Survivors of Sexual Assault.” This was no easy task. As a qualitative research study, I needed approval from the University’s Human Research Committee (HRC) to conduct my research. I submitted a proposal to the HRC describing my project, the population I would be studying and the participants who would be interviewed for this study. In addition, I also had to prepare a Confidentiality Agreement Form, which needed to be approved by the HRC and handed to each participant I would interview. The Confidentiality Agreement Form I prepared gave a general description of my research project, their rights as a participant, their right to refuse or discontinue the interview proceedings at any time, and needed their signed approval to interview them. In order to maintain the anonyminity of the participants of my study, I coded all my data and issued them numbers to prevent any records of their identity from being associated to my notes and recorded statements obtained from those interviews. Pursuing an Honors Thesis taught me the importance of maintaining a balance between ones personal and working relationships. Maintaining the anonyminity of the organization in which I studied was critical to the Committees approval of my study. As a longtime Volunteer and Hotline Counselor it was important for me to maintain that balance, although composing a study and critically analyzing the structure of that organization had its risks. A shift occurred when I was no longer helping them, but beginning to help myself and better understand my experience as a volunteer and the impact that my involvement within that organization had on my personal, emotional, and mental health.
As a volunteer I only saw the positive benefits that the experience of helping others could have on my own personal development. However as a researcher I was able to look back, reflect, and analyze the experiences shared by the other volunteers I worked with, to better understand how this organization impacted these individuals lives, either for better or for worse. I became intrigued by the concept of vicarious trauma and curious as to why so little research and books have been written about vicarious trauma experienced by those in helping professions, such as counselors and therapists. I wanted to know who suffered from it and why.
My research gave me answers to the questions I had. While researching and writing my Honor’s Thesis, I developed a deeper understanding of the problems and circumstances individuals face and how lack of foresight that comes with education needed to prepare those in specialized helping professions. Many of the counselors I spoke to, [stated] that “helping others ... [helped them to] mak[e] a [positive] difference[,]” [which] is why they volunteered and outweighed the negative side-effects and detrimental impacts of working with individuals in crisis. Through my own experiences I have learned that trauma and the events that cause us to feel traumatized do not necessarily happen subsequent to one in another, or in that order.
Sometimes there are gaps in time between the actual experience and the point in which we begin to feel the effect it has had on us. Thus experiencing first hand traumatized victims of violence and sexual assault and its effects may be less than noticeable from the start. Even less noticeable if we are being convinced that these feelings are “part of our job and that, “we all feel like that sometimes.” We were told to “take time out for ourselves” when we felt overwhelmed.
I did more than take time out for myself. I wrote an Honor’s Thesis and helped myself when no one else knew how, when no one else could explain to me what I was going through, I had to figure it out on my own. 12 I allowed myself to heal through my experiences and personal pitfalls by staying committed to my academic achievements. Researching and writing enabled me to put my feelings, opinions, and beliefs aside, by taking a more objective approach to dealing with my problems. Understanding the causes and the mitigating factors that contribute to the circumstances I found myself in, helped me to overcome this roadblock.
The purpose of my thesis was not to excuse the actions I took subsequent to my commitment as a volunteer or justify my actions by drawing an association between two problems, one experienced by those in helping professions and another problem faced by individuals in society in general. Rather the purpose of my research was not to help others initially, but it was about others and the impact that helping others has had on my self-worth, identity, personal, emotional, and academic development. Studying the effects of vicarious trauma and impact it has on individuals in helping professions provided me with the foundation from which to build my research.
The interviews I conducted were unique in that I could empathize with those I spoke to, because I shared similar feelings as a hotline counselor. By analyzing the experiences of those I interviewed as well as my own, I attempted to provide an explanation, based on my own critical assessment and analysis of what resources were made available to me as a undergraduate student. My research was supported by the facts of what happened, the events leading up to that point in time, and the surrounding environmental contributors to that problem.
My research was further supported by concurring accounts given by other counselors in addition to expert and licensed clinical therapists I interviewed to broaden my understanding and give me additional insight into their thoughts regarding the assistance they provide and standards they have placed in the care they provide in comparison to other organizations such as the one I studied, which may have placed their less experienced volunteers in less than favorable circumstances potentially causing members of their organization irreversible harm, mental, and emotional damage.
These are the experiences which have motivated me to pursue a career in law. I am more than aware of the hardships individuals face in society and have specialized knowledge of the impacts that violence and sexual assault can have on its victims. Especially the impact that experiencing trauma can have on children, and that age matters in terms of one’s ability to cope with trauma and seek help. I know that for many individuals in society their options are limited in terms of the available help and resources needed to help address their individual needs.
I know that not every student is as privileged as I, to have the support of family and financial resources to gain access to certain resources, which is why I want to go to law school, to make a difference in lives of those who are either unable or without the necessary support it takes to succeed in law school. Based on my own personal history, I know I am capable and I know that once given the opportunity I will do whatever it takes for me to be a successful law student and share with you an explanation of my prior experiences to evidence my ability to overcome and stay committed to my academic, personal, and career development.
As I continue to rally through adversity, I have found ways to identify the significance of that experience, our friendship over the years, and the events that followed, in a positive way. Making a positive difference required me to help myself before assisting others. Diversifying the activities I chose and groups I associated with enabled me to remove myself from the cycle of trauma. Realizing my self-worth meant taking chances, taking risks, and believing in myself. I want to do more than merely be aware of the problems that exist in society; I want to learn about what I can do for myself through education and work experience to put myself in a better position suited to helping those whose lives I want to change for the better.
Going to law school will enable me to extend my role within the service professions, and allow me to increase awareness and understanding among individuals who can help those at a disadvantage move on to more productive lives. 13 At this point I have made the greatest academic, personal, and work-related leap of my life. In order for me to continue the momentum carried by this transition, I have to dig deeper to achieve the professional growth that can only be accomplished by [continuing my] legal education.
Re: Learning Disability
Throughout my Academic Career I have found grave difficulty achieving the kind of success I have always strived for as a student. For every Academic Institution in which I have thrived, there has always been one common denominator that keeps me motivated and inspirited, and that is my ability to relate and adapt to the environment in which I am taught. It was at University of Colorado at Boulder, where I began to excel academically and realize my full potential in research and writing, as a Sociology Honors Student. A very important skill I carried with me and applied to my studies as a Law Student in my Advanced Legal Writing Course, in which I was awarded a Witkin Award in Advanced Legal Writing for Academic Excellence.
I have always strived to first make a difference in my own life, before I am able to help make a difference in the life of another. Throughout my Academic Career I have managed to maintain a delicate balance between the time dedicated to my studies in school as well as making time to volunteer and gain real world experience working in a law office setting in the Public Service Sector.
I learned a very important lesson as a Juris Doctorate Student at the University of West Los Angeles School of Law, to always put myself first not the needs of others. For those reasons, I in turn mismanaged my time resulting in poor grades trying to work part time and go to school full time. Now three years later, I continue to make progress by focusing not on what has past but rather what I can do at the present moment to help build a better future for myself. This past semester has been a great learning experience in how no matter how trying or trivial the circumstances may be, focusing on the positive has kept me moving forward.
When I got my DUI this Spring 2013, was the first time I have ever been arrested in my entire life, because I gave up on myself and my dreams of becoming an Attorney one day, and one of my greatest regrets in my entire Academic Career. The most important character trait that defines me, and which I protect at all costs, is my Academic Integrity, which can only be remedied by going back to school and starting anew. Throughout my Academic Studies as a Law Student and Undergraduate Student I have accumulated over 2,000 hours volunteering, interning, and externing at various Public Service Agencies, Law Firm, and Non Profit Organizations providing valuable services to individuals in need such as victims of crime, and provided volunteer paralegal services to Government officials and victims of car accidents at the The Los Angeles City Attorney’s Office, for one year prior to attending law school.
Working as a Paralegal at the City Attorney’s Office [gave] me direction and focus, enabling me to make a difference, and move forward by extending my role within the legal field, in a positive way. In addition, volunteering for Public Counsel, and working with the Homeless and disadvantaged has further inspired me to do everything I can to stay positive and recognize the privileges I have been afforded in my life and how I can help others in the future. In the past, I have overextended myself as a victim advocate.
When I was 19, I volunteered for a crisis hotline in order to better understand my mother’s childhood experiences and reasons for maintaining her silence. In order to better understand my own experiences, I decided to study the effects of sexual assault and vicarious trauma. I quickly identified the symptoms, which may otherwise be ignored or dismissed by outsiders. Writing helped me to understand the importance of building support networks, and in order to circumvent the side- effects of vicarious trauma meant that I had to interview various professionals, who gave me additional insight aside from the responses shared by those within the organization.
While researching and writing my honors thesis, I began finding answers and potential solutions to the vicarious symptoms experienced by those in helping and advocacy professions. Writing helped prepare me for the difficulties I would encounter trying to understand the uniqueness of my childhood experiences and the positive effect that education and structure has had on my personal development. In order to fully understand the fundamental underpinnings of the problems faced by those responsible for defending others, I decided to immerse myself within the legal profession as an Intern Paralegal at the Los Angeles City Attorney's Office.
While volunteering at the City Attorney's Office, I learned how to research, write and respond to discovery requests, and defend the City and its employees in personal injury lawsuits. Working at the City Attorney’s Office has given me direction and focus, teaching me how to channel my thirst for knowledge, enabling me to make a difference, and move forward, extending my role within the legal field one case at a time.
“What is at Issue”
Whats at issue. Is how schools by some professors grading tables, grew me insecure about my sense of logic and made me question myself, that’s whats at issue, and causes me now grave concern for how many other students are always treated akind to this kind of unrecognized adversity simply because they do not conform to the social ideals or representations of themselves or mold to which these professors what to regulate the conflict and confines of their ability to reason and draw deductions. To set up barriers to ones esteem or logic or ability to achieve is a great travesty (trevorsty) to ones upward mobility. Someone such as myself with a unique background and history, and high degree of conformity to socially appropriate standards of communication without subliminally messaging or conspiring. To be thrust in such a limelight to repond to such salacious rumors and gossip, such as the descriptive words used in one of my personal statements in 2009. Is absolutely a violation of my privacy, for people to think they can just barge into my computer read my material and then produce their own, trying to utlilize the educational tools and deductions from which I have ascribed to a set of ethical principles to the highest degree and in conformity with laws governing the standards to which those tools and educational resources may and may not be utilized. To be set up for failure is wrong in itself. What is even more gravely disturbing is how one experience such as hospitalization got twisted so far in the wrong direction.
In 2008 I began my studies as a Paralegal student at an American Bar Association Paralegal Certificate Program. After taking a course on Introductory Civil Litigation, I had a meeting with a Professor after school hours to discuss “how to seal a deposition.” Upon background checking myself via Google, I found that my name had been cached to a Deposition from 1994, the year that a woman who was like a Mother to me, was stabbed to death in front of her home the night of my last Dance Recital at Paul Revere Middle School. I was told to write a note of compassion, which I expressed in a brief statement on a memorial page on Facebook, “please respect the privacy of her children and do not write anything that would be considered offensive [to the memory of their mother, Nicole Brown Simpson].”
As a paralegal student I felt helpless. After writing my personal statements, then reading a deposition led by Mr. Petrocelli of my parents, I became 15 suspicious of the intent for which those questions were asked, in regards to the whereabouts of his children, to which I was a named party to the response to the open ended question. Reading further in my mother’s deposition, I found a piece regarding the length of my friendship to Sydney, considering now I am going to law school and her father going to jail, I felt at odds, that this would look to be something related, to which it was never meant to be related. Needing to gain a better understanding of why these question prompts were asked, I found a very strongly suggested piece of evidence to which he was adamantly trying to get responses for, regarding my mother’s book, and requesting for a copy of the book.
Reading this, and recalling my mother’s book being reviewed by friends while at her home, I read the book briefly up until a point where I could see that the information contained in the book could be seriously misleading, given it was edited by someone with no forethought, just trying to paint a picture without consideration for the potential consequences or implications that could potentially arise from the order in which the characters of the book were introduced. Seeing that I was the first individual described in detail, I immediately became concerned. As I thought this was a book about my mother’s life, entitled “The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth.” I began seeking a response, just a simple response, why did you write those things in your book about me, portraying me as someone who is mentally disabled [I only got zeros on my ERBs in Kindergarten, I never realized how difficult it was to help me do well in school or teach me how to study, but now I do not interpret that description in the negative, but it is nice to know that was a difficulty my Mother faced at the time, which she shared with her best-friend Nicole, asking for advice, which Nicole replied by saying something to the extent to be patient with me, needs to be read to, she will be fine –I don’t remember exactly what was said in my Mother’s book] -or in need of special assistance or severely learning disabled. I do not recall needing that much attention or assistance growing up, I was active in sports and gymnastics, had friends, and generally liked school and an enthusiastic student. [Now I see: That was just Petrocelli making me paranoid again about people casting a negative judgment towards me or my family].
When circumstances arise, that which no explanation is required, and response by one is sufficient to help put the remaining pieces together, than no person on this planet is at privy to re-situate me under even dire circumstances to try to prove my character is otherwise is futile to the central purpose for sharing peacefully. That is their motive. Bullies, attack generally when one’s guard is down, and there is an incentive from the start. When I met this man, he was down and out, with a slurring slow tone, "I'm in technology" at that time I was not able to help anyone, because I am sick and trying to get my strength back, my brain works, my head hurts, my body gets tired easily, I lose energy quickly, I’m driven, and I generally get along with everyone unless they are triggering me in a way that a response in direct reaction could have a dramatic effect on my ability to move forward given the circumstances, I have tried my best to stay focused and calm and carry on without drama or fighting with any one person in particular, that was the main idea.
The first time I encountered this issue was February 2009 I was hospitalized and diagnosed as gravely disabled for the first time, prior to attending Law School. I know that drinking can interfere with my focus and mode stability, which is why I refrained from drinking while in Law School. I am now under the care of a new psychiatrist Dr Gandin, and given a shot of Risperidone every two weeks, for mood stability and have resumed taking my Learning Disability medication after being taken off Adderrall Summer 2011 (for 3 years), and put in treatment for two months for Depression and Suicidal thoughts after my boyfriend at the time broke up with me during finals. I have continued to rally through these personal struggles, and do my best, and try to communicate as clearly as possible my goals in life. To finish Law School, either at UWLA (where I have spent the past 5 years) or finish only with an LLM at Thomas Jefferson School of Law if I can meet the demands of the challenging course load, reading comprehension wise. I want to stay in school, because school is where I thrive best and feel the most at peace with myself, productive, apart of society, not isolated, and positive social interaction with individuals who share a similar interest in achieving great things in life and helping others.
I hope that this letter better explains, the embarrassment I am going through right now, and sincere apologies for my inability to explain in a concise manner why my grades were dropping and why it was so difficult for me to explain why. I have mental health issues, I get sick from time to time lethargic, I sleep a lot , or experience mania and feel alone ruminating being too hard on myself. I just want to finish law school, as best I can.
Throughout my Academic Career I have found grave difficulty achieving the kind of success I have always strived for as a student. For every Academic Institution in which I have thrived, there has always been one common denominator that keeps me motivated and inspirited, and that is my ability to relate and adapt to the environment in which I am taught. It was at University of Colorado at Boulder, where I began to excel academically and realize my full potential in research and writing, as a Sociology Honors Student. A very important skill I carried with me and applied to my studies as a Law Student in my Advanced Legal Writing Course, in which I was awarded a Witkin Award in Advanced Legal Writing for Academic Excellence. I have always strived to first make a difference in my own life, before I am able to help make a difference in the life of another.
Throughout my Academic Career I have managed to maintain a delicate balance between the time dedicated to my studies in school as well as making time to volunteer and gain real world experience working in a law office setting in the Public Service Sector. I learned a very important lesson as a Juris Doctorate Student at the University of West Los Angeles School of Law, to always put myself first not the needs of others. For those reasons, I in turn mismanaged my time resulting in poor grades trying to work part time and go to school full time. Now three years later, I continue to make progress by focusing not on what has past but rather what I can do at the present moment to help build a better future for myself.
[2013 was] a great learning experience in how no matter how trying or trivial the circumstances may be, focusing on the positive has kept me moving forward. 17 When I got pulled over this Spring 2013, was the first time I have ever been arrested in my entire life, because I gave up on myself and my dreams of becoming an Attorney one day, and one of my greatest regrets in my entire Academic Career. The most important character trait that defines me, and which I protect at all costs, is my Academic Integrity, which can only be remedied by going back to school and starting anew. Throughout my Academic Studies as a Law Student and Undergraduate Student I have accumulated over 2,000 hours volunteering, interning, and externing at various Public Service Agencies, Law Firm, and Non Profit Organizations providing valuable services to individuals in need such as victims of crime, and provided volunteer paralegal services to Government officials and victims of car accidents at the The Los Angeles City Attorney’s Office, for one year prior to attending law school.
I know now that the decisions I make at the present moment have a substantial impact on my ability to grow both emotionally and professionally. I have spent my entire Academic Career building a foundation of Integrity that provides me with the kind of self reliance necessary to become a professional, without dependency on anyone or anything to maintain composure under pressure. Without strict adherence to the laws required as a Driver on the road, to not have alcohol in their system, is a devastating end to my studies as a Law Student at UWLA School of Law. This past semester I have been arrested twice, aggravated and helpless and compliant but to no avail no one will write a letter on my behalf to return to law school, and its eating me away inside I feel completely worthless. By the second time I got pulled over and arrested, I was arrested for and in full compliance skipped the sobriety test and took the breathalyzer exam, after which was given the option of being transferred to a psych ward in Long Beach or Jail, and not wanting to run the risk of being put on an extended 14-day hold at the psych ward, I opted to spend the night in jail instead. I am trying my very best to build me Academic Integrity back to where it was when I started law school and that no distraction is an excuse nor any disturbances adequate justification for non compliance with the rules of the road, to not drink and drive. I learned a very important lesson this semester.
All my life I have wanted to make a difference and help others, through the education and experiences I have had working in the public service industry. When that ability was taken away from me, when academically dismissed from law school, I came to a crossroads. I had to make a decision whether to give up on all my legal education thus far and pursue a career in another industry or go back to law school. I chose to go back to law school, and have enrolled in a Masters Program at Thomas Jefferson School of Law. As a Law Student at West Los Angeles School of Law, I have had the privilege of attending classes that both challenged me and pushed me beyond my limits, and what I though myself capable of accomplishing. Spring 2011 I peaked academically in Law School, in my Advanced Legal Research and Writing Course. I scored high marks on all assignments, and received the highest grade in my class, an “A,” and received the Witkin Award for Academic Excellence. The study of law requires tremendous discipline and focus, and challenge that I have gradually been preparing myself for throughout this academic year a student online at Thomas Jefferson School of Law. With each new step I take, a new door opens, and applying for a Masters at Thomas Jefferson School of Law, has been a positive step towards my future, both academically and professionally. After applying and being admitted to Thomas Jefferson School of Law I was able to apply and obtain a position as a paid law clerk, a job that I would have otherwise not been offered had I not had this added credential to my LinkedIN resume.
Finishing [Law School] has always been my main objective since beginning my legal education. I hope that this statement is well received, given my history of prior hospitalizations and medical leaves while a student at University of West Los Angeles School of Law. Despite my learning disability and personal setbacks, I have continued to adjust to the rigorous academic standards required by law students. Given my current standing, I hope[d] that careful consideration [would be] made in regards to my present progress, when deciding whether to accept my application for transfer [to an LLM Program].
The end of my senior year marked the most significant growth in my academic career and personal life. At that point I finally recognized the importance of helping myself before assisting others. I learned that in order to help influence change in the lives of others, I would have to develop the capacity to overcome personal setbacks preventing me from reaching my academic potential. In Spring of 2007, I started the semester two weeks late, extending my winter vacation, and put on a medical leave of absence. It took me two weeks to make the most important decision of my life, to go back to school and not give up and withdraw. Despite my 3.236 overall GPA from University of Colorado at Boulder, and my less than average senior year grades, I rallied: writing and researching my honors thesis, and graduated cum laude with Departmental Honors in Sociology, in December 2007. As a law student I faced similar difficulty maintaining a GPA above the required 2.0. My grades dropped, I was academically dismissed from my law school, and I got pulled over a few months later. It was then I came to a turning point in my career, instead of giving up I enrolled part-time as an LLM student at Thomas Jefferson School of Law. I realized that in order to succeed as a law student it is important that I work no more hours than I am able 20 to study each week. I am now taking one course at a time at Thomas Jefferson School of Law (online) and working part-time on an as needed basis, 0-20 hours per week. For a long time I have struggled to maintain a balance between school, volunteer work, and other extracurricular activities, but I have since found that balance. I hope that the information provided in my personal statement, resume, addendum, application, and letters of recommendation will attest to the positive changes I have made in my life and the commitment and dedication I will apply to my work as a student at your law school.
Personal Statement (2007-2013) (Reviewed 07-02-19) (v3)
Growing Up by Leslie A. Fischman I made the biggest decision of my life, when I chose to reach out, get help, and continue to pursue a legal education. [There are moments in life] when time freezes—when we feel like we are stuck and can’t move forward— and today similarly feels like a nightmare that we can’t awake from. We get stuck in the moment, waiting for it to pass. We wonder that if we did something differently, then things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did and that if only we had the power, we could change the past.
However, we realize our own powerlessness when events happen to us that we have no control over. Throughout the past sixteen years, I have worked very hard to set myself apart. I learned to forgive those who have harmed those closest to us, realizing that there was nothing I could do but be compassionate and supportive. In order to deal with the trauma associated with that event, I redirected my focus, and decided to go to law school. As I continue to rally through adversity, I have found ways to identify the significance of that experience, our friendship over the years, and the events that followed, in a positive way. Making a positive difference required me to diversify the activities I became involved with and to remove myself from the cycle of trauma, and be proactive. I decided to volunteer for a local crisis hotline and after two years I researched, wrote, 2 and defended my Honor’s Thesis entitled “Dealing with Vicarious Trauma and Managing Emotions While Providing Advocacy to Survivors of Sexual Assault.” Volunteering enabled me to develop a deeper understanding of effect that trauma can have on one’s feelings of safety, emotional stability, and ability to adapt. The process of recovery and healing has had a significant impact on the person I am today and has given me unique insight into the field of trauma.
It is not until we experience pain ourselves that can we begin to understand the pain associated with a significantly traumatizing event in one’s history. I know now that what I do in the present is vitally important to where I see myself in the future, so that I can continue making a difference and provide legal advocacy to those in need. After five months of trying to make amends where needed, and clarify any misconceptions regarding my motivations for attending law school, I’ve finally come to a pause. During a period in which I was unable to make good decisions for myself I reached out to those who I thought would be the best examples of maintaining composure in times of extreme controversy. Often times the people who react first, are the one’s most knowledgeable. To my surprise I opened this invitation only after I returned home, almost a month after, separated from my souvenirs, it was laid flat with the newspaper and red bow it came with, assumed it was a general greetings letter sent from the Hotel in which I stayed a week prior, to walk around the city before it got too crowded. I flew to DC because I inherently knew that if there was anyone who could understand what it means to face adversity, it would be you and your family. The kind of pressure I feel I am under at times, can be overwhelming. I have always managed to persevere under circumstances which prior to this semester where outside of my control, and stated at being so in prior personal statements, which were flipped around by parties knowing that I felt this way, and positioned me in harms way, knowing that I have difficulty focusing, running the risk (willingly) to keep me out of structured environment, making me more susceptible to harming myself, so as to alleviate liability or free themselves of blame, and use my statement against me, to argue that she knowingly put herself in harms way and we in no way contributed to her positioning herself in harms way to which she became of harm to herself.
I have always been honest to a T and never in anyway tried to outsmart or undermine my Professors or the Administration in their abilities to do their job, in fact I often visited the administrators office to handle forms and turn in papers in person because I felt comfortable around them and trusted them and never once questioned them or that they were in anyway trying to put me in harms way or ever feel like they turned against me. However, when I started dating my ex boyfriend, the climate around me began to change, and not understanding why, I became very depressed and did not know why my grades dropped, I never found law school difficult, and was at the top of my class when I started and felt that this was a school that I could excel in and stand out, never once did I feel that I was being downgraded or that I was being discriminated upon.
In June 2009 I began law school and my first grade was a B. Given this experience I have become determined to continue making a difference, with or without the support of my peers, as when I relied on others to sustain, I fell apart, but when I rely on myself and the tools I have acquired through school to help myself and help quell the confusion of the issues and assumptions made about how and why I committed suicide, the better able I am to move forward from that experience and become stronger as a result and more resilient to life’s stressors and general rejections.
“It is for these reasons that I believed a Masters in Law in Risk Management and Compliance would be the most appropriate area of law, indirectly applicable to the issues, that run closest to heart and at home,” [which I stated in my application 2013]. When in school I am a diligent student, hardworking, and able to keep up with the course load and material provided to 5 be learned each week. As a Juris Doctorate Student there is only so much you can learn within the narrow confines of a general legal education, which is why I am choosing to apply for a Masters Program in Law that specializes in the kind of detail and expertise needed to succeed in any one area of law, and differentiate myself from the other applicants when applying for jobs in a Law Office Setting.
The Crisis Hotline
There is only so much one can do as a hotline counselor and victim advocate. Which caused me to question who helps those who take on the primary responsibility of helping others. Many assume that if someone is able to help another, they can take care of themselves. However many of the Counselors I spoke to were convinced that helping others had a positive impact on their ability to help themselves. [However], one who is ill-prepared is unable to make an accurate assessment of their capacity to fulfill a role better suited by those with the educational background and degree of expertise needed to assist individuals in crisis.
As a hotline counselor you are continually exposing yourself to the experience and the effects of trauma. Who's helping the helper deal with dozens of traumatizing experiences that individuals face as victims. The magnitude of this problem and the consequences it has had on an individual’s personal and emotional development has yet to be addressed.
In light of my own experiences, I can only suggest that one reason why I faced a significantly more trauma was due to two factors: one my personal history, how I coped with my problem, and how my problem was further exacerbated by the vicarious trauma I experienced as a hotline counselor. For these reasons I [tried to] maintain the anonyminity of this organization, by not listing its name on my resume.
The Importance of Education to my Personal Growth
I wanted to do more than be there as someone to talk to. I always felt as though I could do more, and this where my interest in law began. I know how to talk to people in crisis and the skills I have attained through working with victims has made me more sensitive to their needs and more prepared to respond to those in crisis situations. I find it immensely satisfying to help guide those in need, through their most trying and traumatic life experiences, giving them the support and access to resources they need in order to begin to cope. Working on the hotline, I have seen the difference that one person can make. As a lawyer especially, one has the rare ability and privilege to make a difference in a person’s life, changing the way victims of sexual assault see the law and encouraging them to come forward. As a lawyer I will acquire the tools necessary to make a difference and influence the live of others for the better.
It takes one person to believe someone who is otherwise ignored and dismissed by rest of society to make a difference, by increasing awareness and understanding to those who can help those at a disadvantage move on to more productive lives. [T]he end of my senior year, marked the most significant growth in my academic career and personal life.
It was at that point in my academic career when I recognized the importance of helping myself before assisting others. I learned that in order to help influence change in the lives of others, I would have to develop the capacity to overcome personal setbacks preventing me from reaching my potential and capacity to help others. Writing and defending an honors thesis, gave me the structure I needed to move forward and better understand my own experiences as well as the experiences of those I interacted with over the hotline for three years.
Not only did I address the problems and dilemmas students such as myself faced, while dealing and coping with trauma and vicarious symptoms of it, I found solutions to coping necessary to move forward. I learning how to help myself adapt to the personal changes I was undergoing, I became increasingly aware and motivated to help those similarly disadvantaged by the debilitating effects that experiencing trauma can have on ones personal, emotional, professional, and intellectual capacity needed to succeed academically.
Awareness is key to understanding. But I also want to do something to help make change happen in the lives of those I have interacted with. I feel that I can be a great asset to the current legal system, but I have a unique understanding of the experience of trauma, both first and second hand, that can only be learned through the experiences I have endured in my life time. I want to do more than merely be aware of the problems that exist in society, but I want to learn about what I can do for myself through education and work experience to put myself in a better position suited to helping those whose lives I want to change for the better.
Going to law school [has] enable[d] me to extend my role within the helping professions, so that I [could] provide legal advocacy to those in need, especially to those experiencing the pains and trauma of being victims of crime. [As] a Sociology major, I [became] more and more interested in exploring my writing capabilities, and challeng[ed] myself academically, making the most of my education both as a[n] [under]graduate of CU and as a student in the ABA Approved Paralegal Certificate Program at West Los Angeles College. [Where I] [became] inspired to learn more about law and exploring the ways in which I can best prepare myself for the discipline and demands that a legal education requires.
As a Sociology major and honors Student I was more than just aware of the problems individuals and groups in society faced, but I became equally fascinated by what I could do to get involved and do something to make change happen and influence the lives of others for the better. A successful education requires more than memorization and ability to apply theories and general concepts to specific circumstances. In order for me to fully understand the fundamental underpinnings of social problems, was to immerse myself in the problem itself. Placing oneself in an environment other than that provided by an academic setting, is a true test of one’s capacity to apply what we have learned in the classroom to a real-world setting.
Rather than be a bystander and base my judgments and understanding on the basis of the experiences and studies others have written, my intellectual capacity can be measured by my ability to adapt to pressures that require us to perform in unfamiliar territory, with little preparation, and depend on our instincts to guide us. I wanted to examine the problems for myself and address issues that may have been overlooked by those who are different from myself.
I may be young, but the uniqueness of my experience is what both differentiates myself from the other applicants and at the same time challenges me to not allow those differences to disassociate me from my peers but rather find ways to integrate those skills I have learned in a positive way. Rather than get frustrated, I have found education to be the one positive means for me to express myself and share my ideas, beliefs and opinions to those who have not experienced what I have.
Being able to communicate myself has been the sole means for me to grow past the pain of trauma and develop a deeper understanding of how those experiences can be utilized in a positive way and not inhibit my ability to adapt to my surroundings and embrace those around me and the value that sharing one’s knowledge and expertise with those less experienced has a more significant impact than allowing those differences to maintain silence. I am aware of the impact that sharing our differences has on those around us.
We are either embraced by those who understand and are similar to ourselves, or we are rejected. I have always been fascinated and drawn to those who are different from myself. It is those people who have taught me the most about myself. It is in the sharing of our differences and interacting among those in unfamiliar territory that we learn the most about ourselves and our intellectual capacity.
I thrive in any environment that challenges me to step out of my comfort zone. By embracing my weaknesses I have not only become more understanding of myself but have been able to extend that understanding and patience to those around me. I find comfort in the unknown and strength in my ability to overcome setbacks and insecurities that prevent me from reaching certain goals in my academic and work experiences.
What I do today, and the choices I make for myself, have a significant influence on the person I want to be one day. The skills I have learned as a volunteer on a Rape Crisis hotline counselor is one example of an experience which has significantly influenced the way I see the world today. While interning as a Paralegal at the City Attorney’s Office I have learned the importance of building and maintaining professional relationships with the people I work with, which has been strengthened by my ability and capacity to communicate well with people under stressful and crisis situations. [As I] extend[ed] my role as a legal advocate I have beg[an] volunteering for Public Counsel’s “Community Development Project,” applying the skills I have learned as an intern paralegal and taking on the roles and responsibilities as the primary paralegal assisting two attorney’s in change of the project.
Taking a Course that Required me to Study those who Deviate from the Law Rather than Follow the Norm or the Law
With each an every new experience, I am learning how to not only better myself, but how to be more effective in working with others and helping others. The experiences I find most rewarding in life are the ones in which I can help make a difference in another’s life. I feel that by working on the hotline and by being involved in student groups, I have gained confidence in ability to take on more leadership positions and the confidence needed to pursue future career plans such as becoming a lawyer.
Academic History
What I do today, and the choices I make for myself, have a significant influence on the person I want to be one day. The skills I have learned as a volunteer on a Crisis Hotline is one example of an experience which has significantly influenced the way I see the world today, teaching me the importance of building and maintaining professional relationships with the people I work with, while at the same time strengthening my ability to communicate well with people under stressful and crisis situations.
In November 2005 I received the Helping Hands Award, which reinforced and acknowledged the hard work and dedication I have showed to the organization. In that month I worked four twelve hour shifts, and had four hotcalls (assaults occurring within the past 24hrs), two of which I was called into the emergency room in the middle of the night to provide advocacy for a survivor undergoing a rape kit examination.
The end of my senior year marked the most significant growth in my academic career and personal life. It was at that point in my academic career when I recognized the importance of helping myself before assisting others. I learned that in order to help influence change in the lives of others, I would have to develop the capacity to overcome personal setbacks preventing me from reaching my potential and capacity to help others.
Writing and defending an honors thesis, gave me the structure I needed to move forward and better understand my own experiences as well as the experiences of those I interacted with over the hotline for three years. Dealing with vicarious symptoms of trauma required me to develop a treatment plan suited to my individual needs. I had no one to talk to and later found out, this was because so little was known.
I found my own solution to coping, was by educating myself and [taking the] necessary [action] to help me move forward. Awareness is key to understanding. But I also want to do something to help make change happen in the lives of those I have interacted with. I feel that I can be a great asset to the current legal system, but I have a unique understanding of the experience of trauma, both first and second hand, that can only be learned through the experiences I have endured in my life time. I want to do more than merely be aware of the problems that exist in society, but I want to learn about what I can do for myself through education and work experience to put myself in a better position suited to helping those whose lives I want to change for the better.
Going to law school enable[ed] me to extend my role within the helping professions, so that I [could] provide legal advocacy to those in need, especially to those experiencing the pains and trauma of being victims of crime. Furthermore, in order to extend my role as a legal advocate I [began] volunteering for Public Counsel’s “Community Development Project,” applying the skills I learned as an intern paralegal [by] taking on the roles and responsibilities as the primary paralegal assisting two attorney’s in change of the project.
A successful education requires more than memorization and ability to apply theories and general concepts to specific circumstances. In order for me to fully understand the fundamental underpinnings of social problems, was to immerse myself in the problem itself, testing my capacity to apply what I have learned in the classroom to a real-world setting. I was more than aware of the problems that individuals in society faced, but fascinated by what I could do to get involved and do something to make change happen and influence the lives of others for the better.
As I have become more involved in my extracurricular activities, I began to see a change in my academic interests and became more focused on exploring other areas of study, besides my primary major coursework. In the fall of 2004, during my Sophomore year I took a course called “Deviance in U.S. Society.” It was the first class to expose me to issues regarding crime and delinquency, and why people commit crimes. Education has been the one positive means for me to express myself and share my ideas, beliefs and opinions within a setting shared by similar individuals informed and committed to academic achievements. Taking a course that required me to study those who deviate from the law rather than follow the norm or the law.
Being able to communicate myself has been the sole means for me to grow past the pain of trauma and develop a deeper understanding of how those experiences can be utilized in a positive way and not inhibit my personal and academic growth. I am aware of the impact that sharing our differences has on those around us. I have always been drawn to those who are different from myself. It is those people who have taught me the most about myself. It is in the sharing of our differences and interacting among those in unfamiliar territory that we learn the most about ourselves[,] and our intellectual capacity.
I thrive in any environment that challenges me to step out of my comfort zone. By embracing my weaknesses I have not only become more understanding of myself but have been better able to adapt to my current environment as I have become aware of the level of patience required to effectively communicate and address the needs of those around me. I find comfort in the unknown and strength in my ability to overcome setbacks that have prevented me in the past from reaching certain goals in my academic and work experiences. 9 What I do today, and the choices I make for myself, have a significant influence on the person I want to be one day. The skills I have learned as a volunteer on a Crisis Hotline is one example of an experience which ha[d] significantly influenced the way [in which] I s[aw] the [W]orld.
As a volunteer I have learned the importance of building and maintaining professional relationships with the people I work with, which has strengthened by my ability and capacity to communicate well with people under stressful and crisis situations.
With each an every new experience, I am learning how to not only better myself, but how to be more effective in working with others and helping others. The experiences I find most rewarding in life are the ones in which I can help make a difference in another’s life. I have gained confidence in my ability to take on the challenges that law school present because I see the positive value that my education has had on my personal development. As a graduate of CU and as a student in the ABA Approved Paralegal Certificate Program at West Los Angeles College, in combination with my volunteer and work experiences are what have inspired me to learn more about law and explore the ways in which I can best prepare myself for the discipline and demands that a legal education requires.
A successful education requires more than memorization and ability to apply theories and general concepts to specific circumstances. In order for me to fully understand the fundamental underpinnings of social problems, was to immerse myself in the problem itself, testing my capacity to apply what I have learned in the classroom to a real-world setting. I was more than aware of the problems that individuals in society faced, but fascinated by what I could do to get involved and do something to make change happen and influence the lives of others for the better. As I have become more involved in my extracurricular activities, I began to see a change in my academic interests and became more focused on exploring other areas of study, besides my primary major coursework. In the fall of 2004, during my Sophomore year I took a course called “Deviance in U.S. Society.” It was the first class to expose me to issues regarding crime and delinquency, and why people commit crimes. Unlike any other course I had taken so far, this was the first professor to include undergraduate students as part of teaching staff. I found the class so interesting I applied for a teaching position the following semester as was 1 of 10 selected from the top students in the class who applied, and were asked to be interviewed. Part of my job was to teach the material to the students the following semester with a T.A. during sections, two of which I taught, and to write examination questions, develop an answer key to the essay questions, and grade exams too.
In the Fall of 2005, I decided to switch majors from Psychology to Sociology, and quickly became a member of CU’s AKD (Alpha Kappa Delta) International Sociology Honors Society, in November 2005, and served as the chapters president the following semester. As president, I was given the responsibility to organize the agenda and scheduling of meetings. My primary responsibility was soliciting other upper division Sociology majors, who met the requirements, to join. In order to help gather new members to the growing organization, I helped to develop a website for our chapter, to allow information about our group and the benefits of joining to be easily accessed online, by those interested.
Since becoming a Sociology major, I have become more and more interested in exploring my writing capabilities, and challenging myself academically, making the most of my education here as an undergrad at CU. After taking a field research methods course this past semester (doing field research on Hotline Counselors [such as myself], [from] the organization I volunteer[ed] for), I was inspired to learn more about the topics I wished to address, and to further my knowledge on the sociological theories and aspects related to my field of study.
I saw this [Research Course] as an opportunity to further my [S]ociology thought and knowledge about a specific group of people, and expand upon the work I had already begun, as an independent study during my senior year, working on a thesis. I was given a strong recommendation by my professor of my field research methods class to speak to the professor in charge of the sociology department’s honors program, once I applied I was immediately accepted into the program and offered a chance to prove my writing ability and capacity to develop and defend a senior [H]onor’s [T]hesis.
Academic and Volunteer Experiences
After a less than satisfactory senior year, I was determined to make a come back. In order to bolster my GPA I made a conscious decision to refocus my energies back to my academic endeavors and became motivated to graduate with honors despite the significant drop in my overall GPA Senior year. I had finished my Junior year on the Dean’s List and thought that I was invincible. My priorities changed and found that helping others no longer had a positive impact on my personal development. When I stopped focusing on myself and put the needs of others before my own, I quickly sank into a deep hole.
What started out as a minor problem became spiraling into a debilitating disease. After the fall of my Senior year, I knew I had to take action. With the experience of helping others I was critically aware of the importance of building the necessary support networks around me to help fight through this problem. Rather than avoid my problems I began facing them head on and did everything I could to better myself. I found strength in support groups and sought individualized treatment. I confronted my family and allowed myself to overcome the shame and embarrassment that comes with admitting to ourselves, and others our failures and weaknesses.
As, I rallied through the most significant turning point in my academic and personal development. [While] this story is significant, is not to highlight my biggest setback, but its help me move forward in my academic career. My senior year is not an accurate measure of my potential to fail as a law student, rather an indication of my awareness of my deficiencies, my ability to overcome those weaknesses, face my problems and deal with them. Excessive awareness of my weaknesses overpowered my capacity to stay positive and focused on my goals. Moving forward required me to focus on my strengths as an individual and realize my potential to overcome any barriers. I became less concerned with what my friends and family thought and more focused on what I could do to prove to myself that I could get through this problem. I knew that my biggest weakness was my desire to help others and failure to negatively judge those different from myself and viewed negatively based on societal assumptions about certain types of people. I circumvented this problem by disassociating myself from those who took advantage of my giving nature, loyalty, and kindness.
In order to move forward I had to let go of those who were unable to help themselves. I took action, making myself and future my number one priority. My experiences have shown me the importance of education, discipline, and structure. Going to Law [S]chool will give me the education, discipline, and structure needed in order to strengthen my ability to help others, so that I can make a difference.
I was able to help myself, not by what I was told to do, but by doing what I instinctively felt was the right the thing to do. I spent my Spring semester Senior year recovering, reading every book possible, even accessing journal articles through CU Boulder’s Library databases, researching support groups and networks in the area, in addition to attending classes and completing my requirement to graduate with the Spring 2007 class. I barely 11 kept up with my studies, even though I met every deadline that semester, my grades suffered as result of minimal class attendance.
I had done everything required of me to graduate in the Spring 2007 but chose not to. The pressure to recover and bounce back became more burdensome than expected. I would graduate but without honors. I made a critical decision to rescind my application for graduation in the Spring and took the risk of pursuing an Honor’s Thesis and graduating with honors despite my 3.2 cum avg. at that time. I was not the average candidate and did not even meet the GPA requirement for general honors, but my successes as a Sociology major is what enabled me to achieve Departmental Honors in Sociology.
That summer I became motivated and determined to prove myself and my intellectual capacity to research and compose a graduate level thesis, entitled, “Dealing with Vicarious Trauma and Managing Emotions While Providing Advocacy to Survivors of Sexual Assault.” This was no easy task. As a qualitative research study, I needed approval from the University’s Human Research Committee (HRC) to conduct my research. I submitted a proposal to the HRC describing my project, the population I would be studying and the participants who would be interviewed for this study. In addition, I also had to prepare a Confidentiality Agreement Form, which needed to be approved by the HRC and handed to each participant I would interview. The Confidentiality Agreement Form I prepared gave a general description of my research project, their rights as a participant, their right to refuse or discontinue the interview proceedings at any time, and needed their signed approval to interview them. In order to maintain the anonyminity of the participants of my study, I coded all my data and issued them numbers to prevent any records of their identity from being associated to my notes and recorded statements obtained from those interviews. Pursuing an Honors Thesis taught me the importance of maintaining a balance between ones personal and working relationships. Maintaining the anonyminity of the organization in which I studied was critical to the Committees approval of my study. As a longtime Volunteer and Hotline Counselor it was important for me to maintain that balance, although composing a study and critically analyzing the structure of that organization had its risks. A shift occurred when I was no longer helping them, but beginning to help myself and better understand my experience as a volunteer and the impact that my involvement within that organization had on my personal, emotional, and mental health.
As a volunteer I only saw the positive benefits that the experience of helping others could have on my own personal development. However as a researcher I was able to look back, reflect, and analyze the experiences shared by the other volunteers I worked with, to better understand how this organization impacted these individuals lives, either for better or for worse. I became intrigued by the concept of vicarious trauma and curious as to why so little research and books have been written about vicarious trauma experienced by those in helping professions, such as counselors and therapists. I wanted to know who suffered from it and why.
My research gave me answers to the questions I had. While researching and writing my Honor’s Thesis, I developed a deeper understanding of the problems and circumstances individuals face and how lack of foresight that comes with education needed to prepare those in specialized helping professions. Many of the counselors I spoke to, [stated] that “helping others ... [helped them to] mak[e] a [positive] difference[,]” [which] is why they volunteered and outweighed the negative side-effects and detrimental impacts of working with individuals in crisis. Through my own experiences I have learned that trauma and the events that cause us to feel traumatized do not necessarily happen subsequent to one in another, or in that order.
Sometimes there are gaps in time between the actual experience and the point in which we begin to feel the effect it has had on us. Thus experiencing first hand traumatized victims of violence and sexual assault and its effects may be less than noticeable from the start. Even less noticeable if we are being convinced that these feelings are “part of our job and that, “we all feel like that sometimes.” We were told to “take time out for ourselves” when we felt overwhelmed.
I did more than take time out for myself. I wrote an Honor’s Thesis and helped myself when no one else knew how, when no one else could explain to me what I was going through, I had to figure it out on my own. 12 I allowed myself to heal through my experiences and personal pitfalls by staying committed to my academic achievements. Researching and writing enabled me to put my feelings, opinions, and beliefs aside, by taking a more objective approach to dealing with my problems. Understanding the causes and the mitigating factors that contribute to the circumstances I found myself in, helped me to overcome this roadblock.
The purpose of my thesis was not to excuse the actions I took subsequent to my commitment as a volunteer or justify my actions by drawing an association between two problems, one experienced by those in helping professions and another problem faced by individuals in society in general. Rather the purpose of my research was not to help others initially, but it was about others and the impact that helping others has had on my self-worth, identity, personal, emotional, and academic development. Studying the effects of vicarious trauma and impact it has on individuals in helping professions provided me with the foundation from which to build my research.
The interviews I conducted were unique in that I could empathize with those I spoke to, because I shared similar feelings as a hotline counselor. By analyzing the experiences of those I interviewed as well as my own, I attempted to provide an explanation, based on my own critical assessment and analysis of what resources were made available to me as a undergraduate student. My research was supported by the facts of what happened, the events leading up to that point in time, and the surrounding environmental contributors to that problem.
My research was further supported by concurring accounts given by other counselors in addition to expert and licensed clinical therapists I interviewed to broaden my understanding and give me additional insight into their thoughts regarding the assistance they provide and standards they have placed in the care they provide in comparison to other organizations such as the one I studied, which may have placed their less experienced volunteers in less than favorable circumstances potentially causing members of their organization irreversible harm, mental, and emotional damage.
These are the experiences which have motivated me to pursue a career in law. I am more than aware of the hardships individuals face in society and have specialized knowledge of the impacts that violence and sexual assault can have on its victims. Especially the impact that experiencing trauma can have on children, and that age matters in terms of one’s ability to cope with trauma and seek help. I know that for many individuals in society their options are limited in terms of the available help and resources needed to help address their individual needs.
I know that not every student is as privileged as I, to have the support of family and financial resources to gain access to certain resources, which is why I want to go to law school, to make a difference in lives of those who are either unable or without the necessary support it takes to succeed in law school. Based on my own personal history, I know I am capable and I know that once given the opportunity I will do whatever it takes for me to be a successful law student and share with you an explanation of my prior experiences to evidence my ability to overcome and stay committed to my academic, personal, and career development.
As I continue to rally through adversity, I have found ways to identify the significance of that experience, our friendship over the years, and the events that followed, in a positive way. Making a positive difference required me to help myself before assisting others. Diversifying the activities I chose and groups I associated with enabled me to remove myself from the cycle of trauma. Realizing my self-worth meant taking chances, taking risks, and believing in myself. I want to do more than merely be aware of the problems that exist in society; I want to learn about what I can do for myself through education and work experience to put myself in a better position suited to helping those whose lives I want to change for the better.
Going to law school will enable me to extend my role within the service professions, and allow me to increase awareness and understanding among individuals who can help those at a disadvantage move on to more productive lives. 13 At this point I have made the greatest academic, personal, and work-related leap of my life. In order for me to continue the momentum carried by this transition, I have to dig deeper to achieve the professional growth that can only be accomplished by [continuing my] legal education.
Re: Learning Disability
Throughout my Academic Career I have found grave difficulty achieving the kind of success I have always strived for as a student. For every Academic Institution in which I have thrived, there has always been one common denominator that keeps me motivated and inspirited, and that is my ability to relate and adapt to the environment in which I am taught. It was at University of Colorado at Boulder, where I began to excel academically and realize my full potential in research and writing, as a Sociology Honors Student. A very important skill I carried with me and applied to my studies as a Law Student in my Advanced Legal Writing Course, in which I was awarded a Witkin Award in Advanced Legal Writing for Academic Excellence.
I have always strived to first make a difference in my own life, before I am able to help make a difference in the life of another. Throughout my Academic Career I have managed to maintain a delicate balance between the time dedicated to my studies in school as well as making time to volunteer and gain real world experience working in a law office setting in the Public Service Sector.
I learned a very important lesson as a Juris Doctorate Student at the University of West Los Angeles School of Law, to always put myself first not the needs of others. For those reasons, I in turn mismanaged my time resulting in poor grades trying to work part time and go to school full time. Now three years later, I continue to make progress by focusing not on what has past but rather what I can do at the present moment to help build a better future for myself. This past semester has been a great learning experience in how no matter how trying or trivial the circumstances may be, focusing on the positive has kept me moving forward.
When I got my DUI this Spring 2013, was the first time I have ever been arrested in my entire life, because I gave up on myself and my dreams of becoming an Attorney one day, and one of my greatest regrets in my entire Academic Career. The most important character trait that defines me, and which I protect at all costs, is my Academic Integrity, which can only be remedied by going back to school and starting anew. Throughout my Academic Studies as a Law Student and Undergraduate Student I have accumulated over 2,000 hours volunteering, interning, and externing at various Public Service Agencies, Law Firm, and Non Profit Organizations providing valuable services to individuals in need such as victims of crime, and provided volunteer paralegal services to Government officials and victims of car accidents at the The Los Angeles City Attorney’s Office, for one year prior to attending law school.
Working as a Paralegal at the City Attorney’s Office [gave] me direction and focus, enabling me to make a difference, and move forward by extending my role within the legal field, in a positive way. In addition, volunteering for Public Counsel, and working with the Homeless and disadvantaged has further inspired me to do everything I can to stay positive and recognize the privileges I have been afforded in my life and how I can help others in the future. In the past, I have overextended myself as a victim advocate.
When I was 19, I volunteered for a crisis hotline in order to better understand my mother’s childhood experiences and reasons for maintaining her silence. In order to better understand my own experiences, I decided to study the effects of sexual assault and vicarious trauma. I quickly identified the symptoms, which may otherwise be ignored or dismissed by outsiders. Writing helped me to understand the importance of building support networks, and in order to circumvent the side- effects of vicarious trauma meant that I had to interview various professionals, who gave me additional insight aside from the responses shared by those within the organization.
While researching and writing my honors thesis, I began finding answers and potential solutions to the vicarious symptoms experienced by those in helping and advocacy professions. Writing helped prepare me for the difficulties I would encounter trying to understand the uniqueness of my childhood experiences and the positive effect that education and structure has had on my personal development. In order to fully understand the fundamental underpinnings of the problems faced by those responsible for defending others, I decided to immerse myself within the legal profession as an Intern Paralegal at the Los Angeles City Attorney's Office.
While volunteering at the City Attorney's Office, I learned how to research, write and respond to discovery requests, and defend the City and its employees in personal injury lawsuits. Working at the City Attorney’s Office has given me direction and focus, teaching me how to channel my thirst for knowledge, enabling me to make a difference, and move forward, extending my role within the legal field one case at a time.
“What is at Issue”
Whats at issue. Is how schools by some professors grading tables, grew me insecure about my sense of logic and made me question myself, that’s whats at issue, and causes me now grave concern for how many other students are always treated akind to this kind of unrecognized adversity simply because they do not conform to the social ideals or representations of themselves or mold to which these professors what to regulate the conflict and confines of their ability to reason and draw deductions. To set up barriers to ones esteem or logic or ability to achieve is a great travesty (trevorsty) to ones upward mobility. Someone such as myself with a unique background and history, and high degree of conformity to socially appropriate standards of communication without subliminally messaging or conspiring. To be thrust in such a limelight to repond to such salacious rumors and gossip, such as the descriptive words used in one of my personal statements in 2009. Is absolutely a violation of my privacy, for people to think they can just barge into my computer read my material and then produce their own, trying to utlilize the educational tools and deductions from which I have ascribed to a set of ethical principles to the highest degree and in conformity with laws governing the standards to which those tools and educational resources may and may not be utilized. To be set up for failure is wrong in itself. What is even more gravely disturbing is how one experience such as hospitalization got twisted so far in the wrong direction.
In 2008 I began my studies as a Paralegal student at an American Bar Association Paralegal Certificate Program. After taking a course on Introductory Civil Litigation, I had a meeting with a Professor after school hours to discuss “how to seal a deposition.” Upon background checking myself via Google, I found that my name had been cached to a Deposition from 1994, the year that a woman who was like a Mother to me, was stabbed to death in front of her home the night of my last Dance Recital at Paul Revere Middle School. I was told to write a note of compassion, which I expressed in a brief statement on a memorial page on Facebook, “please respect the privacy of her children and do not write anything that would be considered offensive [to the memory of their mother, Nicole Brown Simpson].”
As a paralegal student I felt helpless. After writing my personal statements, then reading a deposition led by Mr. Petrocelli of my parents, I became 15 suspicious of the intent for which those questions were asked, in regards to the whereabouts of his children, to which I was a named party to the response to the open ended question. Reading further in my mother’s deposition, I found a piece regarding the length of my friendship to Sydney, considering now I am going to law school and her father going to jail, I felt at odds, that this would look to be something related, to which it was never meant to be related. Needing to gain a better understanding of why these question prompts were asked, I found a very strongly suggested piece of evidence to which he was adamantly trying to get responses for, regarding my mother’s book, and requesting for a copy of the book.
Reading this, and recalling my mother’s book being reviewed by friends while at her home, I read the book briefly up until a point where I could see that the information contained in the book could be seriously misleading, given it was edited by someone with no forethought, just trying to paint a picture without consideration for the potential consequences or implications that could potentially arise from the order in which the characters of the book were introduced. Seeing that I was the first individual described in detail, I immediately became concerned. As I thought this was a book about my mother’s life, entitled “The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth.” I began seeking a response, just a simple response, why did you write those things in your book about me, portraying me as someone who is mentally disabled [I only got zeros on my ERBs in Kindergarten, I never realized how difficult it was to help me do well in school or teach me how to study, but now I do not interpret that description in the negative, but it is nice to know that was a difficulty my Mother faced at the time, which she shared with her best-friend Nicole, asking for advice, which Nicole replied by saying something to the extent to be patient with me, needs to be read to, she will be fine –I don’t remember exactly what was said in my Mother’s book] -or in need of special assistance or severely learning disabled. I do not recall needing that much attention or assistance growing up, I was active in sports and gymnastics, had friends, and generally liked school and an enthusiastic student. [Now I see: That was just Petrocelli making me paranoid again about people casting a negative judgment towards me or my family].
When circumstances arise, that which no explanation is required, and response by one is sufficient to help put the remaining pieces together, than no person on this planet is at privy to re-situate me under even dire circumstances to try to prove my character is otherwise is futile to the central purpose for sharing peacefully. That is their motive. Bullies, attack generally when one’s guard is down, and there is an incentive from the start. When I met this man, he was down and out, with a slurring slow tone, "I'm in technology" at that time I was not able to help anyone, because I am sick and trying to get my strength back, my brain works, my head hurts, my body gets tired easily, I lose energy quickly, I’m driven, and I generally get along with everyone unless they are triggering me in a way that a response in direct reaction could have a dramatic effect on my ability to move forward given the circumstances, I have tried my best to stay focused and calm and carry on without drama or fighting with any one person in particular, that was the main idea.
The first time I encountered this issue was February 2009 I was hospitalized and diagnosed as gravely disabled for the first time, prior to attending Law School. I know that drinking can interfere with my focus and mode stability, which is why I refrained from drinking while in Law School. I am now under the care of a new psychiatrist Dr Gandin, and given a shot of Risperidone every two weeks, for mood stability and have resumed taking my Learning Disability medication after being taken off Adderrall Summer 2011 (for 3 years), and put in treatment for two months for Depression and Suicidal thoughts after my boyfriend at the time broke up with me during finals. I have continued to rally through these personal struggles, and do my best, and try to communicate as clearly as possible my goals in life. To finish Law School, either at UWLA (where I have spent the past 5 years) or finish only with an LLM at Thomas Jefferson School of Law if I can meet the demands of the challenging course load, reading comprehension wise. I want to stay in school, because school is where I thrive best and feel the most at peace with myself, productive, apart of society, not isolated, and positive social interaction with individuals who share a similar interest in achieving great things in life and helping others.
I hope that this letter better explains, the embarrassment I am going through right now, and sincere apologies for my inability to explain in a concise manner why my grades were dropping and why it was so difficult for me to explain why. I have mental health issues, I get sick from time to time lethargic, I sleep a lot , or experience mania and feel alone ruminating being too hard on myself. I just want to finish law school, as best I can.
Throughout my Academic Career I have found grave difficulty achieving the kind of success I have always strived for as a student. For every Academic Institution in which I have thrived, there has always been one common denominator that keeps me motivated and inspirited, and that is my ability to relate and adapt to the environment in which I am taught. It was at University of Colorado at Boulder, where I began to excel academically and realize my full potential in research and writing, as a Sociology Honors Student. A very important skill I carried with me and applied to my studies as a Law Student in my Advanced Legal Writing Course, in which I was awarded a Witkin Award in Advanced Legal Writing for Academic Excellence. I have always strived to first make a difference in my own life, before I am able to help make a difference in the life of another.
Throughout my Academic Career I have managed to maintain a delicate balance between the time dedicated to my studies in school as well as making time to volunteer and gain real world experience working in a law office setting in the Public Service Sector. I learned a very important lesson as a Juris Doctorate Student at the University of West Los Angeles School of Law, to always put myself first not the needs of others. For those reasons, I in turn mismanaged my time resulting in poor grades trying to work part time and go to school full time. Now three years later, I continue to make progress by focusing not on what has past but rather what I can do at the present moment to help build a better future for myself.
[2013 was] a great learning experience in how no matter how trying or trivial the circumstances may be, focusing on the positive has kept me moving forward. 17 When I got pulled over this Spring 2013, was the first time I have ever been arrested in my entire life, because I gave up on myself and my dreams of becoming an Attorney one day, and one of my greatest regrets in my entire Academic Career. The most important character trait that defines me, and which I protect at all costs, is my Academic Integrity, which can only be remedied by going back to school and starting anew. Throughout my Academic Studies as a Law Student and Undergraduate Student I have accumulated over 2,000 hours volunteering, interning, and externing at various Public Service Agencies, Law Firm, and Non Profit Organizations providing valuable services to individuals in need such as victims of crime, and provided volunteer paralegal services to Government officials and victims of car accidents at the The Los Angeles City Attorney’s Office, for one year prior to attending law school.
I know now that the decisions I make at the present moment have a substantial impact on my ability to grow both emotionally and professionally. I have spent my entire Academic Career building a foundation of Integrity that provides me with the kind of self reliance necessary to become a professional, without dependency on anyone or anything to maintain composure under pressure. Without strict adherence to the laws required as a Driver on the road, to not have alcohol in their system, is a devastating end to my studies as a Law Student at UWLA School of Law. This past semester I have been arrested twice, aggravated and helpless and compliant but to no avail no one will write a letter on my behalf to return to law school, and its eating me away inside I feel completely worthless. By the second time I got pulled over and arrested, I was arrested for and in full compliance skipped the sobriety test and took the breathalyzer exam, after which was given the option of being transferred to a psych ward in Long Beach or Jail, and not wanting to run the risk of being put on an extended 14-day hold at the psych ward, I opted to spend the night in jail instead. I am trying my very best to build me Academic Integrity back to where it was when I started law school and that no distraction is an excuse nor any disturbances adequate justification for non compliance with the rules of the road, to not drink and drive. I learned a very important lesson this semester.
All my life I have wanted to make a difference and help others, through the education and experiences I have had working in the public service industry. When that ability was taken away from me, when academically dismissed from law school, I came to a crossroads. I had to make a decision whether to give up on all my legal education thus far and pursue a career in another industry or go back to law school. I chose to go back to law school, and have enrolled in a Masters Program at Thomas Jefferson School of Law. As a Law Student at West Los Angeles School of Law, I have had the privilege of attending classes that both challenged me and pushed me beyond my limits, and what I though myself capable of accomplishing. Spring 2011 I peaked academically in Law School, in my Advanced Legal Research and Writing Course. I scored high marks on all assignments, and received the highest grade in my class, an “A,” and received the Witkin Award for Academic Excellence. The study of law requires tremendous discipline and focus, and challenge that I have gradually been preparing myself for throughout this academic year a student online at Thomas Jefferson School of Law. With each new step I take, a new door opens, and applying for a Masters at Thomas Jefferson School of Law, has been a positive step towards my future, both academically and professionally. After applying and being admitted to Thomas Jefferson School of Law I was able to apply and obtain a position as a paid law clerk, a job that I would have otherwise not been offered had I not had this added credential to my LinkedIN resume.
Finishing [Law School] has always been my main objective since beginning my legal education. I hope that this statement is well received, given my history of prior hospitalizations and medical leaves while a student at University of West Los Angeles School of Law. Despite my learning disability and personal setbacks, I have continued to adjust to the rigorous academic standards required by law students. Given my current standing, I hope[d] that careful consideration [would be] made in regards to my present progress, when deciding whether to accept my application for transfer [to an LLM Program].
The end of my senior year marked the most significant growth in my academic career and personal life. At that point I finally recognized the importance of helping myself before assisting others. I learned that in order to help influence change in the lives of others, I would have to develop the capacity to overcome personal setbacks preventing me from reaching my academic potential. In Spring of 2007, I started the semester two weeks late, extending my winter vacation, and put on a medical leave of absence. It took me two weeks to make the most important decision of my life, to go back to school and not give up and withdraw. Despite my 3.236 overall GPA from University of Colorado at Boulder, and my less than average senior year grades, I rallied: writing and researching my honors thesis, and graduated cum laude with Departmental Honors in Sociology, in December 2007. As a law student I faced similar difficulty maintaining a GPA above the required 2.0. My grades dropped, I was academically dismissed from my law school, and I got pulled over a few months later. It was then I came to a turning point in my career, instead of giving up I enrolled part-time as an LLM student at Thomas Jefferson School of Law. I realized that in order to succeed as a law student it is important that I work no more hours than I am able 20 to study each week. I am now taking one course at a time at Thomas Jefferson School of Law (online) and working part-time on an as needed basis, 0-20 hours per week. For a long time I have struggled to maintain a balance between school, volunteer work, and other extracurricular activities, but I have since found that balance. I hope that the information provided in my personal statement, resume, addendum, application, and letters of recommendation will attest to the positive changes I have made in my life and the commitment and dedication I will apply to my work as a student at your law school.
