Chapter 10 (Draft) by Leslie A. Fischman
For Drafts for Books #3-5 (See Directory): www.mymollydoll.com/mymollydollcom-book-2 [Please Note]:  -  are for Book #2 #amazonbookwritinginc.
 http://www.mymollydoll.com/mymollydoll/chapter-12-overcoming-war (Chapter 12) 04-17-19
 http://www.mymollydoll.com/mymollydoll/chapter-18-blogging-v2-book-draft (Chapter 18) (05-18-19)
 http://www.mymollydoll.com/mymollydoll/mymollydollcom-book-draft-ch-22-25 (Chapters 22-25, 06-16-19)
A little inspiration goes a long towards living without regrets. How we are evolving day by day is similar to the evolution of social networks. Our lives take time to progress and while that is happening, we gradually realize how much we have grown physically, mentally, and emotionally. A major chunk of this evolution was taken over by the surroundings we live in. How we have progressed so much shows the standards of the society we have been a part of since our birth. The way that our parents raised us to how we matured within the upcoming years lets us know about the significance of the social behaviors we reflect on a daily basis.
Since humans are social animals, they require the company of other people who have similar tastes and thoughts as their own. Not just by conversation are we connected, the inner workings of adaptation stressful at times. If you’re not comfortable with your surroundings, it makes it difficult to perform internally and express those concerns out loud. Its important to always keep a level head, not expect more than you can handle, and not try too hard pushing yourself beyond your limits and the limits of others. We all have our shortcomings in life, some more successful than others, and by those representations of self are we judged, by our past. What you do have control over is how you feel, presentation is everything, not necessarily how others respond to you, should dictate how you feel inside, not everything is about you nor directed toward you in life, some commentary is just about making conversation not to hurt your feelings, or get inside your head. We all experience empathy, and to be trusted is to be understood at your best. You cannot understand the communications of others, as in competition for understanding, be better understood by others, if you don’t listen well, it makes it difficult to communicate in a way to which you can be understood, have compassion, and don’t always play up to your audiences in life, as read, the best conversations are ones had with oneself, let that positivity flow through your conversations out loud, not just to ones self, this is a learning lesson much to do with social media.
Even in the era where early humans would live in caves, they would still prefer to stick with their families and hunt in packs. This would help them get a better catch to feed on for the rest of the days. It was a way that people would bond with each other, while simultaneously working together to collectively progress and survive. Since then, humans have progressed and invented complex languages to communicate with each other. These gave them a way to express their emotions and allowed everyone a set of defined rules to understand and follow. The way people communicated helped them make friends and build on their relationships. The more they were kind and understanding towards each other, the better the chance they had at living a life with a lot of dear ones surrounding them.
Similar to that, there is something that evolves within us when words are spoken. When keeping the social aspect in mind, the power of words is usually underestimated. But despite that, words still have a strong influence on every person, which is done by using the platform that social media has provided us. The way we behave and how we think shows a lot about our overall personality. When words are spoken, there is a particular reaction expected to occur afterwards. Reactions that are important for a person as they carry weight to either prove or disapprove the theories of prior evolution of thoughts. Because of these reactions, the thoughts our mind is preoccupied with matter. What we think and how we behave matters for every single person.
There is a reason that everything is going social nowadays. These social networking sites can have both, negative and positive side effects on people; especially teenagers. Even after teenhood, we are getting to understand the social norms and how we should adapt to them with the passage of time. We realize who is worth to talk to and whom we should stay away from. This is all because of social media, which lets us be aware about the consequences of getting into toxic relationships with people present around us. It tells us who is our real friend, and how people portray themselves differently in front of the eyes of social media.
How people treat you [may be a] direct reflection of [the following and may change];
All of the above-mentioned factors highlight the importance you have in the eyes of others and how your behavior is supposed to change when you succeed in your goals. Some people may feel proud of your personality development and would love to interact with you on social media. This will happen if you are keeping your self-interests in mind and working on your personal betterment.
However, there will come a day when people will judge you without any particular reason. Even if you are not doing any harm to anybody because of your thoughts, people will still find flaws in you. This can happen due to many reasons as they might have a grudge against you or just do not like you for who you are as a person. Through the help of social media, you get way ahead of all this mess as you realize who adores you the most and who you should not even try to befriend. It is important to know how to keep yourself away from problems and live a healthier, happier life.
When people don’t like you and don’t come up to you because you don’t have a paid job or you don’t fall over their standards, then don’t worry about it. Don’t overthink about what they feel about you or say behind your back. Try to fight back and never let the negativity get to you. They will understand one day what’s important and what’s not about people. They will also know what to care for, who to care for, and why.
The way people talk about on social media, whether positively or negatively you, reflects their overall character and personality. So you should not feel low after listening to other people’s opinion about you. You should not care about anybody else apart from yourself as in your life, you should always come first. You need to use social media in a better way where you can make some good friends as well. But only if you feel like doing so. Do not force yourself to do something that you do not want to, neither should you force somebody to be your friend.
Sometimes, this not only depends upon your luck, but also on how you portray yourself on social media. For example, if you are tweeting about how to fight stress in your life, then you might be able to interact with people who are used to stressful conditions. They will feel good after reading your tweets and this will also show how much you care for them. Your thoughts are powerful and can have a good impact on other people’s lives. All you need to do is use their power in the right manner through social media.
Personally, I have seen a lot of positive changes in my life after I let out my thoughts on social media and used them to help others. This brought me closer to knowing myself and helped in grooming my overall personality. How I think now is different from how I used to back then. I am happier today because of the shifts in my thoughts, and social media has been there to help me out.
To improve your thought process, you must not take anything to your heart. You should not give any of your negative thoughts the authority to destroy you from within. You should rather try your best in everything that you do and think in a positive manner. As soon as you start thinking about positive things, even your health will get better. For that reason alone, you will behave nicely on social media and people will be inspired by you. In no time, you will attain the right motivation that others have been looking for. Nothing could be better than helping others and making them happy, but for that you will have to become happy first. You can only bring change through social media if you are bringing a healthy change in your life.
Sometimes it’s what matters for you the most that counts toward your successes in life. What matters to you is something you are destined to do in life and this will help you in moving forward. How you cope up with such important matters will be a reflection of the good wits about you.
Similarly, you cannot piggy back on the successes of others if you are not doing well in your life. Always remember who was there for you when you were down and take help from social media in knowing other people.
Another thing you should know about is that the more you will fuss over little things in life, the more self-centered you will become. A person who is self-centered only thinks about themselves and never gets happy about anything in life. They think they can own more than they have right now and this type of negative thinking will never help them in moving forward in life. You need to know that the more you make things about your needs, the less other people will care.
When you will behave like this on social media or in real life, people will identify you as a selfish person who does not care about others at all. This is not something you should be proud of and as soon as you will change this negative trait of yours, people will start appreciating you. So try to improve yourself and work on your weak points. The more you will focus on bettering yourself, the more people will want to be around you. This is the reality of life that keeps on revolving around your thought processes, your behavior, and what you perceive your future to be like.
To be a proper support system, you must first represent yourself well on the social media and in person. Why successful people surround themselves with successful people in life is only because they have experienced the hardships behind succeeding. You are at times a reflection of who you’re surrounded by and this will let you know about the type of friends you have and will make on the social media.
To be honest, it’s all a matter of manifestation: what you see, you become, especially when it comes to you on its own. Just like that, it is always up to you and how you want to do things by the end of the day. Your mind and cognitions should be in your control. Once that will happen, you will succeed and attain your goals at an alarming speed.
When your mind will focus more on the things you need to take care of for a better future, you will be provided with an idea about how you should lead your life and how can you influence others to follow in your footsteps. This is all that should matter to you right now and without such a mentality, you will never be able to move forward in life. So try to engage with other people through social media and help others as much as you want to help yourself.
When you match up well in life, that’s called fitting in and finding your niche. It’s important to always maintain a level head about you and groom yourself whenever you can. Who you are tells what you represent and who others are shows what they represent. Just like that, others cannot represent you if you yourself do not represent yourself in the best way possible.
If you will follow the advices mentioned above, then you will have higher chances to progress further in life. Obviously, it is not always about success, but if you are happy in life, this means you have succeeded and crossed the hurdles life has thrown your way. Success is not about making money or being filthy rich, but it is about reaching your end goals in a smart manner. When you will become smarter and more mature in life, you will use social media in an efficient way and make friends who are termed as good company. You will have more control over your emotions and you will be focused towards the goals you have set in mind.
Clearly, nothing can be better than reaching those goals that you are passionate about, and making yourself satisfied by achieving them. This can only be possible if you have a clear mindset and you do not indulge yourself in making unhealthy relationships through social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat. With the help of these positive changes in your life, you will also stay away from becoming depressive and anxious. So calm yourself down, behave in a way that will reflect a good aspect of your personality, and take as much help from social media as much as you can.
Think wisely. Life goes on so try to be sensitive to the needs of others. What gets amplified gets compared as a result, so know your limits. Always do your best at whatever you do in life. Try to forgive and forget as forgiveness is everything. Not just that but it’s what you choose to focus on what matters the most, accepted or not. Also, acceptance is about the comforting ability of you with your own self. Know the difference between your nightmares and your dreams in life, and for all to go well, plan out well in your favor. See the good in the world, not just yourself. Think well and do well on social media.
Who hasn’t heard about the famous phrase “Let’s make peace, not war”?Clearly, having peace is just the right solution of every toxic thing happening in and around our lives. So much so, I stopped watching TV all together, and took up writing as my passion in life. What you can’t mend or put together leave alone, same goes to stories and stories about stories, and the interconnections and purposes for which stories are told, some of the basis for which arguments are made, are not as important as applied to our own lives. You see best what to incorporate into your memory bank, different facts work for different people, and differing sets of ideas about selves and life is what makes life interesting, if we were all the same then life would be boring and still. To keep moving in life, you have to add in information that does not conflict with your belief systems or send you astray in life, and not necessarily be in cohorts with others, while keeping in mind those differences and not adding to the pot. What stirs the mind, is controversy, and when thrust into the mix, this can leave one feeling at odds with others, like a non-stop flight to hell and back, one loss to the next, your only suffering then is a manifestation of your adherence to the wrong guides in life, you know you best, and others know you only based on what you tell them about yourself, be careful to speak positively about oneself even when getting help, you could wind up putting yourself at odds, reading and misreading others, as misunderstood. Its wise not to interfere with the best interests of others, and their hard work, trying to achieve the same, be helpful not hurtful, upon interaction with others, the same goes to the type of information you download for study, what is of good use, to put to use the lives of others to tell a story or to tell a story on your own. Some of the best kept secrets in life are our strength of character not by belittling others to we find self-empowerment, nor empower others, but leave feelings of discomfort instead.
Have a look around you and ask yourself what you can see or what you are missing out at the moment. From birds flying in the sky to the sun rising from the east, you are able to see all these things happening in the way they should. However, have you ever wondered how weird it would look if there won’t be a single bird left in the sky or the sun will not rise at all? Have you ever given it a thought that the usual things around us, if changed, can have either a positive or a negative impact on our lives? Will you be able to survive if living away from the norms your mind, soul, and body have now become accustomed to?
Just like that, think of the people who have to adapt to their surroundings, right after a bomb explodes over them and rips off their close ones away from them. Think about those families who have to leave their homes because of ethical implications. What will you do if you won’t have a peace of mind because of various internal and external factors?
Millions of people have been dying for peace in their hometown since decades. We tend to overlook about sensitive issues like bombing, violence, torture, war etc. only because we are safe from them. It is true that people can only sympathize because they can’t really relate to the real problems around the world. Once you put yourself in their place, the image will get clearer and you will know how to understand their true feelings instead of sympathizing.
True that you cannot judge the future or predict the future based on the past outcomes but sometimes, these past outcomes leave a mark in your heart. Even at times like these when you feel helpless, you need to tell yourself that you have to be hyper-vigilant of yourself. War around different countries leads to the after trauma shocks, depression, anxiety, and what not. Clearly, life’s not a race to see who gets well first or based upon present support but it is about what you do to get better. This is exactly the case of wishing for peace of the world. Just like you need to work on your personal development first and of others later, you need to have a peace of mind, a peaceful spirit and body to attract others in doing the same.
Always be present minded and function according to the different needs of yours and others. This will not only help you to determine your future and move forward but will make you aware of having a peaceful soul you didn’t have before. How your needs will be met and based upon that conclusion resolve circumstances that suit your needs without interfering with the needs of others, that’s called having compassion for self and others.
If you want to see peace in the world, you need to start focusing on what’s more important. Remember, you can’t succeed by stepping over other’s happiness (which basically leads to violence in the end). Hurting others is never the solution. When you hurt others, you only hurt yourself as you are doing good to nobody. When there’s no good coming out of a certain behavior, you are bound to lose faith in yourself and humanity. That’s when the real trouble begins. You don’t realize how much disruptive you are being towards others until or unless that person distance themselves from you. That’s called human nature.
All humans are co-dependent, therefore all needs are based upon some common principles:
I have always followed the #publicsafety campaign and tried to help others in order to increase their self-awareness. When safety is achieved, further progress is made. When violent activities happen around you, the trust is lost in the society. However, when people follow the above mentioned hashtag, the survivors understand that somehow safety still exists around the world. When public is safe, people are safe -everything within counts toward that. When everything is lost, loss is felt and loss can be of any kind.
This is why wishing for peace for yourself and others is something only a thoughtful mind can come up with. This is one of the motivations in life that define you and your values. No singular hardships are ever the cause for success. If you can’t cope up with these hardships then you are bound to fail. You will be subjected to failure and thinking about those failures will only lead to more self-destruction. This is the kind of negativity you don’t want to be surrounded with if you want to feel peaceful.
Apart from that, be wary of who you choose to be in your life –someone who will not violate your standard of living and cause you any kind of distress. Also, be wary of what sides you choose to hold as a lot of people depend on a single decision made by you. This is the essence of peace in the whole world.
Wishing for peace is one of the beliefs of yours and your beliefs can lead to different causes and these causes do not create sides of equality. Another consequence of your actions can be inequality among the people around you. Be it the religious views or equality among different races, your actions should not be based upon principles of equality or of sides, but of peace.
Peaceful minds make the best decisions in life, i.e. those who preserve good in the World. Similarly, causes do not make belief systems and systems based upon hate are dismembering to say the least. But principles of authenticity in the world bring about doubts that help -help peace to persist. Having such a mindset leads to the generation of good decisions made, in fact the best decisions made.
To assess peace in the whole world, we need to start becoming trustworthy. Those who violate positions of trust and do not follow religious tenants, are not only the causes of violence and war but can be of serious concern. That when surrounded by we fall silent. In addition to that, be wary of the gravity of harm you place upon individuals for the rules and standards you put forth as to likings and as to welcoming, and as to acceptance and privileges given.
Privileges given are to those in trusted positions -people in power who have money are given insurances to boot those who cannot afford insurance or own a car. Is this justified? How are you supposed to bring peace in the world when there’s so much going wrong around you?
I myself am a very safe driver. I am someone to be trusted -a good Samaritan. I do not project weaknesses upon people by my own faults and this has helped me to become peaceful. There are times when I become thoughtful of others and there are times when I think about myself. This is because I equally care for myself and others but it all depends where I need to focus more on.
I was a victim of self-destruction and went through depression but I tried to overcome from my past. It took me a year to get well and by the time I got well, everyone else was not well. I did not understand why that happened but I always did my best to make them happy and feel peaceful at heart. I am always there for others since forever. I am someone to talk to, to confide in and put your trust in. This is the basic component of having peace in the world that starts from you.
Now that I am peaceful at heart, I am doing the opposite. For instance talking in public as I do not need the confidences of others to function. I do not need following or fan-ship because I know my life will have an influence on the ones who choose to stay healthy, peaceful, and happy. I am just a writer, kind enough to share my stats. I do so not for the purpose of promoting myself but to let others know about my past experiences and how I achieved peace.
At this time, writing a book, and going back to school with no plans to make money any time soon, for at least 1-2 years. It will take time for me to get a job and to function but I am at peace or at least trying to find it in my surrounding. I’m just writing a book for now. I am not writing for the first time as I have been writing online for many years. Now it is time to permanently write something and help others in achieving world peace. This is my type of World Peace Motion –helping others through inspiring them with my personal and professional life. This is something of value or something that can be valued. Something that will make me bring a smile on the faces of others, even the strangers. So how will you bring peace in the world? What is your idea behind working towards World Peace Motion?
“Be thankful for every passing day you live. Life is not short but it does not need to be painful or lived in regret. If you make the right choices no one can hurt you. Look to your past to thank God for where you are right now and look towards your future for peace.”
The key to find comfort in life is through the gratification one gets from knowing they are being valued by their close friends and family. Being valued is an essential need of any individual who wishes to prosper in the future. Majority of the relationships are built on the basis of trust, respect, loyalty, love, and what not. Even then, a person needs to understand that others will only value them if they will show respect to themselves.
The importance of being valued is measured by one’s self-worth, the choices they make, and by those words and actions live life as anticipated, without expectation for reward, when you live selflessly, you wind up with more than you dreamed of, a better version of yourself is on its way, so long as you believe in yourself, you are capable of achieving your goals in life. Its not easy to be understood by people quickly, sometimes we fall through the cracks of compassion, and other times, we assume that others know what we are thinking when they are mostly concerned with themselves and possibly your judgments of them, not necessarily thinking about your insecurities in life, we all have insecurities and things about ourselves we are not proud of, less than perfect. When you start living out a healthier and happier life, everyone around you benefits from that positivity you are able to achieve in your life, life is not a one man sport, most times it’s a team effort to get us back on track, know your allies in life, and trust their wits about them, you don’t always know best, that is experience talking, those comfortable with themselves and who make others comfortable with themselves around them, that’s trust.To whom do we entrust our hearts with? Most activities in life, are not thoughtless or mindless, but do not require heart work, just a positive mind and attitude about things, gets you most of the way home.The majority of the people don’t understand the main concept behind being valued, and often indulge into toxic relationships which cause disruptions in their lives. Not just that, but such relationships are the root cause of getting disrespected by the people who take us for granted. This way you lose the sense or feeling of being valued which is only experienced by the ones who have been the victims of such emotional and mental traumatic relationships. Such victims are usually stuck in the past, and have a hard time recovering from their traumatic past mistakes.
If you have been victimized in a demonizing manner and need to recover from your past, then you have to start off by loving and valuing yourself. You can’t really go backwards in life and contemplate your existence over the things which are out of your control now. By giving importance to yourself and putting yourself first, you will be doing justice to yourself. Not only that, but this will be in your best interest and you will then be more focused on moving forward in life. Once you will put yourself first, you will be able to arrive on good terms with others around you who will then see you as a respected individual of the society.
When you put yourself before others, you automatically show that you care about your mental and physical health. When you care for yourself, you indirectly bring a positive change in your life. In order to help yourself and others, you have to start taking care of yourself. Most importantly, no one can do that for you and value you unconditionally until and unless they are benefitting from you in some way. Until you care well for yourself, will others pay attention to your wellness, that’s a given, not calling attention to your weaknesses in life, as negative. Usually when we are feeling negative that’s a result of some unhappiness within ourselves, not to be taken out on others, for affirmation or to regain positive momentum, it usually gets lost in the thick of things, turning into argument, not solution, and getting the best of ourselves, trying. When others cannot make you happy, learn how to make yourself happy on your own, if what you seek is acceptance from others, then expect less first and foremost -lower your bar in life.
You need to understand that the best focal points and points of reference should be built from your memory, thinking about the people, things, and places which make you feel good about yourself. What we recall best, should be our happy moments in life, and if in the reverse, means you have some cleaning up to do … on a self-care basis, regroup on your own first before trying to understand the responses of others as toward you, when you know yourself, it will require less effort on your part for others to get to know you, whether you are having a good day or not. This is the sole right of an individual to think well for themselves, not always to speak their mind in the face of adversity, as nobody else will do that for them. When you’re on your own you’re on you’re own in life, don’t expect others to speak up for you or on your behalf defend your best interests. You are always responsible for the life you lead not necessarily how others treat you, and the amount of respect they show toward your efforts for interpretation, only matter so long as you allow it to bother you, that is wondering what other people are thinking about you, it should not matter in the grand scheme of things.No matter what the circumstances are, you need to figure out the factors which will help you succeed in your goals and make you a much better person. Valuing yourself and being valued in return is what you need to move forward in life. Additionally, try your best not to create a future based on the past as it will get you nowhere.
A person becomes mature with time, right after experiencing certain shifts in life. This change in the maturity level is supposed to happen when they start learning from their past mistakes. This in return helps them in their personal growth, and develop their personality accordingly. Right after the time they reach the growth phase, they get to know about their value in their own eyes and in the society. Once a person gets to know where they stand at, they will either get motivated by that or take it as a sign of discouragement. For a better insight into this, you need to learn different ways to learn, appreciate, and value yourself for who you really are, so that others will do the same. Don’t forget, that a man of value isalways favored among others.
The most important thing you will learn in order to survive will be the benefitting nature of valuing yourself over others. People often demoralize or devalue you whether knowingly or unknowingly, and that usually happens when you let go of yourself. People are important … but the time you invest to caring for yourself, will make all the difference upon presentation to others, of your present value, you have to fit the mold not just feel good inside, positivity can be expressed in many ways, the best way to show happiness is not by laughter or merriment, in conjunction with the responses made by others, but by what time you value more, your work ethic or acceptance. Loving and appreciating yourself before you do the same for someone else is necessary to advance in the future. Happiness is a product of acceptance from others, that always matters … who values you, when you matter to your life, you will matter to the lives of others.
The moment you start loving and appreciating yourself, you will see a positive change in your life which you must be oblivious to in the past. With the help of this change, you will get to know more about yourself, including the strengths, weaknesses, talents, goals, and vision of yours. A person who knows what they want and how they will become happy in the future, is a person of value and will surely get valued in return.
The moment you start investing on yourself, you find out the solutions to many problems that you have faced in the past. This is usually reflected in the love and appreciation you show for yourself. Valuing yourself not only helps in recovering from your past but also gives a positive boost to your self-esteem. When you have a good self-esteem, you will be able to achieve all of your goals in life. Focusing on yourself by constantly reminding that you are worthy to be respected by the community is something which can be made possible if you put your mind to it.
Always remember that only you have the right authority to make amendments in your life which is unlikely to happen if you are dependent on others. Making unnecessary connections with people who don’t appreciate you enough is more like giving them the power to exploit you in any way possible. Furthermore, try to identify those connections which will value you and your fundamental principles as this will help in the future guidance of your decision-making skills.
When you become dependent on others, you indirectly engage in many unhealthy attachments. One should be independent of others to build healthier relationships and grow in life. Doubting your true potential and believing that you aren’t worthy of anyone’s love and appreciation often works like slow poison. It is more like giving someone else your house keys, and permitting them to invade your privacy whenever they want to. Having a firm hold on your personal instincts, and working on grooming yourself will let you find out the hidden talents of yours. The moment you will realize the things you are impeccable at, you will become more confident to accept challenges in life. This way your self-worth will be identified and before you know it, you will be progressing into the future without asking for the love and support from anybody else. When others will notice how happy you are without them, they will try to get into your life to find out the secret behind your success and happiness. This way, you will know that others have begun to value you as well.
When you don’t appreciate yourself enough and the things around you, that’s how you know you are not satisfying your self-worth. Having a mindset like this is never a healthy option and one should always achieve a balanced view towards life.
Another important thing which should be kept in mind is the importance of self-care. Self-care comprises of having the ability to accept all the flaws of yours and having the confidence to show yourself the utmost love and appreciation to become better. Caring for yourself will give out the impression that your put yourself over others and will continue to do so regardless of what people assume about you. This will also put forward your confident personality to others, who will understand that you will never compromise on making yourself happy and successful. In this way, you will let others know how to treat you in the future. Not only that, but maintaining a sense of self in spite of what others think of you, will help you to manage emotions associated with responding to those who intimidate you or who’s presence offends you, humor is not always the way out. To avoid competition for respect and admiration of others, as most knowledgeable of circumstances surrounding you, you must do more than just turn on the TV, you have to listen.The less you listen, the more you miss out on in life, every thought counts just as much as people do. To eliminate any self-doubts you have and will give you a control over your life. This will also let you focus on what matters most to make you full of life and achieve happiness and that is, your own self, absent what others think of you.
To know your true worth is not always based upon a mutual understanding of facts, nor by people who live similar lives, or by knowing the same information. Your self-worth is measured by your hard work and effort toward achieving your goals in life, have some compassion for yourself, and when in the vent of loss, self-destruction is not the solution to your problems and communicates less about you, than could otherwise be communicated to through writing. What’s on the inside counts, but more importantly what’s communicated either hurts, inhibits, or fosters relationships with others, don’t leave others in disgust by being in poor taste. Know your limits in life, socially, and with time comfort can be achieved. Sometimes knowing your true worth, means staying away from people who are disrespectful towards you, it be a difficult bridge to overcome -forgiveness, don’t a lot too much time to pass, without speaking as to the positives in your life, understand that everyone has problems, even bullies, and if provoked will turn on you and instigate drama in your life to make you feel like they feel, lost.
Never undervalue yourself in order to make others feel good about themselves. This takes time to realize how to lift yourself up without having the fear of the consequences in the future. Try your best to be a rock and fight the problems life throws your way in a firm manner. As a result, this will help you stand and stay afloat in life.
Giving someone the control over your life is similar to wasting your own time and letting others ruin you over whenever they would feel like. When you can spend your precious time in a better way and put in efforts in your personality development, then why are you letting others take a hold of you? Knowing your true worth is the key to eternal happiness and positivity as you will be less exploited by people who are selfish and will not think twice before causing trouble in your life. Do not give anyone the upper hand by allowing them to misuse you, debilitate, reject you or devalue you in any way.
Once others will see how much you care less about your own self, they will try to find out ways to hurt you or devalue you. This is usually witnessed by people who put blind trust in their loved ones who know all of their weaknesses. Giving someone the power to mistreat you so that they hit on your weak points is more like being unfair to yourself. You need to understand the fact that not everyone should be trusted and valued in the same way. People differ and some of them might even be good to you but that’s going to happen only when they find out that you are doing so well without them. When they come to terms with the fact that you don’t need them or their help anymore, they get worried and start finding excuses to get closer to you like they were in the past. It usually happens when people are habitual of being dominant over you and make up their minds that you will never be able to progress without them.
So next time, if someone tries to demoralize you or underestimate your worth, let them know with your actions and behavior that you are far better without them and don’t need any type of negativity back in your life. You only have one life to live, include those who care, whether or not you are accepting of their opinions in life, sometimes we do not know it all.
People may underestimate you, when you have not achieved what is deemed required to be heard, and often times proving ourselves not others wrong is the best avenue forward without being too defensive and allowing others to prey upon our weaknesses in life, be put down. If you allow so, others may misuse you in order to prove that you aren’t good enough to get valued, or deserve to be where you are in life, at an imposition, not representative of your education and background, an embarrassment, by speech and title and career choices, misjudged as purposeful or thoroughly planned as communicating a strategy, I have none. This is the reason why you have to be careful when “dealing” with those who take personally your achievements in life, as though you have not experienced hardship yourself, or deserve to suffer from whatever consequences have resulted from your decision making skills past, you cannot advise those who do not communicate well toward you, they will never listen, don’t expect them to listen to you, especially when you are not well, you must be well in order to be well received. You have to learn how to be understanding of others, if you wish to be understood, we all endure our own hardships in life, and suffer from the negative judgments made by others, this when communicated through our dispositions, is how we get treated in return, and to the defense of others, not by what they say about you, get treated as such. By knowing what to say, how to say, and when to say, you can avoid much miscommunications in life, especially by third parties.
When I was small, I always doubted my capabilities and thought that I will never be able to compete with others, be it in my studies or other fields in life. This type of contaminated thinking got to the point that I stopped taking proper care of myself and that’s when all the trouble started. Majority of the people don’t understand the value of trusting themselves and thinking good about their existence. Does it make sense to you that a person who doesn’t care enough about their own well-being would be loved and cherished by others without a purpose? Yes, there are a bunch of selfless people out there who don’t hesitate from putting others before themselves but the chances of meeting them are very rare.
This is the reason why we should know our worth, as every single human being is amazing and beautiful in their own way. Every person out there is born with hidden talents which are yet to be explored. People who get to know about their true worth within a short period of time are more fortunate than the ones who don’t recognize what they are worth for. This happens because the ones who know about their true potential don’t ever dwell in their past and remain focused on moving forward in life one way or another. However, those people who remain unaware of what they are capable of get surrounded by insecurities, and lack of confidence which eventually eats them up from inside. Not just that, but such people disregard their self-worth and give an open invitation to other people to devalue and exploit them as much as they can. Hence proven, this is the most destructive a person can be towards their own life.
Whenever you feel lost or incapable to cope up with the society, remind yourself about the good things you inherit which are an inseparable from you. Remind yourself that worthiness is not dependent on the way others see, love, appreciate, or value you. Know that you do not depend on others but they are the ones who should seek your advice whenever they feel lost in life. This is how you will get respected. Moreover, others will start valuing you and your advices after they will notice a significant change in your behavior and attitude towards life.
Nobody is perfect but you can come close to perfection as soon as you will realize your true worth. Within no time, things will start making sense to you and you will value yourself over others. In addition to that, you will decide not to settle for anything less than you deserve and you will find out where your standards lie. Everybody go through that phase in life where they get treated like trash, but only few have the strength to know their true worth and recover from their toxic past. Knowing your worth gives you the right direction in life. So, stop letting others treat you in a demoralizing way and stand up for yourself before it gets too late. Don’t ever let others decide how they should be treating you, and stop tolerating the injustice being done to you. That’s the real beauty of giving yourself more value as you will be more demanding and open towards finding happiness in your life which you truly deserve.
The moment you will stop blaming your past for your distressed present, you will be able to have better control over your life. In this way, you will become a good decision maker and that is how one is supposed to stay on the right track.
As soon as you start incorporating healthier changes in your life, you will get happier with every passing day because you will have full control over your happiness and sadness. With the passage of time, it will become evident that the things you have achieved so far were possible to achieve because you put your mind to it, and found out that you were capable to achieve those goals. Such actions of yours speak up for you, and there will come a time when you will not need to prove your worthiness to others or ask them to value you in return. There will come a time when your actions will prove what you always have been competent to do. Such a change in your behavioral patterns will be witnessed when you will put yourself out there and become responsible for the success of your future. The more you will work on yourself, the easier it would be for you to get respected by others in a way you never ever thought of. As a consequence to your actions, they will truly love and appreciate you for who you were and what have you become in a small period of time.
This is the kind of risk every person should be taking since you are doing good to yourself and the society you are living in. When you will see the results in the end, you will know that every step you took towards improving yourself was worth it. By putting yourself out there and prohibiting yourself from depending on others to get happy in life, you will find out that who are worthy enough to stay in your life and who are the ones you should get rid of as soon as possible. You will know if you are with the right people or not. This is the power of finding value in life, so you see the unseen before your past takes a toll over your life. Your past mistakes can be difficult to overcome but you need to remember that you have the power over your mind, and you are able to control your faulty cognitions. Once again, I will advise you not to fall for a trap placed by the people who only value you for their self-interest, and will abandon you as soon as any small adversity hits your life. So, make decisions wisely as you cannot possibly place your future and eternal happiness in the hands of others, and giving them the authority to ruin you over whenever they can.
How you behave towards different challenges in life solves a lot of problems which might have caused trouble for you in the future. Learning to value yourself is the greatest lesson of all times and by embracing your true worth, this will encourage you to accept new challenges in life, beyond acceptance and admiration from those who feel trust has been lost because identity has been changed by circumstances … I’m not Gay.
Chapter 3: (See First Entry)
“Whenever we try to move forward in life, we backtrack and review ourselves. We analyze our strengths, weaknesses, and work on improving the image of ourselves. Life is all about perfection and how we treat ourselves will let others know to treat us in the same way. If we won’t go backwards and make amends by eliminating our past mistakes, then we put ourselves at risk of harsh and unnecessary scrutiny.”
It is how we present ourselves matters the most, like our self-confidence, self-esteem, basic etiquettes, behavioral adaptation, you name it. Living in the past is never going to be of any help for any human being, whether a teenage or an adult. If you really wish to succeed in life, you have to get over your past and overcome your fears and anxiety. Don’t let your past mistakes take a hold of your future because this world is advancing day by day and it wouldn’t think twice to wait on you. Be dependent upon choices that build your self-esteem not mistakes in life, perfecting what’s been broken. You know yourself best, its to what we are doing right in life, that usually sets us back on course in life. Easier said than done, but don’t give someone else the power on you, your dreams or goals. Continuous overthinking about your past will only make you worry more about the things you have lost control over and you need to realize that the mistakes you’ve made, intentionally or unintentionally, cannot be undone. So make sure you prioritize your mental health and safety over other things if you want to move forward in life.
“You have to tell yourself more than once about turning your hopes and dreams into reality. You cannot live life like this if you set you expect too much from life but never really giving life anything in return. Because if you won’t live up to those expectations, you will eventually disappoint yourself. You cannot set standards for yourself that are too high because that’s how you are likely to fail. Also, you cannot go backwards in life, whether you like it or not but you have to move forward in life anyhow.”
You cannot make your life better if you do not even like yourself and sometimes you have to let go of your mistakes and regrets. You cannot blame your mental health, like depression or anxiety over the mistakes you have made in the past and you can only repair yourself if you get rid of the negative and faulty cognitions about your past, present, and future. There is nothing you can do once you feelings get hurt but forgiveness is that quality that will help you in achieving the impossible. The more you let yourself down in life, the more difficult it becomes to rise to the occasion of well in future. So don’t indulge yourself in becoming a pessimist and just accept yourself the way you are. Always remember that you have to listen to yourself if you want to progress further in life.
“We are always told to let things be the way they are. Why? Usually because, when things become too tough to handle, we are told to leave things alone and get on with life. To me, leaving things alone means to let the dust settle or to walk away from what’s been bothering me. What we need to do is deal with our difficulties in a proper manner to become stronger mentally and physically. If something is not in your best interests to continue, don’t just walk away like other people do when faced with difficulties or challenging tasks.”
Your hard work and determination towards the betterment of your future define your ability to succeed in life. Sometimes you have to get back on the horse that bucked you, because this is how you will learn the true essence of perseverance and power of resilience. Your resilience power is one of the basic tools to achieve success in future. Ask yourself, when was the first time you failed and how did you deal with it? Did you get offend by the criticism you faced and how did you handle the negative comments? Did you learn to get over it as soon as possible or did you give up? If you gave up on your life only because of your past failures and mistakes, then you are one step away to a destructive life. How you deal with negative criticism and failure show your potential and capability to become successful in future. No matter how much you will try to become a better version of yourself, people will try to hate on you or become envious of your hard work. Don’t forget, people hate on you because they secretly wish to be you and you should avoid falling victim to the abhorrence thrown your way.
“If we focus too much on the negative comments of other people and keep harping on it, then soon will come a time when we will become negative and would treat others the same way. If we focus on what’s positive, then we will become positive. Never underestimate the power you hold within yourself, the power to undo what is negative in your life and turn it around to achieve success. If you will continue taking things personally to your heart, you will never become happy and successful.”
Anything negative from your past, any failure or mistake, will haunt you in the present as well, only if you will allow it to. Getting over your troubling past life is something which is very important to move forward in life. Like I said earlier, being happy and satisfied with yourself give you the opportunity to make your present and future better for you. When a person is optimistic about what’s life going to bring next, they reach out to those opportunities and try their best to avail it. Always remember, change begins from you, how you perceive things and behave accordingly tells a lot about what will become of your future. Analyze if your current life is satisfying enough to continue in the same way or is it taking you down the road of discontent from where there’s no turning back. Your lifestyle, relationship with friends and family members, career goals or aspirations, emotional stability, self-regard, and many other personal factors contribute to your personal satisfaction with the future. Change is inevitable and one day your life will change in a good or bad way, however it is completely up to you which direction to choose when these inevitable changes knock on your door.
“You are a product of the choices you make in life that determine where you would end up in life. We realize what’s better or worse for our future only when we experience its consequences. Sometimes we have to work on ourselves and correct problems, while at other times we fall through the cracks of the mistakes we’ve made and end up behind in life. You are not supposed to blame others for your wrong decisions because the minute you start pointing fingers at others, you become no less than your haters. You get nowhere in life fighting and blaming others for your misfortunes. The only one who has the power to change you is yourself. Not just that, but you only earn something in life if you continue to work hard for it. This is how the energy you throw out into the world gets thrown back at you so always do your best to appear well in the future buy changing yourself.”
Work towards your passion and try to accomplish extraordinary things, engage yourself in activities that will make you happier as happiness comes before success. If you are not happy with your life, you will lose direction, self-worth and nothing will mean anything to you. We live in a world where majority of the people would love to see you depressed and anxious, they will love to see you in pain, in agony. People would love to see that happen but it should not bother you, what they think about you should not trouble you because sooner or later you will hit that point in your life where your haters will outnumber the people who love you. I don’t think there is a single person alive who doesn’t have any real-life problems, even the people who look happiest hold pain in their hearts but what makes them happy is the way they cope up with their stress and problems mentally and physically. As long as you know where you are going in your life, you will never get lost in the atrocious remarks of your haters. No wonder life can hit you hard sometimes, but you do not need to collapse when that happens, after all with hardship comes ease.
“To move forward in life, you should never become dependent on others for love and admiration. How you play your cards in life and where you end up in life is totally up to you. Don’t fret about the small stuff in life and try to focus on the bigger picture. If you’re not where you need to be in order to become happier then think about the things that will make you happier in life. Try to refrain yourself from getting too caught up in the delusion of unhappiness and don’t lock yourself into unhappy or unwanted thoughts. Don’t ever let anyone bring you down in life, after all it is just a matter of time and things will get better with the passage of time.”
No matter how hard you get hit, it all comes down to the strength of keep moving forward –it comes down to the determination and perseverance to continue with your life in spite of all the hurdles or obstacles. Your mistakes and failures don’t define what you are right now, they only make your realize what you were before and how much you have changed since then. You need to understand that nobody is perfect or flawless and everyone makes mistakes with their career choices, relationships, and love life. Keep moving forward and give yourself a break by forgiving your past self. You are the sole decision maker of your life and by forgiving yourself, you respond to the negativity in ways that it never gets the best of you.
I know how it feels when you cannot explain what you feel most of the time, I can also relate to how lifeless and worthless you feel when you see others succeeding at things you were supposed at. Just to get rid of anxiety and depression, people engage in self-destructive activities just like the way I got addicted to drugs and alcohol. Trust me, things didn’t get any better when I chose that path in my life, they only got worse to handle and my sufferings increased with the passage of time. People who have been through phases like these couldn’t relate more to what I felt when I was going through severe form of depression. The hardest part was the recovery phase where I had to invest myself mentally, emotionally, and physically in an attempt to move forward and make something good out of my life. Life’s been better since I motivated myself to change my lifestyle and negative attitude towards dealing with my personal and professional problems.
Your values and beliefs should be more important to you than what others advise you to do in order to become better. Cherish yourself and embrace your beautiful life by surrounding yourself with positive vibes and people who support you and will never stop loving you. Sometimes, what will make you happy and drive you to move forward in life wouldn’t be a motivating factor for others to survive. How you portray yourself to the outside world shouldn’t be limited to only adjusting with the social norms of the society. If you like poetry and would want to do something where this passion of yours will be utilized then go for it no matter what opinions the world projects on you. After all, the least you could do to make yourself happy is by caring less about what others think of your passion. How others see you is something that you cannot control but what you personally feel about yourself is something within your control.
“In the grand scheme of things, how you will be viewed and judged will be a matter of principles based, not on gusto or energy, but on your personality, nature, and moral values.”
Overall, how you will be perceived by others is only based on the judgments of others, which are liable to change from a positive perspective to a much more negative one. Try to know your worth and avoid falling into the trap of judgmental views of people who don’t even care if you progress in life or not. You are worthy of attention of those people who love you and wouldn’t hesitate to appreciate you whenever possible. Even if you feel lonely sometimes, just know that good days are coming when your friends and family members will feel proud of you and will never leave your side.
What I am trying to say here is to never let hopelessness take a toll on you because hope gives us strength and motivates us to move forward in life. It is the hope of having a better life that drives us towards our goals and dreams by making us realize that we deserve the best of everything. This is how you will reach self-acceptance where succeeding in life will get easier day by day. Never forget that you are worthy to fulfil the truest desires of your heart and this will help you to move forward.
It is not necessary that what matters to you would matter to others as well, maybe what you don’t value is respected by others. This clearly doesn’t mean that you or your ideas don’t matter at all but to make other respect your point of views you need to step up and take the charge on your life. With determination and hard work you too can make a difference in your lifestyle and the lives of others as well. It is all a matter of manifestation and willingness to learn and try to always do your best
One thing that will force you to keep moving forward in life is your personality trait of acting like a mature, sensible, and responsible person. People who don’t take responsibility of their doings will never be able to improve the quality and condition of their lives. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that your career goals, relationships, and happiness are all interconnected and under your direct control. People become careless and irresponsible only because they don’t want to burden themselves and it is less painful that way. But in order to achieve something, you have to put in efforts and need to understand that life is not a piece of cake. In fact, trying to change your life is a decision that will activate your inner wisdom which will motivate you to stop living a toxic life and shift your focus to future prospects of success and happiness.
Now it is all up to you to step out of your comfort zone and plan your future as soon as possible. You can do this by listing down activities and relationships that make you feel miserable about yourself, pen down what and where you want to go in life and how will you manage to achieve your goals. Never turn your back to your visions and spirit because these are your motivators in life. I have experienced how it feels when you don’t have a vision in your life. I have spent months feeling miserable about my existence because I couldn’t stop myself from overthinking about how less I have contributed to the society. But when you have a vision or goal, you somehow figure out what choice to make to keep moving forward.
“You are always in control of your life and you are a product of the decisions and choices you make in life. It is no one’s business to interfere in your life without any reason but people do that just to annoy you and when your life gets effected by the views of others, you get distracted from turning to the right path. Keep yourself busy by being proactive so that you will have less time to socialize with useless people who have nothing else to do than interfere in other people’s lives.”
When people will see you progressing they will realize your true worth and that way you will make yourself proud. Always remember, taking things literally by being resentful about it is only going to water your time and energy so try not to take anything too personally. The person you have to trust the most is your own self, open your heart to negative as well as positive criticism by trusting that everything happens for a reason, to make you learn from your mistakes. Either way, never become demotivated with your past experiences and know that whatever happened will only make you stronger and more mature and this way you will get one step closer to your successful lives. If you’ll think of your life experiences as lessons that will turn you into a better human being, then you will be able to accept challenges with a smile on your face. Aren’t you familiar with the phrase “No pain, no gain”? if not then you will relate to it once you put your life together as you will learn that playing it safe will get you nowhere in life. People often prefer the easier way because they fear taking risks in life, I mean, how are you supposed to move forward in life when you fear the consequences of taking the next step? If you won’t give it a try, how will you know what opportunities await for you?
Life should be balanced with timeless efforts and dedication to reach your full potential so try to find the right balance in life. If the right amount of commitment is lacking from your life, then try to deliver your best in order to advance to a better life. However, one should work on areas where they lack and this way they will be able to improve their lives. If what you are doing right now is contributing to your success in any way then invest in it and make the best out of it, because this way you are doing everything you need to make yourself happier.
You can do anything you want to if you put your mind to it, just don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Don’t give people the right to throw tantrums at you whenever they want to and tell you that you're not even near to perfection. According to me, you are doing amazing and there is no doubt that one day when you will look back to your old-self, you will know how much you have matured in every aspect of life.
Sometimes being open to others has its set backs, when our vulnerabilities are exposed, it is by those weaknesses in character we are judged. Some circumstances in life can cause us to tred thin waters, opening yourself up to others, runs the consequence of not finding yourself but basing your wellness on acceptance from others. Availing yourself to possibilities in life does not mean you need to do better than only to achieve your best self, given the circumstances, make good decisions in life and good will follow from those good decisions in life. Finding a sense of peace, when you are disturbed by events surrounding you, can cause one to question, always keep things in the positive, realizing your true worth and potential; following your passions in life can sometimes lead you astray discipline is important to achievement in life; love and acceptance is by wellness, wellness of good character and from those responsibilities we take on in life, judgements are made of us. Personality is complicated from what exposures in life do we come to be, most likely positive examples by those who are doing well in life, usually lead those among, these are lessons we learn overtime, by experience.
Remembering where you come from, and from what realities in life you see fit, is how you will be judged, whether for positive purposes in life you make decisions or whether based upon furtherance of an agenda to communicate power and privilege which stems from some place negative, from which gets assumed as the basis for decision making or motives in life. Only from a positive place can progress be made, never for purposes selfish or motivated by acceptance or explanation of a position do people generally follow. It is by wellness you achieve in life, and from those well decisions and rights in life you either move forward or get left behind, set back. Always know your roles and responsibilities in life, not for the sake of argument be judged or make moves in life forward or away from problems you deem relevant. Its by recommendation positions are taken in life, and by those persons held to positions of trust connections made in accordance with what is deemed of essence and a worthwhile effort to stand against, violence in general. By experience you can help others when well, and once you fail to achieve to the skill level required or demanded by persons of trust, its difficult to manage professionally in any setting you are not fit for, act. When you acknowledge your gifts in life, and from what privileges in life you are able to achieve, you remember less the negative, and focus more on what you do have and from those positives can offer assistance to others, who may or may not have achieved a well sense of being, that’s called learning from best examples in life, not motivated by who you know, but by what you know, is intelligence determined as deserved.
To build a strong personality, one needs to go through several psychological phases or stages. These psychological phases have major effects on our social and natural upbringing, which in turn transform us into a much better human.
As human, we are vulnerable to make mistakes but what I am pointing out here is not to “repeat” those mistakes but to learn from them for a better future. To get into the depth of these transformations towards a better future, I will share some of my most important, inspirational quotes. These quotes will provide you guidelines on how to overcome your fears, find your true-self and learn from your past mistakes.
“What you allow will continue to occur if you let it. The cycle of abuse always begins with you. Never blame yourself for your past mistakes. Always get help or talk to a professional to create positive outcomes in the future for yourself and those you care about. Sometimes people who we trust let us down in life. Not everyone can be trusted, trust yourself first, and everything else will fall into its place.”
It’s basic human psychology to learn the importance of a particular individual or something after we lose it. We often value things which are not with us anymore, because then we realize how useful that thing was in our lives. Similarly, when you lose the companionship of a person in your life, you realize how caring and loving they were towards you. Losing a loved one or a family member, missing out on an opportunity to attend your favorite concert because you may not have enough money anymore, are examples of things that you may have taken for granted previously. As a sensible human being, we need to accept ourselves just the way we are and to compromise when it is needed the most. I am not asking you to stop thinking about fulfilling your desires; but all I am asking you to do is find where your passion lies and work out a proper plan to achieve your goal.
“Whenever you experience any type of loss, the only thing you can do is move forward. What is lost just wrecks havoc in the mind, body, and spirit of your future endeavors. Always work with what you've got and be grateful for what you have in life. No loss is worth to keep on suffering for. It takes time to rebuild self after any loss. What you should do in the present is to keep on moving forward which is important to determine what is to be preserved, taken, valued, dismembered, and lost.”
One should stop living in the past and not overthink about how life has been unfair to them. Instead of worrying about your losses, worry about what life will bring to you on the table in the future. However, life simply does not grant you that menu on a silver platter; instead, you have to earn it. You earn a better life by working towards finding your true-self and where your interests lie. Not only would help you get new achievements, but will also help you overcome from repeating mistakes. This is how you will know about your strengths and weaknesses. Furthermore, it will help you to understand that how you should work around your weaknesses and instead bring out the best of your strengths.
We need to incorporate the strategy of forgiving, forgetting and holding on to the past mistakes. One should never underestimate the power of forgiveness, because when we forgive we move our inner selves for a better life. Here is a personal mantra that I devised for myself and the people to take inspiration from:
“Never underestimate the power of forgiveness. Always behave well and have good communication with others. Do not be an angry or disgruntled person. In order to do something good in life, you have to aim for wellness in life. Do not have paranoia or feel bad about your past because either way, you are just being hard on yourself. Always be thankful for what you have in life. Always be prepared for whatever gets thrown your way in life. Even if you're not happy with your life, you still need to move forward. This is called making a compromise. Never let negativity get the best of you.”
Most of the times, things don’t work out according to how we plan it. Life is actually a mystery that we unfold gradually. It reveals what it has in store for us with the passage of time, and it would never grant us all the gifts all at once. Even if you are not happy or satisfied with your life, your motivation should be as such, that it persuades us to move on and unleash the true gifts of life. Holding on to fears and anxiety of not being good enough may eventually kill your confidence. Sometimes, we need to accept challenges and failures as they come. We need to stay motivated to focus on our challenges rather than the failures. This motivation shows us our capability of how well we can handle things in life.
“It is your motivation in life that defines you. No single hardship could ever be the cause for success but only failure. Failures do not succeed but only gets embarrassments in life. Be wary of who you choose to be in life, and be wary of what sides you choose to hold on to. Peaceful minds make the best decisions in life. I am a very safe driver; I am someone to be trusted, a Good Samaritan. There are times to be thoughtful of others, and there are times to think about your own self.
One thing to prioritize for yourself here is to become communicable and easily approachable. A humble and kind personality attracts less hatred from the society. In fact, it helps in strengthening the relationships around you. Another priority is to carve out a healthy routine for a better lifestyle. Adopting habits like exercising, meditating, and creating a positive environment around you are all traits of a good life. Recognizing the fact and then accepting that you are lost in the journey of life is a mental challenge itself. If a person cannot comprehend where his/her life is going and what is about to happen next, then there is a possibility that he/she may not be able to resolve that problem.
We have seen many people around us who fails to function well in society because they are not able to recognize they are lost in life. They do not blend in with people because they thin of them as different. When that happens they indulge themselves in self-destructing activities.
People become suicidal and get attached to toxic activities like drinking excessively, doing drugs and inflicting self-harm. I’m not ashamed that I have bipolar, but these are just excuses for living a normal life, being avoidant doesn’t get you far in life, and you wind up ruining more relationships to silent treatment than anticipated, had you just stayed sober, and not self-medicated. This further deteriorates the psychological condition of an individual. We have seen a lot of cases of personality disorders like depression, anxiety, insomnia and eating disorders, but never think we have the capability of experiencing these circumstances ourselves, and when these times do arise, get the help we need. This is what I say to myself at the moments when I am feeling lost and confused:
“When you’re obviously not happy in life it is easy to give up on yourself. Never lose hope. No foundation built was ever built in a day and no dream ever came true just after one try. Mostly, it takes many tries in life to get yourself up once you fall down and are heartbroken. It is just a feeling of being worthless in life but things will always turn out for the better once you take a step back into life and leave your past behind you. Never let any rejection weigh you down to the extent that it causes unreasonable hardship to your sense of self, esteem, and ability to achieve success. Everyone deserves an opportunity to have a life, a nice job, friends, and relationships. Everything depends on how well you manage yourself in the end.”
A person goes through several stages when they realize they are lost. The first stage happens to be grief; grief of not being good enough, grief of being a disappointment etc. It is very difficult for many people to recover from this phase easily because at this point in time, they are surrounded by negative thoughts. Then comes anger and frustration about not overcoming the grief of being lost. Here a person spoils themselves by making a fuss of the failures and mistakes made in the past.
As mentioned above, there are many ways to exploit the personality of an individual. For instance, excessive use of alcohol, doing drugs, not sleeping enough, abusing others, engaging themselves in violent activities etc. All of these actions are a byproduct of you suffering through negative emotions. Whenever I am suffering having negativity in life. I follow the rule, which not only helps me become better in life, but also helps others achieve more positive thoughts in life.
“In life you need no congratulations for good deeds served. No heroic efforts are enough if hardly rewarded for self-esteem boost. Do have pride in what you do but never to the extent that you lose composure or yourself during the process of helping others. This is not the answer to your difficulties but a problem itself. The answer to your hardships is not through the sharing of more problems. It is what you do now is all that matters. You can't move backwards in time and fix errors, you can only move forwards and become a better person. This is how you will improve and help others as well. Always be optimistic in life.”
The way that we think is completely in our control, and we should be able to control our thoughts and emotions if we really want to let go of the grief, anger and anxiety. No one wants to get blamed for making mistakes. It is harder to get over your mistakes and start working towards the betterment of your life. This need self-realization, which is not something easy to understand.
When you put yourself first and your problems later, you analyze ways to get rid of the problem. Problems may never leave your side but what you need to work on is to find the right solutions. Ask yourself what makes you truly happy and satisfied. For instance, your problem is that you cannot fully focus on the things around you. The solution to this problem would be to concentrate on taking burden of doing that, which your shoulders can bear the burden of.
Sooner or later, you will make your way out of doing things in a better way. This is how a person realizes their true worth which increases with the passage of time and experience.
“The solution is never to pick yourself apart at your own expense. You are all you've got. Self-harm willingly never makes sense. Never knowingly put yourself at risk. You live and you learn in life about how to behave properly. What you know about yourself will dictate how you should react and respond to others. Always consider the thoughts and feelings of others, and know what your strengths and weaknesses are. Never respond negatively to others. This will only make you look bad.”
Self-realization is the only path towards finding your true-self. Make peace with yourself and what happened in the past has now gone and always look ahead of what is a new challenge for you in the near future. There are people who instead of accepting their own fault, blame others for the misfortunes that they have. These people never hold themselves responsible for any mistake they make. Blaming other people or circumstances for your mistakes will only make you come across as irresponsible and people will stop respecting you.
However, being stuck in the past is the only reason why people sometimes lose their sense of self in the first place. As I always say,
“What matters to you may not matter to everyone, especially those looking for faults in you. Always stay positive, be there for others but do not worry about what others fixate on you. Learn how to avoid hatred and live freely. It usually happens when you are going to quit something that is the time when you have to go ahead. Let no one keep you down in life. Always try your best, and focus on what's important to you, do not pay attention to what other people say about you. Always have a life of your own in order to stay focused to your goals. Always set goals for yourself. Daily, weekly, and monthly to help you get back on track and stay on track in life. Nothing achieved well-earned ever happens accidentally. We usually have to try, try our best and work hard. Don't beat yourself up if you're not perfect and if those around you are not happy from your progress. Always be understanding that how people treat you is a manifestation of themselves, reflective of how they feel whether towards you or towards themselves. Don't let anyone affect you. What other people think or say should not matter so much as for you to take anything too personally whether directed at you or not.”
I will further incorporate another quote of mine which helps me realize how I need to take care of things. This quote has helped me in life and I definitely feel that it would help you all in life to achieve more positivity in life.
“Not everything is about you in life. Then and until then will you realize your own self-worth. Part of staying level headed is about feeling good for yourself and others, do well always. Even if you're not happy in life, sometimes you still need to move forward. That's called making a compromise. Never let negativity get the best of you. You won't always like what people have to say about you but that doesn't mean to quit and give up on life, it only means that maybe you need to regroup and figure out what's more important to you in life. Always care for others.”
It takes courage to accept your flaws and weaknesses. This ability to accept your flawed self is known as self-acceptance, which is another step to find your true worth. To know what you are capable of, you need to identify both negative and positive aspects as a part of yourself. After the acceptance phase you can focus on your positive characteristics by applying them towards our goals and work on thinking ways to lessen any future occurrences of our weaknesses.
“Never let yourself go and never compare yourself to others. Always be thankful for where you are in life. You can only be you. Focus on yourself instead of focusing on others. You are your own best friend in life. Always be real; never let anyone bring you down in life. Always rise above drama. Never pack your plate up with more than you can carry. Dream but not bigger than the voice you carry. Love yourself to know when to quit. Never belittle others. Lift yourself first before lifting others. You know yourself more than anyone else, always listen to those who care for you. When you're delusional wear it with a crown and be proud of yourself. We all have our shortcomings in life, it is hard to stay normal, and keep a level head on your shoulders by staying away from others. Know that success first comes from within.”
Sometimes, it gets frustrating to think of a hobby or activity that may polish up your skills and personality. We have to start with baby steps like running in a neighborhood park, painting a portrait or writing a book. After becoming productive we will realize our true potential and I do not think the world is out of opportunities to miss on.
Although, all of this processing may take time. We just need to aspire to give our best so that others can recognize the potential within us as well. Be someone who is known for their work and talents, not a person who gets blamed for being irresponsible or immature. But always keep one thing in mind, not a single person, alive or dead is perfect. For a better future, we have to work on improving ourselves and never step back from turning our dreams into reality. On which I must point out,
“Intelligence is in the eye of the beholder. Never doubt yourself. Every effort towards the betterment of yourself matters. Whether you win or lose in life, never stop trying to do well, know yourself best, and do well in life. Know that you're worth it. Always try your best no matter what. You are your own best critic in life; don't be so easily fooled by others. Follow your heart. Always be ambitious but never at your own expense. Keep yourself distanced from your problems, and your personal life separate from your professional life. Accept people as they are. Everyone you meet on a person-to-person basis knows you individually through those interactions. You cannot know everyone well, some people you know only because of your or their professions. Give it time as you settle back to a normal life and never give up. When your life flashes before your eyes, you know you've gone too backwards in life to figure out the present. Always stay focused on what's important and what matters. Do what makes you stand out in the crowd. Never lose your sense of self-worth and value. What you see is what you get. What others see in you is based upon what you put out there which eventually gets communicated back to you. Always be kind to yourself.”
All of these quotes have helped me get through life successfully. This is not to say that there have never been ups and downs in my life. Instead, it is because of these ups and downs I was able to progress in life and make myself a better person. Going through difficult times is how you would evolve and you may turn out to be the person that you had always dreamed to be. All you have to do is have a life which is full of motivation to do better and a life where you have very little negative emotions, less is more in the field of self-expression.
The most crucial time for a person to develop their personality is the phase that comes after childhood. Not that the initial years do not hold any importance in the personality growth, but what a person learns right after that molds their personality accordingly. So, my personal life was affected in different ways due to the changes in my academic and social life throughout my high school and college life. I would not say that life was fair to me but how life treated me actually made me stronger than ever and most of it happened when I was a student. It took me many years to figure out what I could do to help those who go through similar issues in life.
I learned how to deal with the uncertainty through sobriety and processing events in a way that would bring closure. Its not always necessary to know what will happen in the future. Ignoring the fear of publicity is one thing, and coming forward is another. Sometimes we face problems that not only affect our families but those closest to us. Until mature enough to understand difficulty, it is thought change we learn, not forever be disrupted in our lives but the key to overcome them would be my personal growth. Sometimes, in order to ignore the salacious rumors and contagious gossip, we are required to overcome our fears. I always tried my best to accept my past and move on by forgiving those who harmed the ones closest to me and being compassionate, no matter what happened.
There are moments in life when time freezes and it looks like that we are stuck and cannot move forward. I have personally felt that I am living a nightmare from which I cannot wake up. Don’t you feel the same when you get stuck at the moment and just wait for it to pass? Additionally, we overthink that if we did something differently, then things would not have turned out the way they did and only if we had the power to change the past, we could have been living a better life. This pessimism to realize our own powerlessness when events happen to us that we have no control over will eventually weaken us, so make sure you put an end to this.
Throughout the past few years, I have worked very hard to set myself apart from others and overcome my anxiety issues. I’ve learned to forgive those who harmed me and my loved ones, realizing that there is nothing I can do but show compassion and support, despite being hospitalized 8 times for 112 days following a suicide attempt February 2009 before attending Law School. As I continue to change through these hardships, without throwing my life away, it has become more and more clear to me that alcohol is not the solution moving forward, and leaves too much room for error, decision making wise, and with your guard down, too trusting of others, until you wake up do you realize what’s gone wrong, and by that time the damage has already been done, first things first forgive yourself, and let life happen to you not the opposite. When you are in control of your emotions, not setbacks in life, keep you feeling separate and apart from others, these are just feelings, and so is the silent treatment, be careful not to mistake one for the other, for the sake of poignancy and being honest with others, always be yourself. The less you give to others, the more you have, and the less you expect from others the more you get out of life, by being focused on yourself, while paying attention to your surroundings, but not to the extent that your surroundings take hold of your emotions, be misread, it is then you that gets criticized or sized up upon how you respond to others, that is wellness to me.
Since leaving the hospital June 2017 (28 days) I have tried to make a positive change which was much needed to remove myself from the cycle of trauma, and be proactive. When I decided to volunteer for a local crisis hotline (upon recommendation) I was only 19, Sophomore Year 2004, after two years of experience listening to those in crisis, I decided to research and compose an honors thesis while sober, having achieved a 3.8 GPA in Sociology I learned that your graduation designation is based upon your GPA and if written, an honor thesis for designation. This I thought important after having attended my Brother’s graduation, and digital camera stolen with family photos, I had left the party alone, walked back to the hotel in Boston via cell phone directions from my Brother. Since I started blogging I have discussed many sensitive issues many people become a victim of, only because I have experienced these circumstances myself, know now the best preventative measures, is non-discussion, and that being proactive is about building a new life for yourself, not by reliving the past. While defending my honor’s thesis entitled, ‘Dealing with Vicarious Trauma and Managing Emotions While Providing Advocacy to Survivors of Sexual Assault’ after having heard stories and the shared experience of trauma as discussed by others coming forward, I realized that more work is to be done, and its not by choice people meet, but by the decisions we make while avoiding trauma and tragedy which sets us apart from others, sometimes its just about luck, not necessarily the fault of those to whom trust is given, but also our responsibility to set boundaries for ourselves, that leaves less room for error upon disabling ourselves, that is drinking, never balme oneself for hardhsips, every hardship can be undone, if not reported, to alleviate the stress associated with keeping secrets. As a professional I have learned what to remember and what not to, whats to be kept in secret and whats necessary to report, this is by learning the difference between reality and personal pains, or sensitivities, that sometimes its not all in my head after being told “you did this to yourself” remember to prove others wrong, rejected or not. -I did this type of volunteering to develop a deeper understanding of the negative consequences which arise due to traumatic events in life and can disrupt someone’s feelings of safety, emotional stability, and ability to adapt. Being a volunteer helped me to recover from the past and this spiritual healing has had a significant impact on the person I am today more resilient, but always sensitive to the needs of others to a fault, sometimes at my own expense, the better bid of the joke goes to others, not on my own accord, to my good standing, this is a controversial issue, what leads our thinking and patterns, and when the negative is focused upon, how we behave in alignment, with those judgments, or do a better job of representing ourselves and the best interests of others.
To be honest, it is not until we experience pain ourselves that we begin to understand the pain associated with a significantly traumatizing event in one’s history. I have analyzed that what we do in the present is vitally important to see where I stand in the upcoming future. I have since tried to clarify any misconceptions that others had regarding my decision of attending law school.
I had the habit of contemplating my life choices but this time, I finally came to a pause. During this period when I was unable to be decisive for myself, I reached out to those people whom I trusted and respected a lot. I always took advice from the more mature ones because the kind of pressure I used to put on myself was overwhelming to handle. I have always been honest with my seniors and never in any way tried to outsmart or undermine my professors or the administrative personnel in their abilities to do their job. In fact, I often visited the administrator’s office to handle forms and turn in papers in person because I felt comfortable around them and trusted them.
Also, I never questioned their authoritative powers and always thought that I am in their good books. However, when I started dating my ex-boyfriend, the climate around me began to change and I did not understand the reason behind it. It was evident that I was being judged based on the fact that I had started dating which is everyone’s basic right. Because of this, I became very depressed and could not focus on my studies at all. With the passage of time, this started affecting my academic life and my grades dropped. I never really found a law school that much difficult and was always the brightest student in my class. I also had this feeling that this was a school that I could excel in and stand out and not for once did I feel that I was being downgraded or that I was being discriminated based on my personal preferences.
The Importance of Education on My Personal Growth
I knew I had to recover from what had happened in my past and with the passage of time, I developed my cognitive abilities and never stopped learning from my mistakes. I learned how to turn myself into a better human and how to be more effective in working with others and helping others. The experiences that I found most rewarding in my life were the ones when I tried to make a difference in someone else’s life. This is how I grew up, by having this desire to be of society’s help whenever I can. With this personality trait of mine, I gained enough confidence in my ability to take the challenges that life tested me with. I always felt as though I could do more for people, and this is where my interest in law began. I knew how to talk to people who were in crisis and the skills I attained by working with victims made me more sensitive to their needs. Since I was small, I always found it immensely satisfying to help those in need throughout their most terrifying and traumatic life experiences, by giving them the support and access to resources they needed in order to cope up with life.
It takes just a single person to believe in someone who is otherwise ignored and dismissed by the rest of society to make a difference.. Even the blessings of your loved ones count which help with increasing awareness and understanding of those who are having difficulties to move on toward a more productive life. It would not be wrong to say that the end of my senior year marked the most significant growth in my academic career and personal life. During my academic career, I recognized the importance of helping myself before assisting others. I learned that in order to influence change in other people’s lives, I would have to develop the capacity to overcome the personal setbacks which had been preventing me from reaching my true capability to help others.
Not only did I address the problems and dilemmas students like me had been facing on a frequent basis, but I also learned how to deal with trauma and vicarious symptoms of it. This is how I became aware of different ways to help myself adapt to the personal changes I was undergoing. I was also motivated to help those who went through the similar debilitating effects. Effects which can disturb someone’s personal, emotional, professional, and intellectual capacity needed to succeed academically.
Going to law school enabled me to extend my role within this profession so that I would be able to provide legal advocacy to those in need, especially to those experiencing the pains and trauma of being victims of a crime. I was doing a major in sociology which helped me explore my writing capabilities, and I challenged myself academically. I was making the most of my education both as an undergraduate of CU (City University Los Angeles) and as a student in the ABA Approved Paralegal Certificate Program at West Los Angeles College.
As a sociology major and honors student I was aware of the problems individuals and groups in society go through, and I became equally fascinated by what I could do to get involved and make change happen in the lives of others. In order for me to fully understand the fundamental underpinnings of social problems, I had to immerse myself in the problem itself. Rather than being a bystander and passing my judgments on the basis of other people’s experiences, my intellectual capacity was measured by the way I adapted to certain conditions in life. I wanted to examine the problems for myself and address issues that may have been overlooked by those who are different from myself.
I may be young, but rather than getting frustrated with life, I have found education to be the only positive outlet for me to express myself by sharing my ideas, beliefs, and opinions to those who have not experienced what I have. Being able to communicate myself through quotes and blogs has been the sole means for me to grow past the pain of trauma. Not just that but I was also able to develop a deeper understanding of how those experiences can be utilized in a positive manner.
We are either embraced by those who understand us and are similar to ourselves, or we are rejected. I have always been fascinated and drawn to those who are different from myself as such people have taught me the most about myself. We all thrive in an environment that challenges us to step out of our comfort zone. Just like I embraced my weaknesses and found comfort in the unknown, you can also reach out to your strengths to overcome setbacks and insecurities that prevent you from reaching certain goals in academics and work experiences. What we do today and the choices we make in life have a significant influence on the person we want to be one day.
The skills that I have learned as an ABA Certified Paralegal and Certified Crisis Hotline Counselor has significantly influenced the way I see the world today. Especially when responding to others, whether I represent myself in the same way as I was before being hospitalized for 112 days, I’ll never have the pleasure of meeting myself as well. While interning as a paralegal at the City Attorney’s Office, I have learned the importance of building and maintaining professional relationships with the people I work with. This strengthened my ability and capacity to communicate well with people under stressful and crisis situations. As I extended my role as a legal advocate, I began volunteering for Public Counsel’s ‘Community Development Project,’ applying the skills I learned as an intern paralegal and taking the roles and responsibilities as the primary paralegal assisting two attorneys in the project.
With each and every new experience, I am learning how to not only better myself, but also how to be more effective in working with others and helping others. The experiences I find most rewarding in life are the ones in which I can help make a difference in another’s life. I feel that by working on the hotline and by being involved in student groups. I have gained confidence in the ability to take more leadership positions and the confidence needed to pursue future goals in life and stay well.
Leslie Fischman +