I think its really difficult to be in relationships when you are working on yourself and trying to come up in life and find your way. Its really difficult to be close to anyone and at the same time find a job, maintain a job, and still find time to enjoy a social life. Right now my social life consists on writing online and keeping in touch with the friends I make along the way who have been very supportive of me, followed, liked my posts, and corresponded with me, checked in. Its really unfortunate when you are doing well and you are not able to share that happiness with another and for whatever reasons the one you love is not able to share that happiness with you. Everything takes time to develop including what it and what is not, who we are, and who we are in the lives of others, particularly our significant others if and when we find them. Not everything in life in times perfectly and most of the time everything occurs at the wrong time due to poor timing. In order for things to occur on track and on our own best timing, well that is different for every individual. For me my best timing is when everyone around me is happy. But life doesn’t always work out that way. I wish that my life was different than it is today. I wish that I never Campaigned and just lead a normal life. I wish that I never dated in Law School and stuck to my gut instinct which was that I was not able nor ready to maintain an intimate relationship and at the same time focus on school. But at the time I put the needs of someone else’s before my own. When this occurs we are told that everything will come back to us tenfold and that our good deeds do not go unnoticed and that when we put others before ourselves that this means that in the end or somewhere down the line we are to benefit from that experience and those choices we made in life (to put others before ourselves). Eventually you get tired. When this occurs its important to step back, breathe, reassess things, and move forward. Pretending like everything is okay when its not. Or pretending like your feelings are not hurt when they are. Solves nothing. Particularly in terms your ability to communicate with loved ones or significant others. Less is more. The more we try to fix things and the more we try to buffer misunderstandings with excuses, and the more we try to be accepted the less likely those things are to occur. Why is that? Because a person who tries to hard is seen as compensating for some weakness or trying to hard to overcome some obstacle (negative) or trying to overcompensate make positive a life which they assume was not going well (or negative) which is the cause for their current circumstances. Not everything that goes wrong in our lives is to our own fault or at our own expense, usually when bad things happen not only may we be harmed but also those around us may be harmed too. Its important never to play Victim when you are the Victim, this usually breeds animosity towards you as trying to situate yourself as disabled or less capable than the rest and in need. People who are in need are generally characterized as physically or mentally incapacitated to the extent that they need or rely on others to take care of them, guide them, help them, for instance Victims. If you do not fit the mold of someone who could potentially be Victimized, you will not be seen as a Victim, but as a cause for your current circumstances and a product of the choices you have made in your life which you are expected to take responsibility for and correct on your own best timing. This is unfortunate. Many opportunities in life are wasted or passed when we are misunderstood and when we are harmed. Its really not the responsibility of the Victim to defend themselves. But here I am. Goodnight everyone, and hope you have a great day tomorrow. And remember to smile and be appreciative of all your blessings in life and those who are in your lives and not to worry about those who chose not to be apart of your life. Ive always been the most popular whatever school I go to or whatever town Im in. That’s just me. So I know something is wrong when someone who is kind to me at one point, chooses not to associate with me at another point in time. And that’s for me to figure out and is really none of anyone else’s business but mine. All I can do is be myself to the best of my ability and live life without or without people in my life. Without or without their guidance, acceptance, love, understanding, or consideration. When you are down, when you put yourself out there, you can only be harmed, not benefit when situated in a weakened stance by failure, mishap, rejection, or misfortune. Bad luck occurs and its to ones own responsibility to turn their luck around, not rely on others to help enable that to occur. You are what you attract in life.