When you’re young, and going places in life when every decision is at your disposal, the world at your fingertips, you have power, and with that power privilege. Privileges get taken away in life if youre not careful, when a good impression was once made, a bad impression can easily be taken if you are not a wise decision maker. Whats this about … its about doing the right thing, not taking from others, when things do not go right, and not using people if well, to create a better look or achieve a weller state of mind, that’s now using your power for good but for bad, it goes both ways, to the needy and to the needed, not to use one another, and leave eachother worse off, or those around them affected worse off, if either party becomes ill its best to keep separate. Whenever a new connection is made, that’s to benefit both parties, an assumption is made by those looking on the outside, based upon who has more in life, the benefit is assumed to have run, to the person who has less. Be sensitive to what people have in life, and be sensitive at the same token to what people do not have in life. That’s not for you to decide, if in a position of power. Someone in a position of power has no fear, because they can say and do whatever they want … without fear of being found out about, and keep doing what theyre doing in life at no expense we hope unless to themselves, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes it turns out that even people with power and privilege lose their sense of power, upon being given to someone of lesser standing or to the less fortunate in life, note: if you were raised wealthy you are deemed to automatically be bearing power and privilege therefore not deemed a victim to loses, incurred by associating to anyone less than or better than, it then is assumed that its your responsibility to maintain good standing, and make decisions, with a good sense of moral underpinnings that define wealth. *Do your best always to benefit others.
Be beautiful … one day at a time, one match at a time …
Love the person you are today, [you never know how long anything will last]. If you can start each day with an affirmation or mantra that helps you stay present then do so. You’re more likely to accomplish more in life when you start your day positive [regardless what is said about you or to you it is always your responsibility to stay sound of mind and sound of heart, unaffected by the negativity of others, their worries and concerns as toward or about your good standing in life … that’s them not seeing you for you, or not recognizing you as well, that’s in their opinion not your own best opinion, always trust your doctors as they know best when you are well or not, by having known you, know how to treat you, and help you improve whatever conditions, as accepted or not accepted about you.] [Your] outlook repeats itself throughout the day [have it be your own not the ideals set by others, change your tone in life, or how you feel about yourself, be conditioned to others, condition yourself as supervised by others, adapt, not be the one to whom others adapt to, always be in control of your emotions]. What affects your ability to envision your future as moving forward in life [is up to you]. I’ve been told “not to go backwards” and to chart my progress that it doesn’t need to be detailed … but a simple checklist will suffice. Likewise I share with you advice I’ve been given [not to my benefit] and hope [without burden] that it will help the same, I’m not a competitive person, and its okay if those you help outshine you [especially if they are more well than you are, better able, or with more resources in life to cope] there are plenty of fish in the sea, lifes not all about [acceptance]. (01-24-19, 02-02-19)
Don’t get spoiled in life as a reader, with an ability to affect writers, or by choice influence what is written about, by your experiences in and around a writer, not all have mental health issues, and if you know how a person works, by fixating on words or phrases out of sync, or intended to hurt or influence as person, than that is purposeful, not necessarily and influence but an attempt to influence a person in the same way to whom someone important has influenced them in life, in a positive way. That’s taking one interpretation of a conversation (in the negative) and then trying to be that person, as attacking the good character (of me) the correspondent to another conversation (and then by defenses claim as to a current set of circumstances) be affected in the same way book writing, that’s an unwanted positive (returned to the commentator) who by insult insults the writer and correspondent. As a writer and correspondent for many years, when you approach someone professionally and they do not respond that does not mean open up to them, chances are the circumstances will repeat themselves much like anyone trying to turn a positive experience into a negative one, to see if you respond in the positive or negative or in the same way, write a book. Not all people are the same, that’s a form of unwanted influence to be controlled by receiving negative input and expected to still produce positive results. I’ve been told that life is not perfect and that “in the real world” that’s how it is, not everyone will be nice to you, I used to think that was a symptom of something larger, but have since realized, that its just depending on the day, much like the weather, how others respond, sometimes nothing to do with you, or over any power or control struggles, you just have to accept people the way they are. . (02-02-19)
In reviewing my friend’s post on “notable villains” past … it came to mind not to promulgate notions of building anything as toward concepts especially raising peoples identities to achieve concepts of grandiosity or enabling people to pick up traits that further reinforce old ideas of success and steer away from current trends toward conservative progress, they will never stop coding as a means to exonerate those to whom should not be affected, like shout out at a rock show, if you do get affected by shout outs, try not to contribute in public your thoughts as they may be used in reference or without reference to further raise understanding of ways in which stories can be used to ground stories and teach lessons, without everything ending up in a fight, when you gather your past do your best to move forward whether by interpretation ideas shared by others can be further incorporated. DO NOT incorporate into your solutions for coping those who have messed up in the past or not done well and as affected have committed suicide as accused, and then frame your understandings on their failures past that surely wont help you as a women be seen as the good guy and just as accountable for diving into relationships and when they don’t work out become surprised at the sides that aren’t working for you in your favor.
You’ll go through a lot of changes in life, some changes you’ll endure will feel like forever … the process, but most of the changes you go through in life are for the best. You body changes for you, it does more for you then you need to focus on … that’s the problem, self-care how much of us on the inside affects how we look on the outside, and how much of our energy and mental processes are required for us to stay well, this is something I am currently struggling with, staying mentally fit, and not allowing the voices of others toward me, or voices coming from within ie thoughts affect my inner being or state of peace … we all endure challenges in life sometimes to stay emotionally balanced easily affected by others or other sources of information …. We are not computers, and our thoughts cannot be replaced sometimes even with better ones, and just like thoughts our experiences cannot be replaced even with better ones, less reminders are sometimes best when it comes to moving forward, less is more, allow time to heal just as the body heals discomforts, and what cannot be medicated, sometimes if thought about will only cause repetition moving forward that is as talked about or experienced. That’s not bipolar, it’s a matter of knowing when to use your smarts and when to turn off your smarts to enjoy your now, whether its with people you love or can relate to learn not to rehash or be affected by stories or experiences in life so that you can appreciate now. Life is a learning process but it need not be made more difficult by reliving your past or as affected cause others to relive experiences as affected by your best decision making, not all roads will lead to one, meaning not all experiences and thoughts will arrive at a solution, not unless you keep reliving your past, in order to move forward and accept change or live in the now and accept or build a better life for yourself, it begins with you, what is it that makes you happy and feel positive, is it forgiveness? What is it that makes you feel strong? Is it success? What is it that makes you feel loved? Is it attention? And what is it that makes you feel good? Is it being who you say you are sober (for example). When your best decision making is guided by your own conduct and set of beliefs you fair well, your ideals such as being skinny, and when your best decision making gets thrown off it could be because you are living up to a set of ideals or standards not your own, understand that difference, and do your best to find a happy medium, between what is acceptable and what is you.
If you know not to say something and spend years writing online, if later stated thought to be an underlying current guiding your discussions as about or as affected by underlying words thought about not spoken, that’s whats gets attacked as reading your writing present and past for value whether or not influenced by a set of terms as stated during a bipolar episode following a 28 day hospitalization. My words are kept general because its not necessary to restate what is bothering me or bothering others about me, by restating words as though something I believe in or apart of any process of resolution or release of persons, that is not why I blogged as in cohorts or why I went to law school but yes is something not a set of terms or beliefs, to which I was directly affected by, as picking up my best friend from the airport, upon visiting her Father, no that’s not why I was hospitalized in law school and put in rehab for 2 months, as affected negatively … I was dumped during finals, nervous before an exam the night before my evidence final … this information only empowers the nosey but does no good for me moving forward to discuss what has happened in my life, as I am affected by my life now, everyone has lives of their own, and I write not to be in agreement with others, or to find agreement to my ideas or beliefs in life, grow a set of beliefs or understanding or common knowledge that is story based, that is not a positive process of healing to relive the past or as retraumatized by the sharing of stories, relive those traumas, as spoken to or about in the abstract. When someone writes without stating facts from their own lives from where information is derived or from where a response is derived that’s to not empower those who as directed toward a person can control their writing (my writing) and output, for anyone watching overhead, that is to deflect attention away from me, and to reject me as having issues related to a set of persons, individuals, or group of people who if exposed to react in the negative, if a negative reaction is sought, then the purpose cannot therefore be positive to interject ones self into the life of another, and if somebody persons or individuals seek to affect someone to create a situation in which a person looks like they are not apart of, that is to further dismember a person from society by speaking to them as to promulgate further worsen use of a joke or set of analogous circumstances to interfere with their positive progress in life, ability to be unique be seen and heard as unique. To create a unique tone in ones self to set ones self apart is to not be of influence and as influenced or copied be empowered by a following, and copies or imitations in life usually devalue the original, that’s not being a prototype for influence or change, respected, by to interfere with someones ability and skill to write, is a wrongful interference with a person’s future potential, and ability to adapt to the present, this is why its important to respect the privacy of others, not interfere with peoples relationships or embarrass them. To add value back to yourself, don’t imitate others in life be unique, and likewise you wont be retaliated upon or hurt equally, by a set of standards that they think proper procedure to steal, and as justified, think that doing so behind your back is okay, no that’s wrong to steal, wrong to take, wrong to hurt, wrong to exacerbate, and wrong to separate a person from their ability to lead a normal life, and thus be treated differently as someone who is mentally ill of lower intelligence and negatively impact their ability to live life … that’s putting someone back in the past or separate them to be worse of, having experienced loss react when no one knows what theyre reacting to. Sometimes its until I sound like I was that people let go, as deserved, I deserve to be well think well. Lesson: Do not respond to those who cause you harm, ignore #hate + discrimination - not everyone will understand where you are coming from in life.
I would write for myself but at this point that would be selfish to speak only from my shoes and not include the majority or people who can understand from where Im coming from and by what I have to say makes sense to not only me from my shoes but also to them. When everyone starts to feel better that’s not a time to pause but to be thankful for the strides that have been taken to ensure that others resume their lives not bombarded by controversies unless they choose to watch news outlets or read the paper and partake in the daily changes occurring in the world, some of us are better off our worlds small. I had a talk with my therapist today, about exposure and how I wish to be a product of what I choose to read. It doesn’t matter for how long someone has thought about code or for how long it has affected someone, who by their understanding has not had the same understanding as others, or by exposures the same know how and thoughts about life and about others in perspective. At what point do controversies become known and what point does one bear the responsibility to make a difference that’s not always social responsibility for everyone to use their business savvy to market and make money from the best understandings of others, if an original work, that’s not common sense, that’s my sense of the world, which is not necessary to be populated, as I am diagnosed bipolar, therefore my best understanding of what has affected me in my life is not to include what has affected others in their lives as understanding code. I used to read obituaries, and overtime, thought what if possible could I do to help improve the condition of the times, not make worse understandings as through coding to one set of ideals or shared stories, as I’ve gotten older, story sharing has provided for less eventful interactions, and more repetition in my life, as though I’m reliving interaction, not having new relationships. That does not mean that I am defective but because I once had addiction problems, that idea about me is being used to blame what they think is wrong with me, while benefiting from everything I’ve done right in life to interact with them, life is not a job, you are not required to think like others to get along well with others, but at work, what is more of value your life outside the office or in the office, its your choice, who you choose to focus on in life, not everyone can be God, you chose your own hierarchy from which to based your decisions off of, the world is a big place, filled with people like you, who equally feel affected when the times are off, or when people who should be in leadership positions do not perform to the standard required of them, to take on more roles as a professional. (Now on a personal note): I think I have done my best to be fair to everyone, and share my insight, besides hearing things along the way that I think are negative about me or towards me, but never have tried to change anyones opinion of me, that’s not for me to decide, it doesn’t matter how special or important you are, some do not wish to be apart of and if you are from a controversy that does not make you special or give you the right to share your story, and become special … if they have already designated you as something you are not, if you miss opportunities for amends along the way you lose supporters. A loss of support occurs when you are not ready to make amends and an amends is tried to be made. Once that support is lost, you cannot later open the door for forgiveness or acceptance of an amends, the relationship is gone at that point, and if you stubbornly choose to walk out or leave a relationship then they designate your losses in life as deserved, and that’s how a side against you is made out of nothing.
Have you ever noticed a dim in a person talking to them, that’s very human. Its not that we instinctually dim and light up to others … I wonder sometimes if that’s purposeful and that they are just showing off, or if that’s a gift … I don’t think that light is based upon attraction but by benefit, to benefit another is to light up for them, to dim is going back into your shell, I’ve noticed this a lot talking to others as of recently, I don’t think that’s fear either, maybe its by presence, thinking is there something wrong with my presence, could I light up differently, maybe its my eyes communicating too much as looking at me, can they tell that I’m reading them … is that wise to read others mid conversation … or should you be listening to what why have to say, how important is eye contact to a conversation, is it okay to be blind and not look at a person when you are talking to them or is that considered weird. I wonder afterward what they were thinking looking at me, am I easily read … maybe I look funny or its because of my writing online I worry too much what other people think, for the most part everyone is nice to me.
You will experience a lot in life … learn to weather the storm, or write a book in the middle of a fire. That’s how to keep going in life, not by counting your losses, but appreciative of what your do have in life, do not become the victim to your own storms in life. There will be ups and downs. There are multiple factors sometimes contributing to your loss of speed in life, and motivation, not all losses are because of your own doing in life, or misforgivings. Do unto others, as you wish to be done to you, that’s the lesson in story telling, not all benefit from the later sharing of a shared experience in life, some wish to be removed from relationships in life, and at their choice resume those contacts. Keep busy. Last year published 2 books, took my last course to complete my masters, and got a job! I was so proud of myself. If you set the right goals for yourself in life, you’ll be happy when things start to pan out for you in life. If you are focused on what you don’t have in life it will be difficult to achieve what it is you want out of life. We all want companionship, we all want jobs, and we all want a good life, not all of us are able to achieve all three in life, some of us don’t have families of our own, but that doesn’t mean forget about the family and friends you do have in life, there is more to be happy for than you can think of sometimes. Don’t make your unhappinesses with how your life has turned out the problem of others to resolve, just as you are trying to keep going in life, so are they … if you can’t keep up sometimes people will leave your life for good. You can’t therefore go backwards in wonder and think that things will turn out differently as reunited, that would be a mistake on your part, if you are not better than, or do not appear better than, then the other will look or appear better than if they think they are better than you, that’s what happens when you talk to exes, it feels good for a minute, but then you instantly get depressed or feel like $hit comparing your life now as it was then in happy matrimony, at peace. Not all relationships are fit for marriage past the point of disability, you have to then prove your wellness to progress or keep a relationship thereafter, don’t waste your good time on people who don’t love you.
Sometimes that’s the very thing people are looking for, whenever something doesn’t work out, an apology, that’s to relinquish themselves from blame. All is fair in love and war, and if you support multiple people, then with that support, support them in moving forward, that doesn’t mean help others to move forward by excluding yourself. If an apology results in excluding yourself and empowering others, than that may be the reverse of a #metoo, without you. Some relationships end amicably, and some do not, lets not go there for now. Usually when things don’t work out it’s the person who thinks things were going well and when things go sour, get upset, or when things don’t work out get mad at the other person for not saying the right things in response, or not being the person they expected them to be, that’s called disappointment. Always do your best to mend or repair what ties you can moving forward … not all bridges were meant to be burned, and not everything is related to your best decision making, there will be times when you will be the butt of every joke, due to poor decision making or choice words, be kind to yourself and others, patience goes a long way when it comes to amends, be thoughtful and others will be forgiving, but don’t at your expense switch positions with others and give away your upper hand in life and wellness, to make someone else feel better about themselves for leaving you, or feel less guilty for being upset with you for leaving or getting yourself into trouble off path in life. We all need days to ourselves, that doesn’t mean put yourself at risk of harm. Remember those who care have lives of their own too, its not all about you.
Self-injury is no joke, this can occur by self-harming or by enabling others to convince you you are something you are not. Don’t beat around the bush about issues you are sensitive to or think is about you because you can relate, not all facets of life you empathize with are applicable to you. Be careful not to compromise your good standing in life, to make others feel better or not as affected. That’s called changing positions with someone who if spoken about is deemed less deserving of a poor standing and in exchange someone of greater standing is given the position of someone who is better off or in better standing. Take care of the ones you love, and do your best to protect those who care from harm. You may not be able to solve all problems in life … people will read and constantly maneuver discussions to be about this or that, but its simple, those who are victims to discussions need not be mentioned as this triggers re-discussion of who is at fault, once someone is not liked no one wants to be associated to them, and once that occurs all interactions past become about who was using who to make themselves feel apart of, and afterward explains who those connections were dissed or severed later on. No one want to look bad as associated to people, and often time if someone is misidentified, they will look like the one to blame, if they do not react, or are last to find out what has been said about them, injured or affected by discussions about them … that is either purposeful to cause harm, or by accident we are not sure which disses are about whom and why but all persons affected by discussions matter not just me.
I think a huge part of life is wanting to feel successful, and from that success become a happier person. It’s not easy to achieve success when youre not at your best don’t be an unhappy person just because you’re not where you want to be in life. Success takes time, so does feeling a sense of accomplishment, or feeling accomplished in life, this can occur by education or work experience. For me my confidence has been achieved by writing online and going to law school, always maintain a delicate balance between being proud of yourself, and not making others jealous by your sense of pride and perfection in life, some only wish to be admired or imitated that’s their form of confidence to make others jealous of them and realize their own imperfections in life, that’s not how to build esteem but to break down the esteems of others … I’m not sure what that is, but it isn’t pride or confidence, its filling voids … voids that others have in life … which can best be filled with respect not admiration and hardwork not envy or jealousy … you are what you are in life, and whether or not someone accepts you, should not matter you should respect all whether or not they accept you in their lives on a professional or personal basis, you always have yourself in life, its not necessary to please others to find happiness in life or achieve some positive accord on a daily basis with those around you. -You’re bound to face more criticisms on your way up to any good in life, if you present yourself as insecure or in need, therefore its important to always maintain some self-reliance in life to avoid becoming too dependent upon others. I never wanted to be just another hyper blogger, its really insulting to point out, but its easy to appear with more energy as a writer than you have writing online, I think that’s the most uncomfortable part about writing online, is how you sound to your audience, always be mindful of the energy spent writing … reading is a different kind of energy, requires less. Be sure not to wear yourself out sharing, chances are they too (the reader) will become tired to hear you speak about what causes your discomforts in life, or through the discussion of what doesn’t make sense to you. (As a reader) Always be positive toward those who try hard in life, its not easy to be a positive person. From where did the impetus to write quotes come from … from reading online many years ago beginning 2013. I wanted to expand upon the services already provided through quotes, and share my writing online, in long quotes. I have had some exposure online, but limited, reviewing the blogs written by others, I never became popular or with comments until sharing on Instagram. -By reading what other quotes people had to share I decided to contribute. I never quite figured out how to make money as a blogger online, but read a lot of blog posts about it, just never signed up, that may be the next step, guest posting on other websites, and getting paid for my writing. Right now I’m working on a book. It takes time to develop as a writer, some people have more business savvy in life to make money and produce online, I’m not one of them.
Overtime everything improves, and with experience noticeable differences occur in outward appearances, it usually just so happens that as you mature, you get your look down. What was once your best if improvement keeps occurring looks half as good as you appear now. When you get your look down you should be proud of yourself, its harder these days, with more variations and options with makeup, its up to you to decide and make decisions for which products to use, there are many at our disposable, not all the same products work for everyone. If we could all dump our bags out for magazines if were famous, we would all be using the same products? Why do variations exist, and what is competition? Usually anything unique, depreciates as copied, and anything that looks like, depreciates in value, as compared to, not as good as, not as pretty as, not the same as, not as smart as, not as gifted as, not as talented as, not as beautiful as. What is beautiful? Beauty comes from within they always tell us that, no matter how many composite sketches you put over someones face to make them look like they are something they are not, eventually their true beauty will shine, give people time to heal, not everyone is adept at knowing how to alter, fix, modify, or improve their current condition, and signs are obvious on the outside when someone is not well, you can’t judge a book by its cover or someones face, as a precursor to their condition, wellness, or fitness of character, based upon what you hear see them as. On Facebook I made a short video while running “who do I look like now” that was in jest to my friends, do we look like our audience or do we look like those we are looking at, and what helps us maintain our uniqueness, is it by looking at ourselves, or by looking at others we change. Usually it is someone we look up to or admire we try to be more like, or improve to benefit them, match up to them, or be as good as, when will one start accepting themselves as they are, are we as women predisposed to changing ourselves not as a matter of competition but as wellness, lifes not all about being picked.
Upon Deletion and After Theft …
Upon deletion that is thought of as a right to take, or make fun of, a sign of guilt, usually when someone is well, that wellness is wanted to be benefited by the creator and there is a loss of energy upon creation of anything good, any break is not indicative of guilt or denoting a right to be given to the observer to take, sometimes there is a long process of saving or archiving or communicating, and in the space between creation and saving, is tired, and its during that period of tire that things are deemed as takeable as though not noticeable, it is the reader who memorizes, and it is by what is thought of as taken away remembered, no faces are as by exposed of by who is thinking about who their face changes, like mine, not by watching or imitation mimicry or by touch or transfer of energy, it is by exposure, the fewer intimacies and exposures you have the greater the memory of that person in your life, if you meet a lot of people you may not have the same problem as attached or by memory thought of, or impressed upon, it is the person who looks the most different that is deemed as the offender, I have looked the same my whole life, it is by offended “letter felt on a person” that have been impressed upon a persons sense of self and identity why people get offended when people are aggressive or say things not in tone matching or too strong of a tone for by what a person looks like, the more unrecognizable a person looks, that is not necessarily a given that a negative opinion is held of them sometimes self care is a process not a sign that their body is weak heart is weak promiscuos or without love sometimes people gain weight for whatever reasons, and its none of anyone business what causes heartache loss of energy or motivation in life, sometimes these are just phases and especially not be judged in the negative if experienced while growing up by a few bad photos, and all good photos taken, not remembered as well but only as not well, it is by those impressions a future impression or past impression is made about a person, as being that way their whole life without photos representative of them well, and by bad photos judgments is passed negative judgment which gets projected onto them moving forward without them knowing and its by others ability to change their face without them knowing why, that empowers people who think deserved, once you learn why your face changes, with limited contact and no drinking or drug use, and limited interaction, when well you present the best version of yourself, at work you wear nice clothes, and in the day if you do not have a job that does not mean dress down, and especially not if you do not fit in brand names jeans, they will always bring up the past as told by you and it is by the words of your story that they justify impressing upon you the interpretation of those who do not know you well and think by how you look or by where you are that something is wrong with you it takes many years to reverse negative judgment of you its by being good, and once you are able to function and maintain face, reset your face with makeup then you have made it to smart, unless you know how to manage yourself and practice self care then it is not wise to be too social drink or do drugs if you cannot manage your own identity, its by living and property beign taken away as living people who are not around you are able to attach to you and control you when you are well that attachment is good luck, stretched back to them, as not well what is taken becomes of less value, that is why people steal from those who are well to receive the benefits of that wellness by having something of the well while they are well, to be attached to well, and to understand why people are well, nothing well was ever made easily, and it may seem as though someone is strong, but its not by challenges that make us stronger, and its not by pushing ourselves that makes us stronger, past a certain age something that is easy to someone who experiences difficulty understanding, will benefit from that that challenge as faced by another, this is a reoccurring theme, as people are described as remembered from my life, that perspective is taken and then projected toward me as the one being negative it does not matter whether I look well or look young now, even if you achieve a well look and figure out what is causing your face to change, by that time your insides do not match your outsides and likewise you will be tested to see if you know your limits in life, and left for god to punish you, as confirmed as deserving of punishment based upon as weak or dull or broken how your outsides look to see if they match your insides, that’s called an unwanted experiment of someone who is well treated as appearing youthful to attract, not because deserved, and an older photo is the desired result sought to be projected, then those are they who will perceive your past as told or remembered to create those possibilities for you in the future, anything explained is not disempowering to any one side, but its just a waste of energy to explain why people trun on you when well, and by the time you get sick lighten up, and by then its too late.
Upon any first meeting how you look an appear demonstrates how fit you are to be around others, welcomed into their lives, and based upon whether or not you are capable of improving, contributing to a set of positive conditions, and improvable, some us of us were well, and after taking care of others for many years become fixer uppers ourselves, those who have aged over the years recognize this pattern, and note that those who you help get better will never forget you, youd think the opposite to remember those who you have not faired well among, don’t blame your past or those in it when bad luck strikes, allow people to make mistakes in life, and always prove them wrong, people will always want better in life, and the more you become desperate needy or overreact the less stable fixable you become and the more likely you will get let go, once they cannot see a future with you, that’s because your wellness is viewed upon as fixable to not fixable and although better not good enough, if they see a future in you, then you should see a future in you, if they can see a future in you but you cannot see your own future including them, doesn’t mean youre in the wrong place it just means that you have become so defective that until you are at your best and feel your best will you see and think your best, because that’s how you conditioned yourself, others may not be so conditioned to those settings of acceptance and clarity, that’s beyond perfection, that’s expectation, they always tell you not to set high expectations of others, what about you? If you do not set reasonable expectations of yourself, who knew that falling by the wayside confirms or automatically groups you among a set of rejects, losers, and offenders who when failure meets people, problems occur, and when problems occur, jealousy is at fault, in my best opinion its more than jealousy, if your body and face change and you become tired sleepy head and body in pain, but not suicidal because you have purpose in life to be awake for those hours, what then, I have seen doctors their choices are (1) asleep live life (2) awake live life. In my own words which is more painful, both, I think stupid is the most painful condition when you feel something or think something and cant articulate yourself and jibberish comes out and or humor which makes you look of lower intelligence and that negative opinion of you gets casted over your positive outlook until negative occurs in your life to confirm those negative judgments of you … no one intends to get taken advantage of … [redacted] the good always finds better, and if youre not good enough the best thing you can do is leave, however you don’t think that upon leaving you get picked and devalued, eventually all secrets become known, and if someone is not sure about you, hearing where you have been will not make them any more the less attracted to you, what is grose? Anyone in shape is not grose. What is beauty, anyone who recognizes themselves looks the same everyday is healthy not high maintenance but doing their best of course no one wants to look different everyday, and if people look well together that’s not love that symbiosis, and upon disconnect they should look the same, unless they connect to something or someone who is not a match or who doesn’t love them, then a part of them connects to when they looked well, why they are not happy because they wish they looked the same but because in a new relationship look different. You would think this only happens to women, bottom line pick your favorite Facebook profile and share updates when well, no one wants to see your face as demonized ugly or shrinking, only at your best, can you imagine if everyone documented their mental illness or bad days, then we would not remember the best of times, or when well, only our worst including your friends and audiences. Market yourself as well always, if you get hurt, don’t share with everyone what happened, just fix yourself, report always, and I promise God will fix your face, the body heals.
Whats Happening …
Whats happening is the spiriting of people, as toward you, trying to be something from your past to see if you react in the same way, thinking they know how you work. When you are not stable or lost people will shout things at you to see if likewise you react, and based upon the words that they use, or stories they tell see if you respond in the positive or negative as assuming things are about you, that’s creatively putting you down, by bringing up subjects to see if you are desensitized then trying to prove desensitized by bringing up subjects over and over again to see if affected whether guilt is existing or not, that’s someone creating a side and then taking the place of the person to whom they believe is not at fault, and then treating you as though you are at fault, and by the same token doing things you are not able to provide evidence for and then treating you if you respond in the negative as “bringing it upon yourself” proving backwards commentary not justified at the time commentary was made, that’s someone – reflects someone who thought you were less than and spoke to you as such until you exhibited characteristics of someone who is less than, if someone does not look well that’s not a necessarily a product of their environment, nor does how someone look or appear now show whether someone was well or not at the time they got sick, and based upon a fathomed understanding of illness, place beliefs as though obsessions exist that so justify treatment of them, and further justified by tampering, and once stated is how they keep harming you without ability to prove say that you are being experimental with them, only someone who is being experimental with you when they do not get the reaction that they had hoped for respond in the negative toward you, and when they achieve a positive condition and let go, is when you become disgruntled as they have no understanding of your comprehension and ability to not react, that’s assuming that you were punished because you react poorly to negativity, at what point did negativity begin? You only have a small window of opportunity to be normal, once you look or appear abnormal is when you get treated as being abnormal inside and out, sometimes our outsides do not match who we are on the inside, its at the point where everyone who was guilty no longer cares and unless a script is written for them for how to respond or treat you or something said as to how a few have treated you to see how the masses respond, is inflating the position of the few who have been experimental with you are not been able to keep you or maintain admiration or love for them, that’s when they have taken it too far not you, learn how to let things go, you cannot force people to love you or care about you, in an unprofessional way, people adjust both to people and their environment its not all about you or the wellness provided by you to be returned by someone who you think looks well and until they do not look well realize they are not well, it should not get to that point, when physical appearances change, sometimes because of mistakes we have to take care of people who are not well, and based upon that understanding people either stay sick or achieve well. Based upon where I was place was by choice, a hospital where smoking was permitted why I was visited in court and in the hospital is beyond me, everyone deserves a right to privacy, that’s not support for return, that’s making someone uncomfortable on purpose as though thought deserved, you cannot judge one interaction as all post interactions are the same or similar, just because you think that you are a catch does not give one the right to call someone mentally ill over song choices or sponsorship, nervousness is a manifestation not of aggressiveness around you, but by comfort, if not comfortable do not build trust with those to whom you think you are better than, if so achieve and find better than, don’t put someone down who is well to look better than, we are all victims at this point, and until you understand it takes time for people to recover will you stop fighting, blaming others, and heal. Its someone who does not understand your past thinks they know you or why you have become ill or treated the way you have been treated and they either reinforce those opinions about you to see if they are right to feel well, or just let things go not make things worse. Allow people to move forward in life, not everything is about you, and until you can empathize is not always a good indicator of understanding, sometimes empathy hurts, I am not well, why no one empathizes with me, that’s not because brought upon myself its because others deemed me not viable or unfit for representation, that people took on leadership positions about me and put me down as justified, to blame for their misunderstandings of mental illnesses. At what point do you forgive and move forward at what point do you stop taking people who are good and blaming them for when things go wrong, and let the ones most put together lead, when they stop wanting to lead, what then becomes of society, as led by the broken or people who have failed, is it really the strong who have lifted us, or those who are bad turned to good. How long can someone who is bad stay good, and at what point does one misrepresentation cause a series of misrepresentations, that is based upon the happening of bad conditions to be proven right, if the first misunderstanding was understood as a misunderstanding then the following misunderstandings would not have been made about them as justified, or amplified.
Stories from Your Past …
People will always be picky about what they remember about you, based upon how they have viewed you during good and bad times, and based upon your past as told or how they have judged you is how they build and create a current understanding of you as in the wrong, those are by people who are prosecutorial minded, who do not allow you to move forward in life, and wish to have you remembered as bad, at what point do you then begin to move forward. Whether you get viewed upon as one who is in tune with the past that was not well, is what they do to further discriminate you as promoting characteristics about you until changed, to further an understanding of where you belong or deserve to be grouped upon in life. You cannot move forward after punishment, that is something I will have to live with as intelligent, and after having done my best to live a good life and stay home, not exposed or tired by socialization or from talking to much, where my energy comes from seldom spoken and hardworking, its not just by who we admire that we are influenced, but by those who have good energy about them that influence others, do not be measured by the change you are able to influence in others, that does not necessarily reflect back some kind of a gift of being able to improve others, it’s the gift of improvement, that gets hired or attacked by those who experience failure after failure, and rejection who can’t seem to make good luck happen for them in life, without putting someone down with a gift to make themselves appear as the gift giver of wellness or deserving of credit for wellness, and when any illness is achieved or obtained, then abstinence is best from all social interactions and dating, that’s the point at which when your gift is gone, your gift of wellness, and those not affected are the ones who keep achieving well at your expense, you do not own people, not even your heart, and even if you get rejected or broken, do not empathize with those who have changed their minds about you, there are plenty of people in this world gifted who are able to help others achieve well, that is not a one person job, but sometimes a group effort, once you do not match up in life, think what characteristics or traits were changed about you after having been put down, is that the kind of person you should give your heart to someone who is fickle well and condescending toward you, if that’s not a match once it will not be a match again in the future, find people who love you for who you are, not dislike you for who you are not, not believe in you. It’s a choice to light up, once your light gets put out you become picky, how a person becomes picky about the energy they spend and put out into the world, whether to save energy or waste or spend energy helping others or see others improve while you become ill, what is that then, energy being taken away? Well Shakespeare, its about how much energy you put into each project, you can give and give and never receive any returns on what you think is your best work, or something of value, why? Because anything that looks easy or sounds well or complete is deemed to have been easy to make, when in actuality anything special does not exist prior, becomes devalued as copies are made or distributed how someone who is smart is despecialized, once someone carries on a gift made by one, and then worked on by another who is not the creator of an original work. That’s the loss of intelligence that occurs when you share your mind, sometimes in marketing what you share becomes better at you than you are able to perform, that’s in a general sense what happens when you figure out something that works and then teach someone else what has worked for you, and if they become better at it then so be it, and if you get drained that’s because you have trained and replaced yourself.
What the Main Problem Is …
The main problem is what team people are apart of and people on the outside trying to decipher which communications are being brought toward others, for that case it does not matter what I write online, I have good days and bad days in public, depending on my mental health sometimes I feel threatened by others and sometimes other feel threatened by my presence, that has nothing to do with having a record which no one knows anything about. And for whatever reasons I did not have money and got arrested is my own business not the business of others (2013, 3 drinks), for what reasons people were punished afterward, a bar was shut down. Discrimination comes in all shapes and forms, and its never by those who are threatened that get blamed for being scared of others, by what they hear or because of what they look like. Im not a dangerous person, I’m not a violent person, depending on who you grew up around, determines how people are toward you, growing up got along with everyone everyone nice to me, now however, whether or not I have a job seems to make no difference, people will always belittle who they think they are better than or by who appears as less than deserving of being put down in life, as deserved, that’s not how to treat people, and those who treat others poorly based upon how much confidence they have or based upon beauty should not be treated based upon beauty or physical standards of good health. We are all inspired by different things in life, and by different people, its usually by the good, we are influenced, and by the good we are changed, or try to better ourselves and those around us, sometimes people are credited for their wellness and ability to help others achieve the same wellness or better. When people are wrong they tend to come forward either emulating what it is that they have done wrong, or coming forward as though that has always been the case, not everyone communicates to one another [the same], and not everyone is friends, we were all brought up differently, and no one person is the same as another, nor should be treated as though like, as though inspired by or changing to be more like, what is defined as beauty thin and oval shaped head, if one looks that way it is because one has taken good care of themselves how they were able to achieve beauty in life. You should not treat people who are well as offenders by separating them from others to see if they are still beautiful on their own in order to identify them as the offender or not, one who is not beautiful alone would not be out on their own, able to look well from home to the bar, if they were the one in need of beauty or love, means that that person already has love at home, why they are well or feel well around others able to perform, and of intelligence. You should not treat people who are of intelligence as unintelligent based upon how they look or appear, and just because someone is closed off on their headphones not social or writing in their phone does not mean there is something wrong with them simply because they have not woken up to the depression or loss of light seen in others, that loss of light is not a product of the presence of someone who bears light, and one should not be discriminated based upon their intelligence as looking and speaking to others in public spaces, not all of us were gifted with confidence, some of us perform better around friends, some look better with boyfriends, and some look best on their own, just because someone does not have a boyfriend, does not mean that they should be treated as a reject or not capable of giving love and maintaining a relationship trash.
People on the Outside …
Generally people on the outside always want more and if they don’t get more from you or out of you think because its your fault or that you are defective or means something is wrong with you -that is a characteristic of someone lacking patience. You can give everything to someone, and still not be of value or appreciate overtime, this is not about anyone in particular, nor ever has been its about learning how to have faith and the appreciate what you do have in life. Its not worth it to share when one is not doing well, as treated as deserving of not being well, its people as attached who stay well, and its people who get thrown on the inside of anything that do not feel well. There’s no theory behind punishment, you either are doing well or not doing well, I can hear them saying now, yeah that’s what happened or yeah she deserved that or yeah that’s why she got punished, or it was for this or that or this or that, that’s not the solution. You either are good or bad, and depending upon the times and what you disclose about yourself, you add to your own stresses in life, the more you talk about the bad, the less the good shines, and the more you talk about the bad the more the good assumes that you are talking bad about them and then they put you down so that you look bad so they don’t look bad, public opinion when strong is not easily affected by rumors, this I have learned over the years, no one really cares what other people think, mostly about themselves and their own wellness in life, that’s a hard topic to preach, without changing the sick to well and making the well not feel special as they are not the only ones who are well but share wellness with others, to whom they don’t take a liking to, that’s an unwanted meeting of the minds, that’s not cancer, that’s just thinking someone is not well and putting them down so that others don’t think they are well so that they become a source of wellness to others, and someone who is not bad or not sick or not dying is treated as though they are until they believe it themselves.
When Life Gets Random …
There will be a lot of people attracted to you in life, mostly for your well being, not just being nice to you, but because there is something good about you, not necessarily lacking from their lives, but wanting to make you apart of theirs, you don’t have to be close to everyone, not even friends, but you can be nice to everyone and still get far in life. I’m one of those people who people open up to feel comfortable around, I get asked questions, and especially asked about myself, one should always feel comfortable talking about ones self especially in the positive. The more you have going for you in life, the better off you will feel, others may not always make you feel good about yourself, that’s a judgment call on your behalf, you cannot help everyone. You would think that with training, and positivity you would be resilient to all types of stressors in life, but that’s not the case, some people rub off on you, and if you surround yourself with the wrong types of people in life, then you may be changed by the wrong people in life, why its important to always keep to yourself, not be easily affected by others. Im not sure where I was going with this, getting lost … Don’t be easily offended by others when they want something from you in life that you are not able to provide or do not want to provide to them, you are in charge of your own well being, and if people start to not like you because you are not putting out or befriending others, well than that’s not your responsibility to correct the problems of others, especially not by bedding them or allowing them to bed you. Eventually you stop. There are some people in life who attract the well, usually people who don’t have many friends, to themselves, and work hard. That’s who I was, once you drink and do drugs you attract a different type of person, someone who takes risks in life and lives for the moment, don’t be one of them. If you are comfortable with who you are, you won’t change or let loose for anyone.
Looking Back …
Looking back I’m sure we wish we would have all handled things differently, now upon realizing how short life is, you’d think once you had kids you would realize the cycle of life, even those without kids come to this harsh realization that our time is limited on earth, be easy on yourself and others, always keep in mind that everyone is doing their best, always see the good in others. Some days likewise I wish I wrote less on Twitter and maintained a private life, living in the public eye is not always advantageous to your health, sure others get to know you better, but are you really better off? When your fears come out to play, what can you do to reduce your fears from taking hold of your positive outlook in life, everything is clear looking backward. Everyone makes mistakes in life, we trust the wrong people, we take risks, and most of all we learn from what has gone wrong in our lives in order to build a better life and future for ourselves. There were times when things did not make sense, and we were not put together, there will be times when you look back and wonder what you saw and why, and why others responded to you in a way different from your positive outlook, we were all brought up differently. My Father showed me a photo of the LA Times building, I had no idea that that happened. They have been though a lot, I’m sure most of us they have sheltered our generation from, I’m not sure how much computers helped to assemble to past, but I’m sure they’ve helped with presentation at the present. Just stay positive … You can only shelter others so long, before you yourself become sick, by what they have feared and by what you have feared, by the time you realize what it is that they are fearing they feel better, and at your own investigatory expense become ill, don’t let that happen. There will be people that believe in the present at peace with themselves and there will be people who are not at peace with the present and themselves, why they say do not let anyone affect you. Who is it that is around you that is happy with where they are now, and what can you do at the present to continue to make them happy, by that happiness spreads, not fears, and by that you become happy not sad, about your past, or the past as led by others, always seek to improve not get set behind.