According to overcomingsocialanxiety.com, social “anxiety can cause us to sabotage relationships, and one of the key ways is backing away from honest and open discussions about our emotions.” In order to get help we are told to open up. Even on Facebook, the post prompt asks us to share our thoughts. But what if we are not comfortable enough with ourselves to share how we are feeling, share our thoughts, concerns, worries, or general understanding of ourselves and our outlook on life or on current events? In order to get help, we must first ask for help. “Receiving the support of those who are closest to you requires you to help them understand how you feel – and often that is only going to happen if you open up.”
What is Social Anxiety? According to Google’s Search Engine: “Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged, and criticized by others.” Which arises first? You’re social anxiety prior to engaging on Social Media, or is it Anxiety arising from participation on Social Media. Well that all depends on how much you participate, and whether you experienced any signs or symptoms prior to engaging on Social Media. Certainly starting your own Social Network away from everyone is not the correct response, to dealing with Social Anxiety. That’s exactly what I plan to do. (Create another Room of my Own - See Thank you Page).
For years I have tried to overcome Social Anxiety, by writing on Twitter everyday. I thought that this would help me overcome my fears and delusions about others, and the treatment received by others. I’m not sure what it was about me, or whether I was being discriminated, and I’m not sure whether writing on Social Media hurt this situation anymore than I already felt as though I was being treated differently than others. I always felt like people were harder on me than others, and never knew why. Was it because I went to rehab? Was it because I smoked pot in High School after I got Soccer Injuries. Was it because I was in a relationship? Was it because I was in Law School. Was it because I was Single and chose to be Celibate? Was it because I was an avid blogger on Twitter, writing everyday, even to people on Twitter via mentions. If this is not normal behavior than why is it okay for everyone else to blog online and not okay for me to blog online, I thought to myself. Why is it okay for other people to share their thoughts, articles, and photos on Facebook, but not okay for me to share on Facebook (Tumblr was suggested once). As always I’ve done my best not be insulted by others, and take their advice, and try new networks, and avoid those networks they think will create problems for me in the future. So where does that leave me? With the decision to try and create my own Social Network, separate from my website and blogs on Social Media. A place where I can go to town, and not be bothered by anyone watching me, and for anyone who enjoys reading my posts, such as my 300K+ Fans on Facebook, the more the merrier.
Social Anxiety is a real disorder. In fact it even causes me to hear voices from time to time, mindless chatter, or people talking $hit about me. Are the general types of voices I hear. Taunting and ridicule. These are not made up voices, but the voices of people I know, and sometimes repeated comments made by people I know about me, by other people, who I hear. That is why I have such a strong attachment to Music. To drown out the voices, so I can concentrate, and eventually get to quiet, is my goal each day, so that I can write and function. Sometimes the voices are so irritating that I punch my head, or even worse slam my head into a wall (that has only happened twice, once in 2011, and again this year, 2016).
What am I doing to overcome Social Anxiety? One things for sure, I’m confronting people with whom I have had problems with, and doing my best to make amends with them, and if not rekindle old friendships, while ending others in peace. #TaylorAdamsAM is the first friend I confronted, while overcoming Social Anxiety, and he turned out to be one of my best friends, ever. That is because I went through all my problems and thoughts with him, like he was a Facebook prompt, and shared what it was I was going through, and opened up as the Website suggests overcomingsocialanxiety.com.
In addition, I have decreased participation on Twitter, and increased participation on Facebook, to overcome Social Anxiety. In order to confront those with whom I have had problems with in the past, its important to speak in a forum where they can find me, not by myself to 2000 unknown friends/strangers by username mymollydoll. When talking to a friend on Facebook she asked me what mymollydoll was, and I should have just responded its my username on Twitter. But instead went through a whole pitch with her in New York, about doing something with quotes and starting a campaign for a campaign, and building my own website. That’s when she suggested Tumblr. Great idea, I discovered Fashion Blogging, which I soon became good at, and was even scouted and requested to participate as a Style Curator on Sassique.com. It’s also where I started brainstorming for my Campaign #BloggingCampaign (formerly #BradyMusicCampaign). These are some of the changes I made in 2016 to overcome Social Anxiety.
Whenever, you feel alone and feel like you have no one to talk to, the best place to go is Facebook. That’s where I got the quickest response. Glorious Visions is a great friend and all, even messaged me on Twitter, telling me he supports me knowing that I was going through a difficult time, but we don’t even know eachother that well, he knows me well, but I barely know him. It’s helpful to get support from your followers online, but the best support afterall comes from your friends and family on Facebook, during difficult times. I spent 3 years writing on Twitter everyday, and thought that I had it made, and was doing great, and then I got trashed, computer snapped in half and cell phone taken away cut off. I go huh? Why now? Why because I called 911 to report Keith, and complain that he had sent me on a Cocaine run, in which I got sexually assaulted hitching a ride home from a stranger, because I don’t have Uber and my cell phone died. I’m an LLM Masters in Law Student minding my own business, and I get asked to go out into the World to get an 8 Ball for my Boyfriend’s Client, was it worth it? I loved him so I was willing to do anything to make him happy. I had papers to write, it wasn’t really the best time for me to be going out into the World when I was in concentration mode, spacey.
What am I doing now, in terms of Social Media? Well first off I started this Blog on Weebly in 2016, and its going great, so far so good. The first version of this Website was dedicated to all my delusions about life and how the World works, and what I’ve been traumatized by and what I plan on doing to help alleviate that trauma and get involved. Well I’m not exactly putting together a Counterrorism plan as I initially thought possible, but I have gotten involved in Campaigns such as #StopSchoolShootings and #EndGunViolence Online. These are Twitter Hashtag Campaigns, but nonetheless, just as powerful as a Non-Profit, except you can do so for Free, help by contributing to these Hashtags. So I started my own Hashtag #BloggingCampaign (formerly #BradyMusicCampaign). Given my experience as a Crisis Hotline Counselor, I wanted to create a Hashtag in which I could share things other than just News about Gun Violence and Gun Legislation, but also things to help others Cope with Gun Violence and get their minds off the trauma and fear of recurring incidences of Gun Violence. So I share Music, Quotes, and Fashion, to continue to build Awareness without scaring my audience or re-traumatizing them with discussion of these incidences of Gun Violence.
I also am starting to Volunteer for Moms Demand, and will attend meetings for Brady Campaign, invited by The President of the LA Chapter of Brady Campaign, to attend meetings at her home, private meetings. I’m really excited about all the progress I’ve made, and hope that you all are pleased with how far I have come as a Blogger. I hope to continue to improve, while building my Websites and participating online on Social Media, and perhaps my very own Social Network one day for all things MYMOLLYDOLL. –Thank you for reading this blog post, and if you’re new welcome to MYMOLLYDOLL, and if you’re a returning fan, thank you for following and reading along my journey to success and financial independence. I may be a Volunteer now, but hopefully I can get a paid position one day working for a Non-Profit, that would be my dream, if not be a Free Lance Paralegal to Attorneys on the Westside, drafting Motions (was my first dream). Good news, I just got a Job as a Paralegal drafting Family Law Motions, and studying Business Law, handling Bankruptcy Cases.