Its usually not until after you speak, that greater acceptances of you are achieved, everyone holds their own standards of who to speak to and who not to speak to, based upon their beliefs of what well is. It is by your own wellness, and ability to speak, or articulate yourself, that you are respected in society, that will never change, and if someone is so disinterested in you so as not to speak to you, then allow that space to take place, its not your responsibility to be spoken to by everyone, that doesn’t always indicate whether you are a likeable person overall based upon individual acceptances of you granted. If some do not reply, that is simply because they do not believe in you, or likewise have interpreted your past as described in the negative, thinking that you bear guilt, or knowingly by who you are, have insulted others, by existing in life, everyone has the right to exist in real life, and everyone has the right to exist online, your existence should not change or alter the opinions of others, and by existing online, one should still be able to maintain rights to privacy, regarding their current condition, and conditions past, are not for public knowledge, especially not to benefit the negative judgments held of an individual to whom they do not think is deserving of respect, a job, or a companion, those are they who think an individual did not accurately represent themselves, and in doing so, did not accurately represent others, and if that much can be proven, than any later negative judgments of them help to improve that hatred toward them as though deserved, that’s not always the case. Anyone who so willingly comes forward and asks for help, is not at fault, anyone who so willingly presents themselves to others, is not at fault, anyone whos condition is altered or made worse, is not responsible for their own health, and anyone who is doing their best to stay well, and not interfere with the good health of others is not at fault. If every joke was a joke on you, then you would understand my position, that’s not the purposes for lawsuits, to publicly shame a person, to a suicidal condition, or draw overall inferences of them, as being detestable by societys standards, that’s trying to justify suit, by later bringing about a worse condition of someone, or to promulgate further insight as to their standards of care of themselves, as being justified as causing their own conditions in life, that is to free from blame those who do not like, or think poorly of a person, no I am not responsible for my suicide attempts, and no I am not responsible for what other people think, and no I am not responsible for the acts of others, responding to the conditions of others, via public displays, and no I do not think it is fair to be made fun of, based upon movies, or tv shows, hating on someone who has yet to achieve a career in life, and has yet to be able to earn a living in life, I do not think my chances of survival should be limited based upon what inferences can be drawn based upon what is shown in public, as related to my condition, or the condition of others, which has been further exacerbated by embarrassment, due to an inability to respond to any unforeseen public ridicule that may have resulted, from admiring a person in public, or stating who I am dating in public, or writing about such circumstances in public, that’s for no one to judge why my relationships do not work out, or why I have been separated from my friends, forced to represent myself in life, without their help, or via discussion with them, of what other people think. It is not my responsibility to guide discussions about me, without me being present, it is my responsibility however to live life, and to not further misrepresent myself or others, and do my best to be a positive touchstone, in life, not someone, who everyone sees, and thinks poorly of, that’s in regards to my ability to manage my mental health issues, and not become famous, as apart of, but to achieve on my own, without assistance or connections created based upon knowing others in life, that’s not how success is achieved in life, its by you upholding yourself to positive characteristics or traits, deemed acceptable to others, staying normal, not by standing out, or deviating from the norm, and not by calling attentions to yourself, for sympathies in life.
You can never have too many friends, and the friends we keep throughout the years, are irreplaceable. According to thehopeline.com, here are several ways to be a good friend: (1) be real, (2) be honest, (3) be a good listener, (4) make time for your friend, (5) keep their secrets, (6) encourage your friend, (7) be loyal, (8) be willing to work through conflict, and (9) Watch out for your friend.  Never give up on your friends, we all go through troubles in life and face challenges, its okay to go out of your way to help them, “never half-ass things when it comes to your friends.”  Its often times when we need help the most, we seldom ask for help, especially from friends, not wanting to bother them with our troubles in life. That’s normal. Don’t forget to “follow-up” with your friends, and check in with them, that’s half the battle when it comes to maintaining friends, how easily we get wrapped up in our own lives, or problems, and forget to keep in touch with friends, the sooner you let go, the more difficult it becomes getting back in touch with them, some you are forever bonded to, but not all.  “How can you avoid a falling out with someone you’ve long trusted and cared about? Start by accepting the fact that you can only change yourself. And, almost always, fixing a friendship is a matter of fixing yourself.”  Know that if you get help from a friend, there will be expectation of improvement, especially after making an amends to them, don’t let your friends down. According to psychologytoday.com, “It's no fun when you put effort into helping someone and that individual doesn't follow through. People want to help those who they're sure will act on the help or advice offered.”  Not only will you benefit from having taken the advice of someone you have received help from but you will also in turn help “boost the mood of the helper.”  That’s ones way of being a good friend, even if youre in a tough spot in life, its helps them to help you sometimes, so don’t be afraid to talk to them, or shy away from friendships in life, just because you have problems, sometimes we make friends, while going through troubles in life, “Sometimes you need another person’s wisdom, guidance.” 
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The longer you stay unhappy the more harm you suffer, as it turns out, you get less done when in a bad mood than when you are in a good mood. So stay happy! Figure out what keeps you feeling centered and stay there, if its ruminating about the past, that’s getting you down, then focus on what days lie before you, not overfocus on what has passed. To better your life, or any condition, you have to stay positive. They don’t just say that, so that you will be more pleasant to be around, the results show, that when you are in tune with your surroundings, and when you are feeling well, you accomplish more in life, if life is about being task-oriented, and goal driven, then you’ll need to maintain some kind of stability, to the way you think about life, to help manage how you feel about your life. According to Spencer Sekulin, “The seeds of happiness and misery begin in your mind. How you think affects how you act. How you act affects how you feel. How you feel affects everything else.”  Don’t become “addict[ed] to unhappiness” … according to psychologytoday.com, “Lifelong struggles with trauma or other negative experiences may fuel an unconscious desire to continually return to the status quo of unhappiness.”  You are not powerless to your thoughts, you are able to control the way you think, and if you can control the way you think, you will in turn be able to control the way you feel about people, places, things, and especially the past. In todays day and age its easy to become triggered, lacking control over what we are exposed to in the news, or on tv, at some point you become an adult, and learn how to filter out any unwanted information, you may come across in life, whether its personal information about others, you do not know, or by exposure, looking into things, and finding out information about self or others, you wish was not said about you, or said period, not all writings or photos will be favorable to your best interests, its mostly people just representing themselves online, that you will have to learn to accept, everyones faux pas, and shortcomings, when it comes to public speaking, disclosures, and image quality, which does not always necessarily accurately reflect the self-esteem of the person, or their mental health status, how you express yourself to the world, if often different than how you feel while alone, and how you vent in private, is probably not how you speak in public, when addressing a crowd of people, this you learn the hard way, how to be professional and not over-disclose information about yourself in private or in public, as this interferes with your ability to communicate fluidly with others, or find yourself among, it often times leaves you feeling distant from others, post disclosures, that’s just you addressing your needs for affirmation in life, which wont always be granted back toward you. Sometimes while unhappy you’ll then find yourself trying harder because youre unhappy, “Dissatisfaction becomes a motivator to work harder, change jobs, eat healthier, spend more time with friends and family, or prevent unwanted behaviors or situations.”  Always take the positive spin on events that change your life for the worst, the better able you are to compartmentalize your thoughts about incidences past, the better you will feel in the long run, having processed what caused you to think negative, and why you were feeling unhappy, and recognize what it is you are doing now for yourself to maintain happiness, that’s called recognizing your value, and reinforcing your self-esteem, which may or may not have been brought down by others, but by yourself. Note that: “Those who blame everything but themselves are blind to the path of self-improvement.”  –“Fear”  can often times interfere with our ability to be happy, and thus slow down the process of “self-improvement.”  “One of the most common responses to fear is that you can’t do something, and while freezing or shutting down, go into a “negative habit pattern”  that doesn’t always serve what is in your best interests, which is to stay positive and be happy. Visualize where you want to be in life, and by visualizing where you want to be in life, you are “feeding your mind … positive mental pictures of yourself performing at your best”  this may include thinking about your prior achievements, not just your failures, and what you did to overcome setback in the past, and stick to a methodology that works for you, to overcome those fears now and in the future. Don’t be “held back” by your fears in life, “The Law of Reversibility says that “If you feel a certain way, you will act in a manner consistent with that feeling.”  Therefore disciplining yourself, until that fear goes away, learn first how to switch gears, transforming a bad day into a good day, and soon enough your life will change too, and overall picture and outlook in life, will hopefully then become more positive, as your actions, thoughts, beliefs and feelings reflect that new found control, “Your ability to confront, deal with, and act in spite of your fears is the key to happiness and success.” 
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Whenever you like someone, first off, always be positive, jokes to or about, especially talking about others is a huge turn off, to anyone considering you, for a like back. Be confident not problematic, the more problems you share, the heavier you feel, the more difficult to love you become, and the more space they give you. Don’t be combative, there is a time and a place for complaining, never to anyone you love complain, you may receive complaints, but don’t complain about its likely to offend those in your company, who expect you to be happy when theyre around. Life is short, but whats even shorter is the time spent with others, in order to be successful in any relationship, you have to have a life of youre own, don’t become too obsessed with the lives of others, the more comfortable you are living your own life, the more likely others will be to include you in their lives. You can’t just third wheel relationships in life, these types of relationships usually occur when youre alone, and in between dating, tend to be more attracted toward those who have it all in life, to be surrounded by those with lives, and have them be equally attracted to you, you have to be confident with yourself, not ashamed of your progress in life (ie social status); be mindful of the privileges you do have in life. Be goal-oriented, have goals in life, beyond just hooking up or dating, its when youre not thinking about others, others think about you, its when youre not looking, others are looking at you, and its when you don’t have much in life going for you, that you need to try harder, and its when you work hard, you are gifted more privileges in life, that’s just how life goes, unfortunately for most, we spend more time alone trying to achieve to have those short moments of success, and so be it, chosen or not chosen, you have to love yourself, if you ever want to become someones mate later in life, no matter who youre attracted to in between. Think for yourself, not for others, usually those most admired in life, are those with thoughts and opinions of their own, able to carry on a conversation, not reliant upon the other for a lift, the better able you are at lifting others, the more likely they will come to during times of need or stability, if you cannot provide stability, its unlikely that you will be deemed a catch, and left alone until you achieve the stability required to be in relationships in life, have friends, keep your friends, and don’t drop your friends, when its time to have a relationship, make sacrifices in life, but don’t sacrifice your social life, to accommodate the insecurities of another, all relationships require trust, be trustworthy, and reliable, if you want to be loved back. Not everyone will be a match in life, and the relationships that do work out in the long run, are between those who are patient with one another not in need of eachother, but able to function independently on their own, without the other, that’s called bonded, when you don’t need constant reassurances, feel close to someone, even when youre not with them, or with them around, always maintain loyalties to those you love.
The key to being productive is setting goals for yourself. In fact, most leaders are task-oriented. Know your priorities in life, that means be able “to sort tasks, decide their importance and create a plan to complete those tasks is essential. When you prioritize tasks, try sorting them by order of urgency, effort required and deadline.”  Know your responsibilities in life, and be able to “communicate your plans and goals to team members, whether through email, one-on-one conversations or group meetings.”  And lastly, have some sort of strategy for accomplishing your goals in life, and if you are a leader “you must be able to implement processes that your team can understand and follow.”  Create a schedule for yourself, and if you are a leader, be able to help others follow a schedule too by “implement[ing] shared, interactive calendars and to-do lists and have employees submit regular process updates.”  As a blogger, you will experience plenty of moments where you feel compelled to campaign for yourself or others, feeling the sense of empowerment of having a following, and wanting to speak to everyone in a way to help change them, or share your viewpoints about the issues that you care about. Be careful not to become too opinionated, and lose your audience, over-caring about the times, and becoming so affected and emotional, that you yourself become unstable as the writer, always maintain some kind of balance, where your audience is not affected equally, by whats been bothering you, and if youre happy with the times, then say so, and if there is more that you can do to help others, then do so, that’s part of the creative process of establishing an identity for yourself as a blogger, its not quite the helping professions, but likewise you are there for others, and able to help them in ways that others have not yet been able to help them or get through to them, you are doing a service to your community, whether you know it or not, keep up the good work! As you develop as a blogger online its important to keep track of your progress, whether taking down notes daily, of your ideas, or simply logging in activities or tasks that you get done along the way, personally and professionally, that’s being organized about your time. Activecampaign.com suggests the following, “As thoughts arise during your work, jot them down. Once you reach a break in your work, you can come back and either tackle them or add them to your larger to-do list.”  To be well liked, and to earn a 5 out of 5 on a Facebook Page, you have to care about your audience, that goes without saying, and in order to care for anyone, you have to care well for yourself. Know that your health comes first, no matter how much you try to help others, you are always limited to sharing what you yourself have experienced first hand or learned about through school or continuing your education, not just by reading online, and summarizing the work of others, that wouldn’t be a blog, by citations only. Figure out what makes you unique to your audience, and keep doing what is working for you, as a writer, and make sure to continue to receive permissions along the way, that’s how to build partnerships, and to get into programs, by asking questions. I might not be in that phase yet, does shareasale.com count? Banners. I guess so. Never give up, as a blogger, much of what you learn is self-taught, that’s why its such a competitive profession, no one can really guide you through the process of establishing a blog, you may get pointers along the way, but its you that comes up with the content, make sure to do your best.
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Start by liking yourself, especially if youre not happy with the way you look now. Its just looks, remind yourself, that you can change, take better care of yourself, and achieve a look that pleases you. Don’t change to be better accepted by others, change because you want to! According to girlshealth.org,
“Body image is affected by a lot of things, including messages you get from your friends, family, and the world around you. ... Sometimes, having body image issues or low self-esteem may lead to depression, eating disorders, or obesity.” 
As someone who has gone up and down with their weight in recent years … being thinner does not necessarily make you a happier person. Im much happier now overweight than I was when thinner, you have to have the right mindset whenever you choose to diet and exercise excessively to lose the weight, don’t beat yourself up over how you look, or you’ll never be happy no matter what size you are. As someone on meds, battling depression, and trying to lose weight and keep off the weight has been a grueling task, involving walking everyday. Its easy to give up in life, when it comes to dieting, and the sooner you lose the weight unhealthily cutting calories, if not meals from your diet, the quicker you gain all the weight back, the minute you start eating 3 meals a day again. According to shape.com:
“Any form of depression, no matter how mild, affects neurotransmitters that control mood, thinking, appetite, and behavior, making you more likely to eat poorly, skip exercise, and gain weight.” 
Set a schedule for yourself, and keep track of your exercise -I keep a log. Not only does that keep you motivated month to month, but you can easily track your progress, and figure out whats working for you and not working for you. Everyones body is different, some on meds respond better to exercise than others, I know that being on meds, means that I will have accept being a bigger size in life, and that its important to take my meds, whether I am able to lose the weight or not. I highly doubt that I will be able to lose 50lbs in a year, but its worth trying to, sometimes you have to set more realistic goals for yourself, in order to begin the process of achieving your ideal body type, set smaller goals, to achieve larger ones.
No matter whos in your life now, or whos with us now, appreciate and value how far you’ve come, and if life is feeling long, well then youre right on track. The days should feel short, if youre keeping busy, and falling asleep with ease, well that’s a job well done, and means you have something to look forward to tomorrow, whether it’s a personal project or work that keeps you moving forward in life, don’t stop at whatever is working for you. Its okay from time to time to go backwards and be afraid of moving forwards in life, the tendency is to think that more is required of you to disclose, than is necessary to any relationship, work or otherwise. Do you know who you are, yes? Okay do they know who you are, yes? Okay then that’s all youre required to disclose, leave the past in the past, and your medical history, keep private. Sometimes work and relationships don’t happen for you in life, if your plate is too full, or if youre not feeling well, and disclose too much about how youre feeling, and if youre not feeling well, then its okay to take a medical leave of absence. No one really wants to hear that youre struggling in life, why people usually leave you alone, if so, just do your best to reintegrate yourself into society, and be a functioning member again, this takes time. If youre not feeling well, adaa.org states that:
“Depression can impact every area of your life, including but not limited to how you sleep and eat, your education and career, your relationships, health, and concentration. Individuals suffering from depression often also have comorbid disorders, such as alcohol and drug abuse or other addictions. Depression doesn’t just occur for an individual in vacuum; it can affect your friends, family, co-workers, and everyone around you.” 
You have to keep going in life, allow people to have lives of their own, and you should have a life of your own. No one can live life for you, that’s for you to decide, how to live your life, and whatever you decide to do, be sure not to self-harm in the process of recovering from whatever is ailing you, set yourself further behind in life. We all go through hardships, and face difficulties, fitting in, and feeling successful, and being apart of, especially when we are not feeling at our best, tend to shy away from engaging in activities, that used to bring us joy. Why is it that when we are doing well, everything happens, and when things aren’t going right everything stops. Ive always wondered that. As your life begins to improve, take small steps when backtracking, and make sure to do so with a therapist, not your boyfriends or significant others, or friends, chances are they have their own viewpoints and vision of how they see the world, that when collided with your troubles, makes them think about what has bothered them in the past, that’s a group therapy thing, not for everyday conversation, just do your best!
No life is perfect, you can sit and ruminate and get nothing done, or you can be positive, pick up a book, read, write, or do something to pass the time, that does not involve self-harming, such as being social, and not drinking or doing drugs recreationally, to feel good. Today I sat at the DMV for 2 hours, and went on a 2 hour and 30 minute run, time well spent. Some days you will have energy, and other days, during bouts of depression, will feel unmotivated to try hard in life. Whatever you do, don’t stop, and keep going in life. I never really understood what that meant until I go put on night meds, sometime, after law school, with an unfinished JD, beginning my LLM, got into another masters program, a better school, an ABA approved law school. I think for the most part, your story is your story, unless you make your story public, then it becomes apart of other peoples stories in life, having known you, and heard from you, knowing about you, and your struggles in life, be a positive influence always, and inspiration to others, or otherwise take a backseat as follower to others, whos wellness, may or may not be based on being more well than you, for some that keeps them going in life, to know that they are more well off than others, or above others to say the least. Don’t let that get the best of you, everyone has confidence issues, and for some being confident is about their wellness, and ability to achieve in life, which may or may not have anything to do with you, whether you are competition or inspiration to the intellgiences of others, do your best to contribute in a positive way to the shared thoughts of others or “group conscious” and do not interfere with the wellness of others, sharing about your past, or past inabilities to stay well, as this may contribute to triggering the pasts of others, or emotions as empathizing with your positions in life, or worst moments, people generally shy away from interaction with those who have struggled in life, how many homeless people do you know? And/or are close to? Exactly … eventually you fall so far off the beaten path of normalcy, that eventually people detach once you become not well, that doesn’t mean that you are like those who have left society, for a worse off existence or livelihood, know your best, you may no longer benefit from your surroundings in the same way others are able to, but that doesn’t mean that youre less worthy of living an important existence in life, blogging is surely not the way to be remembered in life, but rather by your work skills, accolades, academic achievements, etc. that you are able to get jobs, and keep going in life, if not, suffering results from lack of ability which is a result of your inability to stay focused now and achieve, see how that all ties together in the long run. Think about what youre doing now, and whether that is going to help or hurt your abilities later on in life, not all are privileged in ways, that they are able, many suffer the consequences of their disabilities in life, and finding work their suited for … writing is not an easy profession, experimental at best until you are are able to earn a living doing what you love to do, write. If necessary do take jobs that expand your skillset, do try changes to your career path and take courses outside of the scope of your current educational goals, everything helps, and the more well rounded you are in life, the better able you will be to adjust to the times, get jobs, stay social, and live a healthy and happy existence, that is not congruent to whats going wrong in the world, and have every happiness affected easily, when things do not go right in life.
When your hay days are over, never forget where you come from, its likely you were surrounded by people you would not usually hang out with, out, who help you get nowhere in life, it’s the relationships we keep that matter most. Make quality friends along the way, that aren’t based on doing drugs or drinking with, let alone have romantic relationships in life, that are built upon those same foundations in life. Stay sober. There is so much more to life, Im not saying that everyone who does yoga and hikes are the only ones at peace with themselves, but … they have something going for them in life, they do things not everyone does. How to be one of those people? Can you stay centered when the times are tough, or do you have outbursts, frustrated with the world and with others. Tips for staying centered by mentalhealthamerica.net are :
As you grow and mature and come to find yourself, you’ll grow out of certain things in life, including humor. Especially when youre taking life seriously. In fact, Nando Raynolds M.A., argues that: “Humanity in general is maturing and behaviors that were socially acceptable in the past have become widely unacceptable.”  Why is this? Its not just movies, that stopped using comedy, its seems that the more scary life becomes, the greater the need for social acceptability in behaviors and commentary, that is that less of us are open to negativity from others, even in a humorous way, everything taken seriously, and nothing taken lightly. Don’t be so threatened by those you don’t understand in life, your safety is paramount, and in order to make others feel safer around you, its important that you stay stable, whether that’s by maintaining sobriety, or just working and being an outstanding human, keep busy, and contribute in positive ways, not by relishing on the days when you were in your 20s and invisible, those days may be long gone, however don’t lose positive momentum, when looking back, you are still you! Enjoy life. -What is staying centered? According to counselingrecovery.com: “Staying centered” is an internal experience of feeling calm and confident within yourself. It’s a feeling of deep trust in one’s abilities or intuition.”  Remind yourself of your self-worth, know your affirmations, and when you start to believe in yourself again, don’t go back through those phases in life, keep moving forward. We all make mistakes in life, and at times exercise poor judgment, which affects our behavior, how we sound, and how we look -be positive inside out. When you express yourself, from a good place in life, others listen, that’s not because you are someone they wish they were, but because you have overcome your struggles, usually first to identify your progress, are your loved ones, you will know when you are better, when everyone seems at ease around you, that’s you being at ease with yourself. Note that progress in life, and pat yourself on the back, you’ve come a long way!
The tendency when things are not going right is to be critical of others, and even worse critical of ourselves. For those of us who are hyper analytical, we’ll think and think of all the ways we could have done a better job, and at the same time, while trying to better ourselves, put ourselves down in the process, of trying to fix whats gone wrong, make our amends, and move forward in life. Life is not perfect, and as the saying goes “no one is perfect.” Whenever we try to achieve a norm, the only person we are selling short in life, is ourselves, theres always something more attractive about being unique, than it is to fit in with the rest, there will always be standards, but don’t match your standards to what pleases others, youre bound to feel ill and lose your competitive edge in life, comparing yourself to others, that’s not how to better oneself, always be the best version of yourself, you cannot replicate the times, you cannot replicate people, “you can’t replace people,” even worse yet, you cannot replace time lost in the past, not being happy with yourself, think then of all the opportunities, you had missed out on, putting yourself down, staying home, not being proactive, and keeping your problems to yourself, if you want more in life, be a stickler about what needs work, but don’t beat yourself up over it, recovery is a process, and “change doesn’t happen overnight.” -Why is it important to be positive during difficult times? There is a time and a place for correcting the behaviors of others, and there is a time and a place for greater acceptance of others, during difficult times, sometimes it helps to say it how it is, we see strength in people like that, and sometimes its best to listen and go with the flow, have a sense of direction in life, and don’t become so spoiled and content when things are good, that you stop improving upon your best, there is always time to do work, educate oneself, and further ones intelligences in life, this can only lead to greater combinations of success later in life, the more knowledgeable you become, the better able you are to cope with whatever life throws at you, including the times.
I’m not saying that loving more is the solution to your problems, to resolve loneliness, but sometimes having a crush here and there helps to pass the time, but don’t become dependent on those you admire to get you out of a rut in life, its usually stability that is craved and given attentions to, not those who are needy of the time and attentions of others. Once you figure yourself out, whether its getting a job, losing weight, finishing a degree, and achieving happiness on your own first, that’s when you find value to your life, aside from sharing a life with another, which is a big step, but sometimes not the best step in the right direction when it comes to establishing a career for yourself, sacrificing time for yourself to please another. There will always be time to date, never rush into any important decisions in life, you can’t settle down with just anyone, however if you wait too long, it may be difficult to get back out there, so find a careful balance between micro-managing your own life crises while making time to be social and get to know others. Its when you least expect it love comes around, usually someone you are not vying for attentions from, someone who gives you attention right off the bat, those are the ones who deserve your love and attention, we all like a challenge, but sometimes love comes easily to those who are most confident, have the ability to pick and choose who they want to be with, we are not all that fortunate in life, to find love, some of us spend many years alone before we are willingly to open back up to someone, or to someone new. Waiting to date is about valuing yourself, and when you value yourself, and have confidence, and high self-esteem, then with that sense of self, you are easier to be around, making those you love feel more at ease and comfortable with themselves, that stability you are able to provide comes from making good decisions for oneself, not just dating anyone or whos around, don’t sacrifice your best self, to make any one person happy, and if someone grows to be unhappy with you, its okay to leave those relationships, if you don’t need them, then you are under no obligations to stay with anyone, its usually later in life, you become more needy wishing you had someone to share your life with, those aren’t mistakes leaving relationships, it was just your focus at the time to focus on career, whatever your objectives are in life, stay true to yourself, and as the saying goes, “you will always find better.” -Keep in mind when dating, to keep those interactions private, until you are ready to go public with a relationship, especially if you blog or share statuses on Facebook, its not something to brag about, especially with consideration for those who are not dating or do not yet have love in their lives, everyone goes through different phases in life, be happy for those who have settled down, and do your best to be one of them too one day. You’ll be a much happier person, having waited, than having wasted time loving the wrong people in life, trust me youre not missing out, waiting for booty calls in life, the right ones will come around, and those you feel like you have to chase in life, just let them go.
Intelligence in a Google.com world, seems like all our questions can be answered, that no matter what your life essential needs are, any level of intelligence is capable of becoming more intelligent, with access to the internet and computer or smart phone. I’m not sure whos more popular nowadays, 911 or Google.com, why is it that when we don’t know something we feel like we have to know something, and now that that need can be fulfilled, why are we still not able to stay well, and be happy? What types of intelligences help us, and what types of information hurt our ability to think and thrive. There seems to be an ongoing nervous pressure to succeed nowadays, no one feeling smart enough, even with ¾ a JD and an LLM, a near PhD in Law, even I have trouble achieving at times, hospitalized, even with all my questions answered. What is the sense of peace that communication with people brings? And how is the way we communicate vital to our overall health as a community online? Why is not feeling able so painful, is that depression, or is that just not maintaining a positive attitude toward self, and ones abilities in life? Is it necessary that we compare our lives to others, or their intelligences achieved in life? It seems counter-intuitive that with more information at our disposal there is still educational challenges, in fact one study by Institute of Medicine (US) Committee on Advancing Pain Research, Care, and Education, states that: “pain is extremely widespread in American society, exacts a huge toll in suffering and disability, and imposes extraordinary costs on the health care system and the nation’s economy.”  In fact, holding “inaccurate views” may have an adverse affect on our “optimal timing,” aren’t those the goals of health websites online, “patient education?” This study states that those with pain, “They deserve information that can help them understand and address their condition.”  Education online, not only helps people to make informed decisions, but it also helps one “prevent and manag[e] pain” by knowing the “availability of methods” they have to relieve pain. Not feeling smart enough is not a recognized disability, you’re expected to study hard and get jobs, and if you don’t feel smart enough, expected to “fake it until you make it,” by all means continue your education online, or switch professions if you have to, but who has time to make life changes, sometimes we expect that the work that has been done, will provide us with opportunities later in life, but what if that never happens? Can you thrive on learning alone, live a good life, well that’s as much as I have had planned for myself so far in life, so far so good. You cant fake confidence, and paychecks are not easy to get in life, not with disabilities, and a track record of hospitalizations on meds, sometimes you have to work at your own speed in life, make sure not to compare yourself to others, if you have disabilities in life, and maintain faith in yourself, that you can do anything you set your mind to. Finding a paid job that matches ones abilities in life, is a blessing, and if all else fails, and you have to create a job for yourself, working from home, then do so, it has been the best decision I have made for myself, moving forward in life, to stay up to date with my skills in writing, writing a book, and working on my LLM, no matter what jobs I have.
 Id at 1.
Im not gonna say it’s an easy road, but it can be done, overcoming failure. We have all experienced lapses in judgment, when our attitudes positive, and egos are high, we sometimes tend to make bad decisions. Go with the flow, but not at your own expense. Socialization is supposed to benefit you, not hurt you in the long run, its not your friends, that are to blame, its your time management skills. Its important to keep a balance in life, spending time with family, working, and making time for friendships along the way. Friendships are important, psychologytoday.com, states that: “Friendships help to improve our happiness, confidence, worth, and coping while giving us a sense of belonging.” However, not all friendships last, and sometimes when we are going through difficult times, “Friendships may dwindle due to a difference in investment of time and energy.”  This can be depressing, trust that those who are your real friends, will be there for you in the years to come, some of the best friendships always pick up from where they left off, that’s how you know who your real friends are. No one wants to be the rehab friend, or the friend that gets hospitalized for being bipolar, I was one of them. Although I may have experienced a lot of hardships in life, I’ve always been able to maintain a positive attitude toward self and others, that is primarily how I have been able to overcome hardships, and setbacks in life. Keep your career going, and if one thing does not work out, keep going and find something else to do. According to Mark Manson in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, “failures … are what lead to a better understanding of whats necessary to be successful.”  Furthermore he states that, “acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience” , at the time you may be worried what others think as you are going through a difficult time, but chances are people are more concerned with their own lives, and what your going though is nothing more than a blurb in conversations about you, nothing really to worry about. Have some self control, its not all about you, people care more than you think, and while you may be feeling negative, never assume that other are feeling similarly negative toward you or speaking badly of you and your hardships. Everyone has their own lives. People root more than you think.
 Id at 1.
 Id at 3.
Know your potential, and don’t sell yourself short in life, not for anyone or anything. When depression hits, it hits hard, it’s a result of unhappiness with yourself, and where you are in life, don’t let that happen to you! Stay goal-oriented. Positivepsychology.com, states that: “… goals affect the intensity of our actions and our emotions – the more difficult and valued a goal is, the more intense our efforts will be in order to attain it, and the more success we experience following achievement (Latham & Locke, 2006).”  Your past is not always the best indicator of future success, know that you can and will overcome hardships in life, and that you can do anything you set your mind to. Goal setting has been viewed as an intervention technique, not just to avoid failures past or future, but to set our mind to what we want in life, and to stay committed to those personal endeavors in life. “Thinking positively about the future bolsters our ability to create goals and consider the actions required to achieve them.”  The times may be difficult, but “How you think of a difficult situation is everything.”  It’s the difference between allowing the times to control your abilities in life, and taking charge of your life, and doing your best in spite of your circumstances whatever they may be. Sure we all have unwanted thoughts, and face unwanted pressures in life, but that doesn’t mean that you should allow others to control you, its important to stay true to yourself and do your best in spite of whatever is going on around you, that not only shows that you are a strong person, but that you have the potential for future success too, the better able you are to manage your stresses earlier on in life, the better off you’ll be. According to keckmedicine.org, “In your 30s, it can be harder to maintain a work-life balance as your responsibilities” change, resulting in “Lack of satisfaction, growth and fulfillment at work may also become a source of stress in this decade of life.”  No matter what, keep going in life, whether you have it all, or you think you should have more in life, know that you are blessed, live life with purpose, and always express gratitude toward those who help you along the way, they’ll be glad to see you doing better in life, once you start achieving again. We all experience slow downs in our careers, change paths from time to time, get different jobs, date different people, all of these changes make you who you are, and show that you have the ability to withstand all kinds of pressures in life. Don’t lose faith in the strength that you have exuded in the past, and find yourself again!
 Id at 1.
It would be wise to say that campaigns help us, why else would someone campaign for causes to support. But what are you supporting when you support a campaign? According to Tamler Sommers in Why Honor Matters, “solidarity [has been proven to] significantly correlat[e] with greater well-being and a reduction in the incidence of depressive symptoms.”  With recent suicides and death following an overdose, it seems that our inner group solidarity is not strong enough. Would it be wise to take on subjects one does not relate to, when choosing campaigns to support, or should we stick to what we know best, ourselves, and how we have been affected. Does harping on the problems at hand help or hurt our esteems overall. “Although solidarity is valuable for all communities, it has special importance for communities in the environments in which honor norms tend to emerge.”  I was thinking, this is exactly why my neighborhood has bikes and scooters, to improve upon group solidarity, keeping us busy. What helps to combat depression anyways? According to healthline.com, “Depression can drain your energy, leaving you feeling empty and fatigued.”  Its important to be goal oriented, set small goals to achieve a larger purpose in life, but don’t set your purpose in life to the campaign you support, its likely everytime a problem arises you’ll take a hit. That’s not the point of supporting causes to get hurt while caring, that would be counterproductive. Its common for, “depressive symptoms disrupt your daily routine”  which explains why every time something bad happens, we get more and more depressed about it, but know the difference between the life you lead, and the life lead by others, although living in similar, we all face different challenges in life, that affect our daily outputs, don’t be judgmental toward those who are symptomatic, just be understanding that everyone has different thresholds, when it comes to caring.
 Id at 1.
 Id at 3.
This Cocoon was made with class, not overtime, in real time, built brick by brick, square by square, book by book, post by post, how I was able to generate a 45k/month following. You have to have a philosophy in life that you can stick to, what works for you, and go from there. Don’t worry about the dramas of business, or who knows who, or who knows what, or who thinks what, you’ll never get to a planned destination in time, so long as you are in constant worry of what others think, let alone manage your own health, and day by day, improve. Its easier to take something that’s already been built, and do something with it (i.e. Like a wheel to a car) than it is to build something “from scratch.” Its by who your influences in life are, that help to shape you, your outlook, and your ability to weather through all storms. A good business-man or woman is someone who does not make hasty decisions, is a careful decision-maker, and never sets up too high of expectations of oneself, but never fails to meet a mark in life, that’s someone who can weather a storm. Not all are equipped to handle the types of social pressures that exist these days, when it comes to creating and making ideas happen, in the positive, poor decision making usually does not wind up in the negative, but it can, to highlight possibilities in the negative would be doing a disservice to all who have cared and will continue to care. -Who supported who should not determine who is here now. #theworldisabigplace
Sometimes its not always your fault, but chances are if you have had a drinking or drug use problem, addiction will be to blame, not your blogging. Your loss of friends is your fault, either behaviorally or emotionally, you were not there for them, and as a result, of your problem, you lost friends. Losing friends can take its toll, it has been said that, “Dealing with bad friends, getting dumped by them, and feeling disappointed with them is a stressful part of life, and it can harm your body and mind.”  Which is all the more reason to be a good friend, stay sober, and get your life back on track. Jim Rohn, once said, “"You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with."  If that’s true, then what does your behavior say about you? Are you representing your friends well, or are you only putting yourself out there online to benefit yourself. Is it to get more job prospects, what is blogging really about. Have meaning and purpose, whenever you begin any new endeavor, and never lose tact, don’t discuss too much personal information, and certainly don’t talk about those in your life, who you may love, miss, cherish, or hold high, its likely they will be insulted if mentioned. Keep things general when you write online. And if you do have a resentment, be sure not to share those resentments out loud, because if it does get back to them, chances are it will be even more difficult to resume those relationships later in life. Its important to note that, “adding more content doesn’t help you get more readers.”  You may think that the more personal you get with your audience, the more connected to them they would feel, but it’s the exact opposite, not only do you make your audience uncomfortable sharing personal details about your life, but you also run the risk of making those close to you feel uncomfortable that your sharing so many personal details about your life online. Know when to stop, content creation is a learning process.
You would think that this syndrome only relates to your undergrad experiences, home on weekends, but trust me nights home on weekends, alone, extends into your 30s, and it gets much worse. The main objective of having a good week is to keep busy, that’s so you can enjoy your weekend with ease. But what happens when you: (1) work too long or too often (2) not work enough or (3) spend too much time online … “loneliness.”  Its been found that “decompressing after a long day” and working “late morning is clinically the best time to get work done” will help you keep it together, when you have a lot to get done.  Be productive, and while youre at it, be efficient, time is of the essence. Do the research, and know when is the best time to work, and when is the best time to rest, and make sure to keep going in life. Theres always time for tomorrow, what cannot get done today, don’t keep putting off, but make sure, not to stress too much over time, living is daily, its not necessary to push oneself, not sleep enough, or wake up too early, and be dead all day, what can get done with positive energy is always a better end work product than what is done tired. Theres a lot of “stigma” associated to weekend loneliness, and its not too uncommon to feel “isolat[ed].”  One woman states: “But I will not let this feeling define me. As the worst moments have passed, the clarity of a new day brings hope and I strive to be in control of those feelings. To try to just accept that this can feel bad. And hope for less lonely weekends ahead.”  As a law student, and dating, I pretty much had no social life, but now I’ve decided its time to have some balance. You cant just have a boyfriend, or just study on weekends, and have no social life, friends may come and they will go, start families of their own, and eventually youll have to keep up with life, without them sometimes. That’s the phase Im in. Therefore the weekends do get lonely sometimes, I don’t really feel bad about those with jobs, how I wish I had a paid job, but that all takes time. Recovery comes first, it seems that way the moment you start recovery you stop going out and you stop having a social life, that is true, but you can still make time for dating and having sober friends. I’ll keep you guys posted!
 Id at 3.
Have you ever gotten a text so far left field that you wonder what the health of the person is? Im not sure whether I was one of those people, but that’s what mental health issues sound like to the person in receipt of such texts. Always be cognizant of where and when to do therapy, if not in fun, don’t carry on in any conversations regarding your mental health issues, which you yourself cannot stop yourself from discussing, that’s rambling on and on about what you think without hearing from the other, reassurances, as to what they think or whats going on. Do your best always to have healthy conversations with others, especially in private. No one really wants to hear what meds your on, or what struggles you have encountered in life, in regular conversations, those are more like therapy conversations, seems we are having more therapy type conversations these days, than regular conversations I could be wrong. What happened to the days when we discussed the news and the weather with ease? Its okay to still be happy inside, its not important to internalize everything that’s going on or has gone wrong, empathy wise, its okay to be strong, and to focus on yourself. How to be uplifting during tough times, I think to myself often. What is it about positive people, that make them so appealing to talk to, it seems they always have the right things to say, things you don’t think about, theyre knowledgeable, that takes skill to have a conversation and to make up conversation. -When youre at ease, your problems are not on the front of your mind … that’s the best, when you can work, and think without feeling down, that’s what depression feels like, all your problems out in front of you, you walk through on a daily basis, so when does it stop? The more consciously aware you are of your problems the better, just do your best not to discuss them out loud. Was thinking of taking a Transcendental Meditation Course, it seems like you have to take a course in order to understand these days, of how to cope with everyday stressors, we’ll see. -Sometimes talking hurts.
Sometimes when we are at our wits ends about things, people leave us in life, and sometimes when we are too busy to do anything but work, people leave us in life, that’s just how life is, when youre busy youre busy, and its nothing personal, when you cant get a hold of someone, or if someone has checked out and taking care of themselves. You have to be a stable person in order to be in a relationship with anyone, that’s in knowing you, able to be yourself around them, and them knowing all sides to you, and others be comfortable while knowing all sides to you, not to cause harm to you knowing you, that’s being open to others. That’s not the same as wearing your heart on your sleeve. When one wears their heart on their sleeve, theyre not aware yet have not yet been broken, therefore do not understand the repercussions, of attachments, and detachments in life, long enough to understand the recovery process, and the time it takes to heal, once told “time heals all wounds.” That’s not to say that those who have been through a lot know more about life, surely they make the same mistakes in life, given all opportunities, made available to in life, but that’s not the same as mental health issues, which is a physical illness, hard to define, but a re-experience of conditions or a set of conditions which then again causes them illness, which is why no matter how many times you’ve been treated if one thing was the issue then, it will be the same issue now, sleep. To lose arguments in life as to your own wellness, is not being understood, and when your mental health becomes of public knowledge, and studied to a T that is to benefit themselves as having known you, and known your story, as hearing your timelines, think that you can be predicted by your past, and equally poor outcomes can become of you, if you look or behave as someone who has harmed you in the past as described. That’s hurting someone by hearing their story, turning them into something they are not, foreign to the world, foreign to pop culture, foreign to normalcy, foreign to love, foreign to socialization, foreign to work ethic, foreign to intelligence, theres a lot to be foreign to in life, its all a matter of doing what makes sense to you, at a period in time in life, when risk is not an option, do you lean toward what is familiar or do you start a new relationship, and take the risk of setting long term goals with someone new in your life. Theres waiting, and theres not being able to commit to someone new, theres friendship, and theres not sticking to the standards of wellness, in order to have friendships, or relationships in life, and theres life, being able to live, not by the standards or characters of others but your own.