Support causes that matter to you, you never have to quit caring that’s the beauty of supporting others, and there's no cost for caring, unless you make it a burden. The times are difficult, but that doesn’t mean take a back seat to others in life, that’s the best time to come forward, seeing is believing, and if you can’t put up with where you are now, or where things are now, that’s when issues get dealt with and you come to light. It can be damaging otherwise when you believe in something, and do nothing about it, its better to do something than to do and say nothing at all, and let others carry on in a conversation or behaviors that support the wrong ideas about life. Your sense of being is based upon your comforts in life, comforts around others, and comforts processing events which otherwise don’t make sense, that’s the basics of trauma, understanding, and trying to understand whys, don’t invest time and energy on the whys of negativity or the possibilities of negativity occurring, and always focus your time and energy on building more positives for yourself and others moving forward, that’s how to keep a balance perspective and positive outlook in life. If you’re not doing what youre supposed to be doing, chances are you’ll feel a sense of disempowerment, set behind in life, but when you participate and stick to what your belief systems are, the more likely things will pan out for you in the positive, always do what you believe in, even when the times are hard, but never take leaps of faith with the weak, it’s the strong who have built systems of support that do us best.
If you’re waiting for the next chapter of your life to unfold, or waiting to lose another 10lbs before you get back out there, don’t wait too long, and miss opportunities in life, you never know who will like you and accept you just the way we are. The tendency is to wait until you’re at your best to date, rarely do we put ourselves out there broken, you’re likely to face the hurdle of uncomfortable conversations about the past and where you have been not focused on where you are now. Always set goals for yourself, conversation wise, what is it that you are doing now to be the best version of yourself, and well if you’re comfortable with who you are now, there is no reason why someone else should not be comfortable around you either. Life is short, but not short enough to wait. Whether you’ve been waiting for that special someone, or healing from a past relationship, forgiveness is key in order to move forward. You should be fully moved on by the time you start a new relationship, although its easy to go backwards youre bound to get hurt by the same circumstances that separated you from your loved ones in the first place. You deserve someone who wants to be with you, who pays attention to you, keeps tabs on you, and genuinely enjoys your company. People are looking for someone with some direction and focus, a keeper, that is someone who is disciplined and driven in life, bound for success. We can’t always be that … pace yourself, get through your freezes in life, and if dating is one of them, you’re not alone, there are plenty of people who take a sabbatical from dating to work on themselves, and if its been several years since you’ve dated well maybe nows a good time to start asking yourself why you’ve been holding out on meeting new people. Even though “being involved with another person means hard work that doesn't always get reciprocated” that doesn’t mean that all relationships will be that way, some are easier than others, if you find the right matches in life.  Nowadays with all these harassment standards, its hard to meet people in your lives already, on that level, its best to date through services in which you know whether others are single or taken, before dedicating your hearts to them.
The times call for an immediately overhaul over what matters most: (1) people issues or (2) world issues. Some take precedent over personal concerns to have concern for others. Worry only gets you so far in life, how to live best? That’s not how to show care by worrying for others, the best way to demonstrate that you care is by: (1) self-care (2) compassion (3) empathy and (4) being the best version of yourself. When you are trying to help others … its important that you are strong. Living now, I can’t imagine how I was then … given my work history, you would think that I was put together and fine, but as life will have it suffered from bipolar later on in life, everything takes adjusting to, like medications, the times. People issues, that is when you are bothered by the little things in life, involving people, or yourself, those general pet peeves, and annoyances that you should otherwise be oblivious to if you are focusing on yourself, being the best version of yourself. If you are stuck worrying about others, are you being critical of them and if so why? Ask yourself for what reason am I focusing on others, and is that focus helpful to their health or my own. Sometimes a little attention goes a long way even to those in distress, or suffering from whatever mental health issues they may be going through, temporary, or for the long term, acceptance is key of others and of yourself, as time passes you’ll be glad you vented to whomever you’ve confided in theyll more than happily be there to support you once you recover and regain your strength, self-discipline, and candor of character back, that is your self-assurance of thought i.e. confidence. Why is it that those who are confident (or confided in) are given the most respects in life, not all are heroes, some are just skilled at standing out from the crowd, and being unique to others, if we could all be special (a middle man), then there would be no jealously over the wellness of others, stand out always in a good way, negative attentions although beneficial to some, are not beneficial to all, group conscious wise. Compassion and empathy are key, that’s not simply seeing and thinking poor them but by being in action, sharing condolences, or sharing messages of strength and hope, its not just those in recovery from addictions and alcoholism that need support, but there are others too in “recovery” from specific ailments, that we as a society feel bedridden by, it can be weighing to say the least. Does anyone else feel that lift as of recently, that must be that we are recovering as a group … that we as individuals enough of us have been doing what is right to reset the tone around us as affected, great work, and by all means root on your favorites in wellness, they are doing their best as leaders, and the times are not easy to be outspoken or think of what to say to a crowd, especially right now. Helping others is one thing, but if you yourself are not strong, its okay to take a back seat and not step on anyones toes about it, if you can help help, but no one is required to help first hand during trying times, some things are best left to the experts.
I read an article  about messenger suggesting that it raises anxiety levels if unwanted. Well that goes for all unwanted activities, even a text from your Mom or Ex-Boyfriend can raise anxieties. Receipt of unwanted texts from anyone else, well that’s considered harassment, even if in the workplace … why you have to be careful with (1) what you communicate and (2) who you communicate with. Non-communication is best when it comes to feelings of (1) upset or (2) liking someone, the saying goes let them come to you. However, harassment is not, if you’re busy doing something else, being bothered by interruption of those activities or work productivity, some people you have to respond to, however just because someone is waiting for a response from you, no demands should press you for time in responding to them, most people are so busy with their own lives, that it would be nice if we could just all respond when we have the time, that’s up for debate: (1) screen texts or (2) reply right away. I’m someone who forgets to reply if I do not reply right away, not a screener of calls or texts. -There will always be people who love you and check on you, that’s not the same as fan mail sent to those you love and admire, they have an aptitude for receiving messages and letters from others, not all are abreast with. If you put yourself out there for the liking, don’t be surprised when you get inquiries, you don’t have to respond to most, and some will only respond given my experiences if you respond to them. Rarely, unless they’re an Eminem account do they text you they miss you in between and wait on a response from you. If youre someone who responds first, that’s putting yourself out there for the liking, and if you get rejected by those inquiries, well then that’s just business as usual, don’t take it personally, you’ll find someone willing to chat with you, and never do anything youre uncomfortable with. In fact it has been found that “high-volume texters who were most stressed in their relationships were also most likely to admit to experiencing academic burnout and the lowest emotional well-being.”  Even loss of sleep can occur “It’s difficult to sleep when you’re preoccupied with a text you just received, composing a response, or perhaps fretting about a text’s exact meaning.”  Much the same way bloggers obsess over what they have written … in shorter spaces on Twitter, where each compartment is examined, rather than writing in longer prose, where you have more room to explain, that explains that. With regards to “unwanted sexting” as someone who no longer has sex, and dates primarily by phone, I would say only if the other party is willing so share your lives with them, otherwise it’s a waste of time, if you are interested in dating in real life. I stopped dating 2014 … for personal reasons, sober. There will come a time, when you no longer feel like hooking up … and texting is a great way to talk to others, without the requirement of sex.
I’m not new to recovery … but will have 30 days on Friday. I first got sober 2014. It takes time. Bipolar is another issue separate from addiction and drinking. I have 400-1000 followers a day, but unless I stay sober and manage my bipolar, I do not benefit from having a blog -well that benefit doesn’t seem deserved if I don’t keep up with what Im supposed to be doing. I wonder can you tell the difference in my wellness, when I’m writing well -everyone has their off days. Always be thankful for the support your given along the way, every little bit counts. You are what you advertise about yourself, be mindful that when people are listening, they could also be judging you, as they are one of the benefactors of you sharing, and have every right to be critical of you, spending their time, reading your writing. Just wanted to say thank you for following! Back to it … I try my best to be in the now, but sometimes the past gets the best of me. I’m not sure whether that’s PTSD or just plain overthinking, its important not to diagnose oneself … not even my meds seem to accurately describe me, mostly for sleep, and one med for daytime. Although it may seem like a lifelong battle with mental health issues, I assure you the agony of it doesn’t last long, as long as you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, that is setting daily goals, not reminders of the past, and moving forward that is being present, not zoned out, fixated on whats going wrong, but focusing on what is going right, and doing what is right. I don’t have any selling points memorized to provide any type of reassurances that you will overcome whats bothering you, only by my own experiences can I share strength and hope. That I hope the reader understands. I’m not perfect, and Im not a professional advisor, yet, with an LLM that may change, with experience, job skills wise (Re: oversight abilities, learning a lot blogging, need to finish my FEMA certificate in social media, get certified), but I'm not a mental health professional (but have worked as a crisis hotline counselor in the past, and as a victim advocate for VWAP), I'm just now experienced under the care of mental health professionals, unfortunately that’s not a resume builder, all that time spent healing, no one used to care how long it took you to get well, but now everyone is more sensitive to one another, given the times, one thing you cant count on is for everyone to be happy for you once you get well, you can't expect patience from people who do not know you well enough to believe in you, that would be asking too much of them. If that helps. Some days Im the advisor, other days it looks like Im writing to my audience for advisement, as though they can direct me in real life, but that would be asking too much, from your neighbors or those around you to follow your blog, for input, its not something I talk about blogging. Half serious. When you’re speaking to a crowd online, that’s one sign bipolar is kicking in, speaking to specifics, or thinking specifics are listening and reading, its usually the opposite, people you don’t know reading your blog, or so I thought. One of the biggest pet peeves about me is posture and eye contact, something Ive been corrected for over and over again … I can’t seem to muster up the confidence to stand tall, even on days when Im proud of myself, it never seems like a perfect day to stand with my shoulders back and chest out, when is a good day for that. I don’t even wear heels, It seems Ive completely given up on femininity, except for makeup, but its important not to dress like a tomboy everyday, then you’ve completely given up on feeling pretty, that would be regressing to third grade shopping in the boys section wearing plaid shorts and t-shirts. Just lose weight I tell myself, no one wants tree trunks for legs, I’m actually one of them, TMI you say, TMI. Why I run everyday.
One of life’s blessings is to be new to something, new to someone. However that’s not always the case, once everyone knows about someone or something, then its no longer new, and you’re no longer new … where to then. I think sometimes addiction kicks in in this way, wanting more of something, you are new to, or more or someone you are new to. The basis for addictions are not always people, places and things, but there are many substances on earth to become addicted to. For a long time running was my addiction, and when I stopped of course weight gain occurred, when put on Abilify, it takes time to get used to meds. And as you come to accept what meds you get put on, you fear less the consequences of not being on meds, and who you were then, and become more accustomed to your present condition as who you are now. People change, and over time, even if you go back to places you were comfortable, they may not always bring you to a satisfied state of mind, that is you have to be in control of your own wellness, although the environment has been known to have positive healing affects on the mind and body, running everyday outside would be an abuse of that condition for wellness. Having an unbiased opinion of someone, is to be new to someone, as not knowing them past or personally able to make a judgment about them in the positive or the negative, sometimes just by looking at someone we think we can tell whats going on inside of them, be careful not to be too judgmental of others, we are not all psychics, and you cannot tell the condition of a person based upon looking at them judge them as being better now then they were then. Just because I changed my hair, skin, and clothing routine, does not mean Im better, not to be rebellious, but Ive had my share of pitfalls these past few years none of which have been pleasant states of mind or being, sometimes it did not matter what environment I was in, I could not seem to be and achieve better, that’s not always a product of addictions, or of alcoholism, sometimes, we just need our alone time to dust off and recharge everyone deserves that much time to themselves in life. The more we are reminded of places we have been, when others were unhappy with us, or unhappy with ourselves, the less likely others are able to move forward in life and achieve a well state of mind and condition presently to match the norm of others around them. What people want from you are reassurances that you are well, what you cannot provide if you are not present are reassurances that you are well, because they will not believe you are well unless they see you, that condition promotes people talking about people who are not present, and that affects the wellness of the person talked about, do your best not to talk about others when they are not doing well, its not a scientifically proven fact that illness can result from bad mouthing someones condition, without them being present, but that is certainly felt walking into a room of people who have been talking about you, a quiet or discomfort, that is something that can always be changed about how people deal with others, you always talk to a middle man not speak directly to whomever you have had issues with as that may lead to further discomfort or confrontations in life undeserved as behind their back, to which you may at a later point become defensive to. Whatever you do don't self-harm over what you cannot control in life, and do a better job of being in control of your life, not try to control the environment around you or people in it.
Some days go by painfully slow. Today is not one of those days. The busier you are the better off you’ll be, schedule your time wisely, the more you have left ahead of you the less you’ll see behind you. If its progress you want, think what could you be doing now to help get you moving forward, and if it’s the weight of yesterday and the past keeping you from moving forward think what it is that you could be doing better, how could you be more productive with your time. Its usually those who are successful who give advices to others, social media is a much different space, there are some who are successful via social media but who are not successful in real life, I’m not sure if I’m one of them. You have to have a lot of things going well for you in life to be considered successful and you have to be ambitious enough in life, to set goals and achieve them. I think nowadays everyone is very hard on each other, how unimpressed are people by Masters or Jobs, for some reason others expecting more from them, that could just be them listening. Never expect others to have problems, upon coming to someone with a problem, sometimes it’s a place of peace others ask for help, when they’ve already been mended and have nothing to talk about, enjoy those moments in life, being there for others. Therefore even if you write well, they will be expecting you to have made a profit, or to have some monetary goals in mind, which prevent them from having respect for you as a writer. Not everything is done with incentive to make money, some things are done with incentive to help others, and the basis for those incentives to help others, well that’s your right to privacy what motivates and drives you in life, and by what causes. Not all are successful by the same means, it usually takes money to make money, no one from scratch comes up with an idea and makes money without the investment of time and energy on the parts of those who wish too to become equally successful. Unfortunately a blog does not work the same, you can invest time and energy reading a blog, and still without hope not find success in life, while the blogger achieves success, or you can reach success and the blogger to whom you’ve found interest not achieve equal success in their lives. Not everyone will succeed in life, it’s a competitive world, best you can do is be supportive of those who despite their deficiencies in life and disabilities do their best to be a apart of normal online, best you can ask of others, it to blend in, and well if they have helped push the boundaries for acceptance writing wise, then praise them for that too.
By the time you realize you’ve hurt someones feelings its by that time, that they either seem like they don’t care or either side is pretending not to be the culprit of those feelings being hurt. People are mostly concerned with themselves, but if you are a writer, you empathize and see all sides, and to that you respond, both from the perspective of the person to who feels threatened or harmed by you, and from your own perspective as someone whos feeling have been hurt. Usually people whos feelings get hurt react and respond in ways, to dissociate from what is causing them hurt and if assumed its about whom, that is an assumption. If you have not heard from someone for the day, that does not mean that they are busy of themselves, but could be that they have had multiple appointments are tired. It takes awhile to ease back into a schedule, the busier you are the quicker time flies by. Last year was spent book writing, and this year was spent, refining my website, and finishing my books, and a Dissertation, those are my goals this year, to finish a Book and to finish my Dissertation, I am writing self-paced right now. We all process events differently and whether you speak to events that’s to your understanding what makes sense for you to voice yourself or your opinions, but its not everyone’s place to take part in discussions, some are not suited for the part. Be accepting of those who care, and pass less judgment upon the efforts of others to manage their time here on earth, and figure out why so critical of those who choose to blog and write. Not everything is for one cause, not everything is for one ending, and not everything is for one person, or for one type of happiness, there are multiple types of happinesses to be experienced in life not limited to endings. Sometimes just existing brings one happiness, not all are seeking many things in life, some are just happy with what they have, and if they don’t fit your description of what happiness is then don’t designate me a sponsor, and insult my sense of being here on earth, living as best I can suited to the times, and not be affected just like everyone else is trying to not be affected by the times, that’s not something you write to but what you live by … not by what you hear on the news, not by what people say, but by how you are educated come to be and behave.
You won’t always get your way in life, and its upon failures in life that you learn how to build a tough skin … learn how to handle your losses in life, whether they be separations of people or separations of interests, you know you best, fight through the pains of defeat and fight through the pains of embarrassment, you too deserve a life free from discrimination or hardships usually placed upon those who are not doing well, not well off, or not considered a success in life by monetary gains. You choose your own battles in life, and its to that you speak … not from whats inside that’s bothering you, and not from whats outside that’s bothering you, but always speak from a place that makes sense, that’s always the best way forward. Addiction has a lot to do with not feeling good, and in order to feel good, using things in place of that feeling to feel good, that could be by overtalking, or by drinking, pills, or too much socialization … all of which can be draining for an introvert … know your speeds in life, and set limits for yourself, its not necessary that you be well liked or loved by all, but always taking into the consideration the best interests of others, when trying to do well in life, not step on the toes of others wellness. As self-identified addict, or alcoholic, its important not to put the pressures of your pains on the doorsteps of others, your problems are your problems, not the responsibility of others to quell whats going on around you … or the voices within, and if people want to make it about another hardship they assume, well that’s their problem with you judging you by voice, or how you look as someone who has no experienced trauma, and whos disabilities are not yet readily identifiable. Everyone has their own struggles they tell you in life, that people are fighting battle you know nothing about … if you can’t sit up to bat, then don’t bat at all … and if you can’t handle the jokes in between … then don’t suit up and show up for the fight. If you are not well you are likely to be deemed contrary to the opinions of the masses if identified as being of ones own opinions in life, and if you are not valued as being the creator of an opinion in life, well then that’s people just being too hard on you, not seeing you as original or unique. Always strive for your best, that’s not addiction, that’s drive, always do your best, that’s not for others, but because you want to get well, and stay well, that’s for others to care not just for yourself.
Whenever you’re feeling at a loss, its easy to slip back into old coping mechanisms, its mostly your fault if you do, and the self-harm that follows from filling those voids, well that’s your responsibility to correct those behaviors, especially self-harming behaviors which are hard to correct, it all adds up. You’ll think to yourself, what could I have done differently, and if so, wonder if you said something wrong. Not everyone reads your blog you have to remind yourself of that, and especially not the majority of people you encounter in life, but mostly people who know you or who know you now, collectively that can be draining … as your primary gusto comes from being new to others, not someone people already know, its easy if known to others, to be treated differently had no one known you at all. How rare is it that we meet someone and upon meeting them check their social media. Unless directed to … less is more, in the picture department, especially to recipients of photos, if not on a blog, messenger is a new phase of development online, new still to it. When rapport is lost its usually due to something you’ve done wrong … either you as the offender to interests, or you as the self-harmer, and by doing wrong in life, self-harming, difficult to be around or to see. Always be approachable … when you are approachable its easy to be around others, and that usually occurs when you are focused on yourself not others. -Privacy is so important not just to general discussions, but to private conversations, also not disclosing whats not in the best interests of others, which is to share conversations with others … about conversations you’ve had with others, that would be doing a disservice to the rapport being built between individuals to a conversation. How does hearing what is about to be said occur, there is no predictability when it comes to the language of others, but it is by who you connect with that language is felt and based upon those communications outside of you or within you, a communication is had, and words spoken.
Chapter 12 (v2) Edit 04-17-19
You won’t always feel apart of, especially not apart of the successes of others, and not to be compared … assume as though every joke is on you, until you are able to provide for yourself, under the pressures that you have suffered as a result of blogging online. That’s not peer pressure, that’s of significance, that’s being under the influence of others … but its public pressure that a person gets put under, and that’s a real pressure not to be confused with being put under by others, in a therapeutic environment. Some who are able are able to handle the types of pressures of sharing their stories, and some are in need of privacy especially during times like these, its in private that we assemble and put together ourselves, whether by private schedule kept, or a diary, where we mind our own thoughts, absent minded others. Theres a such thing called a right to privacy, and whether or not anyone has been given abstract permissions to dive into the private lives of others, that is not one business to budge their way into the lives of others … by illegal means, going through the private spaces of others. We are by our conversations connected to others … and by our conversations words chosen affected by recall, some conversations more memorable than others. Do not ruin or hurt those first impressions made upon others, as they can easily be regarded as faulty if you do not stay up to par in life. Do your best always to live a long life, a short life would be giving in to self-harm and letting them win. Do not put yourself down, do not put yourself under the influence of anything that affects your memory or ability to perform well in life … that is be a good decision maker in private and in public, and by your words, not take offense not offend anyone with your sense of humor … that would be putting yourself down, and then stating something to which you should be offended by but making light of circumstances past to not be offended by others. That’s one way in which humor is used … to not let them win, by putting oneself down.
Usually anything that produces a hearty chuckle, is at its core something you connect to, which your heart responds to. That’s not a quality to be judged about a person, how they laugh or by their tone, be judged as asexual or not. That’s really no ones business to what a person is attracted to or what terms cause laughter. The other day I self-identified as an “introvert” and laughed until I cried, at a Sponsor’s response. Usually you do your steps … with people you know … in this case with someone I just met. I don’t think that’s the solution, to keep building stories upon stories, to tell a story about a person, by names or by description as told. Not all stories will be heart-warming stories, and not all women will be your perfect cookie cutter brunette, blonde, or redhead … there are more types of women, than the fine-tuned descriptions sought after in life, just like men don’t want to be described by how they look, women too, I can only imagine how I am described, lamp shade light on, I had a crying fit talking to my Father … no comment. If its conservative you are looking for well that’s hard to find nowadays, as people have loosened up with their judgments of others … yet take more care in their appearances, it seems the more mentally ill we become the better we dress and look, funny how that happens, as a society, that shows care, I may look and feel like $hit but I don’t want everyone else around me to feel that way too, that shows compassion and empathy all likeable character traits to have. When you fit the All-American model in life, you’re likely to be an Ex-Football Player and Surgeon now … my current crush … I was trying to be perfect … but failed to live up to my titles in life, I’m not sure whether that’s ADD/ADHD or just giving up in life, just remind yourself, next lifetime at half time, not to go back out and not to relapse, to hold your head up high, not be reminded of the times you failed, but be hopeful of the moments you have left to live in life, and hope that they will bring you as much joy as you are having now …. If not already in a better mood having read this, you don’t need people, but its nice to have people around, you don’t need friends, but we all need group photos.
Whatever keeps you going in life stay on track. Whether that’s by keeping a schedule and writing in your calendar everyday, going to AA meetings, or going to the gym, don’t let up. The moment you let up upon gaining positive momentum, the harder you fall. To avoid such losses in momentum its important to keep moving forward. You will get back to work, you will have the energy you want, but its all a matter of discipline. I recently took two days off to rest from blogging, not by choice, my phone hasn’t been working. We are told that “for every up there must be a down and that success is cyclical and beyond our control.”  This is very true, working you get spoiled, put on a schedule, but working from home … well that’s moving to a different beat in life, especially if your bed is next to your desk, when you walk in the room after breakfast … hit the desk not the bed. Continually improve upon your results … somethings don’t last … but that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you … you can get back to work, maintain positive esteems, and don’t make mistakes along the way, you’ll be happy you didn’t relapse and go back out, and if you do go out, watch your progress socially, as you get better, you’ll notice you’ll have better conversations about whats going well for you in life, than the moments when you were not doing well only talking about your problems. #staysober
Sometimes we feel safest in our comfort zones, and other times when our comfort zones cause us discomfort or lack of satisfaction we step outside those areas of life. The hardest part about stressing out is not allowing those stresses to carry over to other areas of your life. Whenever you return to a familiar area or group of people … after being away, always be yourself. Its not necessary that you explain why you have been gone, or explain your world to the masses, you just have to be yourself. Whether you remember what went wrong, or why you got sick … remember that everyone cares … and do your best to be present in the now. Its easy to get upset and to blame others for our wellness, whether we are able to stay well, and who is at fault … for our wellness, always take responsibility for your own wellness first and not worry about what others have done or said, especially if its not about you. The more you make things about yourself, the more likely it will be for things to be made about you. The less you include yourself … the less others will interject themselves into your life … wreaking havoc from within. Some interventions are for the purposes of bringing you to a better place in life, and whether you have arrived at a better place in life, be thankful for those in your life now, no matter who gets credited for your wellness later on in life. Do you best to stay humble in all your endeavors, and never seek gratification in order to get well … you’re likely to be disappointed.
After being well rested … one thinks clearer about themselves and what lies ahead, never make an important decision stressed out, loss of sleep is likely to bring up emotions toward self … unhappiness, paranoia, and depression to say the least … after a good nights rest or a long day of napping … its easy to overcome those feelings. There are a few quotes that scare me: (1) that life is fragile or we as humans are fragile (2) “life is short,” and (3) that dealing with mental health issues is “daily.” Im not sure whether its fear of overcoming these difficulties in life, or just needing to change my perspective … that’s something a nap won’t cure … being tired. If you stay active and keep goal setting, that usually takes you out of a slump in life, I just lost 5 lbs recently running to the fence and back down San Vicente … 2 hours of running/power walking … it doesn’t feel like its worth is beforehand, but afterward youre pleased with the results … a lot of life is like that … accomplishing something that seems like forever to get done like a painting, but if you work on a little bit each day, eventually it gets done, much like exercise or energy, being well rested is so important to your mental health … drinking is a depressant … not to be used to help remove thoughts, forget thoughts, forget the past, or for help with sleep, that’s something you should talk to your doctor about. I just know based upon experience what happens to me when I lose sleep, everything goes haywire, and I feel like I’m going backwards in life, not moving forwards … meetings help, but you have to undo your own paranoias at the end of the day, about life and about others, being critical of others when you are not doing well is not recommended. It just makes you look bad, usually those who are critical of others are not happy with themselves, correcting others, instead of correcting themselves, just be patient, everyone is going through something right now, the weather has been crazy, there was a fire, and theres been many losses this year, but you just have to stay strong, don’t isolate and keep seeking out systems of support, to help you keep going in life.
The longer you prolong getting well, like weight loss, the worse you feel about yourself, it takes daily steps to improve self, that is ones thoughts and ones physicality … feel well. When you have achieved confidence by the wellness of your mind, so your body follows … with more energy to boot, improve and foster your future condition as well, by setting you in a better place, overcoming your past …with what hurts further behind you with in place good feelings that bring you joy and satisfaction in life … that’s wellness. Maybe that sounds like a dramatic way to throw things under the rug … but that’s how to get well and stay well … who are you now presently, do you like who you are now, do you know yourself, and how you self-identify … well then there you have it, you are you, and upon accepting that you are you … do you recognize what went wrong, do you understand what caused you self-harming emotions and thoughts … well then you’ve made it past self-harm, and once you recognize your problem, that’s the first step toward finding a solution to your problem, and once you realize that its not others the problem or with a problem with you, you begin to find yourself among again not in isolation … out of fear of failure or disorientation, all new beginnings take time, know yourself.
When you knowingly make decisions to go back out after returning to make your amends … that’s a good day, remind yourself on days when you are tired of what life has to offer by continuing to do what you know best, not venture out into areas of life you know less about, going out and drinking … if that’s not how you grew up, and only by few positive exposures have been able to stay well, than do not blame your surroundings for when you do not achieve well that usually relinquishes them from blame upon you achieving illness in life, be made to look like the offender of interests not allowed back on the side of the well or upon your illness empathized with and treated poorly regardless of the status of your health, that’s a condition that we expect no one to fall under … but the more one builds acceptance as to their condition, the more understanding is processed through others without having to change the beliefs of others toward you, as determining your faults in life, the places you ended up … and based upon where you are now, see you as no different, whether a law student or an employee … still in the face of unknown adversities … do not compare others to one another, based upon their upbringing be critical of where they are now given their opportunities in life for success, critical of when and how they have failed, without knowing any examples of those failures, how and when they have occurred, be experimental with the wellnesses of others, that causes a reversion of care, also known as a going back out, or a leaving of care … when someone leaves the care of an otherwise supportive environment, from which they are able to thrive comfortable in that is because they are well and sober, not because they are lying about the length of their wellness, or the gravity of harm they have suffered under the consequences of being named as someone in front of 93k people, who cannot be trusted, it would be wise to assume that everyone knows why you are the way you are … serious … one should not need to explain themselves to then again in front of others make look sick … I’m not applying for any awards this year, have continued to work on my book … and that’s no ones business but mine.
When you’re not doing well, or at fault, or if something has gone wrong its easy to become separated from others, not necessarily to feel a separation from others, just because people are alone, does not mean there is something wrong with them, or that there is something defective about them, some spend more time alone working on themselves in order to be around others, out of pride … and by that pride sacrifice time out with friends, to focus on their studies, some hit this phase in life at different times than others, there will always be night life, and there will always be people to make friends with but what you can’t replace is the moment, and in those moments how you are remembered by others, whether in wellness or sickness … judged. Over time relationships change … given this its always nice to be kind to both sides of any equation upon a parting of interests or wellness … some are not well enough to date, and because of their deficiencies in life cannot date, that is not because someone is not good enough for them that they need to rise above (me) thats not leaving to find better, that’s leaving to do better, and when someone is alone … that’s to better themselves not better others at their own expense, never for those reasons do people give or receive love … for wellness, its usually to those we already love and admire, and wish to empower at our own discretion and energies empower, empowerment has much to do with love not affection, admiration, not sickness, wellness, and strength, not over focus on weaknesses, or popularities. You get to pick who you want to empower in life, by who you give love to (i.e. yellow) and by giving love to someone who knows and adores you, love is given and received … in a way that can be appreciated overtime, by someone who is doing well in life, knows how to give love not someone who is not well (i.e. me). You can be given insights in life and information upon which to make inferences in life, those are your own deductions, what information you pull from the information given is your choice.
During times of need its mostly maturity that is asked of you, whether or not immature responses are deemed as a show of disrespect of appearing as though one thinks that they are above others, it could just be that someone is going through something very heavy right now and needs to be alone, its usually those who are in the middle of something working on something that is late to appointments or fails to appear for appointments, and its based upon those disappointments of people who are close to individuals, that that disappointment gets passed back to you, as feeling down. Do your best to schedule your time, but don’t take on more commitments than you can handle, during times of need its best to trust someone who is superior to you, in wellness, for guidance in order to get well and stay well. There was disappointment surrounding my first book, because after working on it for years and then typing it for months, and paying for an editor, I shared the first manuscript complete with a woman who is a mother figure close to my Father in New York … not because her Husband interviewed The Prime Minister of Israel, Netanyahu. My Family is a member of AFHU American Friends of the Hebrew University, I attended 2010, with my Father. We sat in the front row table next to the Dodgers Divorcee and Arnold Schwarzenegger who arrived late in cowboy boots. –“Eventually you get old enough to not be sheltered by others or by exposures responsible for processing your own discomforts in life your family cannot go rogue with you when you plan to leave reality and go to hell with the dinosaurs but you can do your best to value a privileged life.” (Written via Twitter 04-13-19). (Written at BungalowSM: I think calling Crossroads was making an amends in the right direction to say something that’s not PTSD to be looking out for the images of friends and loved ones -its not until youre not apart of that you get judged as being off and upon being off (why judgement is [passed]) [to] deem you’re apart of and upon being apart of apart of the problem. -The signaling -and taking – some are welcome to it -and some are not -in tune with it. No matter where you go -you’ll always feel displaced when youre out of sorts or giving in to peer pressures in life -you just have to stay steady -be an easy ear to listen to and with that a trusted counterpart in any of your endeavors” [not sided].” (04-11-19