When your image is jaded the best you can do to repair your image is not to respond to negativity that just causes illness and self-defeative thoughts that can lead to self-harming behavior. Always do your best to get back into a positive tangent in life. Do not let the negative opinions of you bring you down, always be understanding toward those who do not like you, and better yourself until accepted by all.
Some people work really hard to achieve in life. Nothing is given to us. Always be kind to others. Respect of one another's work ethic. Perfection is expected but hard to achieve online with limited resources, is expensive. Be thoughtful and courteous as a consumer not judgmental. Not every road is an easy bargain, some are fewer traveled than others. What we gamble away in life, are risks we take, losses we suffer in life, setbacks, and when we fall behind in life we have no one to blame but ourselves. The only way to undo those wrongs to ourselves is to not engage in any self-harming behaviors - seeking acceptance from others, satisfied with life, ourselves, and others, through disciplined practices, such as work, study, and through writing this can be achieved moving forward. These are not risks we take but steady steps we take moving forward to learn about ourselves and others through the process of healing and self-discovery, in this I have always had faith. Never put yourself at risk of harm or others, always take careful steps and measures to ensure the safety of all and always report. We can't always be perfect especially when we are in ruins that's a time for fixing ourselves mending what's been lost and figuring out how far we have to go to get back to where we need to be in order to achieve and or get going and in life again, that's normal. There are plenty of stories non as amplified as your own. Your own basis are what you see with, what you feel with, and what you make your rationale daily decisions with, they become the grounds for your judgments and your judgments are used for setting up your basic decision making skills. Everything you incorporate is related to your exposure which is comprised of what you read and what you know is what you decide to know for yourself moving forward how to see and how to know and where to go in thought processes to get to where you need to go to know more about what it is you want to know more about. You're always in control of your own thoughts. Don't be easily misled by others. When someone is trying to win against you prove their opinion of you they will do and say whatever to justify that point, there's nothing you can do to rise above that point. There's nothing you can say to prove them wrong because that's their viewpoint, opinion. #StopSuicide why I don't argue. There's a point of acceptance of others. I'm at that point. I'm not a preacher of opinions or sides. I've recognized that there are multiple viewpoints. I committed suicide 2009, I know there's war overseas. I obviously see the big picture, calm, because I care I never fight. You will see me read me see sides. That's understandable. That makes sense. I will say differently maybe not the same but that's not stupid or a disagreement or lack of smarts or strategic but it's my best interests, to #StopSuicide. There's a point of sense. It never makes sense to cause self-harm upon self, that never makes sense to self-destruct. Only to build, when anything is taken away its to strengthen a course of action. Mature or not all sides left up as is. Insecurities are just things that people don't say. That's your personal business never the business of others what to share about and of yourself. Never share anything about yourself that would make you or others uncomfortable. That's a general common courtesy general rule of thumb common sense best practices. #SocialMedia I'm not Gay. When someone looks at you and thinks something you think that too think something too either positive or negative toward self that is a directive that directive is then used toward your thoughts to gear toward other thoughts present you are responsible for gearing your present thoughts concerns My secret to sanity is to see forwards and backwards clear and just made friends with Torah Bontrager. The Amish Girl. Life's not a rush or competition Take my grass who cares Five star notebooks filled by my notes. -- A basis is always truth. Fear of public reflects discomfort with self or lack of self-confidence. Mercury Insurance is too expensive fixed my car in one year piled up got hit too many times. Why I don't have a car, stay home. That's what's odd about me, home always. Why not out + about. If people don't like you they will look for disappointment and a series of disappointments to prove worthy or not worthy of care or opinions worthwhile be held issue or non-issue to compare relate disjoint add or dismember these are words given that will be taken used for against related or taken used to hurt you by your own words every day to make new is how to make new self always not by the opinions of others never by comparison. When you take things personally the only one you make I'll is yourself that's you connecting goods to bads that's you connecting bads to understand that's you being understanding of something or someone, if for any reason you ever feel sick for personal reasons that is always your own business not the business of others to relate could be something going on with you personally interfering with your ability to be present additional ongoing factors present.
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Chapter 34: Privacy by Leslie A. Fischman
By: Leslie A. Fischman 12-27-17 I. Purpose for Privacy 12/02/17 There are many purposes for privacy, other than intimacy. Such as the sharing and information concerning about us and others to whom we interact with. That type of information is considered, private, and for those purposes may not be used in a way to cause harm to self or others, UNLESS it is necessary to help others make sense of consequences and circumstances to make better the times in favor of all, peaceable. That is called right to privacy. People with individual interests who do not understand the concept of privacy, are people who are not of concern, people who do understand the concept of privacy, most, are generally those within the helping professions, who by professional means, have experience caring for others on a professional level, understand these matters clearly and to whom they concern. –I’m sorry therefore if for any reason, those in my life, were made public, as my current health is a matter of public concern, when my health is affected by others, they, others need to understand why, to help adjust the public to be more accepting of me and those around me, to whom I interact with, as not to causes for disruption. As I am apart of the solution, no one to whom I interact with is therefore part of the problem, that’s a given, to think anyone is so important next to me, as to receive blame, is by physics impossible. Do not be so narrow-minded to think that I would stoop so low, as to blame anyone for my current problems and hardships, are always of my own making. I have been a writer everyday for 5 years, my current status as a writer now is no thanks to anyone but me, I encourage myself. Never discouraged by others. Always confident professionally, never insecure, just quiet. II. Right to Be Heard and Right to Privacy 12-24-17 Why are these rights important. To me they are important for mental health reasons. When we feel we are heard, listened to there is a reassuring value to that, reassurances are given to those who can be trusted and those who cannot be trusted are not given added reassurances in life, and made to become paranoid to cause continued harm to themselves not help themselves or others, but for themselves. Why these rights are taken away from people who cannot be trusted. According to Google, right to privacy means “The right to privacy refers to the concept that one's personal information is protected from public scrutiny. U.S. Justice Louis Brandeis called it "the right to be left alone." While not explicitly stated in the U.S. Constitution, some amendments provide some protections.Jun 12, 2013” [1] What does public scrutiny mean? Scrutiny means “If a person or thing is under scrutiny, they are being studied or observed very carefully.” [2] Whereas public means “of or concerning the people as a whole.” [3] Merriam-Webster further defines scrutiny as: “1 : a searching study, inquiry, or inspection : examination , 2 : a searching look , 3 : close watch : surveillance” [4] Public Scrutiny therefore to me, means the of or concerning o[f] an individual, or any number of individuals, to whom concern is sought to be replaced, by need, once a need for information is sought and brought to ones attention, attention to all is made, in order to further sustain or inform, or support that thought, series of thoughts, or chain of thoughts about an individual, to whom opinion of one is held certain based upon a knowing or a thought of knowing a person, for who they recognize as deserving of scrutiny. No scrutiny is ever deserved, in fact out right to privacy, protects this very subject, of or concerning individuals or parties to transactions, from the meddling of the public, that is considered scrutiny of an individual to associate to a negative, that negative is the taking of private information and making it public, to cause harsh scrutiny. Harsh scrutiny is or are the judgments passed by those to whom opinion is had to and of and to whom opinions are sought to be had or proven likewise to further support opinion. –No opinions held by one should ever be sought or proven to be held by all by good members of society, that is the taking of a good characteristic, or identity, and seeking to prove the opposite. The disingenuiness of transactions and interactions, are considered opinions based, and opinion based rationales do not rise to the level of bad of or concerning further hardships, or justifying continued hardships of individuals considered to be private. The privacy of individuals i[s] a protected constitutional right not a fundamental value, not a human requirement, but a protected right, a guided potential for success, and when that’s in operation, when you yourself subject oneself to harm, that guided potential cannot be in full force and effect, that is a trusted position, position[s] of trust, or valued position to counterclaim that any other force is the cause or future cause for disingenuinzing the current or future potential of success, when that right to privacy is not practiced, to claim broken by another, when purposes are not evident, when public face is present and accepted as part of ones identity, a public presence, information private therefore cannot be used once made public, to cause hardship or scrutiny of individual not under scrutiny. It is by only our own wrongs that cause paranoia, not the wrongs of others upon us, those can always be prevented by practicing this right, right to privacy, to avoid scrutiny. References: [1] “Right to Privacy” https://www.livescience.com/37398-right-to-privacy.html (12/24/17) [2] “Scrutiny” https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/scrutiny [3] “Public” https://www.google.com/search?ei=AzVAWtDdGsWR0gK2-bnoDw&q=public+definition&oq=public+definition&gs_l=psy-ab.3..0l10.10247.11734.0.12259.11.11.0.0.0.0.109.957.9j2.11.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..0.11.954...35i39k1j0i67k1j0i20i264k1j0i10k1.0.oHeTFcOnOTI [4] “Scrutiny” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/scrutiny III. Expectations 12-25-17 Not withstanding current hardships, I write, this piece, keep moving forward. At a snails pace, and always with advance warning write, to anyone who is in opposition to me, that is how I have written since 2013. Be careful not to connect negatives to positives, this creates hardships and hardships interfere with expectation, and high expectations of oneself. Always be respectful of higher authorities, and always make sure to give credit where credit is due, Red Cross i.e Professionals. –Its never important to credit people for good deeds, or to seek credit for good deeds, that’s a misnomer, but to file oneself among, is appropriate. What you are influenced by is what has been read, I influence myself for that matter, a writer. I just looked up my Curator Application to the US Supreme Court, and here we are today, with a new foundation #mmdfilmbase. Not the purposes for this website, not connected. Not for award. Not related, to my causes. That’s a negative connection sought to justify a connection made, and where ideas come from. #PublicSafety When safety needs are met. How can safety needs be met, by connections. When safety needs are met connections are made. “Your pathways in life matter much the same as your pages online to your though[t] processes and by what you connect is based on what you read. I love the #newspaper why we have them.” IV. When People Are Grose 12-25-17 We cannot control what we look like to others. Do not mock or imitate me and interfere with my progress, if you are unhappy with yourself, than its best to move forward in life. I do not promote people who are grose, or who do not like me or make fun of me, or who are not on my team in life, I just ignore them. Its important to always be in control. People will hack to make you look like someone who is insecure, or not stable, and therefore not to be trusted. I’m not a grose or unsafe person, and I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. –I am very secure with myself, and because I am secure with myself, people read my blog. Its people who are grose on purpose for attention or who make others look grose, who are insecure with themselves, because they think its funny to do something (by few) behind their back to see (as experiment) what the reactions of others will be. –Its never proper to hurt someone purposefully, I am supervised by Srg. Lattimore of the US Military and cc him on everything important. This isn’t President Trump’s job. Whats beyond you, is not as important as whats in front of you. –To spread rumors is sin, and for those reasons, I have left a location or locked a location, in which I have been harmed, or where others have been harmed, deemed unsafe. Usually when you leave a location its because either you have been made to feel unsafe or because others have been made to feel unsafe. When someone does something behind your back to hurt you, it is obvious to onlookers and not of concern to me. When people hurt you purposefully that’s on them, based upon their immaturity or inability to deal or cope with their own problems. The problems that people have either with themselves or toward me are not my issues, but their own. You cannot fight any war on personal basis, that’s selfish decision making, when you only make decisions for yourself not others. V. Your Influences in Life Matter 12-26-17 Your influences in life matter, as to who you are, and where youre going in life. Where youre headed is always a direct reflection of what you have in your tool belt, the tools you acquire throughout life, are supposed to help you (1) be (2) be aware and (3) be aquainted in life with your surroundings, have an appreciation for where you come from, and the influences that define you. Why your influences matter. –Don’t be so hard on yourselves, nothing can change you, if youre hard headed enough not to let the voices of others drown our your own. You must always be in control of where youre headed in life, whether someone tries to be you, acquires your gifts, or compete with you in life, thinking they know better, and can achieve better, and have better direction in life, its your intuition that guides you properly. Always be proper in front of others, we are only misguided by our own missteps in life, how we end up places we wish we never were, and end up behind in life, or having to turn around in life, and find new direction in life. You are always the matter with you now whats the matter with others, you come first, in all matters. In order to be self sufficient and succeed in life, you have to matter to you, in order to not be easily misled by others, or put in harms way, misguided. –How you differentiate between the present and your future, determines where you end up in life. Its not that difficult to follow directions and laws, they are meant to protect you from harm, you and others from harm. What you focus on therefore matters, always focus on the positives in life, to prevent hardship, and or personal struggles, we need no mentors only ourselves, and we need guidance, in order to persevere. –Do not blame people you once looked up to and who failed you for direction in life, you are always responsible for the choices you make and who you idolize, be yourself. VII. Respect (Blog Post) by Leslie A. Fischman 12-27-17 Respect why does it matter? Respect is so important, not just for the purposes of self-discovery, needing to have self-respect, but for the purposes of lifting those who we admire, and recognize those who we despise, without hindering the abilities of anyone, when we have self-respect, that means not engaging in fights, or behaviors that make us look disrespectful or immature. Listening to others is one way in which respect can be achieved, achieved for self and newly acquired respect for others. (What do I mean, I’m getting to the point. Reading over what I just wrote). Self-Respect (definition): Holding yourself in high regard, demonstrated properness, socially, academically, and professionally, that illustrate you hold others in high regard too, that is how self-respect can be achieved, by those you hold in high regard. Those you admire, shape you, influence you, and that’s who you become. Then whats the difference between self-respect and respect. To me, self-respect is respect for self, and respect is respect for others. It’s my theory that in order to have self-respect we have to respect others. Meaning, when we do not respect others, then we are lacking respect for something either them or ourselves, which causes immaturity, and immaturity is a result, to me, of lacking respect for self or others. When you love yourself, respect yourself, others will love and admire you too. When you trash yourself, by being negative toward self or others, then others will not respect you. That doesn’t mean that they should trash you, but they will throw things under your bus, to make you trash yourself, or to cause others to trash you. That’s just apart of life, staying grounded in principles, that’s how you achieve good luck in life, by not allowing others to get under your skin, having a tough skin about you. –I don’t believe that overexposure causes one to look trashy, when on the inside you feel good exposed, that means you’re a performer. However, when you overexpose yourself in a way, by taking in too many exposures, you will feel trashed, or not good about yourself. Overexposure, works in one of two ways: (1) what we expose ourselves to (2) and what we expose others to, about ourselves. –That’s the big dilemma on Social Media, what exposures cause illness, and which help. –I think if you don’t like someone, then no exposure of them will help you see yourself, its important to always be separate from your audience as a writer, not in their face. –I’m chubby right now, so I only photo my face, not my body, that’s why. –I wish I was skinny right now, but I would never expose anyone to seeing me when I’m down. I only show my face when I look perfect, I feel better, key to high community esteem. Chapter 33: mymollydoll.com by Leslie A. Fischman
12-22-17 When having a conversation on any matter controversial its always important to maintain a balanced perspective and to accurately present all sides as best you can, this can only be done so, by a proper stating of the facts, that is occurrences. Not how things occur but what has occurred, and by stating such, inferences can be drawn, that is how new information is made, based upon information given. When you feel bare or self-conscious, it is usually due to overexposure, either too much of something or not enough of something in your life. Everything in life requires balance. Balance to relationships, friendships, and professionals interactions. How you address those feelings, and how those feelings are interpreted, is one thing, what actually happens, is another, you be the judge. –You are your own person, it is for you to judge you, not for you to worry about the judgments passed by others, as to your behavior, as to your choices, those are your rights, who you choose to like, who you influence, and who influences you positively. That is called friendship, love, or even just acceptance of another. Hearts imitating hearts. I discussed this briefly while I was in the Apple Shop. What does that mean? I think I just simply meant that it meant we adjust to our environments, much like chameleons, we blend in. Or adapt to our surroundings. That is called being human. And on Social Media its ever more present, how we adapt in real life, and how we adapt online, are two different things. How we sound when we write and how we appear in person when we speak are two different concepts of understanding others and one another. Always be respectful of others. What you indicate matters as to what you think. What you think is then associated to what you associate to what you think. When you keep your associations limited you develop valued interactions, those valued interactions are valued back. That’s a proper way to interact not by comparison, or better than. What you think is a matter of you likings, concerns, and what you find of value. They can be things you collect, purchase, admire, or qualities you seek to incorporate into your own life, and for that matter your minds. What you project onto others, is your image, your image encompasses all those things that you like, which are collection of ideas that you incorporate into your mind, what you learn is what you create. Based upon what we create, we develop value, value of ourselves, and recognize value within ourselves, such as what we store in our computers, that we find of value, that is one way in which we establish individualism and value of self. Finding yourself is one thing, valuing yourself is another, and how you value your own life, is a reflection of the care and attention you pay to your collections, your work ethic. That is how one establishes value in themselves, by their ethics, not by exposure. –We can collect and manage and be exposed, and meet others, and have experiences, but we are always left with ourselves, and what you value, should always be you. If you do not value yourself, you cannot value things, people, or the collections of others, until you yourself, must become a master of your own and achieve, work. What is always valued is for certain, are works. That is something that everyone likes. When work is made, and work is done, that is something to be valued. Those are people to be valued looked up to, and that is hoe value systems are based. By the strong, who achieve, so that the rest of us can achieve to, under their leadership. That is how ideas come to fruition, under leadership, who leads who, is not important. In times of crisis, we all listen to one another, it’s a much different game. Life is not to be toyed with but valued. Life is not to be dismembered, but put together. Life is to be lived, not ruined. When you fixate on one point generally it is to think about something from that point, point in time, or points in thought processes, to see what it produces. That makes sense to think positively, to them assemble whatever binds. –Often times in the marketing of ideas, we leave things out, that’s not to no include people, but sometimes its to make sure not to bring about the wrong ideas or the wrong feelings, or anything else that could go wrong during the wrongful association process. Wrongful associations are when you connect good to bad and then think good is bad, that is a fallacy in rationale, to then blame the victim. All crimes are senseless. It is not by our associations that cause us hardship but by what we put together that does. –Therefore its important to always think positive in order to achieve positive thoughts one must be: i.e (as to #s 1-3 previously mentioned) (1) confident (2) better and (3) trusting. –Its (1) easy to feel confident when another is not doing as well as the other (2) better when one is not achieving in life as well as others, and (3) trusting of oneself. Never judge a character by its parts, it’s the sum of ones character that makes them who they are, not by individual thoughts had. How to avoid the demonization of self, requires a lot of discipline and positive thought. –Demonization usually occurs by obsession a specific obsession of wanting to be something youre not, this causes a negative outlook and negative attitude, which results from unhappiness with ones self. To undo a negative outlook, one must have positive perspective, to have a positive perspective in life, one must be able to see things for themselves, not be told what to do, but be able to achieve on their own, without the necessity of others leadership, or following to achieve a purpose driven life, this requires, tact, how to approach topics, without insult. How to behave in public is much of a reflection of your cares in the World, and that shows over time, selflessness, and care over empathy (sponge likeness) and leadership can be seen through example, of living with positive purpose, through tone, exhibited. –We are all responsible for ourselves, as well as those around us, always be mindful. When you feel like you cant go on let no one hold you asunder. This is why Leonardo DiCaprio didn’t do a Civil War time period Movie, because it hits too close to home. Always trust your superiors in life, they love, and care for us all, very much so. Trust them, they mentally stable and professional, all else, in one ear out the other. –This is a good place to go to practice that, focusing on yourselves, not others. Hear your voice, not the voice of others, that’s so important for mental stability, to function. –I know this because I have struggled with maintaining stability, because I have experienced loss, whenever you experience loss, you feel a sense of loss in stability, that is why you have to keep moving forward like Barack Obama said to. It’s so important to prevent repetition of bad and blame center, center upon truths, not hearsay or what ifs, or Im not sure, means keep going in life, don’t stop to question others, it’s a waste of time and energy better spent on yourselves. You can only better a whole unit when you yourself are doing well, stable and whole, that is how you are best fit, and best suited for helping others, when able to help yourself. Otherwise best to keep going in life, task by task, and accomplishment by goal, is how you move forward, based on productive days, not endeavors, based on truths, not predicting and regurgitating falsehoods, by belief in self, not others, is how you function whole. When you believe in yourself able, everything around you will stabilize. When you question others, you question yourself, that creates instability. –Be certain to motivate positives in life, Im not Tony Robbins you had Tony Robbins for 8 years, Barack Obama, and now its time to focus on yourselves not missions. –Never place blame on the innocent, nor accept blame on your own shoulders, for the wrongs of others, misbehaviors, or swallow the errors seen, just move forward, focus on you and upon all else, things will fall positive in your path for you. Nervousness, is caused by uncertainty, that is normal in troubled times, trust well. Its’ your motivations in life that define you do not be defined by others. No singular hardships are ever the cause for success only failure, and failures do not make successes of themselves, only embarrassments of themselves. Be wary of who you choose to be in life, and be wary of what sides you choose to hold. Those are your beliefs as to causes, causes do not create sides of equality, and religions are not based upon principles of equality or of sides, but of peace. Peaceful minds, make the best decisions in life, ie those who preserve good in the World. Causes do not make belief systems, systems based upon hate, are dismembering to say the least, but principles of authenticity duty to warn bring about doubts that help, help peace to persist, are good decisions made, in fact the best decisions made, those who violate positions of trust, and do not follow religious tenants, are not causes but of concern. Be wary of the gravity of harm you place upon individuals for the rules and standards you put forth as to likings and as to welcomings, and as to acceptance and privileges given. Privileges given are to those in trusted positions, people in power who have money, are given insurances to boot, those who cannot afford insurance do not have car insurance. I am a very safe driver, I am someone to be trusted, a good samaritan, and I do not project weaknesses upon people by my own faults. –There are times to be thoughtful of others, and there are times to think of self, it just so happens that it took me a year to get well, and by the time I got well, everyone else was not well. I do not understand why that happened, but I always do my best. –I am always there for others, my entire life, someone to talk to confide in, trusted. –Now I am doing the opposite, talking in public, I do not need the confidences of others to function, I do not need following or fanship. Im just a writer., kind enough to share my stats, not for the purposes of promotion at this time, writing a book, and going back to school, with no plans to make money any time soon, for at least 1-2 years. It will take time for me to get a job and to function, I’m just writing a book now. Why now, I have been writing online for many years, now its time to permanently write something. Something of value, something that can be valued. –I’m a very thorough writer there are no slips, or lines to be read in between im not a poet, I am a very detailed and articulate person, time to be serious. How people put things together –Some people put things together to hurt you, if you allow them to –and sometimes people put things together in a way that helps. –You cannot control the interpretations of others –whether for or against you. It does not make sense why anyone would read along and not support me. –But take benefit [from my hard work and effort, writing, and academic disciplined knowledge]. –That does not make sense to me –why anyone [would try to credit themselves force credit upon themselves by triggering me personally now, for what consequences forward does that serve] –would acquire information information from a person they do not like. For what reason are people negative toward others? For what reasons do people bring up the past (not true) to serve and benefit themselves, their viewpoints. For what causes do they seek to trigger to benefit themselves? There is always cause for worry once aggravated. Occurs when one side is not doing well and to better themselves bring[s] down another side. This is called competition for happiness. When one cannot be happy for others or another’s happiness irritates them. [Always see the big picture, do not blame causes and consequences on oneself, when one is not in the spotlight and another is, there is no one to blame but the spotlight and from where that spotlight occurs, and for what reasons, positive or negative, I would never enter the spotlight, when I am not doing well, I’m not retarded, I’m cautious, and I warn others, how to behave, not get into trouble and how to achieve peace within before trying to correct others, is wrong, aggravation is wrong in all forms, I’m not famous, everyone has their own lives, that’s assuming there’s an obsession with me, a non-existent public-obsession and trying to affect me to see if theres existence of one, that’s called delusional behavior toward others, that’s called manipulation, to purposefully affect others, to generate a reaction to feel better about oneself, that is wrong, that is called being selfish about ones self]. That doesn’t make sense to me. Everyone deserves to live a normal life and do the best they can to achieve a normal life. There is never any excuse for anger or hostility toward others. [It] is never justified if not purposefully provoked. –Some problems exist within themselves. In it of themselves – in existence – meaning not existing because of others. –Problems, ideas, or thoughts. Are most likely generated from their own concerns. Assume from a good place to not contribute to[ward] those ills. –I was thinking about this today –There are conversations, then you leave a conversatio[n]. How to control yourself during unwanted conversations and what to do in the event of aggravation. –Usually it [is] best to walk away, leave the conversation and not engage others in conversation –avoid fights. –How you function afterwards –is in your control. [Don’t attack others to feel a certain way in order to function in a way that brings you peace centers you makes better you, that is wrong, to be co-dependent on others, or to trigger others, to re-set your mood to better or better than]. No one can control you, your thoughts behaviors of how you function in life. It is never your responsibility to correct those who have harmed you. People who are exposed to abuse, used to those types of relationships will repeat those patterns toward you –hurt you again. Always be understanding. Especially when it comes to family and friends. Listen not tell people how you feel, but try to make new conversation, not relate what’s going wrong with individuals [who are] not concerned with personal issues [generally in states of crisis, -but concerned with themselves, their safety needs, that’s why I said always be understanding of others]. Platforms are not for attention but for communication with others. How people identify themselves is their own responsibility [including their own feelings and emotions, toward themselves, and toward others] –not the responsibility of everyone ever to help one person, a person should fix themselves to match their settings and blend in. Not stand out to be fixed. That’s trying –recipe for seeking unwanted attention so if talked about can place blame on others [or create circumstances to justify win arguments or point blank prove a side or occurrence or sequence of events, or likelihood of causal connections or correlations, after the facts trigger and then see if any dice pattern throw out differently to match ones viewpoints toward or against an individual or group of individuals innocent is wrong –it is never the victims fault, always remember that]. -[or] try to make someone like you or have similar issues to be addressed or fixed. [Be careful not to take on characters past in someones life to prove past or see if present occurs to denominate any individual as problematic characteristically or see if problems occurred in another character past, to judge a character now, that’s manipulation, use of self, to indicate characterisitics in other by default, ie manipulation, planned occurrence or planned response to triggers given]. Best to get professional advice, not wear out others with negativity [sought or felt upon interaction with others, based upon their present circumstances, who they are now, or who they were past, that’s stuff you usually keep to yourself in your own head, not trigger others negatively to generate responses, that’s considered immature ordinarily behavior, but for the times, common under crisis]. Once you change it will seem like everything changes around you. … [I had] dreams to one day write a book, already in its beginning stages, concept chosen from the start: a self help book. Not a biography about self or others, I’m very sensitive toward the privacy of others as well as my own profession[n] enough to understand the concerns of people to whom are not legally [bound] nor never my designated clients or responsibility signed by law. Only legal obligations are to report to my superiors in the event of loss of esteem, suicide, threats, my health report to #scotus i.e. The US Supreme Court: Where I started piecemealing assembly word by word letter by letter January 2013 in session –its very time consuming to achieve peace first within and among or between and then remain steady alone independent of others after discord separation and feelings of loss less than gifted high low or better or worse off, we are all equally lost retarded smart gifted bad good and blinde when it comes to the English Langauge. Let’s keep things going positively please. Thank you. Here’s my commentary and new shared verse from my upbringing and what caused my hardships in law school when in love. Why Im alone now. I blame no one never how I was raised, threats back I ignore walk away walk forward: mymollydoll.com. When you objectify someone you lower their self-esteem. Not only do you misuse the method of symbolism, but you are using a human being to convey an emotion, in another, that brings about differing emotions to others, onlookers. –This is problematic. –How women are raised is a big concern. How women represent themselves is a big concern. In my opinion is better for Women to be judged by their intellect than by their looks alone. While looks indicate care for oneself, and good hygiene, it is not the sole factor from which a Woman should be judged. –Not all Women were meant for procreation, some were meant for smarts, and for the production of smarts, for Careers, and should not be judged for not having Children. This Century is a peculiar one, in Women’s History, everyone should be respectful of the choices and the Career paths that Women choose to make. –Never have I objectified myself knowlingly and intelligently. Especially not in public and especially not with 400k Fans. Usually when we are taken advantage of, not to play victim, is when we are quiet, and unassuming, and when we are not clear of the consequences of letting down our guards. One should never be judged for how they conduct themselves in their private spaces or in private spaces with others. Sex is something you share with one person, not something you share publicy with others, why its important never to kiss and tell, as this makes people uncomfortable with you, themselves, with others, as concerns toward their image become a matter. So why does the objectification of Women hurt Society? Because it lowers the standards of whats acceptable of Women, and then other Women imitate that standard in public. Today, with Social Media, it has become more and more important to have fewer images of quality poor, and more images of quality high, in order to convey a more positive response overall from a more general audience as to the current identity of Women overall. This is something that only Women can understand, I am a Woman, there I understand how important image is, how important intellect is, and how important it is to represent ourselves well, one another well, and our Families well. This is something I have struggled with my whole life, and have always done my best, to represent myself and others well. It’s important to always be understanding of others, no matter who they are, where they come from, or what theyre about. –It just so happens that the most well liked people are actually those with the least problems, are seen as the least problematic. I disagree. In fact, its those who have problems, that actually understand them. –Its easy looking from the outside in to identify what problems you think are occurring in an individuals life without even knowing them, that’s called passing judgment. Always give an individual an opportunity to be heard before jumping to any conclusions. –You should always hear someone out, before you make any rationale decisions about their character or choices as to their future outcomes, and destroy their lives. Its important to always be understanding of others, for those reasons. It’s no ones responsibility to correct others, for who they are. That is not the responsibility of others to mold individuals to their liking, or to how they think they should be or how they are supposed to be, that is inhumane. All people should be accepted as they are, within reason. Not one person is important enough to destroy the life of another, not one person is important enough for everything to be about them, and not one person is important enough to have an effect on another’s future or another’s abilities, that’s a pure fallacy of thought, a falsehood or conclusion, as to matters certain. When you are accepting of others, that shows that you have an understanding of that person’s being. Respect for that person’s existence, and when you do not respect that person, that is when you respond counterproductive to their needs. It is out of respect we choose to include or not include people in our lives. –How we respond to others is a direct reflection of whether or not we care, and why. –In that case … the more that matters to you, the more people will matter to you. The less that matters to you, the less people will matter to you, or fewer people will matter to you. It’s important never to become obsessed with any one person, or group of individuals, but to respect all. Being respectful of all, doesn’t necessarily mean being accepting of all, it just means that we do not interfere with their progress, because we are not threatened by their progress. That is how one behaves towards others, reflects how one feels about others, based upon how those others make them feel, less than, better than, able, or not able to achieve in life. In order to achieve, one must always be respectful, in order to have respect one must have respect for themselves. First and foremost, once you manage that, its easy to accept all. /// Be thankful for every passing day you live. Life is not short but it does not need to be painful or lived in regret –if you make the right choices no one can hurt you. –Only yourself by your perceptions –your cares and by your outlook in life and by the judgments you pass on others. Look to your past for thanks and look toward your future for peace. All that your left with then is your present. –Your present circumstances always figure out/predict your future. What may seem trivial in retrospect is never easy to bear when presently undergone. Everything you’ve been through in life matters. –Welcome your thoughts with a critical and smart heart that cares for self. When you care for yourself help yourself achieve your present noticed achievements will always help others in a way that’s not hurtful but helpful. Never manipulate emotions recognize them and always set them aside first. What you willingly respond and react to will determine your ability and your ability reflects your present outlook without having to explain yourself to others. What makes sense to you may not always make sense to all. –You have to find your own drives in life. –Whether or not always maintain stability a sense of normalcy to achieve inner peace – we discussed this … “once you change it will seem like everything changes around you.” “Always be the best version of yourself.” –When you change what matters to you will help you overcome what bothers you. –Change occurs daily never at once and always in parts. “Whole is the sum of its parts.” #famousquote. Never cease to exist –your mind matters but your life and livelihood accepted is more important. Sincerely, mymollydoll References: http://www.mymollydoll.com/blog/motivations-in-life-by-leslie-a-fischman-mymollydoll http://www.mymollydoll.com/blog/let-no-one-hold-you-asunder-by-leslie-a-fischman http://www.mymollydoll.com/blog/dont-demonize-me-by-leslie-a-fischman-mymollydoll http://www.mymollydoll.com/blog/december-21st-2017 http://www.mymollydoll.com/blog/everyones-entitled-to-their-own-ideas-by-leslie-a-fischman http://www.mymollydoll.com/blog/like-this-like-that-comparison-principles-and-methodology-for-apple-by-leslie-a-fischman-ba-sociology-whonors-cum-laude http://www.mymollydoll.com/blog/confidence-and-balance-by-leslie-a-fischman-momsdemand http://www.mymollydoll.com/blog/being-put-together-journal-entry-by-leslie-a-fischman http://www.mymollydoll.com/blog/bloomberg-speech-v2-by-leslie-a-fischman Chapter 32: Bits and Pieces by Leslie A. Fischman
12-22-17 (Written 12-21-17) cc: #JusticeAlito 12-21-17 cc: #JusticeAlito You will always be judged most based upon where you are at in your life now. Content is about what you share. What you share reflects what you think. Who cares is people watching. You cannot control them they cannot control you. You will always have unwanted followers, anyone who talks shit to your face is an unwanted follower. Should leave me alone. I'm not self-destructive. I do not blog seldom because it's too risky for me personally that's not a selfish decision that's called being smart with tact playing by the rules. When you are discriminated against that does not cause mental disturbance that is a pre-existing condition purposefully aggravated to cause harm. Causes for concern once relevant cause dissatisfaction in oneself and apathy for the offender or the one who offends the other. Once offense is taken, respect is lost both ways. When respect is lost care is lost. When care is lost that is reflected in the work ethic, concern or aggravation existent. -I'm not an experiment. Apathy is not the same as drive or care or passion for causes. Apathy toward one does not mean apathy toward all, you can only do so much to help others. BEFORE either they cause harm to you or cause harm to you to see if you cause harm to others and why for what reasons. I'm not on drugs I'm not a paranoid person. When one is offended trust is lost when trust is lost one cannot be trusted when one is helped and still causes harm one cannot be helped by the individual to whom one does not respect, that's a given. -Instead one must redirect their focus toward those who care on an individual basis based upon presence. You cannot judge the future or predict the future based on past outcomes. You always have to be hyper-vigilant of self, after trauma, suit your needs first reduce risk of worsening your condition displaced by the needs of others based upon their conditions present. Life's not a race to see who gets well first or based upon present support but by what you do to get better. Always be present, based on your needs now, determine your future forward. How will your needs be met and based upon that conclusion resolve circumstances that suit your needs without interfering with the needs of others, that's called having compassion for self and others. Focus on what's important. Hurting others is never the solution. When you hurt others you only hurt yourself that's called human nature. All humans are co-dependent, if so if possible, therefore all needs are based upon common principles: (1) esteem (2) community (3) necessity (4) common grounds (5) peace (6) welfare (7) common knowledge (8) common place (9) and common sense = confidence #publicsafety. When safety is achieved progress is made when trust is lost safety still exists, when public is safe people are safe -everything within counts toward that. When everything is lost loss is felt. How you cope is your right to privacy. That's your personal business what bothers you about (1) yourself and (2) others. What defines you is by what you say, what you say reflects how you feel. Do not be intimidated by the confidences of others as you are your own person responsible for yourself not others, always be kind, resourceful but not hurtful -harm cannot be undone once a situation is worsened beyond the scope of original issues versed reported. What's transcribed by outsiders is not your responsibility to render make amends for or to only to move forward do as I'm told. You should never hold higher expectations of others than you do for yourself, that only leads to disappointment and heartache. Its best always to think in terms of ethics, guidelines, and principles what makes sense and what doesn't make sense. We only fight ourselves when we fight others, raise our own anxieties, best to stay calm, geared toward positives. When geared toward positives end results occur that reflect that outlook sought. How you make seen what's felt, known. What is right should be seen, first, always. Chapter 31: Promoting Your Best Interests by Leslie A. Fischman
12-22-17 (cc: #JusticeAlito) Fears and resentments go hand in hand especially when dealing with compounding issues and complex emotions -you go astray it feels like out of orbit. Hang tight, stick to your roots, what makes sense to you, ground yourself in principles that help keep you strong. That's more important during times of need -so that you can best be able to be there for others. Whenever someone aggravates you -which can cause or trigger self-harm, do not jump down the downward spiral to suicide. -There is more to life than just the negative opinions shared by others. This should not pin ball machine toward negatives upon yourself, when it's them being negative towards you to make or trigger conversation or quotes to be of or related to them. This is called manipulation. When someone with an emotion not shared is triggered upon you to see if their unhappiness transfers to you. Unhappy people cannot make unhappy people, do not test the flip side of events, nor ever place blame to any one good person, this causes unreasonable pain and suffering to those who seek to protect to whom I relate would die for, quiet. Why I'm quiet, the flip side. Life is composed of end points. End points of discussion. End points of discussion thought to highlight the totality of what's said. And there are points in life we fixate to and give memory to. That is always your choice what matters to you. What's important to you is what you base your life on. -In any argument there are sides: the majority and minority. The side taken and the side against, or least traveled, or side no one takes. When as soon as you say something something happens after given fire warnings to self that's called a self-fulfilling prophecy what you project or what others project on you becomes seen. Life happens based upon what's fixated on. What you focus toward brings about. You are a consequence of you're own actions. What so follows is evident. When you search for causes you create consequences much like karma present based on karma past to create future misunderstandings and pitfalls present to discern the past, characteristics traits. Carried then present now if related. I'm not a campaign I'm myself. -Or Deja-vu repetition of past present in ones life. Never belittle yourself by comparison to others. You are you no matter what and no one can change you but you. It's what you perceive is as changed based upon interactions with another that cause you to regress, no do well, self-harm or cause unreasonable delays or hardships. When you are accepting of yourself all else should fall into place. No issues should collide irrelevant or to pass negative judgments upon groups or individuals for their characteristics or traits given and had. Everyone should be accepting of all. With growth in acceptance comes self-growth and maturity of the issues soon follows a compassionate a better understanding of self and others, in relationship to and upon interaction. When we grow we learn to be true to ourselves growth creates equality of purposes forward a quality of acceptance is followed by growth in understanding and showing compassion for others. Post selfies to decrease seriousness. My go to device to decrease seriousness. You are all you have others are more important than yourself, always remember self-worth. -It's not about you, this is about me. My writing is about me, conversations with self -to understand derivatives. The more you share of your personal life in public the more critical of yourself you become. Be careful not to personify insecurities out loud become something your not based on (-) judgments of self. Still cleaning up my website. Bigger audience calls for different material settings. Appropriateness goes with crowd size how you develop your audience. Always stop at a point in which a conversation goes well when you shift blame to others it causes disruption. What you allow will continue to occur if you let it. The cycle of abuse always begins with you. Never blame yourself or others always get help or talk to a professional to create positive outcomes in the future for yourself and those you care about. Sometimes people who we trust let us down in life, not everyone can be trusted, trust first yourself before others, and all else should fall into place. When you empower yourself you blame people less for your problems and become better able to take control of your emotions and your future, present. #JusticeAlito When you put others before yourself you give yourself the responsibility to take better care of yourself. In order to be there for others one must be whole. In order to be whole one must be complete. To be complete one must be present. To be present one must be there first for ones self before others. Once you figure that much out, peace can be achieved, first from within. It's not by helping others problems can be solved within self, it's through helping others one helps others, you must always consistently help yourself separately in order to properly be there for others and of use, useful, helpful, a positive influence. It starts with you. --- Life isn't about promoting your best interests it's about promoting the best interests of others. Chapter 30: Dealing with Negativity by Leslie A. Fischman
Next Chapter: How to Cope with Negativity: Troubleshoot (From: 2016) 12-19-17 It's important to know your stopping limits in life. When to let go. Sometimes when things are not going our way in life that can be a tell tale sign of bad luck ahead and should redirect you to step back in life and think things over. Mental disturbances should not worsen to public disturbances. If so you're being selfish, not concerned with the needs of others, but your own. What rings true to you may not ring true to everyone -always be mindful and respectful of the feelings of others. Part of being courteous means knowing that difference, when to take time out for yourself, give space to others, and work out your problems on your own -then reintegrate yourself (mix yourself in) with society. Right when you think you've got the hang of things, and know how the World works, life surprises you. Never be too overconfident in life. It's important to stay humble to maintain a level head on your shoulders. In the limelight it's easy to think that things are about you, but that's the one thing you don't have control over is what your audience remembers and what they associate while reading, that's outside of your control. Always be mindful of the thoughts and feelings of others. Never burn bridges, and expect anything back in return, what's lost is lost and sometimes cannot be repaired. -Keep things in perspective whenever writing, what you connect you will be judged for, what you become defensive to is what assumptions will be based upon, always keep that in mind. 08/2017 The best lives are led by those who put others before themselves. Usually end up in the right places in life. Karma is a product of who you benefit weaken in life, for every failure or miss, your chances of being thrown off point in the future increase if you don't improve someone else will bring about circumstances in the future where you've failed in the past. Recognize your best, always do your best, and never interfere with the positive progress of others, always compete against oneself. Everyone should be better off having known you, whether or not they stay. You are a product of the choices you make in life, determine where you end up in life. For better or worse sometimes we realize as we go and correct problems, sometimes we fall thru the cracks, and end up behind in life. You have no one to blame but yourselves, the minute you start pointing fingers, you are in the wrong. You get nowhere in life fighting and blaming others for your misfortunes. The only one who has the power to change you is yourself. Relationships: It just so happens that even the sweetest people are unlucky in love. Or so I've noticed. If you are one who attracts the kind who once feel better leave you, then that's okay. That's normal who we empower usually attract, once independence is lost they will look for better, someone who improves them not weakens them. “You can only do so much to be well liked, you may not be well liked by all, but that doesn’t mean give up and stop trying. There is always room for improvement. Focus on yourself, not the opinions of others. Self-acceptance comes first before anything. If you are not confident, others will be not be sure of you also. If you love what you do, such as writing, don’t let any [one] person’s opinion of you bring you down. At the end of the day those who care, and those who matter [mind], [and] will stay by your side.” [1] (Reference: Instagram.com/leslie_fischman) “Nothing’s impossible until its done. The Journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” [Quoting my Father] –These are wise words once shared with me. How relevant? For whatever it’s worth I share with you my experiences while blogging to keep [my audience] updated [as to] my progress [and] on [our] progress in general as it relates to those who support Victims of Crime and whats being done to provide services to those affected by Violence and Terrorism [for that matter]. My job [previously in Boulder and Compton] has always been to assist those within the helping professions [directing them to those in need and making sure that services are provided to them, adequate services, including Children of the Court at CLC]. [Given this information provided] … rarely [have I ever] work[ed] directly with Clients expect for my experiences as a Crisis Hotline Counselor … [and have attended one Vigil in Santa Monica and one Movie Screening at UCLA, where I did not talk to the Victims personally, as I have mental illness, and shy away from conversation, in person, professionally speak to Victims by phone on Sundays, calling those who choose to Volunteer, a specific class of Clientele at Moms Demand, separate]. My experiences in the work force have situated me [previously] in a position [of trust which is now different since my DUI, I work differently now, online, from home, without interacting with people on a daily basis, a stay at home blogger and worker, no socialization, no dating, no drinking, no drug use] to care and be proactive [while] helping others [at organizations] such as Brady Campaign. This organization was recommended to me upon application to Intern in DC in 2011 which is why I became so involved [after Aurora and Sandy Hook] later [afterward, and knew where to go to help, by chance, not by what I was drawn to originally, I wanted to work for Bazelon and work directly with The White House, and did not get the job, after my siblings friends passed away, I reported their deaths to them Spring 2011, I did not start blogging until after their deaths, to wonder why, solve] online promoting their organization and encouraging others to support them. [I’ve always thanked everyone for supporting Moms Demand and Brady Campaign since 2015 when I got started blogging for them, after their Founders passed away Fall 2015, I was already an avid iMovie Blogger online comedian beginning 2013, Justice Thomas was a huge fan, we used to joke together, and make eachother laugh]. (Reference: Instagram.com/leslie_fischman) Self-Esteem There's a lot of pressure nowadays to look or be a certain way in order to be accepted by others. Sometimes best you can do is be yourself, with or without those people in your life. Always be happy with where you are in life. In order to achieve happiness you must first (1) be content (2) able to main and manage your current life in a way that brings you happiness. -If life were perfect we would always be happy but that's not the case. Maintaining happiness is an everyday job. Things affecting your happiness or ability to be happy are: (a) your esteem (b) your mood (c) your relationships and (d) your overall satisfaction in life. -Therefore what makes you happy is up to you. Never give up. Treat every day like its a new day. Whenever you experience any type of loss the only thing you can do is move forward. --You can only comprehend the present not well what is lost that just wreaks havoc on the mind, body, and spirit of your future endeavors. -Always work with what you've got and be grateful for what you have in life. No loss is worth continued suffering. It's all a matter of time to rebuild self after any loss. What you do presently moving forward is so important when determining what is to be preserved, taken, valued, dismembered, and lost. No matter how hard you try you can't control what people think of you. That is up to their discretion -how to judge you moving forward, how to appropriate you into their lives as a reader, decipher what's important what's not important. It's never the job of the writer to point out for the sake of poignancy what's important what's not important for the reader to remember. That's not my specialty, memory. I have very poor memory because I suffered from mental health issues hearing voices. I take meds now. Life isn't easy. It surely isn't simple. Everything takes time: including forgiveness for (1) your (a) negative feelings (b) negative emotions and (c) negative viewpoints, (2) for not being understanding of others and (3) for assuming a wrongs where none exist that is where you are always wrong. What you think always matters. What you say not so much so, without action or reactions to boot i.e. back up what you're saying or what you're doing with your life. So much can be done and so little progress can be made when we lose faith in ourselves and the abilities of others. First focus on yourself before trying to make amends with others, not only does this cause damage to esteem but it interferes with your ability to make steady progress toward for self and for others. Keep others in mind but never to the extent where you suffer. -You should never have to go so far out of your way that you put yourself at risk of harm. When you put yourself at risk of harm you put those who care about you at risk of harm. These are lessons we learn, through trial and error in sobriety. What we see has a lot to do with how you feel. How will we be better off, having seen what we've seen, does that interfere with our future ability to see? To what extent can we really be bitten or jaded by others? For the most part we are always in control. The more we see the better decision makers we become. It is always to our benefit to understand the sights of others, as it helps us to see better and realize our best perspectives. Usually when others share their insights or problems we feel better than or stronger, it's always empowering to be a listener in life. In life you should need no congratulations for good deeds served. No heroic efforts are ever if rarely rewarded for self-esteem boosting but accolades deserved are overtime accomplished through the respect earned not by ones counterparts proven wrong, not from one’s allies in shows of support to, but by judges of character. Do have pride in what you do but never to the extent that you lose composure or yourself during the process of helping others, that's not the answer. That's not the answer to problems, that's a given. The answer to problems is not through the sharing of more problems but through the sharing of solutions do we find clarity for causes to act, react, and just be. -What is heard overheard so be it. It's what you do now is all that matters. You can't move backwards in time and fix errors, you can only move forwards and be correct, that's how you improve that's how you help others, that's how you better yourself while helping others -by always seeing the positive. Life's gets quiet on the other side when you are listening not reacting responding not telling doing not thinking and putting yourself together first before others how you respond best to any crisis well put together is the best way #mymollydollblog When you’re obviously not happy in life its easy to give up on yourself. Never lose hope. No foundation built was ever built in a day and no dream ever came true after one try. Often times it takes many tries in life to get going and back on your feet once you fall down and out of place in life. It’s just a feeling of being worthless or not worth it or not good enough in life but things will always turn out for the better once you step foot back into life and leave your past behind you, remember it always, but don’t let it weigh you down to the extent that it causes unreasonable hardship to your sense of self, esteem, and ability to achieve. Everyone deserves an opportunity to have a life, a job, friends, and relationships, its all a matter of how well you manage yourself. Chapter 3: Growing Up (Minus People) About Me (v2)
By Leslie Fischman 12/15/17 Chapter 3: Growing Up by Leslie A. Fischman By Leslie A. Fischman (2008) I remember dancing to Footloose, dressed in shiny, black bell-bottom pants, periodically looking over to my best friend dancing beside me. I had trouble remembering the steps to this routine I had been practicing for months. The first time I was presented with a problem, which had no solution, and acceptance was the only way I could move forward. It took me fifteen years to figure out what I could do to help those whose lives I want to change for the better. Learning to deal with the uncertainty of not knowing, required me to ignore the war of negative publicity that ensued around our families and those closest to us. In order to ignore the salacious rumors and contagious gossip, we were required to overcome our fears and doubts about those [around us and in our] environments, and find direction in this unknown territory. Accepting the past, required me to forgive those who have harmed those closest to me, and be compassionate. What was supposed to be the most private and personal time for loved ones to share in the comfort of each other’s company turned out to be a media frenzy (this became the “Trial of the Century”). I remember the police coming to school to speak to the class and asking us whether we had any questions. I was upset when I saw the front page of the New York Post, there was a little girl clasping the gold railings framing a white casket …that little girl was me. Throughout the past fifteen years, my friend and I have managed to set ourselves apart from the media publicity. Accepting the past, required me to forgive those who have harmed those closest to me [e.g. Petrocelli], and be compassionate, [towards those who exposed us to the public eye when we were too young to understand the consequences]. I made the biggest decision of my life, when I chose to reach out, get help, and continue to pursue a legal education. [There are moments in life] when time freezes—when we feel like we are stuck and can’t move forward— and today similarly feels like a nightmare that we can’t awake from. We get stuck in the moment, waiting for it to pass. We wonder that if we did something differently, then things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did and that if only we had the power, we could change the past. However, we realize our own powerlessness when events happen to us that we have no control over. Throughout the past sixteen years, I have worked very hard to set myself apart. I learned to forgive those who have harmed those closest to us, realizing that there was nothing I could do but be compassionate and supportive. In order to deal with the trauma associated with that event, I redirected my focus, and decided to go to law school. As I continue to rally through adversity, I have found ways to identify the significance of that experience, our friendship over the years, and the events that followed, in a positive way. Making a positive difference required me to diversify the activities I became involved with and to remove myself from the cycle of trauma, and be proactive. I decided to volunteer for a local crisis hotline and after two years I researched, wrote, 2 and defended my Honor’s Thesis entitled “Dealing with Vicarious Trauma and Managing Emotions While Providing Advocacy to Survivors of Sexual Assault.” Volunteering enabled me to develop a deeper understanding of effect that trauma can have on one’s feelings of safety, emotional stability, and ability to adapt. The process of recovery and healing has had a significant impact on the person I am today and has given me unique insight into the field of trauma. It is not until we experience pain ourselves that can we begin to understand the pain associated with a significantly traumatizing event in one’s history. I know now that what I do in the present is vitally important to where I see myself in the future, so that I can continue making a difference and provide legal advocacy to those in need. June 1, 2013 (Unsent Letter) After five months of trying to make amends where needed, and clarify any misconceptions regarding my motivations for attending law school, I’ve finally come to a pause. During a period in which I was unable to make good decisions for myself I reached out to those who I thought would be the best examples of maintaining composure in times of extreme controversy. Often times the people who react first, are the one’s most knowledgeable. To my surprise I opened this invitation only after I returned home, almost a month after, separated from my souvenirs, it was laid flat with the newspaper and red bow it came with, assumed it was a general greetings letter sent from the Hotel in which I stayed a week prior, to walk around the city before it got too crowded. I flew to DC because I inherently knew that if there was anyone who could understand what it means to face adversity, it would be you and your family. The kind of pressure I feel I am under at times, can be overwhelming. I have always managed to persevere under circumstances which prior to this semester where outside of my control, and stated at being so in prior personal statements, which were flipped around by parties knowing that I felt this way, and positioned me in harms way, knowing that I have difficulty focusing, running the risk (willingly) to keep me out of structured environment, making me more susceptible to harming myself, so as to alleviate liability or free themselves of blame, and use my statement against me, to argue that she knowingly put herself in harms way and we in no way contributed to her positioning herself in harms way to which she became of harm to herself. I have always been honest to a T and never in anyway tried to outsmart or undermine my Professors or the Administration in their abilities to do their job, in fact I often visited the administrators office to handle forms and turn in papers in person because I felt comfortable around them and trusted them and never once questioned them or that they were in anyway trying to put me in harms way or ever feel like they turned against me. However, when I started dating my ex boyfriend, the climate around me began to change, and not understanding why, I became very depressed and did not know why my grades dropped, I never found law school difficult, and was at the top of my class when I started and felt that this was a school that I could excel in and stand out, never once did I feel that I was being downgraded or that I was being discriminated upon. I believe that my ex boyfriend, represented me in a way fitting to his theoretical perspective, and gave me a “notions” definition to see how my professors would respond, I do not know why he did not want me to become an attorney, I do not know why he did not want me to have my happy ending, I don’t know why he felt so threatened by my ability to successfully complete courses and take notes and argue and brief cases without being a head case and without getting paranoid. I don’t think it was appropriate for him to convince me that I was mentally ill, and I don’t think it was appropriate for him to accuse me of things or maliciously prosecute me [of being promiscuous], and go from being my boyfriend and telling me he loves me and wants to get back together with me, to turning on me and turning this into a full fledged war against me [is how I felt at the time, ignored]. I have never done anything to harm him, and he got a job working for the District Attorney’s Office upon me ending our relationship. Why? Because he was not getting hired, and I inherently knew that because he was too focused on belittling me and screaming at me, that it would be best that we part and that he had a better chance of getting a job if he was not busy fighting with me and putting me down and making me feel bad about myself for no reason, and focus on something positive like helping victims of crime, not trying to prosecute me and victimize me by a system I have always supported, the criminal justice system without hesitation have always been in full compliance with the law, to the best of my ability, and when necessary medical support is unavailable have sought alternative means to stay centered in the middle of storm I was thrown into without warning, which keeps getting worse and worse, the more I go back and read the emails that he sent me, which just stayed in my box unread and replied with a cordial and diplomatic response simply requesting that he stop attacking me and that he was not making it any easier in a general sense to forgive him for not being understanding or aware of the immediate danger and unstable condition I am in terms of my relationship with my family, and school, and past employers, and the general public who grew to question me based upon a sub-standard review by an ex boyfriend, who just wanted to crème me for no reason, because he was jealous I left him. In 2008 I began my studies as a Paralegal student at an American Bar Association Paralegal Certificate Program. After taking a course on Introductory Civil Litigation, I had a meeting with a Professor after school hours to discuss “how to seal a deposition.” Upon background checking myself via Google, I found that my name had been cached to a Deposition from 1994, the year that a woman who was like a Mother to me, was stabbed to death in front of her home the night of my last Dance Recital at Paul Revere Middle School. I was told to write a note of compassion, which I expressed in a brief statement on a memorial page on Facebook, “please respect the privacy of her children and do not write anything that would be considered offensive [to the memory of their mother, Nicole Brown Simpson].” As a paralegal student I felt helpless. After writing my personal statements, then reading a deposition led by Mr. Petrocelli of my parents, I became suspicious of the intent for which those questions were asked, in regards to the whereabouts of his children, to which I was a named party to the response to the open ended question. Reading further in my mother’s deposition, I found a piece regarding the length of my friendship to Sydney, considering now I am going to law school and her father going to jail, I felt at odds, that this would look to be something related, to which it was never meant to be related. Needing to gain a better understanding of why these question prompts were asked, I found a very strongly suggested piece of evidence to which he was adamantly trying to get responses for, regarding my mother’s book, and requesting for a copy of the book. Reading this, and recalling my mother’s book being reviewed by friends while at her home, I read the book briefly up until a point where I could see that the information contained in the book could be seriously misleading, given it was edited by someone with no forethought, just trying to paint a picture without consideration for the potential consequences or implications that could potentially arise from the order in which the characters of the book were introduced. -Seeing that I was the first individual described in detail, I immediately became concerned. As I thought this was a book about my mother’s life, entitled “The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth.” I began seeking a response, just a simple response, why did you write those things in your book about me, portraying me as someone who is mentally disabled or in need of special assistance or severely learning disabled. I do not recall needing that much attention or assistance growing up, I was active in sports and gymnastics, had friends, and generally liked school and an enthusiastic student. When I called my best friend (crying) (2008), I blamed my mother’s companion at the time for all of this, called her crying on my knees, telling her this should have never happened to your mother. [Why? Because he existed/entered the equation it added controversy to a deposition where controversy was not needed nor existed at the time at the way in which Mr. Petrocelli was advancing questions in increasing intensity to try to allude to personal questions about her personal life which created a negative character judgment of my Mother, who was not selected to testify in the Criminal Trial by a judgment call by Mrs. Marcia Clark because my Mother was a friend of the family and did not take a side. My parents were already separated and my Mother lived in another apartment, which only embarrassed my Mother, my family, and made my Mother feel bad about herself, that she was not there for her friend at the time of her death, and that they had been estranged at that time do to lifestyle differences, separated, but had planned to go running the morning after my recital and we were invited to dinner with the family at Mezzaluna, but declined because I was tired and just wanted to go to sleep, wish that I had attended and slept over at Sydney’s house that night like usual]. Unemotional, [my friend] replied (2008), “I’ve moved on, and this isn’t something I want to talk about.” [At the time I did not have the basic understanding of the law and rights of individuals who testify, and why these depositions were upsetting to me, or disturbed me, caused me to panic]. [She] then tells me “we’re in this together” and “my Dad says he is eating a bucket of fried chicken” I go “huh?” And she does not explain further. Respectfully, I stopped contacting her regarding the subject after she stopped replying to me. Confused at that point, is when I began entering a state of psychosis, looked up Johnny Cochran on the internet, and visited his webpage. Since I felt as though I was being wrongfully associated as a witness to a crime and not to my knowledge notified that as a minor testimony on my behalf was given in response to a question prompted by opposing counsel without representation in a civil trial, I grew gravely concern, and gravely disabled. I called all of my friends and no one responded, then in a state of absolute helplessness decided to take my own life, and swallowed a bottle of pills and woke up in a hospital. I was very emotional there, and was put in 5 point restraints at one point, which during that time past out, and upon awakening could barely speak or formulate a sentence. I could think but the words could not come out of my mouth. In June 2009 I began law school and my first grade was a B. Given this experience I have become determined to continue making a difference, with or without the support of my peers, as when I relied on others to sustain, I fell apart, but when I rely on myself and the tools I have acquired through school to help myself and help quell the confusion of the issues and assumptions made about how and why I committed suicide, the better able I am to move forward from that experience and become stronger as a result and more resilient to life’s stressors and general rejections. “It is for these reasons that I believed a Masters in Law in Risk Management and Compliance would be the most appropriate area of law, indirectly applicable to the issues, that run closest to heart and at home,” [which I stated in my application 2013]. When in school I am a diligent student, hardworking, and able to keep up with the course load and material provided to 5 be learned each week. As a Juris Doctorate Student there is only so much you can learn within the narrow confines of a general legal education, which is why I am choosing to apply for a Masters Program in Law that specializes in the kind of detail and expertise needed to succeed in any one area of law, and differentiate myself from the other applicants when applying for jobs in a Law Office Setting. The Crisis Hotline One Saturday afternoon in the fall of my Junior year, while I was on call for Boulder’s rape crisis hotline, I received a call from a local detective reporting that a sexual assault had occurred earlier that evening. He asked me to go to the emergency room at the local hospital to provide advocacy for a survivor undergoing a rape kit exam. I felt a sudden rush of [anxiety], and quickly flipped through my manual to make sure I had packed all the things I needed to bring with me to the hospital, including a list of questions I would need to ask the police and nurses on site. I tried to mentally prepare myself on the drive over to overcome my nervousness, taking a few deep breaths, and reminding myself that the most important thing I could do was show up and be a support system. When I arrived to the ER’s waiting room, an Officer (“Jones” a name I made up previously) of the Boulder Police Department was already present, pacing around and taking notes in a small black book. He greeted me and gave me a little background information about the “survivor.” Soon after one of the ER nurses came out and called me over –“You must be the Victim Advocate from MESA, follow me.” When I entered the room, I saw a young woman: anxious, nervous, and uneasy. The Survivor (“Carly” a name I made up previously) didn’t have to tell me how she was feeling – I could sense the emotional and physical trauma she had endured. She immediately gave me details about the evening: where she was and what she remembered from the night. Then she paused and asked me, “Did you get what you needed –is this for school or something?” I told her that I was there for her, not for information: “I’m here to check in with you, to talk to you about how you’re feeling, and to make sure you get all the help and support you need.” Carly started to tear up. That night was far from the usual Saturday night most Juniors in college spend, rather than sleeping or wasting away at some bar I was in a local emergency room, consoling a very traumatized young woman, scared and afraid. Not only was thins an eye-opening and life changing experience for her, but I was there to witness first hand the effect that sexual assault can have on a young woman my age. Working as a victim’s advocate can be draining and emotionally overwhelming, especially when you are the first and last person to speak to those traumatized and helpless. There is only so much one can do as a hotline counselor and victim advocate. Which caused me to question who helps those who take on the primary responsibility of helping others. Many assume that if someone is able to help another, they can take care of themselves. However many of the Counselors I spoke to were convinced that helping others had a positive impact on their ability to help themselves. [However], one who is ill-prepared is unable to make an accurate assessment of their capacity to fulfill a role better suited by those with the educational background and degree of expertise needed to assist individuals in crisis. As a hotline counselor you are continually exposing yourself to the experience and the effects of trauma. Who's helping the helper deal with dozens of traumatizing experiences that individuals face as victims. The magnitude of this problem and the consequences it has had on an individual’s personal and emotional development has yet to be addressed. In light of my own experiences, I can only suggest that one reason why I faced a significantly more trauma was due to two factors: one my personal history, how I coped with my problem, and how my problem was further exacerbated by the vicarious trauma I experienced as a hotline counselor. For these reasons I [tried to] maintain the anonyminity of this organization, by not listing its name on my resume. The Importance of Education to my Personal Growth I wanted to do more than be there as someone to talk to. I always felt as though I could do more, and this where my interest in law began. I know how to talk to people in crisis and the skills I have attained through working with victims has made me more sensitive to their needs and more prepared to respond to those in crisis situations. I find it immensely satisfying to help guide those in need, through their most trying and traumatic life experiences, giving them the support and access to resources they need in order to begin to cope. Working on the hotline, I have seen the difference that one person can make. As a lawyer especially, one has the rare ability and privilege to make a difference in a person’s life, changing the way victims of sexual assault see the law and encouraging them to come forward. As a lawyer I will acquire the tools necessary to make a difference and influence the live of others for the better. It takes one person to believe someone who is otherwise ignored and dismissed by rest of society to make a difference, by increasing awareness and understanding to those who can help those at a disadvantage move on to more productive lives. [T]he end of my senior year, marked the most significant growth in my academic career and personal life. It was at that point in my academic career when I recognized the importance of helping myself before assisting others. I learned that in order to help influence change in the lives of others, I would have to develop the capacity to overcome personal setbacks preventing me from reaching my potential and capacity to help others. Writing and defending an honors thesis, gave me the structure I needed to move forward and better understand my own experiences as well as the experiences of those I interacted with over the hotline for three years. Not only did I address the problems and dilemmas students such as myself faced, while dealing and coping with trauma and vicarious symptoms of it, I found solutions to coping necessary to move forward. I learning how to help myself adapt to the personal changes I was undergoing, I became increasingly aware and motivated to help those similarly disadvantaged by the debilitating effects that experiencing trauma can have on ones personal, emotional, professional, and intellectual capacity needed to succeed academically. Awareness is key to understanding. But I also want to do something to help make change happen in the lives of those I have interacted with. I feel that I can be a great asset to the current legal system, but I have a unique understanding of the experience of trauma, both first and second hand, that can only be learned through the experiences I have endured in my life time. I want to do more than merely be aware of the problems that exist in society, but I want to learn about what I can do for myself through education and work experience to put myself in a better position suited to helping those whose lives I want to change for the better. Going to law school [has] enable[d] me to extend my role within the helping professions, so that I [could] provide legal advocacy to those in need, especially to those experiencing the pains and trauma of being victims of crime. [As] a Sociology major, I [became] more and more interested in exploring my writing capabilities, and challeng[ed] myself academically, making the most of my education both as a[n] [under]graduate of CU and as a student in the ABA Approved Paralegal Certificate Program at West Los Angeles College. [Where I] [became] inspired to learn more about law and exploring the ways in which I can best prepare myself for the discipline and demands that a legal education requires. As a Sociology major and honors Student I was more than just aware of the problems individuals and groups in society faced, but I became equally fascinated by what I could do to get involved and do something to make change happen and influence the lives of others for the better. A successful education requires more than memorization and ability to apply theories and general concepts to specific circumstances. In order for me to fully understand the fundamental underpinnings of social problems, was to immerse myself in the problem itself. Placing oneself in an environment other than that provided by an academic setting, is a true test of one’s capacity to apply what we have learned in the classroom to a real-world setting. Rather than be a bystander and base my judgments and understanding on the basis of the experiences and studies others have written, my intellectual capacity can be measured by my ability to adapt to pressures that require us to perform in unfamiliar territory, with little preparation, and depend on our instincts to guide us. I wanted to examine the problems for myself and address issues that may have been overlooked by those who are different from myself. I may be young, but the uniqueness of my experience is what both differentiates myself from the other applicants and at the same time challenges me to not allow those differences to disassociate me from my peers but rather find ways to integrate those skills I have learned in a positive way. Rather than get frustrated, I have found education to be the one positive means for me to express myself and share my ideas, beliefs and opinions to those who have not experienced what I have. Being able to communicate myself has been the sole means for me to grow past the pain of trauma and develop a deeper understanding of how those experiences can be utilized in a positive way and not inhibit my ability to adapt to my surroundings and embrace those around me and the value that sharing one’s knowledge and expertise with those less experienced has a more significant impact than allowing those differences to maintain silence. I am aware of the impact that sharing our differences has on those around us. We are either embraced by those who understand and are similar to ourselves, or we are rejected. I have always been fascinated and drawn to those who are different from myself. It is those people who have taught me the most about myself. It is in the sharing of our differences and interacting among those in unfamiliar territory that we learn the most about ourselves and our intellectual capacity. I thrive in any environment that challenges me to step out of my comfort zone. By embracing my weaknesses I have not only become more understanding of myself but have been able to extend that understanding and patience to those around me. I find comfort in the unknown and strength in my ability to overcome setbacks and insecurities that prevent me from reaching certain goals in my academic and work experiences. What I do today, and the choices I make for myself, have a significant influence on the person I want to be one day. The skills I have learned as a volunteer on a Rape Crisis hotline counselor is one example of an experience which has significantly influenced the way I see the world today. While interning as a Paralegal at the City Attorney’s Office I have learned the importance of building and maintaining professional relationships with the people I work with, which has been strengthened by my ability and capacity to communicate well with people under stressful and crisis situations. [As I] extend[ed] my role as a legal advocate I have beg[an] volunteering for Public Counsel’s “Community Development Project,” applying the skills I have learned as an intern paralegal and taking on the roles and responsibilities as the primary paralegal assisting two attorney’s in change of the project. With each an every new experience, I am learning how to not only better myself, but how to be more effective in working with others and helping others. The experiences I find most rewarding in life are the ones in which I can help make a difference in another’s life. I feel that by working on the hotline and by being involved in student groups, I have gained confidence in ability to take on more leadership positions and the confidence needed to pursue future career plans such as becoming a lawyer. Academic History What I do today, and the choices I make for myself, have a significant influence on the person I want to be one day. The skills I have learned as a volunteer on a Crisis Hotline is one example of an experience which has significantly influenced the way I see the world today, teaching me the importance of building and maintaining professional relationships with the people I work with, while at the same time strengthening my ability to communicate well with people under stressful and crisis situations. In November 2005 I received the Helping Hands Award, which reinforced and acknowledged the hard work and dedication I have showed to the organization. In that month I worked four twelve hour shifts, and had four hotcalls (assaults occurring within the past 24hrs), two of which I was called into the emergency room in the middle of the night to provide advocacy for a survivor undergoing a rape kit examination. The end of my senior year marked the most significant growth in my academic career and personal life. It was at that point in my academic career when I recognized the importance of helping myself before assisting others. I learned that in order to help influence change in the lives of others, I would have to develop the capacity to overcome personal setbacks preventing me from reaching my potential and capacity to help others. Writing and defending an honors thesis, gave me the structure I needed to move forward and better understand my own experiences as well as the experiences of those I interacted with over the hotline for three years. Dealing with vicarious symptoms of trauma required me to develop a treatment plan suited to my individual needs. I had no one to talk to and later found out, this was because so little was known. I found my own solution to coping, was by educating myself and [taking the] necessary [action] to help me move forward. Awareness is key to understanding. But I also want to do something to help make change happen in the lives of those I have interacted with. I feel that I can be a great asset to the current legal system, but I have a unique understanding of the experience of trauma, both first and second hand, that can only be learned through the experiences I have endured in my life time. I want to do more than merely be aware of the problems that exist in society, but I want to learn about what I can do for myself through education and work experience to put myself in a better position suited to helping those whose lives I want to change for the better. Going to law school enable[ed] me to extend my role within the helping professions, so that I [could] provide legal advocacy to those in need, especially to those experiencing the pains and trauma of being victims of crime. Furthermore, in order to extend my role as a legal advocate I [began] volunteering for Public Counsel’s “Community Development Project,” applying the skills I learned as an intern paralegal [by] taking on the roles and responsibilities as the primary paralegal assisting two attorney’s in change of the project. A successful education requires more than memorization and ability to apply theories and general concepts to specific circumstances. In order for me to fully understand the fundamental underpinnings of social problems, was to immerse myself in the problem itself, testing my capacity to apply what I have learned in the classroom to a real-world setting. I was more than aware of the problems that individuals in society faced, but fascinated by what I could do to get involved and do something to make change happen and influence the lives of others for the better. As I have become more involved in my extracurricular activities, I began to see a change in my academic interests and became more focused on exploring other areas of study, besides my primary major coursework. In the fall of 2004, during my Sophomore year I took a course called “Deviance in U.S. Society.” It was the first class to expose me to issues regarding crime and delinquency, and why people commit crimes. Education has been the one positive means for me to express myself and share my ideas, beliefs and opinions within a setting shared by similar individuals informed and committed to academic achievements. Being able to communicate myself has been the sole means for me to grow past the pain of trauma and develop a deeper understanding of how those experiences can be utilized in a positive way and not inhibit my personal and academic growth. I am aware of the impact that sharing our differences has on those around us. I have always been drawn to those who are different from myself. It is those people who have taught me the most about myself. It is in the sharing of our differences and interacting among those in unfamiliar territory that we learn the most about ourselves[,] and our intellectual capacity. I thrive in any environment that challenges me to step out of my comfort zone. By embracing my weaknesses I have not only become more understanding of myself but have been better able to adapt to my current environment as I have become aware of the level of patience required to effectively communicate and address the needs of those around me. I find comfort in the unknown and strength in my ability to overcome setbacks that have prevented me in the past from reaching certain goals in my academic and work experiences. 9 What I do today, and the choices I make for myself, have a significant influence on the person I want to be one day. The skills I have learned as a volunteer on a Crisis Hotline is one example of an experience which ha[d] significantly influenced the way [in which] I s[aw] the [W]orld. As a volunteer I have learned the importance of building and maintaining professional relationships with the people I work with, which has strengthened by my ability and capacity to communicate well with people under stressful and crisis situations. Taking a Course that Required me to Study those who Deviate from the Law Rather than Follow the Norm or the Law With each an every new experience, I am learning how to not only better myself, but how to be more effective in working with others and helping others. The experiences I find most rewarding in life are the ones in which I can help make a difference in another’s life. I have gained confidence in my ability to take on the challenges that law school present because I see the positive value that my education has had on my personal development. As a graduate of CU and as a student in the ABA Approved Paralegal Certificate Program at West Los Angeles College, in combination with my volunteer and work experiences are what have inspired me to learn more about law and explore the ways in which I can best prepare myself for the discipline and demands that a legal education requires. A successful education requires more than memorization and ability to apply theories and general concepts to specific circumstances. In order for me to fully understand the fundamental underpinnings of social problems, was to immerse myself in the problem itself, testing my capacity to apply what I have learned in the classroom to a real-world setting. I was more than aware of the problems that individuals in society faced, but fascinated by what I could do to get involved and do something to make change happen and influence the lives of others for the better. As I have become more involved in my extracurricular activities, I began to see a change in my academic interests and became more focused on exploring other areas of study, besides my primary major coursework. In the fall of 2004, during my Sophomore year I took a course called “Deviance in U.S. Society.” It was the first class to expose me to issues regarding crime and delinquency, and why people commit crimes. Unlike any other course I had taken so far, this was the first professor to include undergraduate students as part of teaching staff. I found the class so interesting I applied for a teaching position the following semester as was 1 of 10 selected from the top students in the class who applied, and were asked to be interviewed. Part of my job was to teach the material to the students the following semester with a T.A. during sections, two of which I taught, and to write examination questions, develop an answer key to the essay questions, and grade exams too. In the Fall of 2005, I decided to switch majors from Psychology to Sociology, and quickly became a member of CU’s AKD (Alpha Kappa Delta) International Sociology Honors Society, in November 2005, and served as the chapters president the following semester. As president, I was given the responsibility to organize the agenda and scheduling of meetings. My primary responsibility was soliciting other upper division Sociology majors, who met the requirements, to join. In order to help gather new members to the growing organization, I helped to develop a website for our chapter, to allow information about our group and the benefits of joining to be easily accessed online, by those interested. Since becoming a Sociology major, I have become more and more interested in exploring my writing capabilities, and challenging myself academically, making the most of my education here as an undergrad at CU. After taking a field research methods course this past semester (doing field research on Hotline Counselors [such as myself], [from] the organization I volunteer[ed] for), I was inspired to learn more about the topics I wished to address, and to further my knowledge on the sociological theories and aspects related to my field of study. I saw this [Research Course] as an opportunity to further my [S]ociology thought and knowledge about a specific group of people, and expand upon the work I had already begun, as an independent study during my senior year, working on a thesis. I was given a strong recommendation by my professor of my field research methods class to speak to the professor in charge of the sociology department’s honors program, once I applied I was immediately accepted into the program and offered a chance to prove my writing ability and capacity to develop and defend a senior [H]onor’s [T]hesis. Academic and Volunteer Experiences After a less than satisfactory senior year, I was determined to make a come back. In order to bolster my GPA I made a conscious decision to refocus my energies back to my academic endeavors and became motivated to graduate with honors despite the significant drop in my overall GPA Senior year. I had finished my Junior year on the Dean’s List and thought that I was invincible. My priorities changed and found that helping others no longer had a positive impact on my personal development. When I stopped focusing on myself and put the needs of others before my own, I quickly sank into a deep hole. What started out as a minor problem became spiraling into a debilitating disease. After the fall of my Senior year, I knew I had to take action. With the experience of helping others I was critically aware of the importance of building the necessary support networks around me to help fight through this problem. Rather than avoid my problems I began facing them head on and did everything I could to better myself. I found strength in support groups and sought individualized treatment. I confronted my family and allowed myself to overcome the shame and embarrassment that comes with admitting to ourselves, and others our failures and weaknesses. As, I rallied through the most significant turning point in my academic and personal development. [While] this story is significant, is not to highlight my biggest setback, but its help me move forward in my academic career. My senior year is not an accurate measure of my potential to fail as a law student, rather an indication of my awareness of my deficiencies, my ability to overcome those weaknesses, face my problems and deal with them. Excessive awareness of my weaknesses overpowered my capacity to stay positive and focused on my goals. Moving forward required me to focus on my strengths as an individual and realize my potential to overcome any barriers. I became less concerned with what my friends and family thought and more focused on what I could do to prove to myself that I could get through this problem. I knew that my biggest weakness was my desire to help others and failure to negatively judge those different from myself and viewed negatively based on societal assumptions about certain types of people. I circumvented this problem by disassociating myself from those who took advantage of my giving nature, loyalty, and kindness. In order to move forward I had to let go of those who were unable to help themselves. I took action, making myself and future my number one priority. My experiences have shown me the importance of education, discipline, and structure. Going to Law [S]chool will give me the education, discipline, and structure needed in order to strengthen my ability to help others, so that I can make a difference. I was able to help myself, not by what I was told to do, but by doing what I instinctively felt was the right the thing to do. I spent my Spring semester Senior year recovering, reading every book possible, even accessing journal articles through CU Boulder’s Library databases, researching support groups and networks in the area, in addition to attending classes and completing my requirement to graduate with the Spring 2007 class. I barely 11 kept up with my studies, even though I met every deadline that semester, my grades suffered as result of minimal class attendance. I had done everything required of me to graduate in the Spring 2007 but chose not to. The pressure to recover and bounce back became more burdensome than expected. I would graduate but without honors. I made a critical decision to rescind my application for graduation in the Spring and took the risk of pursuing an Honor’s Thesis and graduating with honors despite my 3.2 cum avg. at that time. I was not the average candidate and did not even meet the GPA requirement for general honors, but my successes as a Sociology major is what enabled me to achieve Departmental Honors in Sociology. That summer I became motivated and determined to prove myself and my intellectual capacity to research and compose a graduate level thesis, entitled, “Dealing with Vicarious Trauma and Managing Emotions While Providing Advocacy to Survivors of Sexual Assault.” This was no easy task. As a qualitative research study, I needed approval from the University’s Human Research Committee (HRC) to conduct my research. I submitted a proposal to the HRC describing my project, the population I would be studying and the participants who would be interviewed for this study. In addition, I also had to prepare a Confidentiality Agreement Form, which needed to be approved by the HRC and handed to each participant I would interview. The Confidentiality Agreement Form I prepared gave a general description of my research project, their rights as a participant, their right to refuse or discontinue the interview proceedings at any time, and needed their signed approval to interview them. In order to maintain the anonyminity of the participants of my study, I coded all my data and issued them numbers to prevent any records of their identity from being associated to my notes and recorded statements obtained from those interviews. Pursuing an Honors Thesis taught me the importance of maintaining a balance between ones personal and working relationships. Maintaining the anonyminity of the organization in which I studied was critical to the Committees approval of my study. As a longtime Volunteer and Hotline Counselor it was important for me to maintain that balance, although composing a study and critically analyzing the structure of that organization had its risks. A shift occurred when I was no longer helping them, but beginning to help myself and better understand my experience as a volunteer and the impact that my involvement within that organization had on my personal, emotional, and mental health. As a volunteer I only saw the positive benefits that the experience of helping others could have on my own personal development. However as a researcher I was able to look back, reflect, and analyze the experiences shared by the other volunteers I worked with, to better understand how this organization impacted these individuals lives, either for better or for worse. I became intrigued by the concept of vicarious trauma and curious as to why so little research and books have been written about vicarious trauma experienced by those in helping professions, such as counselors and therapists. I wanted to know who suffered from it and why. My research gave me answers to the questions I had. While researching and writing my Honor’s Thesis, I developed a deeper understanding of the problems and circumstances individuals face and how lack of foresight that comes with education needed to prepare those in specialized helping professions. Many of the counselors I spoke to, [stated] that “helping others … [helped them to] mak[e] a [positive] difference[,]” [which] is why they volunteered and outweighed the negative side-effects and detrimental impacts of working with individuals in crisis. Through my own experiences I have learned that trauma and the events that cause us to feel traumatized do not necessarily happen subsequent to one in another, or in that order. Sometimes there are gaps in time between the actual experience and the point in which we begin to feel the effect it has had on us. Thus experiencing first hand traumatized victims of violence and sexual assault and its effects may be less than noticeable from the start. Even less noticeable if we are being convinced that these feelings are “part of our job and that, “we all feel like that sometimes.” We were told to “take time out for ourselves” when we felt overwhelmed. I did more than take time out for myself. I wrote an Honor’s Thesis and helped myself when no one else knew how, when no one else could explain to me what I was going through, I had to figure it out on my own. 12 I allowed myself to heal through my experiences and personal pitfalls by staying committed to my academic achievements. Researching and writing enabled me to put my feelings, opinions, and beliefs aside, by taking a more objective approach to dealing with my problems. Understanding the causes and the mitigating factors that contribute to the circumstances I found myself in, helped me to overcome this roadblock. The purpose of my thesis was not to excuse the actions I took subsequent to my commitment as a volunteer or justify my actions by drawing an association between two problems, one experienced by those in helping professions and another problem faced by individuals in society in general. Rather the purpose of my research was not to help others initially, but it was about others and the impact that helping others has had on my self-worth, identity, personal, emotional, and academic development. Studying the effects of vicarious trauma and impact it has on individuals in helping professions provided me with the foundation from which to build my research. The interviews I conducted were unique in that I could empathize with those I spoke to, because I shared similar feelings as a hotline counselor. By analyzing the experiences of those I interviewed as well as my own, I attempted to provide an explanation, based on my own critical assessment and analysis of what resources were made available to me as a undergraduate student. My research was supported by the facts of what happened, the events leading up to that point in time, and the surrounding environmental contributors to that problem. My research was further supported by concurring accounts given by other counselors in addition to expert and licensed clinical therapists I interviewed to broaden my understanding and give me additional insight into their thoughts regarding the assistance they provide and standards they have placed in the care they provide in comparison to other organizations such as the one I studied, which may have placed their less experienced volunteers in less than favorable circumstances potentially causing members of their organization irreversible harm, mental, and emotional damage. These are the experiences which have motivated me to pursue a career in law. I am more than aware of the hardships individuals face in society and have specialized knowledge of the impacts that violence and sexual assault can have on its victims. Especially the impact that experiencing trauma can have on children, and that age matters in terms of one’s ability to cope with trauma and seek help. I know that for many individuals in society their options are limited in terms of the available help and resources needed to help address their individual needs. I know that not every student is as privileged as I, to have the support of family and financial resources to gain access to certain resources, which is why I want to go to law school, to make a difference in lives of those who are either unable or without the necessary support it takes to succeed in law school. Based on my own personal history, I know I am capable and I know that once given the opportunity I will do whatever it takes for me to be a successful law student and share with you an explanation of my prior experiences to evidence my ability to overcome and stay committed to my academic, personal, and career development. As I continue to rally through adversity, I have found ways to identify the significance of that experience, our friendship over the years, and the events that followed, in a positive way. Making a positive difference required me to help myself before assisting others. Diversifying the activities I chose and groups I associated with enabled me to remove myself from the cycle of trauma. Realizing my self-worth meant taking chances, taking risks, and believing in myself. I want to do more than merely be aware of the problems that exist in society; I want to learn about what I can do for myself through education and work experience to put myself in a better position suited to helping those whose lives I want to change for the better. Going to law school will enable me to extend my role within the service professions, and allow me to increase awareness and understanding among individuals who can help those at a disadvantage move on to more productive lives. 13 At this point I have made the greatest academic, personal, and work-related leap of my life. In order for me to continue the momentum carried by this transition, I have to dig deeper to achieve the professional growth that can only be accomplished by [continuing my] legal education Re: Learning Disability and Spring 2013 Arrest Record Throughout my Academic Career I have found grave difficulty achieving the kind of success I have always strived for as a student. For every Academic Institution in which I have thrived, there has always been one common denominator that keeps me motivated and inspirited, and that is my ability to relate and adapt to the environment in which I am taught. It was at University of Colorado at Boulder, where I began to excel academically and realize my full potential in research and writing, as a Sociology Honors Student. A very important skill I carried with me and applied to my studies as a Law Student in my Advanced Legal Writing Course, in which I was awarded a Witkin Award in Advanced Legal Writing for Academic Excellence. I have always strived to first make a difference in my own life, before I am able to help make a difference in the life of another. Throughout my Academic Career I have managed to maintain a delicate balance between the time dedicated to my studies in school as well as making time to volunteer and gain real world experience working in a law office setting in the Public Service Sector. I learned a very important lesson as a Juris Doctorate Student at the University of West Los Angeles School of Law, to always put myself first not the needs of others. For those reasons, I in turn mismanaged my time resulting in poor grades trying to work part time and go to school full time. Now three years later, I continue to make progress by focusing not on what has past but rather what I can do at the present moment to help build a better future for myself. This past semester has been a great learning experience in how no matter how trying or trivial the circumstances may be, focusing on the positive has kept me moving forward. When I got my DUI this Spring 2013, was the first time I have ever been arrested in my entire life, because I gave up on myself and my dreams of becoming an Attorney one day, and one of my greatest regrets in my entire Academic Career. The most important character trait that defines me, and which I protect at all costs, is my Academic Integrity, which can only be remedied by going back to school and starting anew. Throughout my Academic Studies as a Law Student and Undergraduate Student I have accumulated over 2,000 hours volunteering, interning, and externing at various Public Service Agencies, Law Firm, and Non Profit Organizations providing valuable services to individuals in need such as victims of crime, and provided volunteer paralegal services to Government officials and victims of car accidents at the The Los Angeles City Attorney’s Office, for one year prior to attending law school. Working as a Paralegal at the City Attorney’s Office [gave] me direction and focus, enabling me to make a difference, and move forward by extending my role within the legal field, in a positive way. In addition, volunteering for Public Counsel, and working with the Homeless and disadvantaged has further inspired me to do everything I can to stay positive and recognize the privileges I have been afforded in my life and how I can help others in the future. In the past, I have overextended myself as a victim advocate. When I was 19, I volunteered for a crisis hotline in order to better understand my mother’s childhood experiences and reasons for maintaining her silence. In order to better understand my own experiences, I decided to study the effects of sexual assault and vicarious trauma. I quickly identified the symptoms, which may otherwise be ignored or dismissed by outsiders. Writing helped me to understand the importance of building support networks, and in order to circumvent the side- effects of vicarious trauma meant that I had to interview various professionals, who gave me additional insight aside from the responses shared by those within the organization. While researching and writing my honors thesis, I began finding answers and potential solutions to the vicarious symptoms experienced by those in helping and advocacy professions. Writing helped prepare me for the difficulties I would encounter trying to understand the uniqueness of my childhood experiences and the positive effect that education and structure has had on my personal development. In order to fully understand the fundamental underpinnings of the problems faced by those responsible for defending others, I decided to immerse myself within the legal profession as an Intern Paralegal at the Los Angeles City Attorney's Office. While volunteering at the City Attorney's Office, I learned how to research, write and respond to discovery requests, and defend the City and its employees in personal injury lawsuits. Working at the City Attorney’s Office has given me direction and focus, teaching me how to channel my thirst for knowledge, enabling me to make a difference, and move forward, extending my role within the legal field one case at a time. “What is at Issue” Whats at issue. Is how schools by some professors grading tables, grew me insecure about my sense of logic and made me question myself, that’s whats at issue, and causes me now grave concern for how many other students are always treated akind to this kind of unrecognized adversity simply because they do not conform to the social ideals or representations of themselves or mold to which these professors what to regulate the conflict and confines of their ability to reason and draw deductions. To set up barriers to ones esteem or logic or ability to achieve is a great travesty (trevorsty) to ones upward mobility. Someone such as myself with a unique background and history, and high degree of conformity to socially appropriate standards of communication without subliminally messaging or conspiring. To be thrust in such a limelight to repond to such salacious rumors and gossip, such as the descriptive words used in one of my personal statements in 2009. Is absolutely a violation of my privacy, for people to think they can just barge into my computer read my material and then produce their own, trying to utlilize the educational tools and deductions from which I have ascribed to a set of ethical principles to the highest degree and in conformity with laws governing the standards to which those tools and educational resources may and may not be utilized. To be set up for failure is wrong in itself. What is even more gravely disturbing is how one experience such as hospitalization got twisted so far in the wrong direction. In 2008 I began my studies as a Paralegal student at an American Bar Association Paralegal Certificate Program. After taking a course on Introductory Civil Litigation, I had a meeting with a Professor after school hours to discuss “how to seal a deposition.” Upon background checking myself via Google, I found that my name had been cached to a Deposition from 1994, the year that a woman who was like a Mother to me, was stabbed to death in front of her home the night of my last Dance Recital at Paul Revere Middle School. I was told to write a note of compassion, which I expressed in a brief statement on a memorial page on Facebook, “please respect the privacy of her children and do not write anything that would be considered offensive [to the memory of their mother, Nicole Brown Simpson].” As a paralegal student I felt helpless. After writing my personal statements, then reading a deposition led by Mr. Petrocelli of my parents, I became 15 suspicious of the intent for which those questions were asked, in regards to the whereabouts of his children, to which I was a named party to the response to the open ended question. Reading further in my mother’s deposition, I found a piece regarding the length of my friendship to Sydney, considering now I am going to law school and her father going to jail, I felt at odds, that this would look to be something related, to which it was never meant to be related. Needing to gain a better understanding of why these question prompts were asked, I found a very strongly suggested piece of evidence to which he was adamantly trying to get responses for, regarding my mother’s book, and requesting for a copy of the book. Reading this, and recalling my mother’s book being reviewed by friends while at her home, I read the book briefly up until a point where I could see that the information contained in the book could be seriously misleading, given it was edited by someone with no forethought, just trying to paint a picture without consideration for the potential consequences or implications that could potentially arise from the order in which the characters of the book were introduced. Seeing that I was the first individual described in detail, I immediately became concerned. As I thought this was a book about my mother’s life, entitled “The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth.” I began seeking a response, just a simple response, why did you write those things in your book about me, portraying me as someone who is mentally disabled [I only got zeros on my ERBs in Kindergarten, I never realized how difficult it was to help me do well in school or teach me how to study, but now I do not interpret that description in the negative, but it is nice to know that was a difficulty my Mother faced at the time, which she shared with her best-friend Nicole, asking for advice, which Nicole replied by saying something to the extent to be patient with me, needs to be read to, she will be fine –I don’t remember exactly what was said in my Mother’s book] -or in need of special assistance or severely learning disabled. I do not recall needing that much attention or assistance growing up, I was active in sports and gymnastics, had friends, and generally liked school and an enthusiastic student. [Now I see: That was just Petrocelli making me paranoid again about people casting a negative judgment towards me or my family]. (Written 2013) When circumstances arise, that which no explanation is required, and response by one is sufficient to help put the remaining pieces together, than no person on this planet is at privy to re-situate me under even dire circumstances to try to prove my character is otherwise is futile to the central purpose for sharing peacefully. That is their motive. Bullies, attack generally when one’s guard is down, and there is an incentive from the start. When I met this man, he was down and out, with a slurring slow tone, "I'm in technology" at that time I was not able to help anyone, because I am sick and trying to get my strength back, my brain works, my head hurts, my body gets tired easily, I lose energy quickly, I’m driven, and I generally get along with everyone unless they are triggering me in a way that a response in direct reaction could have a dramatic effect on my ability to move forward given the circumstances, I have tried my best to stay focused and calm and carry on without drama or fighting with any one person in particular, that was the main idea. Dear Associate Dean O'Neal: I have taken the time to gather my thoughts, and composure, taking online classes at Thomas Jefferson School of Law, LLM. I am in a much better place now, focus wise and disciplined. I got a DUI Spring 2014 semester, after I was Academically Dismissed, and took some time to regroup and just got my Drivers License back. 16 I was in a relationship with someone to whom I was co-dependent on for support, when I was struggling in Law School. The constant fighting messed with my head and ultimately had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized February 2013 and again in September 2013. Both times I was hospitalized I was put on 5150 hold for harm to self and diagnosed as Gravely Disabled. The first time I encountered this issue was February 2009 I was hospitalized and diagnosed as gravely disabled for the first time, prior to attending Law School. I know that drinking can interfere with my focus and mode stability, which is why I refrained from drinking while in Law School. I am now under the care of a new psychiatrist Dr Gandin, and given a shot of Risperidone every two weeks, for mood stability and have resumed taking my Learning Disability medication after being taken off Adderrall Summer 2011 (for 3 years), and put in treatment for two months for Depression and Suicidal thoughts after my boyfriend at the time broke up with me during finals. I have continued to rally through these personal struggles, and do my best, and try to communicate as clearly as possible my goals in life. To finish Law School, either at UWLA (where I have spent the past 5 years) or finish only with an LLM at Thomas Jefferson School of Law if I can meet the demands of the challenging course load, reading comprehension wise. I want to stay in school, because school is where I thrive best and feel the most at peace with myself, productive, apart of society, not isolated, and positive social interaction with individuals who share a similar interest in achieving great things in life and helping others. I hope that this letter better explains, the embarrassment I am going through right now, and sincere apologies for my inability to explain in a concise manner why my grades were dropping and why it was so difficult for me to explain why. I have mental health issues, I get sick from time to time lethargic, I sleep a lot , or experience mania and feel alone ruminating being too hard on myself. I just want to finish law school, as best I can. Topic: Getting a DUI Personal Statement to Thomas Jefferson School of Law Throughout my Academic Career I have found grave difficulty achieving the kind of success I have always strived for as a student. For every Academic Institution in which I have thrived, there has always been one common denominator that keeps me motivated and inspirited, and that is my ability to relate and adapt to the environment in which I am taught. It was at University of Colorado at Boulder, where I began to excel academically and realize my full potential in research and writing, as a Sociology Honors Student. A very important skill I carried with me and applied to my studies as a Law Student in my Advanced Legal Writing Course, in which I was awarded a Witkin Award in Advanced Legal Writing for Academic Excellence. I have always strived to first make a difference in my own life, before I am able to help make a difference in the life of another. Throughout my Academic Career I have managed to maintain a delicate balance between the time dedicated to my studies in school as well as making time to volunteer and gain real world experience working in a law office setting in the Public Service Sector. I learned a very important lesson as a Juris Doctorate Student at the University of West Los Angeles School of Law, to always put myself first not the needs of others. For those reasons, I in turn mismanaged my time resulting in poor grades trying to work part time and go to school full time. Now three years later, I continue to make progress by focusing not on what has past but rather what I can do at the present moment to help build a better future for myself. [2013 was] a great learning experience in how no matter how trying or trivial the circumstances may be, focusing on the positive has kept me moving forward. 17 When I got my DUI this Spring 2013, was the first time I have ever been arrested in my entire life, because I gave up on myself and my dreams of becoming an Attorney one day, and one of my greatest regrets in my entire Academic Career. The most important character trait that defines me, and which I protect at all costs, is my Academic Integrity, which can only be remedied by going back to school and starting anew. Throughout my Academic Studies as a Law Student and Undergraduate Student I have accumulated over 2,000 hours volunteering, interning, and externing at various Public Service Agencies, Law Firm, and Non Profit Organizations providing valuable services to individuals in need such as victims of crime, and provided volunteer paralegal services to Government officials and victims of car accidents at the The Los Angeles City Attorney’s Office, for one year prior to attending law school. I know now that the decisions I make at the present moment have a substantial impact on my ability to grow both emotionally and professionally. I have spent my entire Academic Career building a foundation of Integrity that provides me with the kind of self reliance necessary to become a professional, without dependency on anyone or anything to maintain composure under pressure. Without strict adherence to the laws required as a Driver on the road, to not have alcohol in their system, is a devastating end to my studies as a Law Student at UWLA School of Law. This past semester I have been arrested twice, aggravated and helpless and compliant but to no avail no one will write a letter on my behalf to return to law school, and its eating me away inside I feel completely worthless. By the second time I got pulled over and arrested, I was arrested for and in full compliance skipped the sobriety test and took the breathalyzer exam, after which was given the option of being transferred to a psych ward in Long Beach or Jail, and not wanting to run the risk of being put on an extended 14-day hold at the psych ward, I opted to spend the night in jail instead. I am trying my very best to build me Academic Integrity back to where it was when I started law school and that no distraction is an excuse nor any disturbances adequate justification for non compliance with the rules of the road, to no drink and drive. I learned a very important lesson this semester. Chapter 29: Book Writing (iCloud Notes) (2015) by Leslie A. Fischman
12/15/17 TBP Chapter 28: iCloud Notes by Leslie A. Fischman
12/15/17 4/5/17 It's not necessary you be happy in order to accomplish your goals in life. Just stay focused. Happiness will come when you're good and ready. What's most important is that you are working doing something with your life that you'll thank yourself later for. You go through so many changes in life. Sometimes life gets overwhelming. Just take it one step at a time. Every day is worth your best. You won't know your worth unless you try. It's all a matter of self-control, knowing your limits. In order to exceed expectations you must be healthy. It's not required you be a workhorse overextending yourself, but just do your best. It's all about timing. You're best timing in life occurs when you are ready. Leading a disciplined life is what improves your good timing in life. When your life falls apart so does everything around you. Don't overthink. Sometimes when you overthink things you wind up feeling lost. Much about life is being in action. It's important to think things through but not to the point where it worries you. You only have one life to live. 3/30/17 No matter how long it takes, hope you get to where you are going in one piece. Never look back, and never stop dreaming. It doesn't matter how long it takes what matters most is how you spend your time. Don't procrastinate. Don't overextend yourself. Set limits. And always do your best. Live life to the fullest. 3/24/17 You're never really ready for change when it occurs. Usually when we are not paying close attention change happens and we just have to adjust to the circumstances. Some people are in your life and some people are not but you can't make anyone be in your life if they don't want to be -you have to allow things to occur naturally. Nothing forced ever works out -let them come to you. 3/23/17 It's not always about winning and losing in life. Some battles are best lived unsung. This is mostly to save face but sometimes in your best interests not to fight. Always rise above controversy these adversities in life will only make you stronger. In the long run you'll thank yourself later sparring yourself the unnecessary heartache. 3/22/17 My mind is rather quiet these days. I don't have much to say, but I feel better now. Just continue to move forward -I'll have to remind myself. Such devastating losses in friends and relationships are nothing that anyone should find easy to overcome. Everything heals with time, should just be thankful -never stop counting my blessings in life. At the right time when Im ready everything should come together again, that I hope. 3/22/17 Some things never change -most of all people. It's not that I'm any different now with or without him but we hope that it's for the better that we part. Unfortunately you can't get everything you want in life. Sometimes you click and sometimes you don't. Not my happily ever after I envisioned for myself -in love, in a psych ward. I guess it was all in my head afterall, just my imagination playing tricks on me, running wild. 3/22/17 Never take anyone for granted. Life is precious, short, and never worth aggravating the ones you love while you recover from what ails you in life. Share less problems, the less you share, the more positive memories you can share. The most important relationship is your relationship with yourself and how well you take care of yourself. Until you take good care of yourself can you be a positive influence on others. 3/7/17 When you love someone you would do anything to make them happy. That includes putting your needs aside in place of theirs -do what you think will please them. Sometimes this helps us with our best decision making and sometimes to our detriment -at our expense we please others. I guess that's how you find out who your best match is for you in life, whether their needs -pleasing their needs brings out your best or your worst. Everything in life requires balance including meeting the needs of the ones you love and in all relationships. Therefore always use your best judgment on top of everything never quit applying basic skills general sense of moral and principle to your decision making -that should ensure common sense is always at play not ruled by the feelings of others which aren't always correct nor lead you to the best decisions. Pleasing others is one step toward happiness and self fulfillment but always use your best judgment at the end of the day, be compassionate & empathetic without sacrificing your basic needs as well which is to feel whole complete independent with or without them needing you all the time. 3/6/17 People will think what they want to think about you you cannot change that about others. You cannot control what people think no matter how hard you try. People will judge you based on what you say, how you look, and what you share about yourself & by what others share about you. That is how opinions of you are drawn. Opinions are just inferences drawn from the facts given to them. Often times people are misrepresented and judgments made from opinions geared by a series of assumptions (rumors) not the facts as they are given. People will always think in terms of what makes sense to them not always have your best interests in mind. Why it's best not to share too much personal information about yourselves and others, that's a basic skill necessary for protecting ones own sense of privacy. 3/6/17 People talk $hit to empower themselves by putting others down. Don't engage with people who do so -in one ear out the other. Spread no rumors about people that only makes you look bad, obsessed with the lives of others other than your own. It's called illness an obsession for the problems of others to make you feel better about yourself, and if there are none created by you to reaffirm your negative expectations, judgments, thoughts, opinions, and assumptions about others. Learn how to just leave things alone, sometimes less is more, bullying is not the answer to social ills. The purposes of this campaign is to help others by writing a self help book. Its not a biography or book about others it's a book about myself my thoughts my psyche do not project your problems onto me for added discussion. 3/6/17 People will always say things to cause you to think things, say things, repeat the harm its called a cycle. To break the cycle don't contribute to your causes for paranoia by similarly spreading rumor or defaming others it is what is making you look bad. To rehabilitate your good character sometimes you need to just be quiet, listen more, talk less. Everyone is going through a difficult time right now it's not just you. We all suffer we all experience pain & failure in life. You just have to keep moving forward. Rehashing the past is not going to help anyone including you it only makes everyone look bad. Represent yourself first before others, if you figure that much out you make it half way out of the insanity caused by rumors & people talking $hit. 3/6/17 Sometimes you have to learn how to just let things go. Talking $hit only makes things worse, it makes you worse off and those you talk about worse off -it's never the way forward, only causing mental illness and paranoia. It is not required we be accepting of all people, it helps, but sometimes you have to learn how to just coexist especially online, with hashtags shoutouts etc are never meant to cause harm only tell a story with citation. Inference can lead to paranoia. 8/21/17 It was never my intent to write a book. I don't think anyone lives and plans to write a book about themselves at any point, it just happens. Usually one must be successful in order to write a book. I have not achieved the level of success I feel is necessary to write a book. But while I have time, I thought I might as well try. 8/20/17 It just so happens that even the sweetest people are unlucky in love. Or so I've noticed. If you are one who attracts the kind who once feel better leave you, then that's okay. That's normal who we empower usually attract, once independence is lost they will look for better, someone who improves them not weakens them. 8/20/17 The best lives are led by those who put others before themselves. Usually end up in the right places in life. Karma is a product of who you benefit weaken in life, for every failure or miss, your chances of being thrown off point in the future increase if you don't improve someone else will bring about circumstances in the future where you've failed in the past. Recognize your best, always do your best, and never interfere with the positive progress of others, always compete against oneself. Everyone should be better off having known you, whether or not they stay. 8/20/17 You are a product of the choices you make in life, determine where you end up in life. For better or worse sometimes we realize as we go and correct problems, sometimes we fall thru the cracks, and end up behind in life. You have no one to blame but yourselves, the minute you start pointing fingers, you are in the wrong. You get nowhere in life fighting and blaming others for your misfortunes. The only one who has the power to change you is yourself. 3/1/17 Life hits you hard sometimes. And you don't know how to be. Always behave with class, appropriate, you'll thank yourself later for it and be glad you did. It's not required you respond to negativity, but if you do, don't let it get the best of you -afterall they're just voices. You choose which voice is heard, yours or theirs, always represent yourself best. People will try to make you uncomfortable or bring out your worst -don't let them. They do so to make you say things to compromise your position of power in life -cast you off as underserving of the position you hold in society, well earned, by your own merits. Nothing is given to us in life, including answers to problems, that is something we must all figure out for ourselves. 3/2/17 My blog was beautiful, quotes everyday in thoughtful prose. Now wasting time and energy with damage control, breaking up fights online, and busy persuading others not to take sides. Fighting is clearly not the purposes for this campaign nor is creating sides that only interferes with my main objective: peace. 3/3/17 It doesn't matter how long it takes for you to get there but so long as you know where you are going in life you should never get lost. These things take time: love and career. It's not always obvious at the time which direction to go but if you follow your heart you will always end up in the right place at the right time. Being successful in love and career sometimes requires you to take risks in life -never be afraid of a challenge. 3/3/17 In order to not be easily affected requires a certain degree of maturity and consistency in thought, demeanor, and decision making skills demonstrated. 3/3/17 There are plenty of ways to see forward. You can either see your glass as half full or half empty. That's your decision. Just don't be surprised when depression hits -allowing negativity to affect your day. We feel most defeated in life when we succumb to negative voices -those who are people pleaser are most vulnerable, pleasing the wrong voices can often times lead you astray. To avoid being misled in life, caught off guard, put in uncomfortable positions in life -always stay true to your values and have a sense of faith. See the good in people and don't beat yourself up too much, it happens to the best of us. 3/5/17 Always wish others well no matter how upset you get, less is more, better to bite your tongue than express grievances out loud. People will continue to harm you only if you allow them to. Your happiness threatens unhappy people because they do not feel you deserve happiness, always prove them wrong under those circumstances. Life is all about letting the best person win, those who are most composed tend to be winners in life, those who more easily lose composure are the ones who struggle in life and some of us die. Best to keep sober, clean, celibate marry have families and children -and don't let anyone ruin your positive outlook in life and success they're just jealous. In order for others to be happy for you you must represent what they think is deserving of success so make money lots of it and earn the respect you deserve rich or poor. 3/5/17 Don't let others interfere with your ability to succeed in life. There will always be haters, i.e. people not on your team in life and that's okay. Don't engage in argument that just makes people pick sides, don't allow others to force you to fight back, that only creates teams. Best you can do is always be diplomatic. Never lose composure, don't allow others to defeat your peaceful progress or affect your goals of peace in life. Don't let others make you suicidal when disabled unable to achieve your goals in life. At the end of the day those who harm you are the ones who suffer, always rise above, and continue to wish everyone well. Your success in life should never negatively impact others, it's all in their head. Don't fall victim to hatred toward you or bullying. 3/6/17 We can't be perfect always. Sometimes our timing is off and everything goes wrong. It's not the end of the world. We can't read the mind of others, sometimes we can't even control what goes on within us. It's a loss of control of self and the direction of our thoughts that cause us mental illness and debilitation. Writing and reading is so important for the process of recovery from mental illness, learn how to gear our thoughts toward the positive and how to control the intake of negative voices in our minds. The more we listen the more we grow. The less we react to stimuli the better off we will be. Don't be anyone's experiment in life -always be in control. 3/6/17 If we could be anything in the world what would we be? Where would you be without your family, friends, and loved ones. Much about life requires us to weigh the positives too, not just the negatives. It's important to be grateful everyday, this helps you stay positive moving forward. What drives you in life? What do you live for? Having a purpose driven life means being goal oriented and living life for some higher purpose greater than yourself or for your own benefit. It takes a long time to find higher purpose. Most of the time we get stuck in daily drama and mishaps and forget to look at the big picture. The big picture helps us to put ourselves into perspective so that no problem is too big for us to deal with everything in manageable loads. There are so many reasons to live, surely not for the acceptance from others, then you'll never be happy -trust me I would know. I do best when I'm achieving in life, acceptance comes later, you just have to continue believing in yourself -you know yourself best don't let the opinions of others affect your self esteem or how you feel about yourself. 3/6/17 People will always say things to cause you to think things, say things, repeat the harm its called a cycle. To break the cycle don't contribute to your causes for paranoia by similarly spreading rumor or defaming others it is what is making you look bad. To rehabilitate your good character sometimes you need to just be quiet, listen more, talk less. Everyone is going through a difficult time right now it's not just you. We all suffer we all experience pain & failure in life. You just have to keep moving forward. Rehashing the past is not going to help anyone including you it only makes everyone look bad. Represent yourself first before others, if you figure that much out you make it half way out of the insanity caused by rumors & people talking $hit. There's a reason for everything social. How people treat you is a direct reflection of: (1) how you look (2) how you behave (3) how successful you are (4) how professional you are (5) what you say and (6) what you do. Take nothing personally. Always do your best.
Always be thankful for your sense of personal security, faith, good wits, and livelihood. -The more you fuss over little things in life the less centered you become. The more you make things about your needs the less people care. The more you focus on bettering yourself the more people want to be around you. It's all a matter of manifestation: what you see becomes, especially when it comes to you and how you lead your life. That's all that should matter to you during times of need, and if capable help others. Never bother people who work hard especially during times of crisis. Give people space. No it's not commonplace to interrogate the private spaces, lives, and personal spaces of others. Always give people room to breathe. The times are not as bad as you make them out to be UNTIL you create circumstances or ideas that justify in the negative why your (1) unhappiness unequivocally relates to (2) current unhappiness. Unhappiness PAST does not therefore equal unhappiness present. That's all in your head. Always (1) be understanding of others (2) there for others (3) professional (4) there (5) present (6) emotionally strong (7) always set a good example to others and (8) be forgiving. What's NOT worse NEVER gets better by FOCUS on the negatives. You WILL NEVER SUCCEED if you are negative toward self or others. Best to constantly work on yourself and get strong until you are strong enough to help: (1) yourself THEN (2) strong enough to: (a) be there for others (b) help others. Attendance is NOT mandatory it's an option. -I need to help myself right now. Move forward. (To be continued ...) |
AuthorLeslie A. Fischman Please Note: I have finished writing the first draft of my first book, still editing Ch 13-25, my goal is to publish my book 2020 after I graduate, working on myself right now.
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