PLEASE NOTE: Discontinued due to mental health reasons, stopped improving, working on myself. I also cannot afford to be supported if I am being hurt then that is not the purpose for a blog, to complicate my life, or to not live a life worth supporting or hard to treat, which means be less independent, and not miss opportunities in life oversharing for acceptances, how you get viewed as mentally ill. Just do your best. I lost 50 lbs, I didnt date, I went shopping, I bought outfits, I bought makeup, it will not matter pretty overweight, intelligent, with a degree, I will not allow myself to be made an example of in favor of anyone who is looking for someone to blame in a politically intelligent way, and then be fed more information and stories from me, to rationalize what they have thought or done, to then not excuse me and to make me look like Im unhappy, or not achieved, or not going to make it, or suicidal, like I can afford to have my life ruined or destroyed taken off meds, limited, not helped, or treated as guilty, and if it’s something that no one can help me with then its not worth my time energy and effort to continue blogging, if I am going to be blamed for being naked in private then have those images shared in public, to make me seem like Im not a loving or caring person, respond to every email and text message and never complain, understanding of most, I dont have the heart to go through one more embarrassment, breakup, misunderstanding, just to say things that make the other person make sense then have no one say anything to help me, or help better my life, like I need defense or anyone to speak for me. #stopsuicide, because I am not the solution to your problem, then I dont have to blog to help anyone. I need to think about whether its worth it, for me to write, or whether putting myself at risk of harm, being viewed in the negative is worth being out and about or run the risk of being attacked like Ive done wrong. I think I have suffered enough silent treatment, and did well in the quiet and improved its no ones job to tell me how to be smart, how to improve, how to better my life, how to be loved, or how to figure out whats wrong. You can do your best and that can still not be enough for anyone to not hurt you, or have a change of heart, once someone thinks that youre in the wrong, thats how they treat you, until you lose composure, until they feel better, until you sound stupid, and the benefit to their health is to see you suffer, desginate causes for suffering, to do the community a service by hurting you, and thats what they have convinced themselves to project things into you and through you, until they have the power to project things through you, until what they want to be said is said, to please who is watching, and thats how who is watching controls, that is by view and by read, until written, to confirm, where from.
Please call Spitzer if you have any questions or need help or advice: (714) 347-8401.